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Obese/morbidly obese posting tiny "meals" on social media
HoneyBadger302
Posts: 2,070 Member
in Debate Club
I've seen this over and over with several people I have known who are obese or morbidly obese - they will regularly post photos of themselves and a "tiny" meal, often asking others to share what their meals looked like.
Why??
For example, a friend just posted a picture of a yogurt - one single serving yogurt. "This is my lunch today - what's yours? Let's see them!" This is not the first time I've seen her do this - in fact, it's pretty regular.
Another friend does/did the same type of thing.
Both are of average height (5'6"- 5'9" ish), and in the 350-600 pound category.
They are not actively working on losing weight, where there might be some changes they are making and they're wanting to put it out there, so that's not the reason (I can totally understand sharing if you're making some changes as social support helps).
I'm just curious if there is a generalized reason for what triggers this kind of post/behavior in these circumstances (extremely overweight, not changing anything, unable to hide their size)?
Other than some distant family members, there aren't a lot of people that large in my circle, so maybe it's just the couple people I see who do fall into that category....Just curious on what motivates that kind of post.
Why??
For example, a friend just posted a picture of a yogurt - one single serving yogurt. "This is my lunch today - what's yours? Let's see them!" This is not the first time I've seen her do this - in fact, it's pretty regular.
Another friend does/did the same type of thing.
Both are of average height (5'6"- 5'9" ish), and in the 350-600 pound category.
They are not actively working on losing weight, where there might be some changes they are making and they're wanting to put it out there, so that's not the reason (I can totally understand sharing if you're making some changes as social support helps).
I'm just curious if there is a generalized reason for what triggers this kind of post/behavior in these circumstances (extremely overweight, not changing anything, unable to hide their size)?
Other than some distant family members, there aren't a lot of people that large in my circle, so maybe it's just the couple people I see who do fall into that category....Just curious on what motivates that kind of post.
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Replies
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I think nearly every social media post has one purpose...to get attention.
No matter the size of a person, I would guess the motivation in cases such as this example are to get "likes", "you-go-girl"s, "great job"s, etc.10 -
I tend to want to interpret things generously. So, one possibility (which I think could truly be in the picture for some):
Most of us like to feel "normal" in some sense. People who are seriously obese sometimes have a personal and family history of eating behaviors that they intuit may not be "normal" in a broader sense, because many others are not so severely obese. So, post a picture of single serve yogurt, ask what others are eating for lunch? Coded: "What is normal? Is this normal?"
. . . with a seasoning of aspirational, maybe? (Even if not explicitly trying to lose weight.)
FWIW: I was 'only' class 1 obese at peak weight, so just under 200 pounds at 5'5". One of my co-workers, a slim, athletic woman, would go swim on our lunch hour (she'd been a competitive swimmer in school), then eat an apple for lunch.
One apple. Just the apple. That didn't seem normal to me, at the time. Now, though I'd want some peanut butter or the like with my apple for lunch, personally, it seems fairly normal.
Of course, the "I eat like a bird but am obese anyway" representation could be in there, too. If there's shame around weight/eating, secret eating, etc., as part of a person's situation, that would be understandable.
But I'm speculating. I post pictures of foods (here or elsewhere) only occasionally, and when I do it's because they're special (the food or the event), unusual, extra yummy, experimental, mildly scary, or something like that. That's been true for me, fat and thin.
ETA: Even though I share what I think is your puzzlement about someone doing what you describe, it mostly makes me feel concern/compassion, I guess. What does get under my skin is people posting "funny" memes about how hilarious it is to be overweight or to overeat, how pathetic and obsessive thin people are living on lettuce or whatever, and that sort of thing. Yes, I felt the same way about that when I was fat, too.16 -
Some people I know are “secret eaters”. These aren’t even obese people. Just in the overweight category. But if they ate what you saw them eat all the time they’d be very thin. ( salad with no dressing and a small amount of lean protein, half a turkey sandwich and a small helping of fruit. ) And the declare themselves “ so full” Never a high calorie food. Ever. They are obviously eating more in private but maybe they are so afraid of being judged they can’t do it publicly. And maybe that what this is about?13
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I'm with Anne in thinking a 'this is normal/I am normal/IS this normal' is likely a lot of it.6
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I could see the "normal?" and the judgement pieces both part of it - I just found it particularly perplexing when, what clearly is not a normal meal for this person, was what they posted about.
I occasionally share food/meal photos, generally if it's something that came out particularly tasty. Once I posted a meal I had made (weighed, measured the whole thing) and had people guess the calories by looking at the plate. Almost no one got it right, and most underestimated the calories by 200-300. For one meal. I've tracked/weighed/measured on and off for many years, and while I'm pretty good at estimating what I'm actually eating, if I take too long off from tracking, "calorie creep" still proves to be a thing when I get back to it.
Off topic, but my brain went there LOL....I think because I'm wondering if the see that yogurt at x calories, and if they make a connection between that and their other meals...or "I 'only' ate a yogurt for lunch, so dinner can be x."
Not sure, just speculating on what I know I sometimes find is happening when the scale starts to creep up on me (like it has the past couple months
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wunderkindking wrote: »I'm with Anne in thinking a 'this is normal/I am normal/IS this normal' is likely a lot of it.
Yeah, this was my thought too, and perhaps wanting some positive feedback as incentive to keep going with whatever was determined to be a weight loss plan.
When I was fat, I never would have let on I was trying to lose, so I don't think we can know if the person wants to or not, and they may be extremely clueless (and aware of it) about how to eat in a way that would cause weight loss, and perceive it as something impossible.6 -
33 -
"Why???" because they want to. I could go on any social media platform and see posts I don't understand. Memes, jokes, inside jokes, I'm bored posts, arguing over inane topics on twitter, Tiktoks that make no sense (and no sense why people Hearted it), arguing over politics etc etc etc. What I Ate posts are in your category of posts you don't understand.
They probably want to feel connected by posting that What I Ate Today post, quite possibly on Instagram where there are about 1/4 of a million posts.3 -
SuzySunshine99 wrote: »I think nearly every social media post has one purpose...to get attention.
No matter the size of a person, I would guess the motivation in cases such as this example are to get "likes", "you-go-girl"s, "great job"s, etc.
Exactly 👍😁0 -
Social media is so unhealthy IMO
It's literally setting yourself up to be judged - oh sorry I meant 'encouraged '
😉7 -
deleted0
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SuzySunshine99 wrote: »I think nearly every social media post has one purpose...to get attention.
No matter the size of a person, I would guess the motivation in cases such as this example are to get "likes", "you-go-girl"s, "great job"s, etc.
Just like a certain website where you can join monthly challenges or post the weight you want to be by a certain date.
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SuzySunshine99 wrote: »I think nearly every social media post has one purpose...to get attention.
No matter the size of a person, I would guess the motivation in cases such as this example are to get "likes", "you-go-girl"s, "great job"s, etc.
Just like a certain website where you can join monthly challenges or post the weight you want to be by a certain date.
For me, the biggest difference between posting on MFP and posting on say, Facebook, is the anonymity.
IRL, I'm a very private person who does not like a lot of attention. I don't think that any of my real friends or family should have to pretend that they care about what I had for breakfast.
I like posting here because I don't have to use my real name or face. I'm not "friends" with anyone here, have no private interaction with anyone, and therefore no emotional stake in whether someone "likes" me or "disagrees" with me.
I like having these conversations here about health and fitness because it's interesting to me, and I've learned a lot from other posters.
But, I would NEVER do it if it wasn't anonymous.20 -
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If it’s just one photo a day and not a food diary of photos.. could be that it’s really her lunch?
Dinner could be a whole pizza .. but maybe she is proud she did good for lunch? Maybe the commentary on good food choices encourages her …
My 3 cents
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I think it might be to counteract judgment they receive for their weight! I don't know their lives of course but I do know being overweight can be difficult if you are not exercising frequently because people will accuse you of not trying to lose weight and be even meaner than they already are. These posts could be a way to prevent such comments?5
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Posting meals on MFP is a net WIN. It's one of my favorite threads on here. I appreciate all of their hard work and ideas in a judgment free zone. The food police are not coming to your house asking for your stats. Good lighting and good food fixes everything.4
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Safari_Gal_ wrote: »If it’s just one photo a day and not a food diary of photos.. could be that it’s really her lunch?
Dinner could be a whole pizza .. but maybe she is proud she did good for lunch? Maybe the commentary on good food choices encourages her …
My 3 cents
This might be an accurate read on what’s happening…maybe not. Either way it’s problematic in that the people who are posting these tiny meal pictures are latching onto extreme ideas instead of an informed and reasonable approach to weight loss.0 -
Social media is typically fake. Look at Instagram model pics vs reality. When people use social media to make connections what they put out and receive is not true reality. I think people eating healthy and get in shape notice obesity more. So you're hyper sensitive to she obviously doesn't eat 200cal meals 3x per day. Thing is most of the women seen don't have that hair color, nail or lashes either and most people suck in their tummy. My perspective is you felt offended enough by her obesity to consider her post a lie and a stupid one because everyone sees her size. I personally see many obese women starving themselves in the morning and or afternoon and eating wildly high calorie things late at night. I would guess she really ate that as lunch and ignored fluid calories, super high calorie dips/ sauces and large late night eats. Either way a yogurt post is just a yogurt post and everyone wants someone to like and or be proud of them.6
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A lot of overweight people at work eat small lunches of yogurt and fruit and I was trying to figure this out myself.
Here is what I have been thinking:
A lot of yogurt these days is very sweet and mostly carbs. It seems like these same people eat a lot of simple carbohydrates and not many vegetables or protein in their lunches. So say a common meal would be a bagel with fruit and strawberry yogurt. They also are the same people who will readily take free food at work without thinking about it, and I find a lot of people don't really take into account how much the little splurges here and there affect their calories - or even just how high in calories a donut or cookie is. In addition, maybe they have really big dinners or eat lots of snacks when they get home from work. You never know what people eat outside of work (or in this case outside of instagram posts). They might go out for drinks or for dinner a lot. They may cook more high-fat, high-calorie, processed foods at home. They may have a liking for potato chips or chocolate while watching TV at night. They may also try so hard to eat so little most of the time that they end up binging the calories back at some point in the week and overcompensating for their restriction.
In the opposite way, I also see some of the skinny girls at work eating donuts or other high-calorie foods. You would think, oh they are just naturally skinny - but this is not always true. The one girl even said herself she hardly eats, she doesn't have much of an appetite.
I also noticed when you watch episodes of Super Size vs Super Skinny, a lot of the "naturally thin" people are as skinny as they are just because they don't care to eat. Not because they have some naturally gifted metabolism. They may eat unhealthy food such as processed cheese sandwiches or fast food every now and then but for the most part they just don't eat ENOUGH CALORIES in general, not so much what they are eating. There was only one episode that I've seen so far where the Super Skinny person on the episode was that way because of being super health-conscious. All the others just drank a lot of coffee instead of eating, were super busy, and/or just didn't care to eat.
Anyways, that's just what I've noticed on the matter through personal anecdotes. I am interested in hearing others' experiences/ideas as well.1 -
They probably read somewhere that posting their weight loss journey on social media or telling friends and family helps to keep them accountable. Personally I find that to be terrible advice for a variety of reasons. First it is way to easy to manipulate what you post on social media and omit posting the bad food choices you eat daily. Secondly, telling all your friends and family can put undue stress on yourself and stress is the enemy of fat loss especially for people who normally gravitate to food as a coping mechanism. Lastly, most family and friends just don't care. Sure they will give you the obligatory "Good for you, that's great, good luck". Some might even be sincere in their well wishes but most aren't going to actually follow up with you and attempt to hold your feet to the fire. They like/love you no matter what size you are so they aren't going to make your weight loss their personal hill to die on or say anything that could cause a fight to jeopardize a good relationship.8
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@HoneyBadger302 why not just ask the friend who posted it? Also, are you sure this friend isn't working on their weight or lifestyle in some way? Or is this someone you're with 24/7 and know these things for sure? Just curious, not being confrontational.2
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why do you care to get bothered by what anonymous people think/post on social media? FOCUS ON YOURSELF. No one cares about you except family/relatives/maybe close friends. I only focus what I am now and will be VERSUS what I was. I don't care what people think on myfitnesspal forums (let's face it, many of the folks here are spend their entire lives on it everyday, that CAN'T be good), social media, etc.4
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I know people who post healthy, small, vegan, gourmet, (or whatever) meals who don’t eat that way all the time. I post pictures of my dogs doing cute things, not eating poop or humping each other.
Yeah, it’s sometimes sort of grating when reality and representation clash on social media, but that’s pretty much always the case.
Maybe those folks OP mentions suspect people who claim to be friends/friendly are judging their eating choices because of their weight, which influences what food photos they choose to share. Maybe also trying to develop more healthy habits.5 -
I used to eat a very small lunch. Then a candy bar at 2:00, a bag of cookies at 3:00, a light lunch with the family about 4:00, another snack about 6:00, supper about 9:00, as well as 3 3-liter cokes a day. Guess why I weighed so much! I don’t think that’s unusual for heavy people,
Just sharing their day.1
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