cheater or cheatee?

Options
bry_all01
bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
in Chit-Chat
if there is a relationship that goes south, one partner cheats, is it the cheaters or cheatees fault? I mean, if people can't keep their partner happy, all they have to do is try harder, right? *gag*

My response: uh, no, NEVER. If someone wants more *kitten* (secretly), they shouldn't have signed the legally biding document saying they would only have the one and only forever and always..... or they should sign a new legally (un) binding document to take it away. So, no, it is NOT the person who got cheated ons fault, but the cheater - ALWAYS.
«13

Replies

  • DannyMussels
    DannyMussels Posts: 1,842 Member
    Options
    Is there a story behind this?
  • hibee_rye
    hibee_rye Posts: 18 Member
    Options
    Sorry,

    Although I agree in principle I have seen too many different situation to make this a certain 'rule'.

    The major one that springs to mind is abuse, either physical or psychological, that can drive a partner to 'cheat'. What do you do with that? Fear and insecurity can do funny things to a person's mind or sensibilities. Not always as easy as just saying - it's always the cheater's fault...
  • 99Tinkerbell
    99Tinkerbell Posts: 384
    Options
    I say once a cheater always a cheater so get out as soon as you can. I don't believe you make someone cheat, they will tell you it was you but that's the guilt talking!
  • hush7hush
    hush7hush Posts: 2,273 Member
    Options
    I cheated on a boyfriend once because he told me that I was fat and no one would ever love me.

    I proved him wrong.
  • MuffinMan25
    MuffinMan25 Posts: 110
    Options
    All Male Species are "Cheaters" by nature. The drive to "Pass on" their genes to a new generation. I have seen many documentaries relating to this subject.

    Do I think married people should cheat? No

    :tongue:
  • obstacleone
    obstacleone Posts: 228
    Options
    I cheated on a boyfriend once because he told me that I was fat and no one would ever love me.

    I proved him wrong.

    I don't know how to respond to this.
    How did you prove him wrong?

    Did the person you cheat on him with love you?
    did he love you because you cheated on him?
    what did you teach him besides not to trust you?
  • mrmarius
    mrmarius Posts: 1,802 Member
    Options
    i agree, however some people give the other a push towards cheating.. that said i do.agree its cheaters fault
  • MARI1010
    MARI1010 Posts: 76 Member
    Options
    if there is a relationship that goes south, one partner cheats, is it the cheaters or cheatees fault? I mean, if people can't keep their partner happy, all they have to do is try harder, right? *gag*

    My response: uh, no, NEVER. If someone wants more *kitten* (secretly), they shouldn't have signed the legally biding document saying they would only have the one and only forever and always..... or they should sign a new legally (un) binding document to take it away. So, no, it is NOT the person who got cheated ons fault, but the cheater - ALWAYS.

    I have a strong feeling i know the root of this story. Maybe i dont know sh*** but it sounds like a hunch ive had.And i totally agree with your opinion. Just get a dicorce obviously that relationship isnt fulfilling you and im sure it goes deeper than just the lack of sex.
  • RocketsGirl75
    RocketsGirl75 Posts: 648
    Options
    I disagree. I think that every situation is different. I think sometime there are actions on both sides that drive someone to cheat. Do I think it is right? No. But I do think that in SOME situations both parties have to look at what they did that contributed to that situation.
  • MelMoly
    MelMoly Posts: 1,303 Member
    Options
    I disagree. I think that every situation is different. I think sometime there are actions on both sides that drive someone to cheat. Do I think it is right? No. But I do think that in SOME situations both parties have to look at what they did that contributed to that situation.

    I agree... with your disagree...
  • MARI1010
    MARI1010 Posts: 76 Member
    Options
    I disagree. I think that every situation is different. I think sometime there are actions on both sides that drive someone to cheat. Do I think it is right? No. But I do think that in SOME situations both parties have to look at what they did that contributed to that situation.

    Yeah i agree in reality its easy to judge and say thats just bot right. But be in that persons shoes and its a whole other demon. Its hard when you feel like youre comitted to a relationship but you just wish things could be different. Sometimes people cheat to not basically not "hurt" the other person more by giving up on that relationship/marriage and try and stick it out while getting their kicks on the side meanwhile feeling completely empty in that relationship. Its really sad on both ends usually. Theres also a reason to why a person cheats. Now some are straight up dogs who try and get as much *kitten* as possible but some really arent.
  • Gigi_licious
    Gigi_licious Posts: 1,185 Member
    Options
    Is there a story behind this?

    Yes, but it would be against forum rules to explain.

    Bry, CHEATER not cheatee, contrary to a certain belief that I am not at liberty to discuss since it would violate forum rule number 14 that I keep seeing pop up.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    Options
    I think you're responsible for your own cheat. Don't blame the other woman/man. Don't blame your spouse; blame yourself for being too much of a wimp to get out of your miserable relationship. Is it awful that your partner doesn't want to touch you, thinks of you as a fixture rather than a person, acts like your needs don't matter? Yeah, but what are you accomplishing by cheating? You're making a bad relationship worse. Just GTFO and keep it movin'.
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
    Options
    if there is a relationship that goes south, one partner cheats, is it the cheaters or cheatees fault? I mean, if people can't keep their partner happy, all they have to do is try harder, right? *gag*

    My response: uh, no, NEVER. If someone wants more *kitten* (secretly), they shouldn't have signed the legally biding document saying they would only have the one and only forever and always..... or they should sign a new legally (un) binding document to take it away. So, no, it is NOT the person who got cheated ons fault, but the cheater - ALWAYS.

    Let me pretense this with the note "No one individual will Ever fully 100% truly satisfy another" - and not just sexually.

    Life is all about choices and respect. Without communication in the relationship, it is destined to fail, and usually because one cheats on the other. The issue of complacency within relationships is at an extreme level these day. That's one reason we have so many failed relationships and divorces.

    If both people within the relationship respect one another, as well as themselves, then this issue never arises. They communicate their issues. If they do not, then the choices they make will ultimate lead to the destruction of what they have.

    Society, over the years, has deemed that it is OK to be greedy and always want more...the question when it comes to this...Can you ecognize it, and choose respectfully?

    as for
    I mean, if people can't keep their partner happy, all they have to do is try harder, right?
    Ths is only partly correct. Because if only on half of the relationship is doing so, the other will still lead to failure.

    As for me, the frst one was put to the curb. The second was resolved out of respect for the vows we took and the love for one another. the results were an AMAZING sex life
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
    Options
    I disagree. I think that every situation is different. I think sometime there are actions on both sides that drive someone to cheat. Do I think it is right? No. But I do think that in SOME situations both parties have to look at what they did that contributed to that situation.

    This is a pot of S H I T

    There is not situation that makes it OK to cheat.
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
    Options
    All Male Species are "Cheaters" by nature. The drive to "Pass on" their genes to a new generation. I have seen many documentaries relating to this subject.

    Do I think married people should cheat? No

    :tongue:


    You re incorrect and need to get your personally prejudices and interpretation of others corrected.
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
    Options
    I cheated on a boyfriend once because he told me that I was fat and no one would ever love me.

    I proved him wrong.


    No, you proved that you are easy and have no respect. Love isn't based on lies, hate, or spite.
  • bahrainbel_2
    bahrainbel_2 Posts: 79
    Options
    There's no one size fits all.
    I've cheated, I've been cheated on, in the same relationship. Needless to say, that relationship is now over. Nothing is black and white.
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
    Options
    There's no one size fits all.
    I've cheated, I've been cheated on, in the same relationship. Needless to say, that relationship is now over. Nothing is black and white.

    Respect and communication is black and white.
  • bahrainbel_2
    bahrainbel_2 Posts: 79
    Options
    I cheated on a boyfriend once because he told me that I was fat and no one would ever love me.

    I proved him wrong.


    No, you proved that you are easy and have no respect. Love isn't based on lies, hate, or spite.

    LOLOL!!!! I would say the boyfrriend was being pretty spiteful and hateful and not showing much respect :-/. Yes, cheating is never right, but calling someone who has been degraded by a loved one easy is ridiculous. Naive, yes, easy....stop being so judgemental.

Categories