Women in Menopause tips and support for these changing times
RubyRed427
Posts: 4,350 Member
I am just entering menopause and feel that my body has changed so radically despite a decent diet and lots of exercise. Nothing seems to help me lose the weight that I gained in this last year. I'd like to start a support group for women like me who just want to feel happy and positive despite the radical changes in hormonal level. I'm open to suggestions and help. Let's share our tips and knowledge about how to lose weight after you enter menopause.
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My experience with peri menopause was that it was a wild ride. I am finally done and I feel like I found myself again. It’s taking me longer to lose the weight this time, but it is slowly coming off. You may want to look into supplements to help with some of the symptoms (consulting with your gyn of course).2
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Menopause didn't make much difference for me. As long as I stay active, I lose weight when I try. The bigger difference was when I was in my 40s and developed thyroid issues. Once I was medicated properly, I was able to lose weight again. It was hard for me to get doctors to take it seriously though. When I said I was gaining weight for no reason, they said, "You're over 40, what do you expect?" I knew that was the wrong answer. If you're less active, with kids grown and a more sedentary job, you'll gain weight. But if you make a practice of being active and watching what you eat, age doesn't necessarily mean weight gain.9
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I entered menopause as a result of chemo 5+ years ago, so it happened all at once after my first chemo treatment. I experienced a lot of other wild symptoms that may or may not have been menopause related, the worst of which were ungodly night sweats and hot flashes. Part of that was likely chemo related because it has gotten a lot better. That coupled with the general malaise and fatigue of chemo and cancer slowed me down a lot and eventually after I finished my treatments I found myself on a wide variety of medicines and not feeling like myself. I gained a TON of weight. I was able to lose it all and more so there is nothing stopping one from being successful at weight loss in menopause, but I do think there are various non-metabolic things like hot flashes, insomnia, and fatigue, and at least in my case a fairly decent dose of depression, that can conspire to make you do things that are counterproductive to weight maintenance or weight loss until you sort out how to manage those issues.
I did not take estrogen supplements, though my oncologist says I could have because my cancer was not hormone driven. Depending on your breast and ovarian cancer risk profile it is something worth discussing with a knowledgable doctor if symptoms are terrible. I did take Venflexamine (an antidepressant) for a while which helped both with mood and night sweats/insomnia. It was weight neutral in the beginning, but after about a year when I was struggling with weight my weight loss doctor advised weaning off of it if I didn’t need it for mood.
Its all so delicate to manage … but you should definitely speak up to your doctor about whatever you are feeling. It is crazy that women suffer with period related issues for the first half of their adult lives and then menopausal issues at the peak/second half of their career and family lives. Setting aside any aesthetic and weight issues, we deserve to enjoy our lives and health to the fullest.4 -
I’m in peri, and young for it (early 40s). As @not_my_first_rodeo said, it is kind of wild. Currently, my biggest symptom (though by no means is it the only one) is less routine cycles (23 days one cycle, 48 the next, then back to 28), so I’m trying low dose birth control. So far (half a month into the hormones) it hasn’t helped—but my doctor warned me it could take a few months. (And also warned that it makes things worse for some people, so if it doesn’t get better, let her know. I only mention that in case someone else is in that boat.)
Right now, I’m in the middle of trying to slowly lower my maintenance zone. (Going into peri early has messed with my sense of identity and made me want to focus more on fitness and youth. The second factor is really just vanity—I want to look better to deny that I’m aging. The first factor means I have to lose very slowly, because I’m enjoying focusing a lot on physical activity and that requires fuel!) The slow loss plus the no-longer predictable menstrual bloating (which I think has gotten more extreme in addition to lasting longer and showing up unpredictably), means that I don’t have an easily identifiable weight trend. I rely on a trending app, and I also note the low weight for the month (as suggested by a poster in another thread), which helps me see that I really have lost almost 2 pounds in a month, it just doesn’t feel like it because the water weight swings are getting more extreme. So, i don’t think it has slowed down weight loss at all for me, just made it more annoying to monitor.
I’ve also almost eliminated alcohol—it makes everything worse. For example, I almost only have night sweats after having a drink in the evening. (The “Sobriety Matters” thread has been a huge help in normalizing that for me. I haven’t participated there, but lurking has been really helpful!)
The other thing I’ve noticed is that I’m reluctant to talk about this with friends, because I feel like I’m too young for this. I’m avoiding the topic, even though it’s having a real effect on my life at the moment. I don’t want to be seen as “old”. I don’t want to give people another reason to be dismissive of my opinions or feelings because of “hormones.” I’ve discussed it with my husband and my mom (both of whom have been great and not dismissive), but none of my girl friends that I’d usually share this kind of thing with. It’s a right of passage that I thought was a decade away, and it’s messing with my identity that it has showed up now. (Though I’m healthier and fitter for it, I think, because mortality is suddenly more real. Yay?)7 -
I finished my comment and realized I didn’t focus on your goal for this thread at all: being happy and sharing tips! I like your aim, because I think some of the suffering is absolutely my attitude toward being in peri more than peri itself. I guess my tips are: avoid alcohol, use a weight trending app, have some patience and a sense of humor, and (we’ll see if I follow my own advice here) maybe open up and discuss it with others. It’s been helpful just writing my earlier comment in response to your post, and seeing that makes me think maybe I should bring this up with (trusted) friends as well.4
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There are various online groups out there that I found helpful. A few on FB for instance. The hardest things for me were the hot flashes, the brain fog, and the insomnia. Being so tired meant exercise went out the window for me. I couldn't get estrogen because there's a family history of breast cancer, but I did take Black Cohosh and a few other things that helped alleviate some of the symptoms. Again, talk with your gynecologist about options. You'll want to develop good sleep hygiene habits to help mitigate the insomnia. Although to be honest, when the night sweats would occur nothing kept me asleep. During the peak of the pandemic, I think I took my temperature more times then I had my entire life (despite feeling like you're on fire in the middle of a hot flash you won't have a temperature).
I'd also suggest cutting back/cutting out caffeine because that will help with the hot flashes. Most of the foods they recommend you eat/don't eat are probably going to help with weight loss so that can mitigate things. For me, the insomnia was so bad it was extra hard to even do meal prep and that made it all so much worse.
The first few years, my cycle was all over the place so as <a href="https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/profile/1002663880/knotmel">knotmel</a> said that may mess with the bloating, etc. I was frank about what was going on with people, but I had to be. I was ripping off layers in winter and opening windows and people thought I was crazy. You'll find when/if you do discuss it, everyone has a different experience. I met women who skipped a period and then 365 days were done. It took me like 5-7 years to be done.1 -
Thanks everyone for your comments. I really appreciate it! I am learning more and more. For awhile, I was on a low dose of hormone replacement but decided to go off of them after one year. I think they helped a lot! I felt calm and was at a good weight overall. My hot flashes went away. Then, my insurance company said they would not pay for this hormone replacement anymore. So, my doctor and I decided I'd try without it. I have increased my alcohol intake which for sure has not helped my weight gain. Empty calories = belly fat. I know I must reduce those empty calories.
I have increased my exercise which I enjoy and find to be a great stress release.
At work, I find that my friends and I tend to snack in the afternoon- we're always saying "does anyone have chocolate?" I know that doesn't help. We are trying to cope with a very stressful job and chocolate helps us emotionally.
I think I'll just try low carb if possible during my meals. Carbs tend to linger on my curvy figure and make it curvier!
I've tried the Whole 30 in the past which was effective but narrows down your food choices for a month. It's doable just takes diligence.
I do know some ladies have mentioned taking the supplement black cohosh for meno symptoms.
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I don't think anyone's asked this yet but in the time you couldn't lose weight and you were eating healthy and exercising, were you also counting calories?
(I'm one of those whose peri menopause days were fairly easy going.)0 -
I don't think anyone's asked this yet but in the time you couldn't lose weight and you were eating healthy and exercising, were you also counting calories?
(I'm one of those whose peri menopause days were fairly easy going.)
I was not counting calories. But I have just started counting a week ago.0 -
I lost weight during perimenopause and am losing weight again during menopause. I gained much of my weight back during covid. Ugh. I don't think I had a more difficult time losing weight. We just have to make sure we continue to be active because it's very easy to get someone else to lug our groceries and carry boxes, etc - all which adds to the amount of calories we burn each day.
The worst for me were the hot flashes. They were so horrible. Black Cohosh worked for me, until it didn't anymore. I found 1 alcoholic drink to be a trigger along with even the smallest amount of stress. Now that I'm in menopause, I have much fewer flashes.1 -
I do agree with you. Alcohol can trigger menopause symptoms- especially hot flashes.
I have logged all my food this week and that is a good start. I also exercised a lot- elliptical, strength training classes, and a 13 mile bike ride. Hope the increased movement will also help.2 -
I am jumping on to agree with the alcohol makes night sweats worse comments, I don’t drink at all anymore and I don’t really have night sweats either anymore.
On the point about being in peri menopause early and not wanting to share with friends as a result, you will be surprised how many women go through menopause early for a variety of natural reasons like yours and ones like mine. You are not alone. Also the more we allow people to make us feel like freaks for having bodies that function like god intended them to the more we encourage the disrespect and ageism you (and I too) fear. In what world does it make sense that one’s brain cells dry up along with her ovaries?4 -
Sinisterbarbie1 wrote: »On the point about being in peri menopause early and not wanting to share with friends as a result, you will be surprised how many women go through menopause early for a variety of natural reasons like yours and ones like mine. You are not alone. Also the more we allow people to make us feel like freaks for having bodies that function like god intended them to the more we encourage the disrespect and ageism you (and I too) fear. In what world does it make sense that one’s brain cells dry up along with her ovaries?
I just wanna add to this. I decided when I started perimenopause that I would talk about it, and I have. This is a major change in our lives and why should we have to hide it? I don't even understand why it would make anyone uncomfortable.3 -
I want to comment but am afraid to share the things I have both seen, studied about and experienced due to the rigid mindsets of a lot of MFP users as well as society as a whole. I really just want to share without being argued with or harassed.
However, I feel it is good to share anyway and want to only give information that is worth the effort.
There are several things that I do not eat anymore that made a world of difference. The biggest is dairy. Cheese, milk, yogurt. I also gave up poultry and meat and am plant based. I also added some things that also made a world of difference. Dark leafy greens, non-GMO tofu, tempeh, nuts, seeds and lots of vegetables.
Exercise. Weight training or any resistance exercise is crucial now more than ever. Cardiovascular as well. We are in the stage that bone, muscle and strength loss as well as heart health should be top priority.
Happiness- positive mindset is also vitally helpful.
I went through it already. I am 50.
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I'm 55 and still not in menopause. I don't have hot flashes but I am always hot. Apparently antidepressants like Cymbalta can help with that. I upped my dose to 30 mg, to no avail. Gabapentin is supposed to help with night sweats, and does in fact help a family member. I'm taking 200 mg and it does not seem to help. This info might help someone else though
I lost almost 40 pounds last year (at age 54) fairly painlessly. I just had to find a way of eating that filled me up the best for the least calories.
Additionally, each day I try to always earn around 400-500 exercise calories and eat most of them back. Exercise is also critical for me to manage normal stress, and normal-for-me depression and anxiety.
I have been dealing with a toxic family situation for about 6 months now and between that and last winter's holidays regained about 10 pounds.
My WOE for losing weight is certainly not my WOE for self medicating for stress
I'm a veteran and my vet center participates in OmPractice - I have tons of yoga, tai chi, meditation, etc., classes available to me for free: https://app.ompractice.com/veteransaffairs5 -
I'm 48 and I've been in peri for about 3-4 years now. As long as I keep tracking and logging, I haven't noticed much difference in my weight loss. I've been (mostly) in maintenance for several years now, just fighting a few vanity pounds after each vacation/holiday. My biggest issues are the hot flashes and the brain fog. I started a new job last month and the brain fog is making it hard to navigate the new environment. Like, I've got 25 years experience in my field, but I feel completely clueless when my manager asks me to do something!
As for the hot flashes, I can't figure out my triggers. I've had them horribly the last few days, but I've also been taking medicine for a sinus infection and its very high in sodium, so that could be one. It seems like we all have different triggers. I tend to get them after I wash my hair (???) and when I'm on the phone (stress?), but I haven't found anything else consistent.
Oh, I went through a two-month period where I just stopped needing as much sleep. Like, I was getting 5-6 hours a night and felt fine. I've gone back to my usual 8-9 since then, but I really have no explanation for why that happened. I was going to bed at my usual time, but I kept waking up early, ready to go. <shrug>2 -
I'm 58 (almost 59) and have been in a combination of peri and menopause since age 48. Can't use periods as a benchmark as I had a hysterectomy at age 33. All I know is I've spent the last 10 years with night sweats, insomnia, hot flashes and an overall intolerance to heat. I used to be one of those people who was always cold when no one else was, now I have two fans going almost nonstop in my office. I've had a few hot flashes that were so intense I've fainted.
My struggle (all my life, not just now) has been more with keeping weight on rather than losing it so I can't speak to that aspect. Stress has a tendency to melt weight off me and I have more of that going on now than in my younger years.
So age 48 was my wake-up call and I started resistance training to preserve bone density. Even so, I watched my body composition change drastically over the next year or so, it was like what little muscle I had just evaporated. I increased my protein intake and took up weight lifting. I've managed to build muscle, more than I had as a younger woman in fact, but just learned that I do have quite severe osteoporosis already.
Sleep deprivation tends to make me crankier than usual and I have physical anxiety without mental anxiety symptoms. What I mean by that is a constant feeling of heightened adrenaline, like a 33 rpm record being played at 45 rpm (we should all be old enough to understand that reference, lol). It's disconcerting and annoying. I am never calm or relaxed, always jittery. I drink no alcohol and gave up caffeine roughly 12 years ago so I can't blame that. I have a friend who will sometimes give me a few of her Ativan and I'll occasionally take one just to feel normal again.
My doctor doesn't believe in "treating" menopause so I'm stuck like this. Back in the early years I tried the herbal remedies but was either allergic to them (I have a lot of plant allergies) or they were ineffective and useless.2 -
I want to comment but am afraid to share the things I have both seen, studied about and experienced due to the rigid mindsets of a lot of MFP users as well as society as a whole. I really just want to share without being argued with or harassed.
However, I feel it is good to share anyway and want to only give information that is worth the effort.
There are several things that I do not eat anymore that made a world of difference. The biggest is dairy. Cheese, milk, yogurt. I also gave up poultry and meat and am plant based. I also added some things that also made a world of difference. Dark leafy greens, non-GMO tofu, tempeh, nuts, seeds and lots of vegetables.
Exercise. Weight training or any resistance exercise is crucial now more than ever. Cardiovascular as well. We are in the stage that bone, muscle and strength loss as well as heart health should be top priority.
Happiness- positive mindset is also vitally helpful.
I went through it already. I am 50.
I agree that this can be a divisive topic. I became plant based 3.5 years ago. When I dropped the dairy it was amazing for me. I stopped getting migraines that had plagued me since a teen and my skin became so much nicer. This is obviously an anecdote and I'm not saying this would happen for everyone.
Also being plant based in general gave me so much energy, it was just amazing. I obviously eat a lot of carbs and lost 10s of pounds eating this way. I also gained weight eating this way. Calories always matter.
The one thing I cannot say is that being plant based affected my menopause symptoms. My hot flashes were hell before and hell after. I've recently stopped consuming caffeine as an experiment and my hot flashes seem to be less severe. Maybe, for me, alcohol and caffeine were the two things that have made a big difference.
Seems that we all do have things that help or things that make symptoms worse.4 -
Here's another little tidbit. My friend tells me her (stoic German still very physically active) mother, who is in her late 80s now, has never been able to stop taking whatever herbal supplement she takes (might be black cohosh) because if she does her hot flashes will resume.
I can't imagine another 30 years of this.3 -
Here's another little tidbit. My friend tells me her (stoic German still very physically active) mother, who is in her late 80s now, has never been able to stop taking whatever herbal supplement she takes (might be black cohosh) because if she does her hot flashes will resume.
I can't imagine another 30 years of this.
FWIW, my hot flashes subsided gradually over time, while doing nothing explicit to cause that. (I've been in menopause for over 20 years now.)
Like many people with my health history, I took anti-estrogen drugs (a couple types, total of 7.5 years). Those tend to cause worse flashes and other menopausal symptoms, for most people. Even then - based on many conversations in my support group - most (not all) women on those drugs experience reductions in hot flashes with time, even while still taking the drugs. I've been off the drugs for a long time, still have the occasional hot flash (not anything I had before menopause), but it's really quite rare.
Based on that, it seems like 30 years of consistent hot flashes wouldn't be the statistically most probable experience, but I'm guessing. I wonder if going off the herbal supplement destabilizes a steady state, but symptoms would decline if she didn't go back on it?
Personally, I never took black cohosh (or other phytoestrogens) during the more acute hot flashes (or other symptoms) phase, because back then it was unclear whether phytoestrogens would feed growth of estrogen-receptor-positive breast cancer cells, or not. At this point, after more research, the answer seem to be "not". HRT of any type is completely out of the question for me, though.
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Thank you friends! All of this information is very helpful!
I am happy you felt free to speak about your plant based diet. Studies do show that is a very healthy way to live! I try to do meatless Mondays; the guy who cuts my hair says it can even take a year to change from carnivore to vegetarian or vegan. He suggests making small changes like one meal a day plant based and things like that.
I find that when I am stressed, my hot flashes increase. I start sweating like crazy! Sometimes, I do a five minute meditation in the morning before getting out of bed to set a positive intention.
Thanks again for all your posts! I am learning a lot from you!2 -
It's nice to see everyone sharing. There are a dizzying range of symptoms.
Here were mine:- shorter cycle: consistent 28 day cycle went to 23 day cycle in early 50's. Also elevated TSH.
- temp regulation: I'm also one of those people who always felt cold when others didn't, and I experienced cold flashes before I had hot flashes. It was like I just couldn't get my core temperature up for ~an hour. They weren't too frequent but pretty memorable. My hot flashes aren't bad -- really quick and not super intense. Usually when I'm waking (also when my heart rate rises).
- less sleep: I wake in the night more and don't fall asleep as reliably. TBH, I could take steps to improve my sleep hygiene. I still have caffeine every morning and alcohol on weekends.
- Last period: age 55. or so I thought.
- post-menopausal bleeding: I had what seemed a lot like a normal heavy-ish period 2 months after official menopause. GYN ordered some pretty damn unpleasant tests to find everything normal, no obvious cause. Then I read in NYT that reproductive systems are really responsive to immune systems, and women experienced weird menstrual stuff after COVID vaccines. My rogue period was 4 months after my 2nd mRNA shot. Related? Who knows. That was a year and one month ago, and no weirdness since.
- body weight: I noticed no difference here. I "intuitively" eat a little more than I need to maintain at my desired weight, so if I am not making an effort to eat the right amount, I will gain. That didn't change at all during/after peri.
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I find I get hot flashes when I eat a lot of delicious bready carbs (dinner rolls and pasta, for example) so I can’t over-indulge in those, lest I pay the price. Sometimes I get full-on PMS, increased hunger, tiredness, and then…. Where the hell is my period????? It’s no longer predictable and I’m afraid to wear light colored pants! So that’s a real pain. My mom was finally finished at age 57, so I’ve got at least 4 more years of this!1
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I'm 50 and have been in perimenopause for about 5-7 years now. I have had horrid hot flashes and night sweats and had trouble sleeping. I am currently taking some supplements that greatly reduce these symptoms but find that I have to switch every 4-6 months because my body becomes accustomed to the formulation. It is what it is ... I have tried to not get frustrated with it.
I am not a good candidate to take low dose BC or even HRT due to pre-existing autoimmune issues. I would not take them anyway because at my age, they have risks including heart attack and stroke. Yeah, no thanks! I rather deal with the symptoms.
By far, the biggest issue has been my weight. The CICO method is not working for me so I have been playing with macros but I still have not found the "sweet spot" so to speak. I am not doing strict keto but have followed a lot of the principles. Right now, my macros are 35% protein, 35% fat and 30% carbs ... I initially lost 20 pounds late last year but I guess that I became less diligent about weighing food and reading food labels and gained 15 back. I have started again. I am discovering that this time though, and after recovering from COVID, I have a sensitivity to the sugar substitutes so that means I can't make keto desserts or eat keto bread. I can still have straight up monk fruit and stevia in drinks but not when it is mixed with Erythritol ... in the meantime, I will still work hard with my meal planning and just keep moving to burn calories! I have a feeling that before the year is out, I will rejoin my local gym and get a few training sessions with someone who is well versed in menopausal women.
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TBH, when I quit drinking alcohol, my hot flashes pretty much went away, and I lose weight much more easily. Generally sleep much better as well. I’ll be 52 in a couple months. Stupid period still comes right on time though 😡😂.3
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Carriehelene wrote: »TBH, when I quit drinking alcohol, my hot flashes pretty much went away, and I lose weight much more easily. Generally sleep much better as well. I’ll be 52 in a couple months. Stupid period still comes right on time though 😡😂.
As a non-drinker I only wish that solution was available to me! Hmmm... maybe I should take up drinking and it would work in reverse? 6 -
My weird sleep issue has come back. I go to bed around 11:00 or midnight and I am wide awake at 5:00 AM or so. After 40+ years of being a night owl who required 9+ hours of sleep a night. Not sure if it's menopause-related or not.
Also, I've done some experimenting lately and found that excessive sodium definitely correlates with my hot flashes. Additionally (apologies if I posted this previously. I've definitely got the brain fog!), if I have a couple of days of really bad hot flashes, they are frequently followed by a day or two of anxiety with no discernible cause. Like, mentally I will feel fine. Sometimes even downright fantastic, but my body keeps sending the fight-or-flight signals.5 -
50 here and have been in perimenopause for at least two years. My cycle is still totally regular, but for the last two years all of my period seems to come out in one day. I started staining the bed again! Haven’t done that since I was a teen.
The main symptom I have been having for the past nine months is servere insomnia. I have been trying every supplement under the Sun. I have moderate luck with Valerian and Skullcap herbs, and melatonin, but have recently added some amino acids to see if that helps. Oh and Accupuncture.
I found a good herbal supplement that I feel keeps my moods even and really helps with the night sweats. It is called Women’s Balance by Gaia. I take one at night, and I very rarely get night sweats. When I go off it they come back.
I recently started taking a powder supplement/drink at night too called PURE Just relax. It has helpful relaxing amino acids and Insitol, which is supposed to be hormone balancing. I do feel more energetic since taking it, maybe because my sleep is a bit better. Not perfect, but better.
I get plenty of exercise (1 1/2 hours a day in average) and follow all the common sleep hygiene advice. Still only get two or three solid nights rest (6-7 hours) a week, then some really bad nights each week (3-6 hours). The few days before my period, forget it, I may as well just stay up all night and not even try and sleep. I do use Emerita Progesterone cream per my doctor’s instructions but don’t notice a difference with my sleep or heavy periods.
Still trying to lose 30 pounds. When I consistently track, I usually do lose weight but it is slow going.4
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