Is marriage/monogamy dead?
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snowflake954 wrote: »TwitchyMagee wrote: »
I don’t believe in soulmates but I believe we make the best choices we can 😊snowflake954 wrote: »TwitchyMagee wrote: »Living well single is better than mediocre monogamy
In Italy they say "Meglio solo invece di mal accompaniato". Translated: "Better to be alone than in bad company".
However, if you are able to find your soulmate to share the ups and downs of life, it's a win-win.
ETA: but it’s more than that. For some people being alone is a joy so that even good company is just a variation rather than an enhancement.
The idea of a committed relationship being the culmination of something irritates me. Having monogamy and marriage being a goal seems twisted. Happiness comes in so many forms that the worn in ruts that so many people fall into seem not so much a choice as something they think they’re supposed to do
If you and another human choose monogamy and are happy with it that’s wonderful but I believe it should be a choice and not an expectation
What I have seen here (Italy) is that single is fine--until you get old and sick, especially without children. My husband saw so many people that are alone coming to him (his job includes estate planning) and had no one to care for them or leave their property to.
Aww that’s sad. I would think that the absence of a monogamous partner does not preclude being part of a vibrant & active community or family and it certainly shouldn’t keep people from building wealth to care for themselves & to give away.
Eta: I think also we need to remember the people who are childless and child free by choice. Those people seem to do very well in old age. I have numerous examples in my own life, including my children’s aunts & uncles.
PPS It just occurred to me also that we may be conflating having children with monogamous relationships and certainly the two are not the same and you can have either without the other.
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TwitchyMagee wrote: »snowflake954 wrote: »TwitchyMagee wrote: »
I don’t believe in soulmates but I believe we make the best choices we can 😊snowflake954 wrote: »TwitchyMagee wrote: »Living well single is better than mediocre monogamy
In Italy they say "Meglio solo invece di mal accompaniato". Translated: "Better to be alone than in bad company".
However, if you are able to find your soulmate to share the ups and downs of life, it's a win-win.
ETA: but it’s more than that. For some people being alone is a joy so that even good company is just a variation rather than an enhancement.
The idea of a committed relationship being the culmination of something irritates me. Having monogamy and marriage being a goal seems twisted. Happiness comes in so many forms that the worn in ruts that so many people fall into seem not so much a choice as something they think they’re supposed to do
If you and another human choose monogamy and are happy with it that’s wonderful but I believe it should be a choice and not an expectation
What I have seen here (Italy) is that single is fine--until you get old and sick, especially without children. My husband
saw so many people that are alone coming to him (his job includes estate planning) and had no one to care for them or leave their property to.
Aww that’s sad. I would think that the absence of a monogamous partner does not preclude being part of a vibrant & active community or family and it certainly shouldn’t keep people from building wealth to care for themselves & to give away.
Eta: I think also we need to remember the people who are childless and child free by choice. Those people seem to do very well in old age. I have numerous examples in my own life, including my children’s aunts & uncles.
PPS It just occurred to me also that we may be conflating having children with monogamous relationships and certainly the two are not the same and you can have either without the other.
True--but at some point one could ask the children if they preferred a monogamous relationship for their parents.1 -
snowflake954 wrote: »TwitchyMagee wrote: »snowflake954 wrote: »TwitchyMagee wrote: »
I don’t believe in soulmates but I believe we make the best choices we can 😊snowflake954 wrote: »TwitchyMagee wrote: »Living well single is better than mediocre monogamy
In Italy they say "Meglio solo invece di mal accompaniato". Translated: "Better to be alone than in bad company".
However, if you are able to find your soulmate to share the ups and downs of life, it's a win-win.
ETA: but it’s more than that. For some people being alone is a joy so that even good company is just a variation rather than an enhancement.
The idea of a committed relationship being the culmination of something irritates me. Having monogamy and marriage being a goal seems twisted. Happiness comes in so many forms that the worn in ruts that so many people fall into seem not so much a choice as something they think they’re supposed to do
If you and another human choose monogamy and are happy with it that’s wonderful but I believe it should be a choice and not an expectation
What I have seen here (Italy) is that single is fine--until you get old and sick, especially without children. My husband saw so many people that are alone coming to him (his job includes estate planning) and had no one to care for them or leave their property to.
Aww that’s sad. I would think that the absence of a monogamous partner does not preclude being part of a vibrant & active community or family and it certainly shouldn’t keep people from building wealth to care for themselves & to give away.
Eta: I think also we need to remember the people who are childless and child free by choice. Those people seem to do very well in old age. I have numerous examples in my own life, including my children’s aunts & uncles.
PPS It just occurred to me also that we may be conflating having children with monogamous relationships and certainly the two are not the same and you can have either without the other.
True--but at some point one could ask the children if they preferred a monogamous
relationship for their parents.
Oh that’s interesting! In my mind I was comparing singlehood to monogamy because I have limited experience with other kinds of
relationships.
But I don’t think that I would ever ask my children what kind of relationship I should have. For one thing, it isn’t their relationship. And for another I wouldn’t put them in a position of having to make an adult decision.
That said, if I were in the position of being a single parent my personal choice, for their safety & stability, would be to remain single until they are grown. Other people disagree with this, but I believe the children are the priority
eta: thank you for the engaging conversation. It’s been a while for me😁2 -
TwitchyMagee wrote: »snowflake954 wrote: »TwitchyMagee wrote: »snowflake954 wrote: »TwitchyMagee wrote: »
I don’t believe in soulmates but I believe we make the best choices we can 😊snowflake954 wrote: »TwitchyMagee wrote: »Living well single is better than mediocre monogamy
In Italy they say "Meglio solo invece di mal accompaniato". Translated: "Better to be alone than in bad company".
However, if you are able to find your soulmate to share the ups and downs of life, it's a win-win.
ETA: but it’s more than that. For some people being alone is a joy so that even good company is just a variation rather than an enhancement.
The idea of a committed relationship being the culmination of something irritates me. Having monogamy and marriage being a goal seems twisted. Happiness comes in so many forms that the worn in ruts that so many people fall into seem not so much a choice as something they think they’re supposed to do
If you and another human choose monogamy and are happy with it that’s wonderful but I believe it should be a choice and not an expectation
What I have seen here (Italy) is that single is fine--until you get old and sick, especially without children. My husband saw so many people that are alone coming to him (his job includes estate planning) and had no one to care for them or leave their property to.
Aww that’s sad. I would think that the absence of a monogamous partner does not preclude being part of a vibrant & active community or family and it certainly shouldn’t keep people from building wealth to care for themselves & to give away.
Eta: I think also we need to remember the people who are childless and child free by choice. Those people seem to do very well in old age. I have numerous examples in my own life, including my children’s aunts & uncles.
PPS It just occurred to me also that we may be conflating having children with monogamous relationships and certainly the two are not the same and you can have either without the other.
True--but at some point one could ask the children if they preferred a monogamous
relationship for their parents.
Oh that’s interesting! In my mind I was comparing singlehood to monogamy because I have limited experience with other kinds of
relationships.
But I don’t think that I would ever ask my children what kind of relationship I should have. For one thing, it isn’t their relationship. And for another I wouldn’t put them in a position of having to make an adult decision.
That said, if I were in the position of being a single parent my personal choice, for their safety & stability, would be to remain single until they are grown. Other people disagree with this, but I believe the children are the priority
eta: thank you for the engaging conversation. It’s been a while for me😁
Yes, but do people ever listen to their children? It's eye-opening. Mine have very conservative values now that they are grown. After telling me how mean I was for years when I wouldn't let them do or have everything their friends did. I didn't say that the children should make the decision. However, believe me, they do have an opinion.1 -
snowflake954 wrote: »TwitchyMagee wrote: »snowflake954 wrote: »TwitchyMagee wrote: »snowflake954 wrote: »TwitchyMagee wrote: »
I don’t believe in soulmates but I believe we make the best choices we can 😊snowflake954 wrote: »TwitchyMagee wrote: »Living well single is better than mediocre monogamy
In Italy they say "Meglio solo invece di mal accompaniato". Translated: "Better to be alone than in bad company".
However, if you are able to find your soulmate to share the ups and downs of life, it's a win-win.
ETA: but it’s more than that. For some people being alone is a joy so that even good company is just a variation rather than an enhancement.
The idea of a committed relationship being the culmination of something irritates me. Having monogamy and marriage being a goal seems twisted. Happiness comes in so many forms that the worn in ruts that so many people fall into seem not so much a choice as something they think they’re supposed to do
If you and another human choose monogamy and are happy with it that’s wonderful but I believe it should be a choice and not an expectation
What I have seen here (Italy) is that single is fine--until you get old and sick, especially without children. My husband saw so many people that are alone coming to him (his job includes estate planning) and had no one to care for them or leave their property to.
Aww that’s sad. I would think that the absence of a monogamous partner does not preclude being part of a vibrant & active community or family and it certainly shouldn’t keep people from building wealth to care for themselves & to give away.
Eta: I think also we need to remember the people who are childless and child free by choice. Those people seem to do very well in old age. I have numerous examples in my own life, including my children’s aunts & uncles.
PPS It just occurred to me also that we may be conflating having children with monogamous relationships and certainly the two are not the same and you can have either without the other.
True--but at some point one could ask the children if they preferred a monogamous
relationship for their parents.
Oh that’s interesting! In my mind I was comparing singlehood to monogamy because I have limited experience with other kinds of
relationships.
But I don’t think that I would ever ask my children what kind of relationship I should have. For one thing, it isn’t their relationship. And for another I wouldn’t put them in a position of having to make an adult decision.
That said, if I were in the position of being a single parent my personal choice, for their safety & stability, would be to remain single until they are grown. Other people disagree with this, but I believe the children are the priority
eta: thank you for the engaging conversation. It’s been a while for me😁
Yes, but do people ever listen to their children? It's eye-opening. Mine have very conservative values now that they are grown. After telling me how mean I was for years when I wouldn't let
them do or have everything their friends did. I didn't say that the children should make the
decision. However, believe me, they do have an opinion.
Don’t they always 😂1 -
Peachesnstuff wrote: »ermengarde22 wrote: »Peachesnstuff wrote: »I'm a macaroni penguin, just haven't found my soul penguin.
I used to be human, but I couldn't find another faithful human
I'll stick with penguins bc I love to show affection, and birds are 90 percent faithful to their partners.
Besides, penguins aren't allowed in divorce court anyway
i’ll be your penguin
I have found my soul penguin. Monogamy is NOT dead! ♥️♥️
90% 🤣0 -
ElMeroKeeQue wrote: »No. But I do know a few people who are living a very open poly relationship and the primary two are about to get married. Way too complicated for me to see how and if they have kids but I also know someone who was born out of a poly relationship. I don’t know her well.
There’s enough data to say that the leading cause of divorce is marriage. But there’s not much to say the leading cause of lasting marriages and monogamous relationships. It’s pretty subjective.
Yeaa I'm hearing alot more about poly relationships, but I don't think everyone can do that, like you said it can get complicated. But hey whatever works for each individual0 -
Are you under the impression that marriages were happier and healthier at some point in the past?
If so, I strongly recommend that you read up about the history of monogamous marriage in the western world. It's a pretty messed up history actually.
Most relationships are not built to last forever, and that's okay. The benefit now is that people have the ability to leave marriages that are not working, they aren't stuck in them until they die.
FTR, I'm very happily married and have been for years in a marriage that just keeps getting better over time. But this is a second marriage, so yeah, I have no problem seeing divorce and monogamy as totally compatible things. I'm in a tremendously committed, monogamous, wonderful marriage only because divorce is possible.
Just don't expect most relationships to last forever, and try not to see that as a bad thing. It's a good thing when relationships that should last end. It's also a WONDERFUL thing when people who are great together find ways to grow together through life's ups and downs.
Just expect that to be rare. Because it is. And it might take more than one try to get it right.
I'm not saying that relationships/marriage were better in the past. But I would say that people seemed to not give up so easily back then compared to now. With the coming of technology, I'd say that it has had a negative impact on the way we date and have relationships. The coming and going of relationships is a normal part of life, but we are living, in my opinion, in a society where we want instant gratification for everything. And if anything fails to gratify this society instantly, we give up on it. Perhaps it's my disillusionment with my generation, idk my 2 cents. Congratulations on your happy marriage
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Happy to hear about all these happy marriages! Some faith in humanity restored1
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I’m married and so are the majority of my friends. I believe in God and that marriage and being faithful are what God wants.
It does seem like a lot of people nowadays don’t value it anymore though. People are into instant gratification and being lazy.4 -
Nooshi! It’s good to see you. I’m so glad to hear you’re happily married. Congratulations! I hope your fluffers are good too 😊I’m married and so are the majority of my friends. I believe in God and that marriage and being faithful are what God wants.
It does seem like a lot of people nowadays don’t value it anymore though. People are into instant gratification and being lazy.
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Just fyi The divorce rate has been steady for a long time nowAre you under the impression that marriages were happier and healthier at some point in the past?
If so, I strongly recommend that you read up about the history of monogamous marriage in the western world. It's a pretty messed up history actually.
Most relationships are not built to last forever, and that's okay. The benefit now is that people have the ability to leave marriages that are not working, they aren't stuck in them until they die.
FTR, I'm very happily married and have been for years in a marriage that just keeps getting better over time. But this is a second marriage, so yeah, I have no problem seeing divorce and monogamy as totally compatible things. I'm in a tremendously committed, monogamous, wonderful marriage only because divorce is possible.
Just don't expect most relationships to last forever, and try not to see that as a bad thing. It's a good thing when relationships that should last end. It's also a WONDERFUL thing when people who are great together find ways to grow together through life's ups and downs.
Just expect that to be rare. Because it is. And it might take more than one try to get it right.
I'm not saying that relationships/marriage were better in the past. But I would say that people seemed to not give up so easily back then compared to now. With the coming of technology, I'd say that it has had a negative impact on the way we date and have relationships. The coming and going of relationships is a normal part of life, but we are living, in my opinion, in a society where we want instant gratification for everything. And if anything fails to gratify this society instantly, we give up on it. Perhaps it's my
disillusionment with my generation, idk my 2 cents. Congratulations on your happy marriage
People stuck it out because they had fewer options. Women in particular had very few options financially speaking. If my grandmother could’ve left her abusive husband she would’ve. But people consider their marriage a success because they stayed together till he died. That is a poor measure of success. In my opinion, of course.
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TwitchyMagee wrote: »
Just fyi The divorce rate has been steady for a long time nowAre you under the impression that marriages were happier and healthier at some point in the past?
If so, I strongly recommend that you read up about the history of monogamous marriage in the western world. It's a pretty messed up history actually.
Most relationships are not built to last forever, and that's okay. The benefit now is that people have the ability to leave marriages that are not working, they aren't stuck in them until they die.
FTR, I'm very happily married and have been for years in a marriage that just keeps getting better over time. But this is a second marriage, so yeah, I have no problem seeing divorce and monogamy as totally compatible things. I'm in a tremendously committed, monogamous, wonderful marriage only because divorce is possible.
Just don't expect most relationships to last forever, and try not to see that as a bad thing. It's a good thing when relationships that should last end. It's also a WONDERFUL thing when people who are great together find ways to grow together through life's ups and downs.
Just expect that to be rare. Because it is. And it might take more than one try to get it right.
I'm not saying that relationships/marriage were better in the past. But I would say that people seemed to not give up so easily back then compared to now. With the coming of technology, I'd say that it has had a negative impact on the way we date and have relationships. The coming and going of relationships is a normal part of life, but we are living, in my opinion, in a society where we want instant gratification for everything. And if anything fails to gratify this society instantly, we give up on it. Perhaps it's my
disillusionment with my generation, idk my 2 cents. Congratulations on your happy marriage
People stuck it out because they had fewer options. Women in particular had very few options financially speaking. If my grandmother could’ve left her abusive husband she would’ve. But people consider their marriage a success because they stayed together till he died. That is a poor measure of success. In my opinion, of course.
I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother, no one should have to stay in a abusive relationship. That said, my opinion on this generation still stands1 -
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Thanks and I figured but could you clarify something for me? Which generation are you talking about? I figure it’s not boomers. So do you mean Gen X? Millennials? Gen Z? Alphas are probably too young to be included in the discussion. I promise not to belabor this but I am curious about this impression you haveTwitchyMagee wrote: »
Just fyi The divorce rate has been steady for a long time nowAre you under the impression that marriages were happier and healthier at some point in the past?
If so, I strongly recommend that you read up about the history of monogamous marriage in the western world. It's a pretty messed up history actually.
Most relationships are not built to last forever, and that's okay. The benefit now is that people have the ability to leave marriages that are not working, they aren't stuck in them until they die.
FTR, I'm very happily married and have been for years in a marriage that just keeps getting better over time. But this is a second marriage, so yeah, I have no problem seeing divorce and monogamy as totally compatible things. I'm in a tremendously committed, monogamous, wonderful marriage only because divorce is possible.
Just don't expect most relationships to last forever, and try not to see that as a bad thing. It's a good thing when relationships that should last end. It's also a WONDERFUL thing when people who are great together find ways to grow together through life's ups and downs.
Just expect that to be rare. Because it is. And it might take more than one try to get it right.
I'm not saying that relationships/marriage were better in the past. But I would say that people seemed to not give up so easily back then compared to now. With the coming of technology, I'd say that it has had a negative impact on the way we date and have relationships. The coming and going of relationships is a normal part of life, but we are living, in my opinion, in a society where we want instant gratification for everything. And if anything fails to gratify this society instantly, we give up on it. Perhaps it's my
disillusionment with my generation, idk my 2 cents. Congratulations on your happy marriage
People stuck it out because they had fewer options. Women in particular had very few options financially speaking. If my grandmother could’ve left her abusive husband she would’ve. But people consider their marriage a success because they stayed together till he died. That is a poor measure of success. In my opinion, of course.
I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother, no one
should have to stay in a abusive relationship. That said, my opinion on this generation still stands
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TwitchyMagee wrote: »
Thanks and I figured but could you clarify something for me? Which generation are you talking about? I figure it’s not boomers. So do you mean Gen X? Millennials? Gen Z? Alphas are probably too young to be included in the discussion. I promise not to belabor this but I am curious about this impression you haveTwitchyMagee wrote: »
Just fyi The divorce rate has been steady for a long time nowAre you under the impression that marriages were happier and healthier at some point in the past?
If so, I strongly recommend that you read up about the history of monogamous marriage in the western world. It's a pretty messed up history actually.
Most relationships are not built to last forever, and that's okay. The benefit now is that people have the ability to leave marriages that are not working, they aren't stuck in them until they die.
FTR, I'm very happily married and have been for years in a marriage that just keeps getting better over time. But this is a second marriage, so yeah, I have no problem seeing divorce and monogamy as totally compatible things. I'm in a tremendously committed, monogamous, wonderful marriage only because divorce is possible.
Just don't expect most relationships to last forever, and try not to see that as a bad thing. It's a good thing when relationships that should last end. It's also a WONDERFUL thing when people who are great together find ways to grow together through life's ups and downs.
Just expect that to be rare. Because it is. And it might take more than one try to get it right.
I'm not saying that relationships/marriage were better in the past. But I would say that people seemed to not give up so easily back then compared to now. With the coming of technology, I'd say that it has had a negative impact on the way we date and have relationships. The coming and going of relationships is a normal part of life, but we are living, in my opinion, in a society where we want instant gratification for everything. And if anything fails to gratify this society instantly, we give up on it. Perhaps it's my
disillusionment with my generation, idk my 2 cents. Congratulations on your happy marriage
People stuck it out because they had fewer options. Women in particular had very few options financially speaking. If my grandmother could’ve left her abusive husband she would’ve. But people consider their marriage a success because they stayed together till he died. That is a poor measure of success. In my opinion, of course.
I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother, no one
should have to stay in a abusive relationship. That said, my opinion on this generation still stands
Hmm maybe you can help answer that for me, I'm a 90s baby, would that make me a millennial? 🤔0 -
Mr. google says that millennials were born from 81 to 96 but I think the dates are a little bit arbitrary. So yes, if you are talking about your particular age bracket then I believe you’re talking specifically about millennials.TwitchyMagee wrote: »
Thanks and I figured but could you clarify something for me? Which generation are you talking about? I figure it’s not boomers. So do you mean Gen X? Millennials? Gen Z? Alphas are probably too young to be included in the discussion. I promise not to belabor this but I am curious about this impression you haveTwitchyMagee wrote: »
Just fyi The divorce rate has been steady for a long time nowAre you under the impression that marriages were happier and healthier at some point in the past?
If so, I strongly recommend that you read up about the history of monogamous marriage in the western world. It's a pretty messed up history actually.
Most relationships are not built to last forever, and that's okay. The benefit now is that people have the ability to leave marriages that are not working, they aren't stuck in them until they die.
FTR, I'm very happily married and have been for years in a marriage that just keeps getting better over time. But this is a second marriage, so yeah, I have no problem seeing divorce and monogamy as totally compatible things. I'm in a tremendously committed, monogamous, wonderful marriage only because divorce is possible.
Just don't expect most relationships to last forever, and try not to see that as a bad thing. It's a good thing when relationships that should last end. It's also a WONDERFUL thing when people who are great together find ways to grow together through life's ups and downs.
Just expect that to be rare. Because it is. And it might take more than one try to get it right.
I'm not saying that relationships/marriage were better in the past. But I would say that people seemed to not give up so easily back then compared to now. With the coming of technology, I'd say that it has had a negative impact on the way we date and have relationships. The coming and going of relationships is a normal part of life, but we are living, in my opinion, in a society where we want instant gratification for everything. And if anything fails to gratify this society instantly, we give up on it. Perhaps it's my
disillusionment with my generation, idk my 2 cents. Congratulations on your happy marriage
People stuck it out because they had fewer options. Women in particular had very few options financially speaking. If my grandmother could’ve left her abusive husband she would’ve. But people consider their marriage a success because they stayed together till he died. That is a poor measure of success. In my opinion, of course.
I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother, no one
should have to stay in a abusive relationship. That said, my opinion on this generation still stands
Hmm maybe you can help answer that for me, I'm a 90s baby, would that make me a millennial? 🤔
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snowflake954 wrote: »TwitchyMagee wrote: »Living well single is better than mediocre monogamy
In Italy they say "Meglio solo invece di mal accompaniato". Translated: "Better to be alone than in bad company".
However, if you are able to find your soulmate to share the ups and downs of life, it's a win-win.
I think the equivalent saying here is "Better to be single than to wish you were".
I know a surprisingly high number of people in apparently successful long-term marriages and only a couple of those are second marriages. So in my immediate surroundings marriage definitely isn't dead or outmoded. I'm older (59) so I'm part of a cohort that tended to view marriage as sort of a relationship goal. That thinking may be changing now.
I'm the oddball, married and divorced young, never remarried. At least never officially remarried, I've had a number of cohabitation relationships that would legally qualify as common-law marriages. I won't do the legal marriage thing again. For me, it feels hypocritical to say "til death do us part" or words to that effect for a second time when it clearly had no meaning the first time around.1 -
snowflake954 wrote: »TwitchyMagee wrote: »Living well single is better than mediocre monogamy
In Italy they say "Meglio solo invece di mal accompaniato". Translated: "Better to be alone than in bad company".
However, if you are able to find your soulmate to share the ups and downs of life, it's a win-win.
I think the equivalent saying here is "Better to be single than to wish you were".
I know a surprisingly high number of people in apparently successful long-term marriages and only a couple of those are second marriages. So in my immediate surroundings marriage definitely isn't dead or outmoded. I'm older (59) so I'm part of a cohort that tended to view marriage as sort of a relationship goal. That thinking may be changing now.
I'm the oddball, married and divorced young, never remarried. At least never officially remarried, I've had a number of cohabitation relationships that would legally qualify as common-law marriages. I won't do the legal marriage thing again. For me, it feels hypocritical to say "til death do us part" or words to that effect for a second time when it clearly had no meaning the first time around.
I’m feel the same way about the hypocrite thing and don’t foresee getting married again legally - but I’m not opposed to shackin up for life - my opinion may change as I get older but that’s where I’m at for now
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Are you under the impression that marriages were happier and healthier at some point in the past?
If so, I strongly recommend that you read up about the history of monogamous marriage in the western world. It's a pretty messed up history actually.
Most relationships are not built to last forever, and that's okay. The benefit now is that people have the ability to leave marriages that are not working, they aren't stuck in them until they die.
FTR, I'm very happily married and have been for years in a marriage that just keeps getting better over time. But this is a second marriage, so yeah, I have no problem seeing divorce and monogamy as totally compatible things. I'm in a tremendously committed, monogamous, wonderful marriage only because divorce is possible.
Just don't expect most relationships to last forever, and try not to see that as a bad thing. It's a good thing when relationships that should last end. It's also a WONDERFUL thing when people who are great together find ways to grow together through life's ups and downs.
Just expect that to be rare. Because it is. And it might take more than one try to get it right.
I'm not saying that relationships/marriage were better in the past. But I would say that people seemed to not give up so easily back then compared to now. With the coming of technology, I'd say that it has had a negative impact on the way we date and have relationships. The coming and going of relationships is a normal part of life, but we are living, in my opinion, in a society where we want instant gratification for everything. And if anything fails to gratify this society instantly, we give up on it. Perhaps it's my disillusionment with my generation, idk my 2 cents. Congratulations on your happy marriage [/quote]
The data shows that divorce rates among young people are actually dropping rapidly, which is likely because young people are slower and more careful to get married and tend to live with each other first.
Overall, the younger generation actually takes marriage more seriously because they know how easily marriage can end up in divorce, and they're not being pushed into getting married like they used to be.
In reality, marriage has become more romantic and more committed than it's ever been.
As to your point about dating, dating has always sucked, it's not just your generation. Dating when I was young was horrific, dehumanizing, humiliating, and just plain awful.
Yeah dating apps suck, but bars were pretty horrible as well. Any kind of dating meat market is going to be unpleasant and traumatic.
FTR, I mentor a lot of young people in their 20s and I hear the dating horror stories and I honestly would rather be single in this day and age than back when I was in my early 20s.
Dating wasn't better in the past. It just generally sucks.
That's why it's so awesome when you find your person and why it's so clear that you just want to be with them (or polyamorous, or whatever your ideal partnership looks like).
Many of us who are happily committed look back on being single, shudder, and then commit even harder to our partners, lol.
So we're not all happily married because finding a quality partner was easier for us, we're happily married because we learned the hard way how valuable it is when you do find that person.
Stay strong, dating sucks. Try to learn about *yourself* as much as possible through the process so that you can be your best self when you find a great person to partner with.
That may or may not last forever, but the better you know yourself, the more you will get out of it no matter how long it lasts.
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