Fat girl and skinny guy

dispatch25
dispatch25 Posts: 13
edited October 2 in Introduce Yourself
Ok so i have this problem, i have a guy who would be great to me, he likes me and respects me but hes skinny and im chunky. Does anyone else have this problem? I look at myself and him and tell myself i dont wanna be the fat girl in a relationship walking down the street with the skinny guy...any advice??
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Replies

  • If you like him, he likes you and he would treat you well don't let your weight stop you from trying it. :smile:

    I'm a fat girl married to a skinny guy and it's never been an issue. The people who know us know that we're good together regardless of physical traits and the people who don't know us don't matter.
  • hush7hush
    hush7hush Posts: 2,273 Member
    Uh, why is it a problem?
  • snookumss
    snookumss Posts: 1,451 Member
    I'd rather be the fat girl with a skinny guy where there may be motivation, than the fat girl with the fat guy whom both have no motivation and cares. :) Don't worry about it!
  • red01angel
    red01angel Posts: 806 Member
    Honestly??

    Get over it. If he likes you and you like him, where's the problem?
    Sounds like a case for a therapist because of self esteem issues, TBH.
  • megz4987
    megz4987 Posts: 1,008 Member
    Well lets put it this way...
    My fiance is 6'4 and weighs 175lb.
    I'm 5'8 and weigh 220lb.

    I used to think that the girl should always be smaller than the guy, in every way. I don't care how weird we look, anymore. We're happy and that's what matters.
  • gsenriquez
    gsenriquez Posts: 181 Member
    Don't worry about other people. He likes you as who you are, and you like him as is. If you want to lose weight, it should be something you want to do for yourself. You can do it. Many members here including myself are learning to eat right :-) Good luck.
  • Just don't talk about your concerns with your weight about him. It might make you seem insecure and guys don't like that! Act confident and do what you need to be healthy! :smile: If he likes you the way you are now then don't worry about it! I've been with my boyfriend for 5 and a half years and he never complains about the weight i am! Not even when I got a little bit more chunky! Don't let your weight affect a good thing! Just appreciate him and he'll appreciate you! NO matter what size. :wink: Good luck!
  • Ill admit my self esteem isnt the highest cause ive been heavy for most of my life so i never have had a guy look at me like im actually someone he wants. As im losing my weight its not as bad cause im like ok im starting to look like those girls, but there is also an age problem...anyone with someone they really care about who is 18 yrs older then them?
  • JaenaM
    JaenaM Posts: 251 Member
    I'm a fat girl with a fat guy and it's hard sometimes because I'm focused on weight release and working out and he's not so much. It would be nice if we worked out together more. I've suggested it, he just doesn't prioritize the time. But in the end I love him and I don't care if he's fat skinny or an alien...he's my guy. If u like someone, don't u dare let appearances and other people's judgments rob u of a chance to love!!! Now get up, missy, pick up that phone and go get your skinny little honeybun!
  • While I'm no skinny guy by any stretch of the imagination, I'd say that if you're both fortunate to have found each other and you both have genuine love, respect and acceptance of one another, then for goodness sake don't let your relative dimensions be a deterrent to happiness! You'll just wind up kicking yourself if you let the opportunity go unexplored. Trust me.
  • JaenaM
    JaenaM Posts: 251 Member
    While I'm no skinny guy by any stretch of the imagination, I'd say that if you're both fortunate to have found each other and you both have genuine love, respect and acceptance of one another, then for goodness sake don't let your relative dimensions be a deterrent to happiness! You'll just wind up kicking yourself if you let the opportunity go unexplored. Trust me.

    Word.
  • chickenpoppa
    chickenpoppa Posts: 207 Member
    I have been with my partner for nearly 6 1/2 years and since we have been together i have always been bigger than him. He is tall and weighs about 54 kg (118.8 pounds) and i weighed (before i started on MFP) 81.1 kg (178.4 pounds) and usually eat more then him at meals. It used to bother me during the 1st few years we were together but then i got over it as we have different eating habits and genes. As long as you and him are happy together its nobodys business that you are together.
  • Tiffanydepiano
    Tiffanydepiano Posts: 169 Member
    Started out at 449 lbs and my husband of 10 years hasn't topped out over 160. He is gorgeous and faithful. He loves me no matter what I weigh.

    Thin women hit on him all the time but he doesn't even consider it and it's not cause he's afraid I'll sit on him. lol

    Don't let a good one pass by.
  • chickenpoppa
    chickenpoppa Posts: 207 Member
    While I'm no skinny guy by any stretch of the imagination, I'd say that if you're both fortunate to have found each other and you both have genuine love, respect and acceptance of one another, then for goodness sake don't let your relative dimensions be a deterrent to happiness! You'll just wind up kicking yourself if you let the opportunity go unexplored. Trust me.

    well said:-)
  • DannyMussels
    DannyMussels Posts: 1,842 Member
    I've never been in better shape my whole life then I am right now. At this point, I'm generally attracted to only average-fit girls. Ones that work out or look like they do.

    However, there's one girl at work, whos def larger and not in the greatest shape at all. Physically she's not what I really even look at. But her attitude is the best outta everyone there, she's ALWAYS in a good mood, ALWAYS laughing and happy. Even if its a bad night, slow, busy, goes bad, shes always really cheerful. It's surprising how attractive that makes her. Even I see her in a completely different light because of her attitude and behaviour alone.

    So don't think there's ever a 'will never work'. That kinda attitude sets you up for failure before you even begin.

    You'll regret 100% of the shots you don't take.
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
    I was around 180lbs when my boyfriend and I met. He weighed 140lbs. I wondered what he saw in me - since he could have had anyone out there. For a long time, I didn't feel like I was good enough for him. He loves me for me - not what the scale says.

    If he likes you and you like him - GO FOR IT! :)
  • ctalimenti
    ctalimenti Posts: 865 Member
    My husband is 9 yrs older than me. We do have differences esp. with music but other than that, nothing really.
  • RoanneRed
    RoanneRed Posts: 429 Member
    Besides, you're on here because there's something you don't like about yourself and you're putting in the work to change it - just remind yourself of that occasionally.
  • Read my lips: IT. DOESN'T. MATTER. The only thing that matters is how you feel about him and he about you - if everything is sweet there, size and shape are TOTALLY irrelevant. Please don't let superficial things like weight and height influence what's going on in the heart. You are a beautiful caring human being with some baggage, just like we all are. That baggage is called life and choices, and nobody is perfect. If he thinks you're gorgeous, who are you to tell him otherwise?
  • I'm a 6' tall 240 lbs girl (Was 255 ten days ago!)
    My boyfriend is 5'6" and about 145 lbs.

    I don't wear heels but otherwise I don't notice it at all. He's amazing and I wouldn't trade him for anyone!
  • The difference in your weight - not a problem. The 18 year difference in your age - potential big problem!

    You're in your 20's? So he'd be in his 40's? (firstly, he should be so lucky to get a pretty young thing like you). How you do think you'd go with him in his 50's and 60's?

    You two may have very different values, outlooks, life goals, upbringings etc. Does he want kids? Does he have kids and an ex-wife/ ex-partner (s)? If not, why not?

    Is he looking for a compliant daughter substitute that he can mould to his wishes? How is your relationship with your father - are you looking for a daddy?

    I have no idea of your situation and he may be the right guy for you, but please be very careful and thoughtful. Have lots of deep and meaningful conversations with him. Pay close attention to any 'uh-oh' reactions you have to things he says or does.

    Don't settle - you deserve a great (not perfect, may be hard work, but ultimately good) relationship (no matter what your size!).
  • Ok so i have this problem, i have a guy who would be great to me, he likes me and respects me but hes skinny and im chunky. Does anyone else have this problem? I look at myself and him and tell myself i dont wanna be the fat girl in a relationship walking down the street with the skinny guy...any advice??

    Oooo how I love this! There are alot of guys out there that like a real woman! My boyfriend and I are the same height, well he beats me by like an inch! He weighs 180 but looks like he weighs 160. I weigh 208! Everytime I bring up the fact that I am dieting he HATES it! He absolutely loves me for me, curves and all! If you both are attracted to one another then I so go for it! Who cares what others think, it's not their life or their business to judge you! You walk down that street with confidence that you don't need to be a size 2 to get a skinny guy! You got a guy who sees that you are beautiful just the way you are! THAT is a RARE thing to find these days so I'd snatch it up! :)
  • Ill admit my self esteem isnt the highest cause ive been heavy for most of my life so i never have had a guy look at me like im actually someone he wants. As im losing my weight its not as bad cause im like ok im starting to look like those girls, but there is also an age problem...anyone with someone they really care about who is 18 yrs older then them?

    As for the age.. I've always said age is just a number! Age doesn't have anything to do with love! Love comes from the heart! Attraction comes from the eyes! All that number is for is to say how long you've been on this earth! Now if you were like 15 or something I could see it being a problem. If you are a mature adult then it's your choice! If he makes you happy and you are happy with him then don't let it bother you! If people don't like it, then let them deal with it. It's your life, your decision!

    Me any my boyfriend are 9 years apart.. I'm 26 he's 35! I will say the one thing I love the most is that with age comes respect and maturity.. One thing you don't find in alot of younger guys! :)
  • I wouldn't care who looks like what in the relationship. If he is a good guy treats you well and respects you. Go for it! Better be in a good relationship than a bad one. Who cares about the rest.:bigsmile:
  • nadiaez
    nadiaez Posts: 132 Member
    size really doesn't matter....my husband is tall and thin and can eat like a horse whereas I but on alot of weight while pregnant....he love me when he met me and I was a little overweight, he loved me when I was huge and he still loves me now! Good partners are hard to find so if you have found someone who is gonna love, respect you and make you happy then you grab hold and don't let go!
  • Judas_Queen
    Judas_Queen Posts: 251 Member
    Me and my fella were once skinny girl skinny guy.. then we started dating and became chubby girl skinny guy, now we're FAT *kitten* GIRL and regular guy (he's so tall he never looks chubby!! *gives evils*)

    But.. it's not stopped us being together for 6 and a half years, and getting engaged :) I do need to lose weight, but he's never had a problem with my size! He said its mostly in my head and that I'm sexy regardless, and that actually, he likes what I consider to be a "fat *kitten*"

    Real mean don't like stick thin girls, they like a bit'a something to hold onto, and to keep 'em warm on cold nights! Since I've embraced my size, I've been surprised at how many men have tried to come onto me.. so...

    the moral of this story is.. Don't give a darn about what anybody else thinks, if you truly like each other and will care for each other it doesnt matter about people on the outside... truth is, if they're snarky, they're probably just jealous of what you both have :)
  • My boyfriend is 6ft 1 and he's stocky (he's a fireman so he is very strong), I'm 5ft 9 and curvy. He has always liked women to have curves. I've always been a big girl and I've always been self conscious of my size, but the men I've met have always said that they prefer a woman to have curves. If he loves you and your happy then whose to say otherwise, I know being "skinny" is shoved in our faces these days, but women are meant to have curves, not look like matchstick men. Romance is difficult to come by these days so enjoy it and dont give a stuff what anybody else thinks ;o)
  • benodie
    benodie Posts: 231 Member
    While I'm no skinny guy by any stretch of the imagination, I'd say that if you're both fortunate to have found each other and you both have genuine love, respect and acceptance of one another, then for goodness sake don't let your relative dimensions be a deterrent to happiness! You'll just wind up kicking yourself if you let the opportunity go unexplored. Trust me.

    ^^this! :)
  • I have always weighed more than my husband but not this much more!! When we met I was maybe only 20 lbs heavier but now, I way surpass that amount..LOL!! He is is 6'2 and 150!! But he loves me anyway...I'm so blessed!
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
    You're big but also cute. I would hate it if a cute girl I liked wouldn't date me because I wasn't fat enough.
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