why does the guy get to decide???

Personally, I think that's terrible. Will he not love you if you're too heavy as well? Maybe we should start adding "for fat or for thin" to our wedding vows?!

My suggestion would be to try taking the numbers out of it. Don't tell him where you're at as far as your weight and see how it goes. Maybe you'll get down to your goal weight and he'll still be happy because he doesn't realize that your goal weight is less than that "ideal number" he has in his head. As long as you're at a healthy weight, it might not even be an issue. It could just be that he has an idea in his head that your goal weight sounds too low? Not sure, just speculating. I would have to imagine your husband would want the best for your health, and being at a healthy weight is so much better for your heart and especially your joints - could you sell it to him that way? If not, just smack him up side the head and tell him if he doesn't love you the way you are, someone else will!

Seriously though, I hope you get through this. **hugs**

If you're hearing that, then you're with the wrong man, period.

It is not his decision... love is not about looks or weight... tell him to shut up or get out.

Oh but love is about looks. Deny it all you want, but looks is an important factor in beginning the process of falling in love.

Because he has an opinion, that is why!!! But it is just that. Take it for what it is and talk to him. He sounds like he would love you at the lesser weight just like he does now, but us men have to walk a thin line with our ladies because we don't want to hurt your feelings. Would you feel good if he told you that you are a fat *kitten* who needs to lose the weight. I think not. Now he is saying you are fine as you are and you are not happy with that. Talk to the guy and let him know where you are coming from, and come to a happy medium.

A man is entitled to be happy in the relationship too, and if that means you having to lose 10#s instead of 20, think about him. It may also be his insecurities, but that is where you have to walk a thin line to not hurt his feelings. Or you can just leave the *kitten* selfish son of a blowhard now...

I think husbands of significant others walk a very fine line of being supportive without seeming pushy. I think that concern about losing too much, or enough weight is best left to girlfriends. My husband would never tell me to stop losing or that he preferred me to be heavier or lighter ( because he values his life) but I work at a gym and my boss is also one of my closest friends, and she is the one who checks me on my weight and makes sure my goals are realistic, and I do the same for her.

If you're hearing that, then you're with the wrong man, period.

I disagree and find this very judgemental. Many wives ask for their husband's opinion and a man should be applauded if he's being honest. If he's demanding or getting angry at your weight management, okay, to that I see a problem, but I wouldn't kick a spouse to the curb because of their preferences, that's just stupid.

Perhaps a good approach is "I'd like to try weighing X, mind if I give it a try?" More than likely a person would be honored to be asked or as least give up and say "alright, go ahead". Who knows, the experiment may produce a better result. For me, I grew a gotee without permission. My wife said she didn't like it. After a few months I shaved it off and she said, "maybe you should grow the gotee back"

i don't think you're over reacting.my fiance is the same, he's also verrryy controlling!! even at 120lbs at 5'3, he said i was a fat *kitten* n' said i have to lose 20lbs. thats because i wear baggy clothes &they tend to make you look 10lbs bigger.i even showed him a pic of me where i lifted up a pink shirt up to my ribs [which i downloaded on my profile] and he was like 'ew, its still fat.' and my ex told me i was disgustingly thin [was 100lbs when i was with him, which is my main pic now]. soooo, some guys r *kitten* :] so, if he tells you that, u dont deserve him.i would've left my fiance if i wasn't in love with him :]

I agree I wouldn't let opinion override good judgement. If you know that you know, then surely stand firm and defend it. There is a difference also between being controlling and giving an opinion. Sometimes my opinions are misinterpreted as demands even though I use the words, "I think...", "maybe...", "...just my opinion", but I demand nothing.

What you're describing is a far cry from what the OP described.

I agree this is at the other end of the extreme spectrum.

i don't think you're over reacting.my fiance is the same, he's also verrryy controlling!! even at 120lbs at 5'3, he said i was a fat *kitten* n' said i have to lose 20lbs. thats because i wear baggy clothes &they tend to make you look 10lbs bigger.i even showed him a pic of me where i lifted up a pink shirt up to my ribs [which i downloaded on my profile] and he was like 'ew, its still fat.' and my ex told me i was disgustingly thin [was 100lbs when i was with him, which is my main pic now]. soooo, some guys r *kitten* :] so, if he tells you that, u dont deserve him.i would've left my fiance if i wasn't in love with him :]

I keep trying to think of how to reply to this in a PC way, and am finding it very difficult. Please, Please, Please, leave your fiance. You're 18, I promise you you will find someone who actually respects you and isn't controlling.

i don't think you're over reacting.my fiance is the same, he's also verrryy controlling!! even at 120lbs at 5'3, he said i was a fat *kitten* n' said i have to lose 20lbs. thats because i wear baggy clothes &they tend to make you look 10lbs bigger.i even showed him a pic of me where i lifted up a pink shirt up to my ribs [which i downloaded on my profile] and he was like 'ew, its still fat.' and my ex told me i was disgustingly thin [was 100lbs when i was with him, which is my main pic now]. soooo, some guys r *kitten* :] so, if he tells you that, u dont deserve him.i would've left my fiance if i wasn't in love with him :]

Sounds to me like you are with a douche bag and you have no self esteem. Looking at your profile, it makes me genuinely sad that you are so mistreated by this person, who you seem to put a lot of value in.

Best wishes.

i was just telling about my experience to let her know shes not the only one, even though my story is opposite from hers.
What you're describing is a far cry from what the OP described.

I agree this is at the other end of the extreme spectrum.