Starting over, Frustrated, feeling hopeless

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Replies

  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,224 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    Again, when you say "if I slip over 1900 I gain weight" . . . over 1900 for how long? If you start eating more, you'll see an instant scale increase from increased water retention (more carbs, which require more water retention to metabolize; more sodium) and probably higher food content in your digestive system on its way to becoming waste. That has a weight. If you keep eating at that higher level, those pounds will tend to stick around.

    If you keep eating right around 1900, do you keep gaining weight, or do you see a jump to a few pounds heavier, then hover there? It's still a question of 4-6 week (whole menstrual cycle) averages.

    I actually think your practical answer is in what others - like @springlering62 and @lietchi - have said. You've done the same thing repeatedly. It seems to involve fast loss and big changes** that don't stick, then regaining. (**2.9 pounds a week on average at your weight is too fast, IMO.)

    Do something different.

    Yeah, the 1900 kcal/day is like... my maintenance at ~260lbs. I've done it many times for a couple months or so to check. I'm fairly immobile most of the time (disabilities) and short, so it's not unusual in itself, it's just that the numbers get screwy when I *do* go under that... those weights from last year are at 1500 - 1600. That's what confuses me every time :lol:

    I think you all are right too though, it is too fast. I think I'm going to just stick at 1700-1800 for ... Idk... maybe 8 weeks would be best, for comparison at least, lol. And no keto or fasting or anything this time, cause, like you said, it doesn't stick. Just going to focus on logging that rather than "losing weight", I think.

    Thanks for all the feedback, it really does help. Got a lot to think about!

    In case it's not obvious: I could not be cheering harder for you to succeed, even though I'm a total stranger. Being at a healthy weight these last 7+ years has been a huge quality of life improvement for me, and getting active 20+ years ago similarly high impact on the quality of life front. I wish everyone good outcomes, including you, sincerely. So worth it. (You're clearly investing thought in figuring this out - great stuff - now go translate it into action. You can.)
  • Sissylynn1979
    Sissylynn1979 Posts: 26 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »

    In case it's not obvious: I could not be cheering harder for you to succeed, even though I'm a total stranger. Being at a healthy weight these last 7+ years has been a huge quality of life improvement for me, and getting active 20+ years ago similarly high impact on the quality of life front. I wish everyone good outcomes, including you, sincerely. So worth it. (You're clearly investing thought in figuring this out - great stuff - now go translate it into action. You can.)

    Oh I know! Absolutely taking it from a positive place :heart:

    I'm going to get there, just... trying to avoid making the same mistakes again, so I'm trying to logic it out, lol.

    Thank you again. I think I've got a plan fairly well figured out for the moment. Ya'll have been amazing!!
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,224 Member
    Keep letting us know how it's going, eh, if you feel up to it? (I always wonder how people's stories turn out - cheering for success on all goals, for sure!)
  • Sissylynn1979
    Sissylynn1979 Posts: 26 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    Keep letting us know how it's going, eh, if you feel up to it? (I always wonder how people's stories turn out - cheering for success on all goals, for sure!)

    I will! Honestly not sure if it should be this post or a new one... probably I will do a new one once I get in a routine so people don't end up replying to the original question like 4 months from now LOL
  • raenright
    raenright Posts: 54 Member

    If you were driving from Florida to New York and you took a wrong left turn somewhere, would you keep driving until you hit the Pacific Ocean? Of course not. You'd turn around somewhere a whole heckofalot sooner.

    Do that. :flowerforyou:

    This is the best advice!! Love it!! This is me too. It's not that i quit the programme that works, its that i quit for so long I'm right back at the start. I've made my peace with having off days, treat days and breaks for holidays but I keep weighing myself daily (hop up on scale soon as I brush my teeth first thing in the morning). I find the daily weigh ins are great for getting me used to the normal fluctuations in my weight and when I see it ticking up too much I get an immediate nudge to get back on track.

    I have found that going keto was great for giving my metabolism a kick-start. I seemed to be going into starvation mode when I stuck to my normal diet with just reduced calories so I wasn't losing weight. Def mixing up the food plan and calories per day is good to keep your metabolism guessing.

    I'd also recommend meditation. Not strictly a weight loss plan but I've found the more I brought a bit of calm, thoughtfulness and patience into my eating and food choices the more success I've had.

    Best of luck with your journey 🥳
  • FossilFusion
    FossilFusion Posts: 40 Member
    Sorry if this seems a bit harsh or abrupt. But this post isn't meant to be. Apologies I didn't read the whole thread either. So bare with me!

    Have you ever visualised what your future self would look like losing 'X' amount of weight? How would it feel? Would you be more confident and happy?

    You need to embrace the daily actions and habits to get there. Meaning, you need to learn to be happy and embrace the process.

    Every action you take today is a win for your future self. Don't put pressure on your future self for your past, and present slip ups.

    I would probably advise you to not track your calories for a little while and get used to eating more Protein, Fruit and Veg. And definitely not cut out any of your favourite foods. Just moderate them. Counting calories can come later when your confidence has increased.

    You can still be happy and lose weight without tracking.

    Understand this journey is a long one. Enjoy the process. You don't need accountability from anyone. No one can hold your hand forever on this journey 👍💪 you've got this. 🔥🎇
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,224 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    Keep letting us know how it's going, eh, if you feel up to it? (I always wonder how people's stories turn out - cheering for success on all goals, for sure!)

    I will! Honestly not sure if it should be this post or a new one... probably I will do a new one once I get in a routine so people don't end up replying to the original question like 4 months from now LOL

    Update this one: That'd be my vote. Some of us (OK, me) read a lot of posts here, but sometimes it's hard to remember the past or context. If you update this one - if only by posting a link to an update thread - those of us who replied here (and have notifications turned on) will get a notification that you've replied on the thread, not overlook it; and would have the context.

    But you should do what's right for you, more than what's right for me. ;)
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,224 Member

    Meditation and mindfulness can definitely be enhancements to a weight loss effort. Good stuff!
    raenright wrote: »

    If you were driving from Florida to New York and you took a wrong left turn somewhere, would you keep driving until you hit the Pacific Ocean? Of course not. You'd turn around somewhere a whole heckofalot sooner.

    Do that. :flowerforyou:

    This is the best advice!! Love it!! This is me too. It's not that i quit the programme that works, its that i quit for so long I'm right back at the start. I've made my peace with having off days, treat days and breaks for holidays but I keep weighing myself daily (hop up on scale soon as I brush my teeth first thing in the morning). I find the daily weigh ins are great for getting me used to the normal fluctuations in my weight and when I see it ticking up too much I get an immediate nudge to get back on track.

    I have found that going keto was great for giving my metabolism a kick-start. I seemed to be going into starvation mode when I stuck to my normal diet with just reduced calories so I wasn't losing weight. Def mixing up the food plan and calories per day is good to keep your metabolism guessing.

    Weight loss often starts with a big-ish scale drop from reduced average food waste in the digestive tract, plus reduced water retention from lower carbs (which require water retention in order to metabolize them) and sodium (which can cause retention to balance electrolyte levels in the body). Very little of that start-up drop is fat loss.

    Keto does tend to kick-start that drop in water retention, i.e., make it bigger and quicker.

    Starvation mode? Not true, at least not what most people mean by that phrase. If our bodies held on to fat because of reduced calories, all the many people who (sadly) starve to death worldwide every day would be fat corpses. They're not.

    There are some mechanisms the body will use to limp along at reduced calories that can drop calorie utilization a little (largely through fatigue), but they're not going to stop fat loss at low enough calories.

    Anyone who wants a serious science-based rundown on the myth and the reality should read the first few posts in this thread (the initial posts by the person who started the thread):

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1077746/starvation-mode-adaptive-thermogenesis-and-weight-loss/p1
    I'd also recommend meditation. Not strictly a weight loss plan but I've found the more I brought a bit of calm, thoughtfulness and patience into my eating and food choices the more success I've had.

    Best of luck with your journey 🥳

  • Sissylynn1979
    Sissylynn1979 Posts: 26 Member
    raenright wrote: »
    This is the best advice!! Love it!! This is me too. It's not that i quit the programme that works, its that i quit for so long I'm right back at the start. I've made my peace with having off days, treat days and breaks for holidays but I keep weighing myself daily (hop up on scale soon as I brush my teeth first thing in the morning). I find the daily weigh ins are great for getting me used to the normal fluctuations in my weight and when I see it ticking up too much I get an immediate nudge to get back on track.

    I have found that going keto was great for giving my metabolism a kick-start. I seemed to be going into starvation mode when I stuck to my normal diet with just reduced calories so I wasn't losing weight. Def mixing up the food plan and calories per day is good to keep your metabolism guessing.

    I'd also recommend meditation. Not strictly a weight loss plan but I've found the more I brought a bit of calm, thoughtfulness and patience into my eating and food choices the more success I've had.

    Best of luck with your journey 🥳

    I'm glad other people are getting help from this too! And I always had a lot of loss with "changing it up"

    Be careful, though, starvation-mode is kind of a myth... or rather, it's a term people have taken entirely out of context!

    Definitely going to try the meditation thing, though!

    Thanks for the reply, and Best luck on your journey too!!


    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    Update this one: That'd be my vote. Some of us (OK, me) read a lot of posts here, but sometimes it's hard to remember the past or context. If you update this one - if only by posting a link to an update thread - those of us who replied here (and have notifications turned on) will get a notification that you've replied on the thread, not overlook it; and would have the context.

    But you should do what's right for you, more than what's right for me. ;)

    Lol, I probably will at least link them! It looks like it already helped someone else, and I suppose it would be easier with the context as well. Thanks again, you're a huge help!

    (Also, thank you for providing more context on the "starvation mode" thing. Always feel like I'm talking into a void when I refute that!

  • raenright
    raenright Posts: 54 Member

    Be careful, though, starvation-mode is kind of a myth... or rather, it's a term people have taken entirely out of context!

    Yeah I guess I'm using the wrong term but from my own experience I need to keep my body guessing, when I do restrict calories to a set 1500 a day (and keep tracking) ill initially lose some weight but then its like my metabolism adapts and says "oh we live off 1500 now OK I can work with that" and my weight will plateau for 4 or 5 months!! Which I realise makes no logical sense in the sense of calories in to calories out, maintain a calories deficit and lose weight but that's what happens me......So rather than a set amount of calories to aim for I go for a range, some days I go higher some lower, a month keto or low carb, mix it up.

    I think it's important to get to know your own body's reactions and find what fits 🥳
  • KatnissFit
    KatnissFit Posts: 1 Member
    You CAN stick with it.

    It's okay to have an off day or even an off week on holiday... I had a ton of those along the way. But I lost my 80 pounds back in 2007-08 and I've kept it off. I'm not gonna blow sunshine at you and say it's been easy.

    Get back at it, though. ASAP.


    If you were driving from Florida to New York and you took a wrong left turn somewhere, would you keep driving until you hit the Pacific Ocean? Of course not. You'd turn around somewhere a whole heckofalot sooner.

    Do that. :flowerforyou:

    that was very inspiring! I congratulate you one your insight and frankness
  • parkergazette
    parkergazette Posts: 1 Member
    You story is ABSOLUTELY my story, including the time line and numbers. I got back on this app daily five weeks ago and have gained three pounds. It's yard work/gardening season and I'm outdoors getting exercise, feeling great. Then I hit the kitchen to make dinner and don't stop eating until I go to bed. But, it's Monday again and reading all of your words remind me I'm not alone. One day at a time. Spend the kitchen time making grab and go celery and carrot bags, a big green salad and Brita water bottles. Then GET OUT of the kitchen. I am 81 days until a family cruise with a dozen people who take photos constantly. I love these people and I don't want to hide from their cameras. I look to all of you for the reminders I need to keep focused. Thanks in advance.
  • Sissylynn1979
    Sissylynn1979 Posts: 26 Member
    You story is ABSOLUTELY my story, including the time line and numbers. I got back on this app daily five weeks ago and have gained three pounds. It's yard work/gardening season and I'm outdoors getting exercise, feeling great. Then I hit the kitchen to make dinner and don't stop eating until I go to bed. But, it's Monday again and reading all of your words remind me I'm not alone. One day at a time. Spend the kitchen time making grab and go celery and carrot bags, a big green salad and Brita water bottles. Then GET OUT of the kitchen. I am 81 days until a family cruise with a dozen people who take photos constantly. I love these people and I don't want to hide from their cameras. I look to all of you for the reminders I need to keep focused. Thanks in advance.

    I had someone else message me about having the same sort of numbers/timeline also! Maybe we're triplets, separated at brunch, lol.

    But seriously... I think there's something *to* the timeline thing. Someone mentioned the season change in one of the comments on this thread, and I think that might have a LOT to do with it, for me. Maybe it's the same for you? I'm now making a plan for what to do with the *next* season change, so I can hopefully prepare in advance, lol