Today I walked away from something I believed in

GloriaBJN
GloriaBJN Posts: 78 Member
edited April 2023 in Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
I made a decision today to walk away from something I believed in and had this overwhelming desire to mindlessly stuff my face with food. This is the first real trigger I've had since starting my diet in August of 2022. I did stuff my face that very moment when it hit me, but I decided to eat supper early at 4 pm instead of filling myself with stuff I hadn't scheduled for the day. I'm still looking for what else I can "borrow" from another part of my day.

Replies

  • sollyn23l2
    sollyn23l2 Posts: 1,786 Member
    We've all been there. Don't beat yourself up for it. Do what you need to do for today and get back on track tomorrow. I don't know exactly what decision you had to make, but I do know that we all have these kinds of moments, and while it sucks, it's ultimately very empowering when you come out the other side.
  • Holly_Wood_888
    Holly_Wood_888 Posts: 268 Member
    Give yourself some grace . We all soothe in different ways.
    Keep moving forward ❤️ You are strong; you’ve got this
  • hoarc1987
    hoarc1987 Posts: 52 Member
    “Stuff my face with food” isn’t specific about what food you ate and what was the process. I imagine you skipped some traditional ways of eating such as setting the table, eating with people together, having a first second and third course and then desert. Try that to improve your self esteem. And it will help you cope too. Then switch to healthier non processed foods more. It’s a marathon not a sprint!
  • Lightbeamer
    Lightbeamer Posts: 49 Member
    edited May 2023
    It's worth telling yourself and giving yourself reasons for the separation. You could stay in it for the social aspect. However, from personal experience, is that it takes time until you don't remember anything about it.

    I was a member of the LDS Church for 10 years. I was duped because all they wanted was money to build malls, bail out companies, etc etc. I was married, and was barely married when I left.

    Religion takes a toll, and time will eventually heal, but it's been 14 years since I left. I am still angry. The more I hear about it (I live in Utah), the fire is rekindled. Then I get angry, and feel betrayed. I am in therapy for another issue, but it may help you. Anger is not the way to leave. The anger will follow.

    Anger does you no good. I learned that first hand. My mom and I have discussions about how I was so devoted, and then I wasn't. I believed it was the absolute truth, and now that I look back on it, it's anger that lead me out. I lost all my friends, my wife, and my sons. They wanted to find someone that fills the qualifications to be a good father, according to their belief system.

    Anyway, before this reply becomes a journal entry (Can you see that I am a writer?), I will stop. I wish you the best of self discovery and realizing that it was a blip in your life. That's all we know. It's just a blip.
  • sollyn23l2
    sollyn23l2 Posts: 1,786 Member
    Lightbeamer wrote: »
    It's worth telling yourself and giving yourself reasons for the separation. You could stay in it for the social aspect. However, from personal experience, is that it takes time until you don't remember anything about it.

    I was a member of the LDS Church for 10 years. I was duped because all they wanted was money to build malls, bail out companies, etc etc. I was married, and was barely married when I left.

    Religion takes a toll, and time will eventually heal, but it's been 14 years since I left. I am still angry. The more I hear about it (I live in Utah), the fire is rekindled. Then I get angry, and feel betrayed. I am in therapy for another issue, but it may help you. Anger is not the way to leave. The anger will follow.

    Anger does you no good. I learned that first hand. My mom and I have discussions about how I was so devoted, and then I wasn't. I believed it was the absolute truth, and now that I look back on it, it's anger that lead me out. I lost all my friends, my wife, and my sons. They wanted to find someone that fills the qualifications to be a good father, according to their belief system.

    Anyway, before this reply becomes a journal entry (Can you see that I am a writer?), I will stop. I wish you the best of self discovery and realizing that it was a blip in your life. That's all we know. It's just a blip.

    Anger can be powerful, and I would argue that if anger is what it took for you to leave, then that's what it took. You were going to lose your friends and family when you left regardless. It's insidious, but that's how the LDS church works. Among others.
  • eternalsummer
    eternalsummer Posts: 8 Member
    I understand this. I left a church community and with it my entire social circle/support network. It hurt a lot, but I did what I had to do, and I am assuming that it is the same for you. The fear of losing everything was not as strong as your desire to be free of it, so in that sense, you have shown that you are strong and capable to be autonomous and want more from your life than what religion offers. How many others can say the same when they are that deep into it? That even if they had doubts, they aren't willing to walk away and abandon all that they knew to create real changes and they will live that way for the rest of their life. Go easy on yourself for allowing the stress eating. Coming from a religious background myself, GUILT is hard-wired into my thinking, but hey... if you have a lot on your mind and have considerable stress, that stress has to be released elsewhere. It takes time and you WILL find new passions in life that will satisfy your soul. Until then, just take it day by day and show compassion to yourself for the mistakes and just keep getting back on point as many times as it takes.

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