I wish I didn't have to eat.

I have a feeling I've read this before... did you already post one or two very similar threads last year?
I'm really sorry to read this. I hope you find some peace and a more positive mindset. Have you sought out some professional help?

Agree with making this harder than it has to be. There must be lots of substitutions 'out there' for foods you like that aren't complete diet breakers? This process, in theory, is easy, while practicing it is challenging. I've tortured myself in the past by allowing certain foods in the house, by allowing myself to return to my bingeing habits for no good reason. By eating everything and anything, way past the point of enjoying or probably even tasting the food I'm packing away.

"So many years of eating food I hate, reading food labels, avoiding social gatherings were junk food is, and trying to work and sleep while I'm starving. "

This part I quoted from your post, tells me you're tired of this way of losing weight. But I think you're torturing yourself for no reason. Not to sound snarky which I hope I don't. But there are definitely resolutions to all these issues.
1. DON'T eat foods you hate. No need to. Just don't fill your eating style to the max with foods that got you to that place originally. Think healthy enjoyable substitutes.
2. I admit to hardly ever reading food labels. I simply buy fresh foods, lean meats, nonfat dairy products and occasionally lite bread, etc. I mostly stay away from many canned items, bakery aisles, etc. and junk food type products(yeh those Little Debbies at the end of that aisle, walk way far away)
3. Ok, I'm definitely not a social creature to begin with, but when there is a gathering and lots of food is available, try to load up on healthier foods(create a fancy veggie tray, fruit salad or charcuterie board or something) and only take tastes of other stuff. Last fall, I started with my stress eating and it lasted well into the holidays, unsurprisingly during Christmas was badbadbad, and gaining 20# was the true torture.
4. There's no reason why you should be attempting to sleep/eat while starving. Snack during work, before bed. A little bit goes a long way and it can add very healthy benefits into your diet.

I agree, at times, it can feel like torture but I keep future images in my head, thinking back to how it felt to be slim and active and not winded walking up stairs. I toss out the ideas of how good junk food tastes(to me that is). Being a child of the 50's-60's, we grew up on all the Kool-aid and Ding Dongs, always had to finish dinner if we wanted dessert, that type of thing. New times, new habits, being an adult and doing things our own way gives us such a freedom. Create habits you can enjoy and live with, please don't torture yourself.

Probably not looking for a long-winded reply on how to do it but a lot of my words also serve to remind myself to keep looking forward, not give up and enjoy life. I remind myself often, eat to live, not live to eat.
Take care!!

I'm sorry you are feeling this way! During my diet adventure I have also found plenty of foods I do not enjoy, but I try them once and move on. I have also found plenty of foods I DO enjoy and I continue to buy/cook them. Don't force yourself to eat things you aren't enjoying.

Your post gives me concern that you are depressed and it may be worth taking a step back and consulting with a professional. There is absolutely no shame in this and if it is for your own well-being, it is worth exploring!

It's something that I have to remind myself of from time to time by my current WoE isn't a diet since "diet" equates something short term in my head. I have lists of things I don't eat from a health perspective but along the way I've tried a lot of new things. I've like some and others meh...

One thing that really helps me is how I feel in terms of what I am eating. There are things like wheat and sugar that directly affect my health but that doesn't close off other foods that I like, leave me satiated, and make me feel better. I was never been a big fan of broccoli but seasoned right and steamed with a little olive oil I really like it these days. The internet is full of recipes for foods on my list of things I eat so its always worth trying something new.

I don't avoid social gatherings even though I am an introvert. I just set myself up so I don't have to partake in what is being offered and explain to anyone why I am doing what I am doing. If you are hungry all the time then it might be time to re-evaluate what you are eating and look at finding satiating replacements. My wife is vegan and eats a lot of fiber and carbs and this works well for her. I am not vegan but I eat a lot of fiber plus other LCHF options and that works for me. We are on two different sides of the spectrum working towards better health although most of my meals are vegan based at home. So you have to find out what works for you and is tenable. It's OK to take a step back and look at your WoE and adjust as needed.

Learning to cook things I enjoy really helps me to stay within reasonable calories.
I often go over by a lot - I log it and move on.
I've been where you are - restricting and demonising food groups and being hungry all the time yet wanting to weigh / look a certain way.
It's a horrible place to be.
Maybe look for some help regarding your issues around food and find out as much information as you can yourself so you can understand it better.

Ah now I remember your other posts.

Have you ever found support from people who are challenged by the same thing?

I have a hard time understanding your issues because I'm the exact opposite. And maybe that's why you're not getting the help you're seeking? IDK. Most people(or at least everybody I know) do enjoy food, it's the indulging too much of it that's an issue, not lack of interest entirely. Keep searching because there must be others that are challenged by the same thing or can at least understand better.
Good luck!!

I am a “live to eat” person and I love cooking, but for me the key to retraining my brain was to find something I enjoy and eat that every day. It’s takes the work and stress out of planning. I make a smoothie with 1/2 frozen banana, 1/4 c frozen blueberries, a cup of frozen kale (you honestly don’t taste it!), 1 c low-fat milk, 1/8 cup bran buds and a scoop of vanilla protein powder. I look forward to this for breakfast every day.

For lunch I make a bowl of 4 oz chicken breast, 1/2 cup rice, some red or yellow bell pepper. Once that’s hot I add salsa and 1/4 c low-fat cottage cheese.

I have a protein bar for a snack, then for dinner 4-5 oz lean beef fillet or pork tenderloin and 100g sweet potato. This is my day. Everything can be prepped in advance and tucked into the freezer. Because I am only eating things I enjoy, I feel satisfied. Because I’m eating lots of protein, I’m never hungry. I don’t eat what I don’t like and my eating is on auto pilot. I do go out with friends and enjoy an evening off once in a while. I’m trying not to rush weight loss, rather create new habits that will naturally lead to healthier eating. In doing so I’m losing, slow and steady. For me this is the closest I can get to a “food pill”. I wish you good health ❤️

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I really sympathize with your situation, please, think about professional help

Tiptoetherat wrote: »

@Sinisterbarbie1 Thanks for the insight

Pretty much if I don't starve myself I don't loose weight. Let me explain a bit more.

If I only eat 1500 cals or less a day, no cheat foods, no cheat meals, don't skip the gym, I might...MIGHT loose a pound that week, maybe two. The end result is I feel hungry 24/7 , I hate everything I eat, I loose lots of muscle, etc...

If I eat a cheat meal, even a small one, I can gain back 2 to 5 pounds, and thus ruin a months worth of work.

Ive been doing this for over 10 years now, so I'm at the point were if I eat something and it tastes good I think "This must be bad for me...I better not eat it." If I go out with friends I won't order food just a diet soda or something because I can never find anything I want to eat at a restaurant. etc.

Now when I tell people (professionals and otherwise) I get a lot of people that tell me to "suck it up" and be more tough, learn will power etc.. I get lots of people that want to teach me how to cook, but even the smell of most foods makes me sick these days. The one that really gets me though is all the people that out and out tell me that I must be lying to them. They say things like "there is no way this food log is correct you must be eating junk food and not saying so!"

What do I eat when I do eat?? Egg whites, protein bars, mixed veggies, fruit, muscle milk, low carb wraps with tuna and spinach, etc. Things most people would say are good for you, but its all very terrible to me. For example I never liked tuna, I figured if I kept forcing it down I would atleast get used to it and stop hating it. Sadly this isnt the case.

So... at the moment I'm about to do another crash diet to loose more weight (Doctors orders). My fridge is full of food I don't want to eat and we will see how long I can make it last this time again. I HAVE reached out to local eat disorder groups but sadly that has not helped at all. Fact of the matter is I don't want to learn how to "love food again" or "fix my relationship with food" I just want to stop feeling hungry all the time, hit my goals, and not spend so many hours a day dealing with eating.

Yeah this sounds like a terrible way to live, so sorry you are feeling this way. Not sure if you are looking for advice, but if you are starving 24/7 on 1500 calories them maybe switch up the kinds of foods you are eating? Like higher volume lower calorie? I'm not sure if that would work for you - my problem is that I overeat whether I am hungry or not, so can't really fathom being hungry 24/7 tbh, I have never experienced that.
If you don't want to "deal with eating" then it might work to meal plan and it basically the same things every day. Like make a 1500 calorie plan that is satiating enough, and then just eat that, taking the stress out of daily planning. Too much variety and choice can be overwhelming.

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I'm not going to tell you to "toughen up" or change your whole orientation, but I have questions/comments about a couple of your specific points. I hope that's OK. Like others, I'd truly like to be able to help, but I agree that this is a tough situation.

Tiptoetherat wrote: »

Ok, first and foremost I need to say thankyou for all the effort I see in the replies. Its...well... its nice, thanks everyone.

I guess, I feel the need to elaborate a bit more.

"You should see a professional"

On this I agree, its just that I have not found one that seems to help. I have seen people for both the physical and mental sides of this. I honestly get the feeling that they are not listening to me when I talk to them. I say I hate food and the VERY NEXT thing so many of them do is ask me for a list of foods I like so they can teach me how to cook. I have been put on a few medications to try and level my head, curb my appetite, etc. Not only have they not worked, some of them actually made things worse, contrave for example made my hunger much worse. Its soured me on looking for help to say the least, not that I have given up its just going to be hard for me to put much trust in another professional.

"Why are you doing the same thing over and over?"

Its the only thing that has ever worked for me, Ive lost over 60 pounds this way. Its not that I want the calorie count to be so low, after years of doing this, that is the tipping point for me. I don't want to spend so much time in the gym, I have to or the scale doesn't move. Nothing else seems to work and I have spent years trying to find something else that does. I don't want to live like this anymore, I just don't know what else to do, I'm not even sure what it would mean to "give up" at this point. Its not like I would enjoy eating tomorrow if I said F*** my health and weight.

"Its impossible to..."

I have heard this so many times about so many of my issues. I guess I don't know what to say at this point, if I do action "X" then I get "X" result. Eat a cheat meal?? All progress gone. Eat out with friends? Gain 3 pounds. Skip the gym one day? Don't loose any weight that week. A close relative to this is all the times people have accused me of lying. No one has done that here, but that's what I often get when I show people my food logs or gym routine.

What kind of time horizon are you talking about here? Reason I'm asking (begging your patience with a long-ish background explanation):

I'm a non-big woman 5'5", 120s pounds, age 66. My gross calorie intake with normal exercise for maintenance is 2000-2500 calories. Occasionally, I do enjoy an indulgent day, and that may be in the range of 2-3 times my maintenance calories. (Quick note: I'm not saying you ever do that. Most people don't, probably.) I also log my weight daily, have done so for well over a decade, even when not trying to lose weight.

So, if I have a indulgent eating day (I don't call them "cheat days" because they're intentional, in my general plan), even if it's only a few hundred over maintenance calories, I will see a multi-pound scale jump the next day, and it will hang around in whole or part, routinely for maybe up to a week, occasionally more. Ditto for eating out, if the meal is higher sodium/carbs than my usual, even it it's calorie-appropriate. Skipping exercise is weirder, for me: I may gain or lose scale weight, depending on the situation; and it may reverse fast or gradually (multi-day), depending on what comes next.

So, I don't think you're lying, but I'm wondering if you may be a person who has more dramatic water-weight swings, maybe ones that are more persistent, compared to the average person. Anecdotes on threads here suggest that some people have longer-lasting water retention from unusual eating/exercise than others do. Also, we do see people here - again I'm not saying you are one for sure - who react to their individual relatively big, dramatic water weight shifts as if they were fat gain/loss, when they actually aren't.

In my personal experience, and in the evolving experience of some of those people if we can get them to go back to reasonable habits and exercise patience for a week or two, the longer run average body weight trend (multi-week) tends to track with calorie intake. Day to day scale weight absolutely doesn't.

"Why are you forcing yourself to eat foods you don't like?"

I NEVER enjoyed healthy food, ever. There is no making it OK or dressing it up to make it at least tolerable. A lot of people can dive into a tuna and spinach wrap, add some seasoning, maybe a mango salsa and get get the best of both worlds. I can't. I USED to enjoy junk/bad foods, but after years of fighting food I don't like that anymore either. I out and out resent that I have to eat these days. So the choice is food that is bad tasting, worse tasting, or just skipping a meal and dealing with hunger.

"you say you are disappointed by weight loss of 1-2 pounds a week. That is the maximum sustainable weight loss recommended for anyone. You say you are achieving that at 1500 calories. I don’t know how much you exercise or your height or weight, but that may be an aggressive long term target for you to maintain."

I'm 6 foot 3 and right now I'm at 205 pounds. So... I'll need to loose another 15 to be at my goal weight. The reason I'm upset by the one pound a week loss is that I SHOULD be loosing 3 plus pounds a week with how extreme I'm going. I feel like I'm putting in the work and then some...for not much reward. Furthermore one or two days off the plan and the weight comes right back and then some. To put it another way, if you imagine in your head what a guy looks like that eats food he hates all day, does extreme calorie cutting, hits the gym 5 days a week. Can you see him? He doesn't look like me.

I'm sure you know if you were losing 3 pounds a week, that would be a high health risk situation, given your current height/weight and amount left to lose. I understand that you aren't losing that fast.

I wonder if your history includes bouts of extreme calorie cutting and exercise, maybe yo-yos in weight over the years. I feel like there are some hints of that possibility in your comments. Again, not sure, not accusing you of something. I'm just mulling.

If those things have happened, adaptive thermogenesis may be part of your picture, depressing your calorie expenditure (in subtle ways). There is a good thread here explaining that in a scientific way (not the "starvation mode" nonsense). If you haven't read it, it might be worth considering.

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1077746/starvation-mode-adaptive-thermogenesis-and-weight-loss/p1

The potentially-useful information spreads over the first several posts in that thread (the initial few written by the thread's OP).

I want to say more but I think I need to stop it here, I'm already being too negative, and DAMN is this one long. So, I will end it on a positive note.


I know I already said thanks for the time people have put into the replies but I will say thanks again. SO MANY people on other sites have told me to "toughen up!!" or "Quit if its too hard for you!" and much much worse. You folks atleast WANT to help and I can honestly see some insight in some of the things said. Well done.

Personally, I do think nutrition is important, and do think adequate/non-excessive calories are part of nutrition (the foundation, really). I also think there's individual variation in calorie needs, sometimes to a surprising extent. Personal results (in the trend line more than the daily) can be indicative. Statistics suggest that being far from average in calorie needs is quite rare, but it can happen, either high or low. (I'm quite non-average myself, in that way, based on personal experience/results.)

However, I think the "must eat healthy food" message is often very oversold. Nutrition is more about overall intake, and how it adds up (calories, macros, micros). Which individual foods are the pieces of that puzzle can vary quite a lot. Common beliefs about "healthy food" vs. "bad foods" don't always hold up, IMO, on close examination.

I understand that you're now in a spot where neither so-called "healthy" or so-called "junk" food are appealing to you, and that's unfortunate, would be difficult. I guess, though, I'd encourage you not to let what I think of as more like "food religion" become a roadblock going forward. It's useful to get decent-ish overall nutrition, but if you can do that with foods that are relatively more tolerable to you, easier to prepare, whatever . . . that would be reasonable, IMO.

Sincere good wishes, for accomplishing your goals, both weight and subjective factors, as you go forward.