I'll always be fat.
Jaidyn1023
Posts: 1 Member
I have been fat for as long as I can remember. I've tried everything recommended to me, but absolutely nothing works. I would lose about 4-10 lbs but immediately pack it back on. I am so ashamed of myself, I can't seem to figure out how to fix this. I just feel like I'll be like this for the rest of my life. Has anyone else felt like this? If so, how did you overcome it?
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Replies
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You've tried *everything*? You need to step back and realize you can make changes. The only thing in your way is yourself. You've tried everything, but chose to give up each time. Why? Hunger? Boredom? If you want to change, then you have to change.6
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I have felt the same with a slight difference I know it’s my fault. I can’t seem stay consistent with it! The only way is to be ruthless with yourself and consistently working. Set a goal for 2 years not 2 months and I’m sure it will help4
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I absolutely hear where you're coming from. It's so demoralising when you try but always eventually slip up. I'm on a ridiculously slow weight loss journey with lots of slips.
Couple tips you may find useful:
- Figure out your big picture why, write it out and stick it to the fridge. Beyond "cause I want to lose weight" what's the big why? To feel stronger and more confident, to feel comfortable in your own skin, medical reasons family reasons etc
- Every day is a fresh start. Healthy eating doesn't need to start on a Monday morning. (This is still a big one for me)
- It takes about 3000 calories over your base rate to actually gain a pound of fat but human bodies and super annoying and weight fluctuates for the slightest thing eg hormones, salt. Get used to weighing yourself regularly, even every day, to get an idea of your normal body fluctuations.
- You can eat whatever you want but eat mindfully. Have the burger and chips but can you up the nutritional content of the meal just a bit by adding a glass of juice or a salad or fruit for dessert?
- it takes a lot of mental strength and discipline to stick with the boredom of doing something after the initial motivation has worn off. Be kind to yourself! Find some non-food treats like a spa day or bubble bath and book them in your calendar to make sure you're getting enough rewards and pick-me-ups to keep you going
Best of luck on your journey 🥳8 -
Be willing to make changes.
That burger that @raenright mentioned? Looo for low fat % meats. We had burgers last night that were 140 calories per four ounces. I made fries in the aircrisper with 6 grams olive oil (3 each) instead of deep fried. There are very good buns available that are 80 calories apiece and low sugar ketchup and mayo, all adding up to a very nice dinner with a big burger and huge pile of fries for well under 600 calories.
Substitute diet for sugar soda
Gotta eat out? Learn the healthiest menu choices. Breaded onion rings are a fraction the calories of fast food French fries.
Try zero cal or balsamic dressings. Lower fat cheeses.
Find a healthy snack you love. My day is joy complete now without a filling bowl with a serving of cottage cheese, frozen blueberries, a small spoonful of GrapeNuts, and a dash of blueberry balsamic. I’m at the point if I had to choose this versus my old nemesis, chocolate, my bowl would def win.
Make small changes you can control til they add up to larger changes.1 -
And change your mind set. One thing I’ve learned along the way is, we believe what we tell ourselves. If you run around moaning “I’ll always be fat”, well guess what? You probably will because you’ve given yourself an excuse and permission to be so.9
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Jaidyn1023 wrote: »I have been fat for as long as I can remember. I've tried everything recommended to me, but absolutely nothing works. I would lose about 4-10 lbs but immediately pack it back on. I am so ashamed of myself, I can't seem to figure out how to fix this. I just feel like I'll be like this for the rest of my life. Has anyone else felt like this? If so, how did you overcome it?
Maybe you're going in too hard.
Try for "Lose 1 pound per week" in the Goals settings here. Be honest with your Activity Level setting according to the choices given in the Goals.
If you exercise enter it into the "Exercise" section and eat that extra couple hundred calories.
Keep eating the food you like, just smaller portions. Trying to live on chicken breast and dry broccoli is a recipe for Failure.
Log all food. Even on those days where you [might] eat a whole pizza. Log it. Learn from it, but don't beat yourself up and don't try to "make up for it" tomorrow by starving yourself.
The binge/restrict cycle is the worst thing you can do.
Slow. Like the turtle.
Incrementally you'll make better choices. Sub Greek yogurt for ice cream. Use less butter. Have dessert on the weekend, but fruit after dinner during the week.
Losing weight is hard at first. Being fat is hard forever. Choose your hard.11 -
Have you visited a bariatric doctor/surgeon? Those specialists provide weight loss programs to and work with patients to address weight issues, they don’t only perform surgery. If you’re able to and haven’t yet, I’d have a serious discussion about your weight with your PCM and then maybe seek assistance from a bariatric specialist. Weight management is a medical condition like anything else, so treat it as such and try to be objective toward yourself. Exhausting and abusing yourself over a medical condition will only make the situation more difficult. And if it helps, the majority of adults in the U.S. are considered medically “fat,” you’re absolutely not alone.
https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/obesity-prevention-source/obesity-trends-original/obesity-rates-worldwide/4 -
Instead of looking at weight loss as a “dieting” thing that you’ll do for a short period of time, start to think of it as more of a “doing better forever” kind of thing. It’s pretty common to lose 5 or 10 pounds, then someone orders a pizza and you eat a lot of it and then you feel like you’ve undone all your hard work. You haven’t! And you want to be able to eat pizza sometimes! The people who are successful just go right back to making healthier choices with the next meal.
My approach has been to curate a collection of lower-calorie foods I love, and they make up 80 percent of my meals. There are certain things I LOVE and crave and I don’t want to make them low calorie… like cheeseburgers. Oh how I love a giant cheeseburger! And when I want one, I won’t be happy with less. BUT… I don’t eat them all the time. I log it in my food diary if I do. I might walk more steps that day, or eat lighter the next day, but I am not going to beat myself up or get discouraged for “cheating.”
It’s taken me 6 months of diligent logging to lose 23 pounds. I’ve logged a good number of 3000+ calorie days, and eaten quite a few cheeseburgers. Most of my days are 1600-1800 calories. Sometimes I do 1200 if I’m home, able to cook, and have a fridge full of vegetables.
That said, you need to craft your own plan that works for you. I have a friend who likes the structure of having a plan spelled out for her; I can’t do that. I have another friend who strives to make the healthiest choice possible at all times—she orders grilled fish or chicken and steamed veggies at restaurants. That’s also not my style… I eat a lot of chicken and fish at home! But it works for her. Neither of these friends logs their calories like I do and they think I’m slightly obsessive. Everyone is different.
Find YOUR groove, and commit to consistency. You can do it.7 -
Have you been to the doctor? I would really suggest going and getting a full blood panel. I had a really hard time losing weight for so long and would get dizzy and sick when trying. Come to find out I have hashimotos. After finding that out, it all made sense. I'm now treating my underlying condition and have devised a plan with my doctors and am losing without feeling like I'm dying and with actual energy to do things. It's like night and day. If something feels off, it probably is. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise. Find out what it is and you'll feel better all around and be able to do the things you want. 🤗0
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I have absolutely felt this way before, and I think you might benefit from looking at my motivational phrases I made up for myself This is what I have in the intro section:
HOW TO STOP HATING THE DIETING PART
My own advice I need to follow
If the food in the store is from the earth, of course you're fine. The trouble is PACKAGED food. The royals do not eat any packaged food, so I tell myself that I'm eating like a royal.
Tell yourself it's simple and easy to stop eating bad food even though it feels impossible to resist at times. If you give in, that doesn't mean you give up your belief. Eat natural food that agrees with your body and digests easily; whole wheat digests easily, whereas white flour digests much slower.
Furthermore, sugar makes your blood sticky, and the mosquitos LOVE that. I really will eat like a whole package of chocolate, but then I imagine how all of that chocolate would look melted if someone smeared it all over the kitchen floor. Imagine whatever guilty pleasure that keeps setting you back as a mess embedded into different types of floors-your body is one of those floors. What will be the easiest to clean up? I'd rather clean up peaches than melted chocolate.
I mess up regularly which I'm trying to stop doing. I want to blog like this regularly- at least once a week- until I'm back to a CLEAN diet. I like my sugar binges, but I have to eat from the earth- not from the store.
I hope me trying to follow my own advice helps you too!
P.S. I'm terrible at food logging.1 -
I’m glad you’re here, getting support is really key to help motivate us, through both successes and failures. So you are already taking steps to change by reaching out.
I encourage you to do just TWO things for now:
First, start logging your food. It will get easier and faster. Just writing it down really helps. Do the mfp tutorials to find shortcuts and make it easier. So even if you are terrible at first, give it a good effort! It’s really really helped me more than anything!
Second, please make an appointment with your doctor to specifically discuss your overall health and weight loss goals. Medical treatment for obesity continues to improve, and you may need tests to rule out contributing conditions. Your dr may also have other recommendations for support, and to help combat the cravings.
I am with you, this is hard work. But we can do it. And every day is a new start!
Hugs
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verysilentscarlett wrote: »Tell yourself it's simple and easy to stop eating bad food even though it feels impossible to resist at times. If you give in, that doesn't mean you give up your belief. Eat natural food that agrees with your body and digests easily; whole wheat digests easily, whereas white flour digests much slower.
Furthermore, sugar makes your blood sticky, and the mosquitos LOVE that. I really will eat like a whole package of chocolate, but then I imagine how all of that chocolate would look melted if someone smeared it all over the kitchen floor. Imagine whatever guilty pleasure that keeps setting you back as a mess embedded into different types of floors-your body is one of those floors. What will be the easiest to clean up? I'd rather clean up peaches than melted chocolate.
P.S. I'm terrible at food logging.
Please don't do any of this, OP. Setting up unhealthy relationships with food will only exacerbate a problem. There aren't "bad foods." There are only neuroses surrounding different foods. Foods in packages are not the devil. Guilt is overrated.
Logging your food accurately is going to get you moving in the right direction. Keep all your favorite foods and eat less of them. If you find it difficult to enjoy favorites moderately, keep them out of the house for a while. But don't demonize any foods -- it's counterproductive. Listen to the folks who say to lose slowly... because you want your new & improved habits to become part of your life.
Every day does not have to be perfect.
There's no race. There's no rush. There's no finish line. But there are remarkable payoffs to shedding excess weight and proving (maybe only to yourself) that you CAN take control.
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vivmom2014 wrote: »verysilentscarlett wrote: »Tell yourself it's simple and easy to stop eating bad food even though it feels impossible to resist at times. If you give in, that doesn't mean you give up your belief. Eat natural food that agrees with your body and digests easily; whole wheat digests easily, whereas white flour digests much slower.
Furthermore, sugar makes your blood sticky, and the mosquitos LOVE that. I really will eat like a whole package of chocolate, but then I imagine how all of that chocolate would look melted if someone smeared it all over the kitchen floor. Imagine whatever guilty pleasure that keeps setting you back as a mess embedded into different types of floors-your body is one of those floors. What will be the easiest to clean up? I'd rather clean up peaches than melted chocolate.
P.S. I'm terrible at food logging.
Please don't do any of this, OP. Setting up unhealthy relationships with food will only exacerbate a problem. There aren't "bad foods." There are only neuroses surrounding different foods. Foods in packages are not the devil. Guilt is overrated.
Logging your food accurately is going to get you moving in the right direction. Keep all your favorite foods and eat less of them. If you find it difficult to enjoy favorites moderately, keep them out of the house for a while. But don't demonize any foods -- it's counterproductive. Listen to the folks who say to lose slowly... because you want your new & improved habits to become part of your life.
Every day does not have to be perfect.
There's no race. There's no rush. There's no finish line. But there are remarkable payoffs to shedding excess weight and proving (maybe only to yourself) that you CAN take control.
^^Second. Great advice.2 -
It hasn't worked before because you didn't make lifestyle changes that you could stick to. Like someone said above, just start tracking your calories. It will be eye opening, then decide where you can make a substitution or something you can eat less often. Then just keep making small changes and they will eventually stick. I used to eat candy/chocolate every single day and thought I had to have it. It became a habit because I would see it every time I would walk into the convenience store right by the door. They moved it one day, and I was too lazy to walk around to find where they put it. So I quit having it. Now, I don't miss it.
So you need to develop some new habits and get rid of old ones. Do them a few at a time, and you won't be so overwhelmed, and have a better chance at sticking to it.1 -
It doesn’t matter! Learn to exercise and get more practice exercising! You need to not just try, you need more time practicing. Trying is by definition not enough time to practice something to learn it.2
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It sounds like your thinking is what's holding you back. There's power in our words. If we speak negative things over ourselves, that's what we will attract. Try telling yourself that you can do it.0
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Sadly, OP never came back after the first day.
My heart hurts for some of these folks, while my head says, coming to simply do a drive-by whinge accomplishes absolutely zero.1 -
Accept the fatness and lift moderately heavy weights and feel like King Kong by lifting dumbbells or barbells and doing some weight machines0
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Accept the fatness and lift moderately heavy weights and feel like King Kong by lifting dumbbells or barbells and doing some weight machines
I’m hoping you said this flippantly, but…..
Speaking as a woman- and even as an older, lazy never-brushes-her-hair-or-puts-on-makeup one at that, King Kong is the last thing I want to look like.
This perpetuates the myth that woman who lift look bulky and unnaturally muscular.
While I admire the women who do bodybuilding and competitive stuff, it takes a hella lot more work, study and focused effort to get there than most the rest of us are willing to put in. Full time job level, from what I’ve seen.
Typically, I lift or do machines in the gym four times a week. I have muscle and “tone”, but can assure you, I do not look like King Kong.
Let’s stop telling women this stuff. Lifting is magnificent and challenging and fun and empowering and great for rebuilding and maintaining health, and all women ought to at least consider it. That doesn’t happen because sweet delicate little flowers hear this King Kong nonsense and then, well, perish the very thought!!!!1 -
Conceding to "I'll always be fat" will mean that your effort will be lackluster. You NEED to change your mindset to a more optimistic one and that IF you follow a good program and eating regimen, you'll be less fat. Having done this for over 30 years with people, I've had to do different programs with many to help them achieve their goal, but the one thing they had in common is that they were consistent.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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If you don't believe in yourself, then the battle has already been lost before it's even started.0
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