Help! How do I do this?!

SunKissed1989 · April 2023

So, I've always struggled with my weight. About 10 years ago, I managed to lose 2.5 stone in 2 years on here. At the time, I was studying for my Postgraduate degree, living in student accommodation with a gym on my doorstep for only £8 a month! I had a weekend job in BHS where I was on my feet for several hours a day. I also didn't have a car, which meant lots of walking to and from public transport to get around.
Fast forward 10 years, I'm now going through a separation, working full time, have a 16 month old DD to look after and trying to navigate a new world where we're taught to love our body, diet culture is bad and life is about more than just your weight.
Unfortunately, I really don't love my body. I love what it was able to do in that it gave me my beautiful daughter, but I hate how it looks and that I can no longer just pick clothes up off the rail with confidence that they'll fit.
I'm 5ft 4" and last night weighed 13 stone. At my lowest weight, I was 10 stone 1lb and fitted comfortably into size 12 clothes (size 10 tops in some cases).

I'm looking at improving my sleep habits as, I'll fully admit, I have a bad phone addiction and spend most nights scrolling online instead of just putting my head down for the night. Have heard this could help in terms of losing weight.
I suppose I just want to be healthier overall.

Don't know why I'm posting this but wondered if anyone is in a similar position or would like to adopt new healthy habits in a bid to become healthier and lose weight?

herringboxes · April 2023

Hi, I just wanted to post an encouragement to you! You can do it! You have a lot on your shoulders and practicing self care is very important.

I personally would recommend making small changes that you feel you can keep up with forever. This is healthier and more sustainable than making huge changes that you might feel too run down to continue.

I understand the phone addiction. We get run down and need downtime, and we crave it even more than sleep. I think being a single parent of a toddler really makes it hard to carve out some downtime so the phone late at night becomes the only outlet. Can you think of ways you can proactively get more you time, even a little? I know it’s hard.

Better sleep will not magically take weight off, but it will get you to a place where you have more physical and emotional energy to be self disciplined. Hard to be disciplined when our tank is empty. So make it a priority, notice the positive changes, and do the next thing.

While I am cheering for you to meet your goals, keep in mind that maintenance is a worthwhile goal if you have too much else going on - just keep it in mind as Plan B.

Personally, I found that cutting sugar out of my diet unlocked my ability to do more. I used to feel weak and crummy and needed to eat to keep my blood sugar up but not because I needed the calories. Once I got off that train, I was suddenly able to cut calories and feel fine, whereas before I just couldn’t without feeling like I was going to pass out.

After that, starting exercise - nothing crazy - helped me generate more energy and feel better.

I hope you can figure out how the pieces fit together for you to meet your goals!

SunKissed1989 · April 2023

Thank you so much.
I'm lucky that my ex and I have a 50/50 care arrangement for our daughter, so I get 3 nights to myself (from Sunday afternoon to Wednesday after work). I've been enjoying baths and reading again (rediscovered an author I loved YEARS ago) so that's a lovely distraction.
My phone is my ultimate default! I reach for it when I'm bored, stressed etc...its like a clutch! Trying to use it for worthwhile things like taking photos of my daughter, normal phone stuff and mobile banking instead of playing games when I'm procrastinating! I'm very aware my attention span has depleted recently and I hate that!

I'm trying to be more mindful about what I eat and making conscious decisions instead of eating something out of habit or just grabbing something because its there. Hoping planning my meals might help me there as well.

Just trying to take things a day at a time I think will help me. Your words of encouragement have given me a wee boost though, so thanks again 😊

herringboxes · April 2023

I think your plan sounds great!

The 50/50 custody sounds like it does give you some recharge time, which is great. Maybe now is the time that you feel like you have enough in the tank to start making some changes. Go for it!

sarahq81 · April 2023

My height and weight are very similar to yours and I’ve always struggled to stay slim in comparison to my siblings.
I have been going up and down from 11-12st and size 14 for the last 2 years whilst I adapt to life with 2 small kids and a new job. I really struggled whilst I was still breastfeeding through the night and working in the day.

So, the best thing I have found is to get some kind of exercise into my routine. As in, I walk or cycle as part of my commute, so no extra time is needed. Or I take the kids on a long walk, so I’m combining their fun with burning some calories.

As far as food goes I eat whatever I like, I’ve stopped logging and I make sure my portions are small. Ive also saved money this way because the leftovers last longer!

I’m one pound away from breaking the 11st barrier… pray for me! 😬😬😬

You can do it, I think you just need a good routine and don’t neglect yourself. Good luck.

Help! How do I do this?!

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