Kids say the funniest things.....
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Ok so, don't judge me... but this is hilarious ( to me).
My oldest boy, now 10 then 3, went with his father to the grocer to get a few things and some ice cream. When they get to the car his father tells him the cashier forgot to give them the ice cream little one says " that Fu**ing lady forgot to give us our ice cream"
....nice right?
so the next week we are at my part time job at the time, and one of the ladies was impressed at how well he spoke. She said something along the lines of "Wow, is there anything you can't say?" without missing a beat he replies
"Well I can't say F**k and I can't say Shut up" :laugh:
....I will never live this one down
He sounds like a doll.0 -
The other day my 4 year old daughter came up to me with her Grumpy bear and the toy syringe out of her DRs kit,she said "Mommy I have to give Grumpy THREE shots because hes going to Africa, and I dont want him to get malaria."0
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I don't have kids, either. But when my nephew was maybe 3 or 4, his parents realized he needed a phrase to express his displeasure at something. They didn't like shoot or darn, and they certainly didn't want him saying worse. So his father started saying "aww man" whenever something went wrong. The kid picked it up. It was so cute hearing him say, awww man!0
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The other day my 4 year old daughter came up to me with her Grumpy bear and the toy syringe out of her DRs kit,she said "Mommy I have to give Grumpy THREE shots because hes going to Africa, and I dont want him to get malaria."
that's... oddly specific.0 -
mason is an AWWW MAN kindof guy too...hahaha. When I'm angry at him he'll look at me and say "mommy so happy???" and I'd use to answer "oh yes honey, mommy is very happy." until I realized it was his way of getting out of trouble so now it's "no mason, mommy NOT happy right now" and he will straighten up quick0
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The other day my 4 year old daughter came up to me with her Grumpy bear and the toy syringe out of her DRs kit,she said "Mommy I have to give Grumpy THREE shots because hes going to Africa, and I dont want him to get malaria."
that's... oddly specific.
My daughter is a trip,and does not talk like a 4 year old at all.She also likes to watch the news with me & her daddy so she picks up some strange things sometimes0 -
The other day my 4 year old daughter came up to me with her Grumpy bear and the toy syringe out of her DRs kit,she said "Mommy I have to give Grumpy THREE shots because hes going to Africa, and I dont want him to get malaria."
I love this.0 -
When my daughter was little we were at an amusement park attending an outdoor magic show. The stage was in front and there were bleachers surrounding the stage filled with 4-6 yr olds and their parents. The magician asked for several volunteers and 4 children ran up on stage to be his assistants. He asked the first child, where are you from? The boy answered, New Jersey. The second child, Where are you from? The child stammered a little and said, New York. The third responded, New York. The magician then asked the last child, where are you from? The child responded quickly, "I'm from over there" and pointed to his empty seat on the bleachers! Priceless!0
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lol...kids are so funny...my 3 year old son during bath time wanted to know if Jillian Michaels is married because he wants to workout with her LMBO.
Then this morning we see a police car and he says "There goes to Po Po's" What!?! where do they learn these things0 -
The other day my 4 year old daughter came up to me with her Grumpy bear and the toy syringe out of her DRs kit,she said "Mommy I have to give Grumpy THREE shots because hes going to Africa, and I dont want him to get malaria."
that's... oddly specific.
My daughter is a trip,and does not talk like a 4 year old at all.She also likes to watch the news with me & her daddy so she picks up some strange things sometimes
she sounds awesome.0 -
My then 4 year old saw Daddy in just his pants and asked what the lump was. Daddy explained that it was his front bottom and she said "I thought you'd done a poo in your pants"0
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We were in the car the other day listening to the radio and an Old Navy commercial comes on and says "HUGE BABY SALE GOING ON NOW AT OLD NAVY..." My 6 year old daughter just about jumped out of her booster seat and screamed "MOMMY DID YOU HEAR THAT?? THEY ARE SELLING HUGE BABIES!!!!" OMG I could go on and on with some of the things my kids say out of nowhere.. Here's to kids and their neverending entertainment! :0)0
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bump for later
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I don't have kids, but my cousin has a 4 year old who's hilarious My cousin recently told me this story:
The child's dad was giving her a telling off for something she'd done, and she retorted "B*gger off outside and get yourself dead!" They had to send her to her room until they stopped laughing. It's even funnier when you picture it being said by an angelic little blonde girl with a Mancunian accent!
She also named her toy penguin "The Penguin Of Death" :laugh:0 -
I don't have children of my own.... but I used as a substance Abuse counselor... So My client's children didn't exactly grow up like others.
My favorite story is one of my clients said when she was in the grocery store with her three year old, He points at a random stranger and says very loudly, "Mommy is that my Daddy? Cuz We don't know who my Daddy is!"0 -
My 2 year old son yesterday lifts my shirt, looks at my belly and asks
Brokk: "Momma where your penis"
Me: "Momma doesnt have a penis. Brokk has a penis and dada has a penis but not momma."
Brokk: " Dada....has a....penis?!?!?!"
i LOLed (i hope i can post the word penis this much
) 0 -
My son has Down syndrome and is speech delayed. We are SO happy when he learns a new word. Usually. He was playing in his room the other day when I heard him say "*kitten*". Totally my fault since that what most people are when I'm driving. LOL. So I go in his room and tell him it is not a nice word and don't say it any more. He replies "okay, mom." As I am leaving the room I hear him mutter "*kitten*". SMH. LOL.0
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Lol this are all hiarious!!!
Well mine was when I was 8 months pregnant and I seen one of my old friends at the store and she had her 4 yr old with her and we were talking about my pregnancy and the lil girl asked me
Lil girl: why is your belly so big???
Me: That's because I have a baby inside me...
Lil girl: you ate it???
I almoust peed my pants !!!! It was sooooo funny; )0 -
I decided to take my two girls to buy a treat at Mc donalds...... Going through the drive through my 6yo asked me for a Sundae and then my 3yo said ....Mummy can i have a Tuesday pls!.. Me and my 6yo could not stop laughing :laugh:0
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I love some of the things that comes out of my daughter's mouth.
One of my favorite memories was the first time she saw someone who was pregnant. I took her with me to a friend's baby shower:
Chloe: where's the baby?
Me: In Angela's belly
*chloe looks angela up and down, climbs up on the couch next to her, looks in the pocket of her hoodie, tries pulling up her shirt and we're all giggling*
Me: Chloe you can't see the baby, she's INSIDE of her mommy's belly
*Chloe starts to cry*
Chloe: get her out mommy, get her out...why did she eat her baby?!
We all LOST it!
Another time she tried blaming the cat for her messy bedroom
Chloe: Mommy I didn't mess up my bedroom, Ollie did [puts her hand on her hip] I just don't know what I'm going to do with that stupid cat, I'm going to have to beat her @$$
LOL0 -
My kids aren't talking yet but I do remember when my niece was about 3 she saw a helicopter sitting on the ground and she asked "helicopter sleeping??" and the time we were driving in the car and "Hang on Sloopy" came on and after listening for a minute my nephew declared "He should not be calling him stupid"0
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when my son noticed a few gray hairs on my head and said ""MOMMY...YOU GOT CLEAR HAIRS""
Also when I got my new car he was about 4 and in the back seat..he is looking around and then he says""WOW..>THIS IS REALLY LIVIN"!!!!!!
and the best for last is.....MOMMY...I THINK I HAD ONE OF THOSE WET DREAM THINGS THAT THEY TALK ABOUT>>>
ME: WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU SAY THAT ZACK?
HIM: WELL I WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND MY BOXERS ARE ALL WET ..then he leaves the room crying LOL ( he was like 7 ) and over head his cousins talking about thier sex ed class....hahahahah0 -
I hate traffic and I was stuck in morning traffic taking my son to school. I get frustrated and because the light was green and i didnt want to miss it. I thought I was saying this under my breath, but I wasnt...It just came out - "Go B*tch Go". The other driver couldnt hear me and I didnt think my son was paying any attention to me either...
Soooooooo My Husband, his mother, and my son are in the car together and the light turns green, oh yeah he said it...-"Go B*tch Go", and then he said, "Turn B*tch Turn"...They told me all they could do was laugh at first because it was so unexpected and he had the serious face. I didnt even know how to tell him it wasnt a good thing to say after they told me he said it. After all, I have said it on numerous occassions. My potty mouth has gotten the best of me once again...0 -
I was doing my 5 year old daughter's homeschool Bible lesson with her the other day and asked her to repeat her memory verse, "God made everything beautiful. - Ecclesiastes 3:11" She eagerly repeated back, "God made everything beautiful. - Crazy *kitten* 3:11" I laughed so hard I cried. Later on that day, I told her I was very impressed with her coloring skills. She smiled and said, "Thanks. You should be."
Man, that is too funny!! I'm crying too!
My daughter was telling us about one of her friend's daddy. She said he was really cool. My hubby asked "oh, yeah - why is he so cool?" My daughter said it's "because he wears his hat backwards". So my hubby follows up with "oh, that's nice. So do you know any other cool daddys??". Long pause... My daughter looks at me and says "um.... awkward..."
I laughed my face off - it was delivered just perfectly!!!0 -
I work with little kids around preschool and kinder age.
This little boy any time something cool happens always yells out "Oh wow EPIC!" He's only four.
Another little boy who is three in another classroom cries a lot. And when you ask him a question he says "No way, no way".0 -
My daughter ... no joke
Once asked when my ex husband and significant other were going to marry.
I just about died.0 -
My then 4 year old saw Daddy in just his pants and asked what the lump was. Daddy explained that it was his front bottom and she said "I thought you'd done a poo in your pants"
lol thats so funny. :laugh:0 -
my husband is the most annoying person behind the wheel of a truck and he is constantly saying "come on people pull your head out of your butt"
well when my son was 4 we were in the truck and my husband says "come on!" and he says "pull your head out of your butt!"
also, he loves the song "moves like jagger" and he says "mommy i want to wisten (listen) to move MY jagger". lol
and last but not least he cant pronounce is "L"s so he says "mommy i wuv rower toasters. especially the one that does the woopy woop" translation "mom i love roller coasters. especially the one that does the loopy loop".
once my daughter (who is 11 now) she and I were walking in the neighborhood and someones dog started barking as we walked by and she said "man that scared the hell outta me!" she was 40 -
My sister when she was 4-
''Pizza is better then anything!!!'' chloe
''It depends on what it has on it...'' - grandma
''WHAT?!?!?!?!?! I LOOOVE LASANGA!!!!!!''
Same sister age 5 - ''You are cuter then corn. But not cuter then me!'' - talking to our 3 year old sister.
''Chloe! Why are u rubbing butter all over your arms?'' - me ''but i have to be sparkley so that daddy knows i'm his angel'' (age 3)
''The only way you go to Heaven is if you have Jesus in your heart.'' - me
''nuh uh the only way you can go to Heaven is if you're dead.'' - C (4)
"What if darkness was coffee with no creamer?" A age 30 -
My 10 year old stepson - "I can't wait to meet my nemesis in high school."
Me - "Why's that, buddy?"
10 year old stepson - "So we can have a dance-off!"
He's watched too many of those teenage movies...
Then he proceeded to show me some of his best dance movies. Too funny!
I love this one!!!!
My 4 year old when I missed my exit and ended up somewhere a bit rural:
"I think we are in Africa!"0
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