LESS Alcohol ~ JANUARY 2023 ~ One Day At A Time
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@mfowler883 - I hope today brings you more peace.
Yesterday was another AF day, but the one time so far that I came home from a crappy day at work and wanted to open a bottle - but I didn't. With tax season approaching, I have to figure out a better coping strategy. I started crocheting again... but I'm not finding that to "take off the edge". Maybe I need a punching bag!
-Georgia
AF Jan 1-188 -
So today started off same as the day after every other fight, tearful hugs and want to work on blah blah and sorry this and we need to that. I don't know how much I have left in me right now, I just feel so cold, distant and withdrawn, going through the motions but hard to feel emotionally invested. The business we have built depends completely upon both of us, neither of us could run it alone. We're in a precarious position where rent and bills and business overhead and life in general demand a certain level of income that neither of us could sustain individually. While she would apparently have no qualms about renting a truck and going back to Louisiana to her family, sabotaging the business and leaving me in a bind, I can't just walk without an exit plan, so I am forced to entertain this until I find a different way or something breaks or somehow we get through it. Do things get better? Or worse? My sister texted me back, worst case scenario I have someplace to go but I really don't want to play it out that way. I don't even know how I'd move myself much less all my stuff.
I killed roughly half of that pint of Weller I bought, slept like garbage but feel better than expected today. I had never even seen Weller in pints, I usually buy the big 1.75 liter bottle when I can find it.
Thanks for your ears and shoulders and kind words. I have no circle to speak of other than this these days. Old co-workers I thought of as friends drifted away, former bandmates only call to start up the band again (not gonna happen), fans only pretend to care when I'm on stage, other musicians talk a lot about supporting the scene but quickly forget about you if you aren't at their gigs, most family is caught up in their own little worlds, my old riding buddies don't keep in touch since my bike got stolen and I don't ride anymore and they've moved off to the 'burbs and started families...
Got my giant mug of dirty chai to get me through the morning. It starts with Oregon Chai sugar free, and a blend of Bustelo and Mariam coffee with cardamom, spiked with a shake of nutmeg and cinnamon. It gets a small splash of non-dairy creamer and a little Swerve brown sugar substitute, and a blend of almond milk and 1% run through the frother. It comes out pretty darned tasty, at least as good as any dirty chai I've gotten in a coffee house. Half tempted to add a splash of Weller but I don't guess I will. Stuff it in the closet and try to forget about it so I'll have it around to enjoy another night with a cigar or something.
-m10 -
@Womona I’ll try to post the link so you can feel my pain. She’s crying about a bad Google review (which calls her out on her antics and is 100% true but of course it’s not her fault) and actually replies to the review right there for all to see 🤦🏻♀️ lord help us
OMG. Sounds like she is actually illustrating the exact behavior in the criticism. So lame.
ETA:
@mfowler883 I found your morning after post most poignant. Hang in there. Your dirty chai sounds killer!
@dawnbgethealthy I'm vicariously skating through you so I, too, am really really hoping the ankle pain is unrelated and resolves really soon! Take it easy!! Fun fact: I broke my ankle at a skating mixer 1st year in college. Had an open reduction-internal fixation and another surgery 2 years later to take all the hardware out. Every guy I met at that fraternity for the rest of my college days claimed to have carried me that night (even guys who weren't even in college yet when it happened).
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Hello everyone
I have been a bit of MIA...always a work in progress for me
AF last night, Tuesday we did go out for 2 beer at lunch but then I was done for the day. I am still making my mocktails. I brewed some ginger/honey tea I will use tonight with some concoction or other.
@mfowler883 I am so sorry you are struggling with your relationship. I have been there, done that and for me it was a difficult period but I found I came out strong on the other side of the turmoil.
@MissMay I am not sure this 'job' is right unless you really go in and kick some backsides? LOL or maybe not.
I will check back in tomorrow and hope I have at least something compelling to read other than I stayed AF the night before6 -
like the idea to only drink out at events or with company but no need to drink with dinner every night.
AF now for about a week and plan to keep that up as best I can until 2/14 when we are in Napa. : )
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I blew it on day 18
. I bought 3 Bailey's mini's and drank them on an empty stomach, while on a diet. Very soon after, the room started spinning and I was violently sick. I had the "bed spins" when I wasn't even in bed yet!
I just poisoned myself and my body let me know it. Being AF for awhile, my system is no longer used to drinking. Being on a keto diet didn't help. Plus, I am getting old!
Feeling mad at myself. I just took a step-back for no good reason. Friday I will put my big girl pants back on and go back on the "AF" plan.14 -
@mfowler883 sending positive thoughts and wishes for better days ahead. Hope you introduce more things into your life that make you happy.
I struggle with course-correcting my own life. It takes energy and courage. But the times I did that, I did get myself out of a hole and into a better place.
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globalhiker wrote: »I blew it on day 18. I bought 3 Bailey's mini's and drank them on an empty stomach, while on a diet. Very soon after, the room started spinning and I was violently sick. I had the "bed spins" when I wasn't even in bed yet!
I just poisoned myself and my body let me know it. Being AF for awhile, my system is no longer used to drinking. Being on a keto diet didn't help. Plus, I am getting old!
Feeling mad at myself. I just took a step-back for no good reason. Friday I will put my big girl pants back on and go back on the "AF" plan.
But look how far you've come!! You have done 18 days Af and that is amazing!!!
I know it's disappointing to break the streak. I get that. Look forward, not back.
6 -
January accountability: 9 days AF
Alcohol: 10 days (26 drinks)
Goal: Limit 2 glasses per day; 20-25 AF days this month. I usually target 12-16 AF days each month which is usually a challenge … hitting 20 days since DH backed out of his dry January commitment is definitely influencing me to join him on weekdays I had not planned when setting the goal. Going for it anyway!
1/19 - 2.5 wine; Dining out with DH & friends
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Today has been....
....it started off busy as anything, hustle and grind and get through the day with not a lot of time to stop and think and feel and process. We spent the day more or less doing business as usual, acting like nothing's wrong. I don't know how to feel about that because none of the problems really went away, we're just brushing it aside to get through the day. It isn't that I want to fight, or that I want to even talk it out anymore, I just...
I don't know.
Not drinking like last night, but sipping on a small glass while I listen to some Peter Murphy and use a marlinspike & fid to dress down my first attempt at a Turk's head lanyard. One pass at the top end got tucked into a weird spot but it won't be visible when all the slack gets pulled out so I'm thinking it looks passable. Got a titanium bead between the Turk's head and the knife it's attached to, and a second at the other end, going to try to find a decorative stopper knot to capture that one. Yes, I find all sorts of weird and random little projects to keep my hands busy.
Maybe tomorrow will be AF.
-m6 -
@ahoy_m8
Great story about college and everyone claiming to have carried you and your broken ankle.
I enjoyed that : - )
Thanks for the thoughts about it not being the skating.
I had been promised a steroid "flare" during the first 48 hours after getting the injection, but nothing happened. Maybe the skating just triggered it to release some more to combat inflammation. Who knows. My ankle never bothers me in my hockey skates, they are very rigid so I don't think that it moves around too much.
No outdoor skating this year, it went from minus 36 to plus 7 in the blink of an eye, so just puddles everywhere. There is another public skate at an arena on Sunday afternoon. At this moment my ankle is very sore, but I really hope to skate on Sunday. Skating fills me up.7 -
@globalhiker
Please don't beat yourself up. I echo what @RubyRed427 says, put it behind you.
18AF days in a row is huge!!!
Ugh to the spins. That is why I can never have more than 3, I hate the spins and the puking.
You are always so thoughtful and intentional in the way that you approach your life choices.
I really really like what you said about introducing things into our lives that make us happy.
Life can be like a hamster wheel at times. Yes, it is important to find and to remember what gives us each joy.6 -
I am Dawn, I live in SE BC Canada
My ongoing goal remains, 16-20 AF days per month.
Last month I had 18AF days
I do this diary style to keep track, and post the next morning
Thursday January 19 - AF - I rarely post at night, but I had to sit and fix the gel polish on one of my nails at my kitchen table where my laptop is, and I had time while it was in and out of the curer.
Also, I have found recently that I don't have too much time in the mornings to post.
With my sore ankle I didn't want to add any alcohol to my body, I didn't have any last night either. I do plan on having drinks on the weekend.
Tomorrow marks week 2 after getting my ankle joint steroid. Between 2-6 weeks is when it is expected to show improvement. That would be great. I can't do much outside here anyway right now with the weather well above freezing and deep puddles sitting on top of ice. I am so grateful that there was perfect weather for cross country skiing for a couple of days at Christmas. Heck, it is only January, so there might still be a change in the conditions on the trails yet to come.
Rolling total: 11AF days out of 19 days.9 -
globalhiker wrote: »I blew it on day 18. I bought 3 Bailey's mini's and drank them on an empty stomach, while on a diet. Very soon after, the room started spinning and I was violently sick. I had the "bed spins" when I wasn't even in bed yet!
I just poisoned myself and my body let me know it. Being AF for awhile, my system is no longer used to drinking. Being on a keto diet didn't help. Plus, I am getting old!
Feeling mad at myself. I just took a step-back for no good reason. Friday I will put my big girl pants back on and go back on the "AF" plan.
Don't beat yourself up GH. What's done is done. As you sat today is a brand new day and a fresh start.
Sometime a bump in the road is the best way to remind you how smooth the journey has been going.7 -
19 Days AF
A quick public service announcement reminding middle aged men not to wear skinny jeans....
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Jan 1- AF
Jan 2 - AF
Jan 3 - AF
Jan 4 - AF
Jan 5 - 6- 7- A
Jan 8 - AF
Jan 9 - AF
Jan 10 - AF
Jan 11 - AF
Jan 12- 13- 14 - A
Jan 15 - AF
Jan 16 - AF
Jan 17 - AF
Jan 18 - AF
Jan 19 - A - 2 glasses of wine...started to pour a 3rd and stopped myself and went to bed instead- feel great this morning- being in control feels really good 👍12 -
Went to my SIL for dinner where I was repeatedly asked if I wanted wine, beer etc. I politely declined but then she wouldn't drink any either. The men had beers. I wish she would have just poured herself a drink instead of trying to cajole me into joining her. Aside from that, it was a nice and sober evening where we left in a timely manner for a weeknight, instead of plowing through 3 bottle of wine as is our norm with them.
It's Friday and usually a challenging day for us less alcohol people. Best of luck to everyone trying to meet their personal goals.
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Hello! It’s Amanda, I’m back. It’s a new month and a new year! I’ve been thinking about 2022 and 2023. I’ve got some goals for the year and staying 98% AF is one of them. I love this group, I love this thread, it really works.
1/1-1/7: 7 out of 7 AF
1/8-1/14: 7 out of 7 AF
1/15: AF
1/16: AF
So you all could have almost seen me on the news last night “Woman sticks pen in her eye;driven by stress from her boss.” Seriously. I hate, hate, hate that my health insurance is connected to her.
Well, I’m just a bucket of sunshine this morning aren’t I?
Love to you all, everyone is doing so well. Have a great Tuesday 🫠
24 days AF
1/17: AF
The work stress/drama is real. Horrible boss was posting Tik Toks of herself crying last night at 10 pm. (She’s 47 years old) If I’m gonna go down with this dumpster fire of a job I’m gonna go down swinging! 💪🏼
I didn’t even think about drinking to get away from her crazy, whereas six months ago I would have been watching the clock until I could punch out and drink. Who am I?
1/18: AF
The drama continues with work. I wish I had a clever nickname for my boss. 🤔 Working today until 2 then a few hours incognito tomorrow then done for the weekend.
I have a doctor appointment today and I am hoping for good news and to celebrate this weekend!
1/19: AF
Work drama continues but I am technically off today so I will work while remaining hidden and only speak to clients. All of my work notifications are set to turn off on Thursdays at 7 pm for the weekend. Oddly, it took me 2 years to figure out to do this for my own sanity 🤪
In breast cancer news I have learned that I will NOT be needing chemo! 🥳🙌 This was a huge concern of mine and I have been waiting to know since December 20. My next step is radiation, 20 rounds. I’m pretending like it’s going to be no big deal so maybe it won’t be.
26 days AF
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@ahoy_m8 I love the ankle carrying story, you must have been a hit in college!
@dawnbgethealthy Hoping for your ankle to get better quickly. Are you saying it’s warm for January in BC? I’m in Michigan and the weather has been very odd, lots of rain, no snow, in the high 30s/low 40s but of course gray skies.5 -
Well, I did it... DH and I went to "our place" last night to eat. I have been so hungry lately and I thought the challenge isn't as challenging if I didn't go there. I announced my AF January as soon as I got there. The bartender gave me one of these... even though I am a wine drinker and seltzer is usually just 'meh', this was delicious:
DH had a beer, we ordered yummy food (Caprese burger and fries for me), and then we went home. It felt great to get out (even in the pouring rain), and the temptation was non-existent. Completely.
I hope everyone has a great day and weekend ahead...
-Georgia
AF Jan 1-1911 -
I'm pouring out all the alcohol today after work. I've gained 10 pounds back since I started drinking again. When I drink, I eat. A lot. I gave up like 98% of my drinking for about a year while losing weight. Then I went back to it in EXCESS! It's all going away tonight though!13
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@mfowler883 just caught up to all the posts. Big hug to you!!!!! I’m so sorry to hear you are struggling on so many fronts right now.
@globalhiker ugh, bed spins are the worst. It’s amazing how our bodies say “nope! Not on my watch!”
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Had one glass of wine at “wine night” at work. It was on an empty stomach, and all of a sudden I felt it, and was concerned that I wouldn’t be able to drive home. So, I didn’t finish it (it was a big pour to boot). Next time I have to have a handful of nuts before we open the wine- when I have some food in me, I don’t get that tipsy feeling. Scary.
So, it’s Friday night. I’m already hearing the siren song of wine. Husband will be at a game, son will be at National Guard drill, so it’s just me and the dog. Can I stick to my one glass of wine? Can I forgo it all together? I really don’t know.10 -
@Stockholm_Andy - Thank you for the laugh!
@joans1976 - No Chemo! WoooHoooo
@dawnbgethealthy - I hope that you begin to see improvements with your ankle. Sore anything is expected with age but not needed! Please go away pain for Dawn's sake.
@Womona - Wine night ... oh my downfall especially if someone else is paying or if the bottle is really good!5 -
The devil on my shoulder won last night 2 shots of whiskey. Upwards and onward.
The gaining weight is such a problem when I drink LOL I am up 8lb since Dec 1. Holiday cheer gone wrong? Naw my elbow bending always thinking there must be a liquid in my hand that creates a buzz.
Got to get that girl back under control....and I will and do.
waving to everyone have a great Friay10 -
@joans1976 yay to no chemo!!!!! I’m so happy for you!!!!!6
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@joans1976 No chemo is AWESOME news!
@lmlmrn yeah I've been struggling to get back on track since Thanksgiving. Every day that I've had alcohol has been accompanied by weight gain overnight with one or two exceptions. The drinks come with calories of their own, and then comes the snacking and grazing on top of it. You got this, though. What whiskey do you like? I'm a fan of wheated bourbons, Weller being the go-to when I can find it.
@womona don't you hate that? I've had those sorts of episodes before, have one drink and be like hey whoa I'm feeling this more than usual for some reason....
@liveoncebehappy I did the same thing a few months ago, tossed quite a bit and went from keeping beer, wine and whiskey on hand all the time to buying small amounts on occasion. That was a pivotal decision in my weight loss journey.
@geebee08505 I've been seeing things like that Hoppy Refresher around, not normally something I would be drawn to but I'm getting curious. I may have to grab some next time I go shopping.
My lanyard looked great but was seriously oversized for the little knife I attached it to, so I untied it before bed. Untying it was at least as tricky as tying it in the first place, after working out the slack and dressing it down. Good practice, though, Turk's heads are probably not exactly considered a beginner knot. LOL.
Today is more "business as usual" and I guess we're just going to keep doing that until the next big one drops and then we'll yell and fight and threaten divorce and make ridiculous threats and accusations and say all the hurtful things we can think of and drag up every little thing from twenty some odd years of life together. I'll get ripped, and sleep in the pillow pile on the studio floor until she comes and asks if I'm coming to bed. The next morning will be more tearful hugs and sorry this and we need to that and back to "business as usual."
Is this just how it goes? What am I supposed to be feeling right now, because I still just feel distant and sort of numb with a little spike of frustration poking through around the edges...
-m4 -
Happy Friday, AF friends.
Awesome about the no chemo @joans1976 . Love your attitude about the radiation, too. I think radiation is one of those things that keeps getting more finely tuned over time, so that is more effective on the bad cells with less impact on the rest of your body. I hope it's that way, at least. I'm here for it however you experience it. You're doing so great in so many ways right now, despite the teary tiktoking boss who's old enough to know better and other stuff you don't control.
@GeeBee08505 Love that story and thanks for sharing it. Definitely one for the W column. Your bartender is gold. He/She really has your back and wants you to enjoy the place on your terms.
@Stockholm_Andy Ha! Laughed out loud at that one.
@mfowler883 I'm hearing you on the argument hangover. Honestly, I feel that way after an argument where I believe DH said things with a hurtful intention. I never had a sister, but it flat out amazes me how sisters can be SO MEAN, like on purpose (!), and then they make up and everything is ok. I don't get that. I don't forget the mean. People do say things (when they are emotionally jumping to conclusions) that they actually do not mean (when they think rationally).
On the same topic, my deck builder works closely with his family every day. He said when things were rough in his marriage, at least they could go to work and work well together. He felt like that had a steadying effect on their relationship. I appreciated his perspective.
All you guys who have decided to drink only when out socializing or with friends are making sooo much sense. I, on the other hand, have been looking forward to drinking alone tonight all week. DH is on a guys ski trip, the interns (DD#3+roommate) are going to a birthday party, and I will have solitude for the first time in several weeks. I'm almost giddy thinking about it. And I am going to have 2 glasses of wine and save the rest for dinner with the interns tomorrow. That's my plan. Inshallah.8 -
@joans1976 great news no chemo for you! that's like super huge...sending positive thoughts
Yes @dawnbgethealthy I agree...hamster on a wheel I have been and I need to get off the wheel. I have to fix my mood. I haven't been running and my mood has gotten dreary.
@Stockholm_Andy thank you for making me laugh. That was a really good one.
Separately, I have to say I so do appreciate the humor and positivity this group puts forth. To me, it seems to help motivate and get out of the negative rut I often get stuck in.
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Been on autopilot most of the day, just doing the things that need doing without really thinking or feeling. AF so far; trying to decide if it stays that way...kinda tempted to sip more whiskey, not to get ripped but because it's there. I had a Karbach NA with dinner, a huge chopped salad and a light shrimp pasta, it was good and satisfying, loaded with nutrients and light on calories.
-m6
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