Snoring partner

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  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,898 Member
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    penguinmama87 wrote: »
    ythannah wrote: »
    Mrsrobinsoncl wrote: »
    ericatoday1 wrote: »
    Not to be that person, but as somebody who has dealt with this, I’ve learned that a lot of the irritation comes from my choice to be annoyed by it I’ve noticed it’s actually pretty easy to ignore and kind of use it as white noise if I look at it that way

    That might work for you, but some people are very light sleepers and some are very loud snorers. There is absolutely no way I can ignore it and go back to sleep. Mine will wake me up in another room with his snoring.

    I defy anyone to use "mind over matter" tricks to sleep when there's a chainsaw going next to you. :D The SO's snoring is heavy enough to make the mattress vibrate and he's audible from three rooms away with closed doors. (yes, he probably has sleep apnea and no, he has no interest in a sleep study)

    I think the point is less "pretend the sound isn't actually loud," and more "don't hold onto resentment and let it fester." There's more room to actually do something about it if OP decides not to be helpless, angry, bitter or resentful. If the only solution is: the partner has to feel bad about it and he has to stop snoring, there's a lot less within OP's control. She can be annoyed about it, but will it help her actually get any sleep at night?

    I don't know about anyone else, but IME there's nothing that keeps me up at night like bitter anger. IMO, not worth it.

    Sure, resentment is also bad for sleep. But take away the resentment about the chainsaw, and there is still a chainsaw keeping you up.

    I started using Mack's ear seals then, and still use them to this day, but they are not enough for me when a snorer is in the room with me.
  • Borntexan43
    Borntexan43 Posts: 10 Member
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    honeybunsteal wrote: »
    How to get sleep n stay asleep with a person who snores all night every night. They claim they don't snore even when I record it. Plus he won't seek medical attention. There is no spare bedroom

    I tried the nudge, mine snores on every side. I tried the couch, his snore is so loud I hear it still but it's not where I want to push him out of the bed accidentally on purpose lol. If you find the answer let me know.
  • sarabushby
    sarabushby Posts: 784 Member
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    There are headbands that you can wear to sleep that have speakers built in, you could try them with white noise.

    I use an app called Sleep Cycle mainly because it is a gentle alarm to wake you when you are naturally most awake within a timeframe you set, eg 30mins. It also records all the noises throughout the night. If you used it for a week it might be helpful to a) show him how much of an issue it is and b) reassure yourself how much sleep you did actually get despite the interruptions - which links back to the post about trying to minimise how much it winds you up.

    I honestly feel for you because it would drive me nuts as a light sleeper and I’d have to lay down the law and say go get it fixed or pack your bags.
  • ilfaith
    ilfaith Posts: 16,770 Member
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    My husband snores, but fortunately he’s not super loud…just constant. I am a pretty deep sleeper (I credit having lived as a child in an apartment in the flight path of JFK), so if I fall asleep first, his snoring doesn’t wake me. If he goes to bed before I do, I play white noise on the Alexa, adjusting the volume as needed to drown him out.
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,287 Member
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    It is a miserable life living with a snorer who can care less. After 20 years of being sleep deprived.. trust me. you'll find a way. Get a bigger place with two bedrooms ... it is only fair.. and your sleep and health matter too.

    Maybe get an objective counselor for a few sessions to get your partner to come to a solution where you both get treated equally.
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 9,070 Member
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    We got a wedge pillow (shaped like a triangle) which props up my upper torso by about 15 degrees. My snoring has all but disappeared, which my wife loves. My recurring acid reflux has all but disappeared, which I love.
  • PeachHibiscus
    PeachHibiscus Posts: 163 Member
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    honeybunsteal wrote: »
    Plus he won't seek medical attention.

    I know you can't force anyone to do anything but it's a shame that he won't seek medical attention. I snored for years and blamed it on a deviated septum instead of admitting that I might have sleep apnea. I finally did a sleep study and guess what? Mild sleep apnea.

    I use a CPAP now and the difference in my quality of sleep is life changing. I'd like to kick myself for not taking care of this years ago. My husband has had a CPAP for our entire relationship so I had no real excuse not to do a sleep study other than my own laziness and denial.

  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,868 Member
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    honeybunsteal wrote: »
    How to get sleep n stay asleep with a person who snores all night every night. They claim they don't snore even when I record it. Plus he won't seek medical attention. There is no spare bedroom

    Separate beds with our heads in the opposite corners of the room.
    Earplugs.
    siberiantarragon wrote: »
    tomcustombuilder wrote: »
    Nudge em. They'll wake up and maybe turn over. If it's reaaly bad and you aren't getting your sleep in that you need then it's the couch

    When I tried that with my partner he would roll back over onto his back as soon as he went back to sleep, LOL.

    In my case he acknowledges he snores but won't go to a sleep specialist. He says that he's going to go to one but then never does it. I'm not sure why that is. Part of it is I once went to a sleep specialist for my insomnia who was really mean and condescending, and my partner was there, so now he thinks all sleep specialists will be that way for some reason. Part of it might be fear.

    Where do you even find a sleep specialist?
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,868 Member
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    ericatoday1 wrote: »
    Not to be that person, but as somebody who has dealt with this, I’ve learned that a lot of the irritation comes from my choice to be annoyed by it I’ve noticed it’s actually pretty easy to ignore and kind of use it as white noise if I look at it that way

    If it is regular and not very loud, that's true.

    But when it's irregular and the volume is all over the place ... you can try to think positively, but you probably won't succeed.
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,868 Member
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    The_cuteness wrote: »
    I got my husband to stop snoring. He said his nose was stuffy every night. I get him to use a steroid nasal spray every day and he takes a decongestant tablet before bed every night. I also bought an air purifier for our bedroom. He rarely snores anymore, and he says he sleeps better. Also, the air purifier is white noise so if he does snore a little, it helps me to not wake up.

    Has his doctor commented on or given recommendations about "rebound" effects from using medications every day?
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,868 Member
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    Antiopelle wrote: »
    * When going on holiday, we now always rent a cottage or a two bedroom apartment instead of a hotel room.

    So do we!

  • Bootzey
    Bootzey Posts: 274 Member
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    Go to sleep first
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,868 Member
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    Bootzey wrote: »
    Go to sleep first

    You've never been woken up in the middle of the night by a particularly loud blast of snoring?
  • BeccaBeVigilant
    BeccaBeVigilant Posts: 14 Member
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    same problem here, it sux, my sleep is affected which i wake up stressed bad mood hence promotes Cortisol and bad eating habits! when i sleep in another room or couch I feel like a DOG and he fetches for me to return to the bed , then more FIGHTING,,,,, :s
  • avatiach
    avatiach Posts: 291 Member
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    I've got that problem too. Loud, irregular snores--plus it takes me longer to fall asleep anyway--are a bad combination!
    Here are some things that have helped.
    1. Flonase! I got him to take it. Makes a big difference, especially with volume. (Cutting out dairy helped too, but he couldn't keep it up, so mild allergy maybe?)
    2. My son convinced him to wear those nasal strips, they do help.
    3. I'm working on getting him to fall asleep on his side, it does reduce the snoring.

    And sometimes, I turn on white noise, really loud.
    Occasionally, I go sleep in another room, although really I want HIM to go sleep in another room.
  • DancingMoosie
    DancingMoosie Posts: 8,613 Member
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    Breathe right nose strips (or equivalent), sound(I like rain or ocean waves), and separate rooms if possible. Neither of us mind using the living room couch, and we'll even trade off. He starts the night there, I'll go early morning when the dogs start to bother me.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,898 Member
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    BeccaBeVigilant wrote: »
    same problem here, it sux, my sleep is affected which i wake up stressed bad mood hence promotes Cortisol and bad eating habits! when i sleep in another room or couch I feel like a DOG and he fetches for me to return to the bed , then more FIGHTING,,,,, :s

    Sounds like the snoring is the least of your problems...

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