My sister thinks I'm not losing fast enough

As a quick background: I have been trying to lose since over a decade. But all I have done is gain weight. Now i have been stuck around 79kg - 82kg since the past few years. Every single time I start I think this is it and I'm going to crack it. Well after a few days when the weight doesn't come off fast enough I lose the motivation and just binge. ( I suffer from BED).
This time around, I told myself there is no time limit. No rush. And I feel like this has made the real difference. When I was stuck at 79 kg and was doing everything right and still gained, the only thing that kept me going was that there is no time limit. Do the right thing and the weight will come off. I hadn't gone lower than 79 kg in almost 2-3 years. And 2 days ago, I finally hit 78kg. That was such a relief. It made me believe in myself even more. It made me believe that I could do it this time.
Well today I talked to my sister, and shes trying to lose weight as well And she has more discipline than I do. She has lost weight before. She means the best. She doesn't mean bad so please don't bash her because I know her intentions. But she was a little disappointed at how slow the progress was that i was making. (The most recent update I gave her was 1kg lost in 2 months). Now I know that it was slow, but like I said, i gained in between, and also suffered with binging episodes in between. She joked about how 2 months from now my new update would be about losing another kg. And that in four months all I would have done is lost 2kg. Now it was a playful joke, not a mean one. But still, its gotten me down. Just because it already bothered me that this was going too slow, but I tried to keep going and focus on the positives, like finally hitting 78kg.
I have a long way to go still. My goal weight is under 59kg.

Note: My sister lives miles apart so we don't share every nitty gritty little detail about our weight loss journey, so she doesn't know about the struggle in between. I know i could tell her so she can gain a little perspective, but it's not about that.

Its about feeling down at how slow this journey is, and being 4 kg down, there's no visible difference yet and its just hard.

Replies

  • LiveOnceBeHappy
    LiveOnceBeHappy Posts: 350 Member
    edited May 2
    This is your journey, not your sister's. You should be able to have your path and not have to worry about her progress, and she doesn't need to worry about yours! No need to be down!

    And you said, "She has lost weight before." This tells me she's doing it AGAIN. It didn't stick for her. You're doing fine!
  • Lietchi
    Lietchi Posts: 4,654 Member
    PS: to put your losses in perspective...

    Even if you can't see the difference, it does make a difference. You've lost nearly two of these blobs!

    k8va9olzajov.jpg
  • Dobbythefreelef
    Dobbythefreelef Posts: 30 Member
    Forgive me in advance for being American, please but...

    4kg is 8.8 lbs, that's a fair bit of weight!!

    Over 4 months that's 2.2 lbs per month or about .5 lbs per week... which is normal, healthy weight loss. It's even one of the more recommended settings on this app.

    I think... it sounds like your sister has bern very lucky to lose more swiftly, and possibly understands less about how weight loss works than you do.

    But even if I were being critical, your loss is nothing to scoff at.

    It's pretty awesome.

    And holding in there for so long without that "big number" motivation is HARD.

    Doing all of that after so many struggles while battling BED is so amazing. You have literally no idea how inspired I was by this.

    Please don't let yourself be discouraged by comparing your journey to others', or by that well-intentioned but still crappy tendency that other people have to make those comparisons.

    At the end of the day, you know how huge this progress is for you. And you're the only one who has to live in your body.

    Thankyou!
    I can't believe I inspired someone! That made me emotional! Thankyou so much for your comment! Definitely made me feel better!
  • Dobbythefreelef
    Dobbythefreelef Posts: 30 Member
    Lietchi wrote: »
    Your sister has lost weight before. That implies that she regained, and therefore needs to lose again. To me, that means she perhaps isn't the expert she thinks she is 😉

    Losing weight AND keeping it off implies changing your lifestyle and eating habits in a durable way. That is more likely to happen at a slower rate of loss, making gradual changes, than when you're racing to lose weight by any means possible and then 'going back to normal'. The latter is probably what your sister is doing when she is 'being disciplined'. But white knuckling weight loss is rarely a good idea. Much better is just aiming for overall consistency and not making weight loss harder than it should be (perfection isn't necessary for weight loss, nor is suffering).

    If this slow rate of loss is helping you tackle the issues that lead to your weight issues, I think it is an excellent strategy.

    I'm the 'queen' of slow weight loss myself: even while obese I chose a weight loss rate of 0.25kg per week (I didn't have BED to contend with, so it was easier for me to stay in a deficit). Where am I now? 75lbs down in 1000 days of logging. Slow? Sure. But faster than someone who races to lose weight quickly and then gains it all back with some extra kgs on top!

    HAHA! That *expert* part really made me laugh 😂
    Thankyou for sharing your journey. I feel lots better now!
  • Dobbythefreelef
    Dobbythefreelef Posts: 30 Member
    This is your journey, not your sister's. You should be able to have your path and not have to worry about her progress, and she doesn't need to worry about yours! No need to be down!

    And you said, "She has lost weight before." This tells me she's doing it AGAIN. It didn't stick for her. You're doing fine!

    Thankyou! Yes I am trying to focus on my journey only!
  • Dobbythefreelef
    Dobbythefreelef Posts: 30 Member
    Lietchi wrote: »
    PS: to put your losses in perspective...

    Even if you can't see the difference, it does make a difference. You've lost nearly two of these blobs!

    k8va9olzajov.jpg

    Wow. Thanks for this!!