Where am I going wrong?

bex1086
bex1086 Posts: 85 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
I've been weight lifting on and off since 2020 and after Christmas I started following the Madcow programme. I had to decrease my weights because due to an injury I had some time off.

At the minute my max 5x5 for squat is 50, same with deadlifts, my bench is 22, row is about 25. These are feeling really heavy and I feel like I'll struggle to progress soon and I don't know why.

For reference I'm 5'1, weigh 55kg and am eating 1550 calories on average a day which is about 300 under maintenance.

I'm far from skinny, if anything I'm a bit chunky and quite flabby so I don't know why I'm struggling so much. I'm a bit frustrated because not only am I incredibly weak it's also not helping me look any better so I'm in no man's land at the minute.

To be fair I was eating quite a lot up until recently, haven't lost any weight since Christmas although I haven't really gained either which is surprised considering I was probably eating 3000 calories a day!

I need to knuckle down and stick to my calories and I'll keep up the training but how do I get better? I'm probably the weakest person in my gym which isn't a gym for athletes, there are people of all ages.

Replies

  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,416 Member
    Are you working with a trainer to oversee your form? Are you doing your lifting daily? Every other day? Once a week?

    There are physiological issues that could be causing weakness. I would suggest having a trainer watch you for a few sessions and see if they think you should be progressing faster. If that's the actual case, then you would need to start down that rabbit hole with a medical investigation or learning to work with your particular situation.
  • bex1086
    bex1086 Posts: 85 Member
    I talk to the trainers regularly and they see no issues with my form and I was seeing a chiropractor who was into weight lifting and from what she saw when I did a quick demonstration she was happy with my form too. I lift 3 times a week, squats, deadlifts, row and bench twice then other things once a week.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,416 Member
    Okay, so your form is good. Are those weights you're using in kg? I was thinking they were pounds (this is a U.S. based site...)

    I would still suggest hiring one of those trainers to work with you. They would know how your progress is and whether or not there is some outlying issue.
  • bex1086
    bex1086 Posts: 85 Member
    Yes they are kgs.

    I did notice today that as soon as I hit 50kg for my deadlifts by back starts to round, this is an ongoing issue despite me trying to use the correct form. It's just that bit too heavy so I'm upping the amount I'm doing, will do a few more lighter ones and go from there.
  • Retroguy2000
    Retroguy2000 Posts: 1,848 Member
    Are those max figures in kg and including the bar?

    This may not answer your question, but I wonder about two things:

    First, you said you had an injury and you had to lower the weight. What was it, has it fully recovered? How much time off did you have? It could take about a third or half as much time to regain strength compared to the time you took off.

    Second, are you taking occasional deloads, say every 6-12 weeks or so?
  • bex1086
    bex1086 Posts: 85 Member
    The injury was just a dodgy neck, I took a few weeks off and went back to lifting when I had the ok from my chiropractor. Prior to that I did keep stopping after a few months of 3 day training so I had to go back to the beginning again.

    I've never really got past a 50kg deadlift and my squats start to struggle around 60.

    I spoke to a trainer about why I am seemingly so weak and he said that for a person of my size 50kg wasn't bad going but I have seen women in the gym who don't seem any bigger do 80kg squats and heavier deadlifts and can't help but wonder why they can do it and I can't. I saw a newbie with a PT do a 30kg bench press, never have I been able to hit that even after 12 weeks of progressive lifting! I think my maximum ever bench press was about 25/26kg 5x5.
  • middlehaitch
    middlehaitch Posts: 8,486 Member
    edited March 2023
    Are you eating your lifting cals?
    I ask because at 1550 cals you are probably under fueling your workouts leaving you with little energy to progress.

    Try eating at maintenance plus exercise cals for a couple of weeks and see if that helps.

    If you find you are amply fueled at the above maintenance try dropping your cals from your TDEE by 200-250 for a smaller deficit.

    I’m 5’1 too but 46kg and couldn’t progress well on your intake. Completely burnt out, upped my cals 150 regrouped and started progressing.

    (At the time a number of folks were saying that lifting cals were so few they weren’t worth accounting. That works fine if you are a bigger, heavier person but for me, with a lower basic calorie need, every cal earned was needed)

    Also pay no attention to what anyone else in the gym is lifting. That newbie may work construction, may have a better genetic disposition or a number of other reasons they look as though they can out lift you. It really doesn’t matter, you do you.

    Cheers, h.

    ETA: I used the MFP cals for weight training listed under ‘cardio’ and included my rest minutes.
  • CrazyMermaid1
    CrazyMermaid1 Posts: 356 Member
    Back in my twenties I decided to become a bodybuilder. I didn’t hire a trainer because I thought it would be a waste of time and money. blew out my knee (bursitis) and had knee issues, and eventually arthritis and two knee replacements. A trainer would have been a better choice for me. Just saying.
  • bex1086
    bex1086 Posts: 85 Member
    middlehaitch wrote: »
    Are you eating your lifting cals?
    I ask because at 1550 cals you are probably under fueling your workouts leaving you with little energy to progress.

    Try eating at maintenance plus exercise cals for a couple of weeks and see if that helps.

    If you find you are amply fueled at the above maintenance try dropping your cals from your TDEE by 200-250 for a smaller deficit.

    I’m 5’1 too but 46kg and couldn’t progress well on your intake. Completely burnt out, upped my cals 150 regrouped and started progressing.

    (At the time a number of folks were saying that lifting cals were so few they weren’t worth accounting. That works fine if you are a bigger, heavier person but for me, with a lower basic calorie need, every cal earned was needed)

    Also pay no attention to what anyone else in the gym is lifting. That newbie may work construction, may have a better genetic disposition or a number of other reasons they look as though they can out lift you. It really doesn’t matter, you do you.

    Cheers, h.

    ETA: I used the MFP cals for weight training listed under ‘cardio’ and included my rest minutes.

    My calories are based on my TDEE at 50kg minus 300 for the defecit for fat loss. That's based on 3-5 days a week of exercise which is pretty much what I do. Some weeks it's 3 days, some a bit more, very rarely it's 2 days so I don't eat back anything. I'm not only trying to increase my strength but get skinner too because I'm just a blob.

    I'm really not in a good place at the moment because I hate the way I look so it's having an impact in the way I see myself and others at the gym.
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
    I hit a plateau in my weight lifting and here are a few things I learned:

    (1) you really do need to eat enough protein. At least 1 g per lb of lean body mass.
    (2) most of that protein should be animal based (eggs, dairy, meat- I was doing mostly soy)
    (3) don't test ORM's more than once every two months or so.


    I don't know if any of this helps you, but once I started eating a lot of eggs and not regularly testing my maxes, I saw my calculated maxes go up by 10-15lbs each in one month!! I had been stalled legit for YEARS. So FWIW, maybe check your macros.
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
    ok i just looked at your diary- you need to eat more protein! Try getting 120 grams per day and see what happens in a month! And let me know!
  • bex1086
    bex1086 Posts: 85 Member
    CorvusCorax77 wrote: »
    ok i just looked at your diary- you need to eat more protein! Try getting 120 grams per day and see what happens in a month! And let me know!

    You're not wrong but it's incredibly difficult trying to pack in more protein whilst sticking to my calories, trying to get a balanced diet with fruit/vegetables as well as not depriving myself completely.
  • stainlessneil
    stainlessneil Posts: 65 Member
    The thing is to get stronger you need to gain muscle which means you need to have a calorie surplus. If you have a calorie deficit then you will lose muscle and fat. It's why bodybuilders (not that I'm suggesting you wish to be a bodybuilder) will bulk for most of the year, eating lots and lifting heavy and then focus on getting lean for only a 12 week period before competing. I would say increase your calorie intake through out the day and then as you lift weights you will have more fuel in the tank to lift and then recover and rebuild. You'll notice more energy, then more strength and more muscle tone. Just keep your macro percentages right.
  • bex1086
    bex1086 Posts: 85 Member
    claireychn074 wrote: »
    bex1086 wrote: »
    I've been weight lifting on and off since 2020 and after Christmas I started following the Madcow programme. I had to decrease my weights because due to an injury I had some time off.

    At the minute my max 5x5 for squat is 50, same with deadlifts, my bench is 22, row is about 25. These are feeling really heavy and I feel like I'll struggle to progress soon and I don't know why.

    For reference I'm 5'1, weigh 55kg and am eating 1550 calories on average a day which is about 300 under maintenance.

    I'm far from skinny, if anything I'm a bit chunky and quite flabby so I don't know why I'm struggling so much. I'm a bit frustrated because not only am I incredibly weak it's also not helping me look any better so I'm in no man's land at the minute.

    To be fair I was eating quite a lot up until recently, haven't lost any weight since Christmas although I haven't really gained either which is surprised considering I was probably eating 3000 calories a day!

    I need to knuckle down and stick to my calories and I'll keep up the training but how do I get better? I'm probably the weakest person in my gym which isn't a gym for athletes, there are people of all ages.


    First, take a long deep breath and look at what you have achieved so far. You’re lifting (great!), you’ve seen progress (great!), you’ve started to work out your calories (great!), and you are obviously determined to get stronger and better at lifting (awesome!). No that’s not patronising, but I think you might have lost sight of what you have already achieved. And comparison is the thief of joy - I used to lift in a powerlifting gym with a UK record holder. She was tiny but lifted stupid weights - it was difficult not to feel inferior.

    Now let’s look at your aims. Getting stronger on a deficit is hard (but not impossible), physically and mentally. It’s why some of us choose recomp, where we eat roughly at maintenance and try to build muscle - it takes a long time but it does work. So you’re cutting calories for aesthetic reasons but you’re stressing your body by lifting heavy - it’s not surprising your lifts are not going up as you want. You may find that eating at maintenance for a while then cutting for a while is “easier” on your body ie there’s a good chance the weight you can lift will shoot up with proper nutrition. I may be a bit of an outlier in calorie terms, but I lift 4x per week, I’m 5’3, c54.5kgs and I eat between 2100-2300 to maintain. If I eat less than 2100 I don’t have the energy to lift and my recovery is slow.

    I lost weight whilst lifting but then personally had to increase calories to improve the amount I could lift. I’m not very strong but I still work hard at it. I would also note that in the right lighting and when flexing I look ripped. In normal lighting I look like an average middle aged stocky short woman, with a lot of wobbly bits. Are you also being unkind to yourself, and maybe you aren’t as flabby as you think?

    Lifting is a long game, and it sounds to me like you’ve made a pretty good start!

    My main hang ups r.e. the way I look is my post 2 section pouch. It's been almost 6 years since the last one and despite trying my hardest I absolutely can not shift it. I have a shelf that sticks out just above where they cut me open and it makes me very self conscious in clothes.

    I'm also not in proportion, tiny waist, small shoulders and upper half but big hips and chunky thighs and a bum that sticks out for miles. The thing that baffles me is that people have said they wish they had my figure but I absolutely hate it!

    I'm tracking my calories for a 6 week period and will see what I weigh at the end of it and adjust as necessary. I keep saying once I'm at goal weight I'll eat at maintenance but my goal weight keeps getting lower and lower so it never actually happens 🙄
  • claireychn074
    claireychn074 Posts: 1,608 Member
    bex1086 wrote: »
    claireychn074 wrote: »
    bex1086 wrote: »
    I've been weight lifting on and off since 2020 and after Christmas I started following the Madcow programme. I had to decrease my weights because due to an injury I had some time off.

    At the minute my max 5x5 for squat is 50, same with deadlifts, my bench is 22, row is about 25. These are feeling really heavy and I feel like I'll struggle to progress soon and I don't know why.

    For reference I'm 5'1, weigh 55kg and am eating 1550 calories on average a day which is about 300 under maintenance.

    I'm far from skinny, if anything I'm a bit chunky and quite flabby so I don't know why I'm struggling so much. I'm a bit frustrated because not only am I incredibly weak it's also not helping me look any better so I'm in no man's land at the minute.

    To be fair I was eating quite a lot up until recently, haven't lost any weight since Christmas although I haven't really gained either which is surprised considering I was probably eating 3000 calories a day!

    I need to knuckle down and stick to my calories and I'll keep up the training but how do I get better? I'm probably the weakest person in my gym which isn't a gym for athletes, there are people of all ages.


    First, take a long deep breath and look at what you have achieved so far. You’re lifting (great!), you’ve seen progress (great!), you’ve started to work out your calories (great!), and you are obviously determined to get stronger and better at lifting (awesome!). No that’s not patronising, but I think you might have lost sight of what you have already achieved. And comparison is the thief of joy - I used to lift in a powerlifting gym with a UK record holder. She was tiny but lifted stupid weights - it was difficult not to feel inferior.

    Now let’s look at your aims. Getting stronger on a deficit is hard (but not impossible), physically and mentally. It’s why some of us choose recomp, where we eat roughly at maintenance and try to build muscle - it takes a long time but it does work. So you’re cutting calories for aesthetic reasons but you’re stressing your body by lifting heavy - it’s not surprising your lifts are not going up as you want. You may find that eating at maintenance for a while then cutting for a while is “easier” on your body ie there’s a good chance the weight you can lift will shoot up with proper nutrition. I may be a bit of an outlier in calorie terms, but I lift 4x per week, I’m 5’3, c54.5kgs and I eat between 2100-2300 to maintain. If I eat less than 2100 I don’t have the energy to lift and my recovery is slow.

    I lost weight whilst lifting but then personally had to increase calories to improve the amount I could lift. I’m not very strong but I still work hard at it. I would also note that in the right lighting and when flexing I look ripped. In normal lighting I look like an average middle aged stocky short woman, with a lot of wobbly bits. Are you also being unkind to yourself, and maybe you aren’t as flabby as you think?

    Lifting is a long game, and it sounds to me like you’ve made a pretty good start!

    My main hang ups r.e. the way I look is my post 2 section pouch. It's been almost 6 years since the last one and despite trying my hardest I absolutely can not shift it. I have a shelf that sticks out just above where they cut me open and it makes me very self conscious in clothes.

    I'm also not in proportion, tiny waist, small shoulders and upper half but big hips and chunky thighs and a bum that sticks out for miles. The thing that baffles me is that people have said they wish they had my figure but I absolutely hate it!

    I'm tracking my calories for a 6 week period and will see what I weigh at the end of it and adjust as necessary. I keep saying once I'm at goal weight I'll eat at maintenance but my goal weight keeps getting lower and lower so it never actually happens 🙄

    I get it, I really do. I am pear shaped with a good peasant-build that holds onto fat in case of times of famine 😀 aesthetically, you can build good traps and lats which can balance out a triangle shape. You can lose fat all over but it won’t just come off your hated bits - the only time I thought my legs looked slim was when my face looked gaunt. Unfortunately genetics has a huge role to play.

    The bit of belly which sticks out over your scar is more difficult, and depending on how you healed, it might actually be damage rather than fat per se. The only way to know would be to see a surgeon - but that obviously isn’t a quick or easy win.
  • bex1086
    bex1086 Posts: 85 Member
    Definitely, my face can look really skinny buy my legs huge!

    I'm trying to accept that I'm just built that way but when I try on dresses and people pull faces because I have bits that stick out it makes me feel awful. I would upload a picture so you can see what I mean but it isn't working.

    Whatever I wear it highlights the curvier bits of me, I can't hide all of them at the same time sadly.
  • claireychn074
    claireychn074 Posts: 1,608 Member
    bex1086 wrote: »
    Definitely, my face can look really skinny buy my legs huge!

    I'm trying to accept that I'm just built that way but when I try on dresses and people pull faces because I have bits that stick out it makes me feel awful. I would upload a picture so you can see what I mean but it isn't working.

    Whatever I wear it highlights the curvier bits of me, I can't hide all of them at the same time sadly.

    This sounds dead patronising but - I think your issue is your self perception not the reality. You think people stare at your bits which stick out, but you’ve been told others envy your physique. How do you know they’re not thinking “damn I wish I had that *kitten*”?
    And if your clothes are highlighting the bits you hate, go clothes shopping. Get new clothes. Try some self love and admire your physique for being strong enough to carry you through life. Easier said than done I know, and I probably only changed my perception of my body when I got cancer. Then I realised I might be about to die and the flabby thighs suddenly seemed less important.

  • Retroguy2000
    Retroguy2000 Posts: 1,848 Member
    stainlessneil wrote: »
    The thing is to get stronger you need to gain muscle which means you need to have a calorie surplus. If you have a calorie deficit then you will lose muscle and fat.
    That is not true at all.

    OP, as someone above noted your protein is far too low. That is going to prevent much muscle building, which is going to impede your progress in adding weight to lifts. If you add a scoop of protein powder per day that'll get you about 25g for 120 calories, and will get you much closer to a decent target of 100-120 grams.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,416 Member
    If you're trying on clothes and people are "pulling faces" in some kind of way? I'd not spend any more time around those people.

  • bex1086
    bex1086 Posts: 85 Member
    cmriverside wrote: »
    If you're trying on clothes and people are "pulling faces" in some kind of way? I'd not spend any more time around those people.

    Well to be fair I asked for their opinion and they have a point, I look chunky and my c section shelf sticks out.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,225 Member
    bex1086 wrote: »
    claireychn074 wrote: »
    bex1086 wrote: »
    I've been weight lifting on and off since 2020 and after Christmas I started following the Madcow programme. I had to decrease my weights because due to an injury I had some time off.

    At the minute my max 5x5 for squat is 50, same with deadlifts, my bench is 22, row is about 25. These are feeling really heavy and I feel like I'll struggle to progress soon and I don't know why.

    For reference I'm 5'1, weigh 55kg and am eating 1550 calories on average a day which is about 300 under maintenance.

    I'm far from skinny, if anything I'm a bit chunky and quite flabby so I don't know why I'm struggling so much. I'm a bit frustrated because not only am I incredibly weak it's also not helping me look any better so I'm in no man's land at the minute.

    To be fair I was eating quite a lot up until recently, haven't lost any weight since Christmas although I haven't really gained either which is surprised considering I was probably eating 3000 calories a day!

    I need to knuckle down and stick to my calories and I'll keep up the training but how do I get better? I'm probably the weakest person in my gym which isn't a gym for athletes, there are people of all ages.


    First, take a long deep breath and look at what you have achieved so far. You’re lifting (great!), you’ve seen progress (great!), you’ve started to work out your calories (great!), and you are obviously determined to get stronger and better at lifting (awesome!). No that’s not patronising, but I think you might have lost sight of what you have already achieved. And comparison is the thief of joy - I used to lift in a powerlifting gym with a UK record holder. She was tiny but lifted stupid weights - it was difficult not to feel inferior.

    Now let’s look at your aims. Getting stronger on a deficit is hard (but not impossible), physically and mentally. It’s why some of us choose recomp, where we eat roughly at maintenance and try to build muscle - it takes a long time but it does work. So you’re cutting calories for aesthetic reasons but you’re stressing your body by lifting heavy - it’s not surprising your lifts are not going up as you want. You may find that eating at maintenance for a while then cutting for a while is “easier” on your body ie there’s a good chance the weight you can lift will shoot up with proper nutrition. I may be a bit of an outlier in calorie terms, but I lift 4x per week, I’m 5’3, c54.5kgs and I eat between 2100-2300 to maintain. If I eat less than 2100 I don’t have the energy to lift and my recovery is slow.

    I lost weight whilst lifting but then personally had to increase calories to improve the amount I could lift. I’m not very strong but I still work hard at it. I would also note that in the right lighting and when flexing I look ripped. In normal lighting I look like an average middle aged stocky short woman, with a lot of wobbly bits. Are you also being unkind to yourself, and maybe you aren’t as flabby as you think?

    Lifting is a long game, and it sounds to me like you’ve made a pretty good start!

    My main hang ups r.e. the way I look is my post 2 section pouch. It's been almost 6 years since the last one and despite trying my hardest I absolutely can not shift it. I have a shelf that sticks out just above where they cut me open and it makes me very self conscious in clothes.

    I'm also not in proportion, tiny waist, small shoulders and upper half but big hips and chunky thighs and a bum that sticks out for miles. The thing that baffles me is that people have said they wish they had my figure but I absolutely hate it!

    I'm tracking my calories for a 6 week period and will see what I weigh at the end of it and adjust as necessary. I keep saying once I'm at goal weight I'll eat at maintenance but my goal weight keeps getting lower and lower so it never actually happens 🙄

    This is a speculative question, but how is your posture?

    There are some postural habits common these days that can make the belly area look more prominent. Examples are anterior pelvic tilt (basically the top of hip bone being forward of the lower edge, when they should be stacked), the head-forward rounded-shoulders posture many of us get from phone/keyboard use (a rude name for it is "nerd neck"), or a tendency to lock the knees in a way that pushes midsection forward. These are not things a person can fix by just being conscious of them necessarily, but there are relevant exercises to help improve them.

    Any chance something like that is contributing?

    P.S. I looked at your MFP profile photo. If that's you, and relatively recent, I think you're being super hard on yourself, really very self-critical FWIW. We all have things we want to improve, but your description of yourself in words sounds much more extreme than that photo looks to me.
  • bex1086
    bex1086 Posts: 85 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    bex1086 wrote: »
    claireychn074 wrote: »
    bex1086 wrote: »
    I've been weight lifting on and off since 2020 and after Christmas I started following the Madcow programme. I had to decrease my weights because due to an injury I had some time off.

    At the minute my max 5x5 for squat is 50, same with deadlifts, my bench is 22, row is about 25. These are feeling really heavy and I feel like I'll struggle to progress soon and I don't know why.

    For reference I'm 5'1, weigh 55kg and am eating 1550 calories on average a day which is about 300 under maintenance.

    I'm far from skinny, if anything I'm a bit chunky and quite flabby so I don't know why I'm struggling so much. I'm a bit frustrated because not only am I incredibly weak it's also not helping me look any better so I'm in no man's land at the minute.

    To be fair I was eating quite a lot up until recently, haven't lost any weight since Christmas although I haven't really gained either which is surprised considering I was probably eating 3000 calories a day!

    I need to knuckle down and stick to my calories and I'll keep up the training but how do I get better? I'm probably the weakest person in my gym which isn't a gym for athletes, there are people of all ages.


    First, take a long deep breath and look at what you have achieved so far. You’re lifting (great!), you’ve seen progress (great!), you’ve started to work out your calories (great!), and you are obviously determined to get stronger and better at lifting (awesome!). No that’s not patronising, but I think you might have lost sight of what you have already achieved. And comparison is the thief of joy - I used to lift in a powerlifting gym with a UK record holder. She was tiny but lifted stupid weights - it was difficult not to feel inferior.

    Now let’s look at your aims. Getting stronger on a deficit is hard (but not impossible), physically and mentally. It’s why some of us choose recomp, where we eat roughly at maintenance and try to build muscle - it takes a long time but it does work. So you’re cutting calories for aesthetic reasons but you’re stressing your body by lifting heavy - it’s not surprising your lifts are not going up as you want. You may find that eating at maintenance for a while then cutting for a while is “easier” on your body ie there’s a good chance the weight you can lift will shoot up with proper nutrition. I may be a bit of an outlier in calorie terms, but I lift 4x per week, I’m 5’3, c54.5kgs and I eat between 2100-2300 to maintain. If I eat less than 2100 I don’t have the energy to lift and my recovery is slow.

    I lost weight whilst lifting but then personally had to increase calories to improve the amount I could lift. I’m not very strong but I still work hard at it. I would also note that in the right lighting and when flexing I look ripped. In normal lighting I look like an average middle aged stocky short woman, with a lot of wobbly bits. Are you also being unkind to yourself, and maybe you aren’t as flabby as you think?

    Lifting is a long game, and it sounds to me like you’ve made a pretty good start!

    My main hang ups r.e. the way I look is my post 2 section pouch. It's been almost 6 years since the last one and despite trying my hardest I absolutely can not shift it. I have a shelf that sticks out just above where they cut me open and it makes me very self conscious in clothes.

    I'm also not in proportion, tiny waist, small shoulders and upper half but big hips and chunky thighs and a bum that sticks out for miles. The thing that baffles me is that people have said they wish they had my figure but I absolutely hate it!

    I'm tracking my calories for a 6 week period and will see what I weigh at the end of it and adjust as necessary. I keep saying once I'm at goal weight I'll eat at maintenance but my goal weight keeps getting lower and lower so it never actually happens 🙄

    This is a speculative question, but how is your posture?

    There are some postural habits common these days that can make the belly area look more prominent. Examples are anterior pelvic tilt (basically the top of hip bone being forward of the lower edge, when they should be stacked), the head-forward rounded-shoulders posture many of us get from phone/keyboard use (a rude name for it is "nerd neck"), or a tendency to lock the knees in a way that pushes midsection forward. These are not things a person can fix by just being conscious of them necessarily, but there are relevant exercises to help improve them.

    Any chance something like that is contributing?

    P.S. I looked at your MFP profile photo. If that's you, and relatively recent, I think you're being super hard on yourself, really very self-critical FWIW. We all have things we want to improve, but your description of yourself in words sounds much more extreme than that photo looks to me.

    Posture does definitely play a part, when I'm stood naturally my stomach looks bigger than it does if I make an effort to stand up straight.

    Depending on what photo you mean, the orange dress one was taken the other day. I sent it to someone who basically said I was too chunky to wear it because of my bum and my tummy.

    If it's the other one that was taken back in October when I was a little bit heavier.

  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,225 Member
    bex1086 wrote: »
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    bex1086 wrote: »
    claireychn074 wrote: »
    bex1086 wrote: »
    I've been weight lifting on and off since 2020 and after Christmas I started following the Madcow programme. I had to decrease my weights because due to an injury I had some time off.

    At the minute my max 5x5 for squat is 50, same with deadlifts, my bench is 22, row is about 25. These are feeling really heavy and I feel like I'll struggle to progress soon and I don't know why.

    For reference I'm 5'1, weigh 55kg and am eating 1550 calories on average a day which is about 300 under maintenance.

    I'm far from skinny, if anything I'm a bit chunky and quite flabby so I don't know why I'm struggling so much. I'm a bit frustrated because not only am I incredibly weak it's also not helping me look any better so I'm in no man's land at the minute.

    To be fair I was eating quite a lot up until recently, haven't lost any weight since Christmas although I haven't really gained either which is surprised considering I was probably eating 3000 calories a day!

    I need to knuckle down and stick to my calories and I'll keep up the training but how do I get better? I'm probably the weakest person in my gym which isn't a gym for athletes, there are people of all ages.


    First, take a long deep breath and look at what you have achieved so far. You’re lifting (great!), you’ve seen progress (great!), you’ve started to work out your calories (great!), and you are obviously determined to get stronger and better at lifting (awesome!). No that’s not patronising, but I think you might have lost sight of what you have already achieved. And comparison is the thief of joy - I used to lift in a powerlifting gym with a UK record holder. She was tiny but lifted stupid weights - it was difficult not to feel inferior.

    Now let’s look at your aims. Getting stronger on a deficit is hard (but not impossible), physically and mentally. It’s why some of us choose recomp, where we eat roughly at maintenance and try to build muscle - it takes a long time but it does work. So you’re cutting calories for aesthetic reasons but you’re stressing your body by lifting heavy - it’s not surprising your lifts are not going up as you want. You may find that eating at maintenance for a while then cutting for a while is “easier” on your body ie there’s a good chance the weight you can lift will shoot up with proper nutrition. I may be a bit of an outlier in calorie terms, but I lift 4x per week, I’m 5’3, c54.5kgs and I eat between 2100-2300 to maintain. If I eat less than 2100 I don’t have the energy to lift and my recovery is slow.

    I lost weight whilst lifting but then personally had to increase calories to improve the amount I could lift. I’m not very strong but I still work hard at it. I would also note that in the right lighting and when flexing I look ripped. In normal lighting I look like an average middle aged stocky short woman, with a lot of wobbly bits. Are you also being unkind to yourself, and maybe you aren’t as flabby as you think?

    Lifting is a long game, and it sounds to me like you’ve made a pretty good start!

    My main hang ups r.e. the way I look is my post 2 section pouch. It's been almost 6 years since the last one and despite trying my hardest I absolutely can not shift it. I have a shelf that sticks out just above where they cut me open and it makes me very self conscious in clothes.

    I'm also not in proportion, tiny waist, small shoulders and upper half but big hips and chunky thighs and a bum that sticks out for miles. The thing that baffles me is that people have said they wish they had my figure but I absolutely hate it!

    I'm tracking my calories for a 6 week period and will see what I weigh at the end of it and adjust as necessary. I keep saying once I'm at goal weight I'll eat at maintenance but my goal weight keeps getting lower and lower so it never actually happens 🙄

    This is a speculative question, but how is your posture?

    There are some postural habits common these days that can make the belly area look more prominent. Examples are anterior pelvic tilt (basically the top of hip bone being forward of the lower edge, when they should be stacked), the head-forward rounded-shoulders posture many of us get from phone/keyboard use (a rude name for it is "nerd neck"), or a tendency to lock the knees in a way that pushes midsection forward. These are not things a person can fix by just being conscious of them necessarily, but there are relevant exercises to help improve them.

    Any chance something like that is contributing?

    P.S. I looked at your MFP profile photo. If that's you, and relatively recent, I think you're being super hard on yourself, really very self-critical FWIW. We all have things we want to improve, but your description of yourself in words sounds much more extreme than that photo looks to me.

    Posture does definitely play a part, when I'm stood naturally my stomach looks bigger than it does if I make an effort to stand up straight.

    Depending on what photo you mean, the orange dress one was taken the other day. I sent it to someone who basically said I was too chunky to wear it because of my bum and my tummy.

    If it's the other one that was taken back in October when I was a little bit heavier.

    It was the orange dress. I looked at the photo as I was writing that reply.

    You may be able to get some benefits from posture work. Analyze what changes when you "stand up straight", and look for exercises to make that posture more automatic. Some of the "Bob & Brad" physical therapist videos on YouTube may have exercise suggestions if you can self-diagnose . . . they may even have something to help you do the diagnosis step, not sure.
  • Sinisterbarbie1
    Sinisterbarbie1 Posts: 711 Member
    edited March 2023
    I am a big fan of Pilates - especially if you can afford to take some reformer classes (that is the device with the springs and carriage that you lie or stand on and move back and forth by contracting and releasing your muscles). The exercises are great for lengthening/stretching and posture, and they use your body weight resistance in combination with the load of different strength springs which you add and remove to adjust tension to make the exercises more or less difficult, so they also build muscle - though differently than weight lifting. I always feel at least an inch taller after a session and with a good coach you will develop all sorts of tiny little muscles in places you never knew they existed that help you stand and walk straighter and push the right curvy bits out and pull the others in.
    As for the dress - you will look great if YOU like the dress and how it fits. Seeking the approval and reassurance of others is a waste of time regardless of what they say because you are the one who has to feel great to look great. And if someone is constantly putting you down it is about them, not about you. Wear the orange dress and leave them green with envy.
  • 34blast
    34blast Posts: 166 Member
    Highly suggest you buy the book Starting Strength by Mark Rippetoe. Even if you don't follow his program, he is the master at the main lifts and form

    Mad Cow is an intermediate program, you lifts are not intermediate level. It will work but not as efficiently as a novice linear progression program


    The book I pointed out will give good guideance on gaining strength, which after the basic novice phase will require gaining muscle e.g. weight

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