How do you deal with sleep and missing someone?

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LarryLorenz
LarryLorenz Posts: 54 Member
in Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
Sometimes it’s hard for me to fall asleep because I’m missing someone so much. I tried listening to music and podcast but nothing takes my mind off of the person I’m missing. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
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  • mkcmurphy
    mkcmurphy Posts: 437 Member
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    I have found that when my thoughts will not let me sleep that a brief bedtime yoga video (or 2) is helpful. It’s low key, physically feels good, and the different voice in my head helps me relax into sleep. Cole Chance on YouTube is good for me.

    I am very sorry about this pain. Wishing you comfort and rest.
  • takinitalloff
    takinitalloff Posts: 1,866 Member
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    Try the Sleep with Me podcast. It works well for me when my mind is stuck on something at night. I like to start listening as I’m winding down and getting ready for bed, and usually I’m out like a light shortly after hitting the mattress. (I set a sleep timer on Spotify so it turns off on its own.)
    Scooter (the podcast host) really has his craft down to a science.
    https://www.sleepwithmepodcast.com/
    Sweet dreams!
  • LarryLorenz
    LarryLorenz Posts: 54 Member
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    mkcmurphy wrote: »
    I have found that when my thoughts will not let me sleep that a brief bedtime yoga video (or 2) is helpful. It’s low key, physically feels good, and the different voice in my head helps me relax into sleep. Cole Chance on YouTube is good for me.

    I am very sorry about this pain. Wishing you comfort and rest.
    takinitalloff wrote: »
    Try the Sleep with Me podcast. It works well for me when my mind is stuck on something at night. I like to start listening as I’m winding down and getting ready for bed, and usually I’m out like a light shortly after hitting the mattress. (I set a sleep timer on Spotify so it turns off on its own.)
    Scooter (the podcast host) really has his craft down to a science.
    https://www.sleepwithmepodcast.com/
    Sweet dreams!


    Thank you both for your suggestions. Tonight if I fall down the missing/longing 🐇 🕳️ I’ll give them a try.
  • sadie_baby79
    sadie_baby79 Posts: 19 Member
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    I have trouble falling asleep when there is something or someone on my mind too. I like the suggestions posted already. Something else that may help is journaling - it definitely helps me with repetitive thoughts that keep me up. When I write things down, whether it’s how I am feeling, or simply a list of things to do, it’s like it’s been dealt with for now, and my mind can relax.
  • LarryLorenz
    LarryLorenz Posts: 54 Member
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    sadie_baby79 wrote: »
    I have trouble falling asleep when there is something or someone on my mind too. I like the suggestions posted already. Something else that may help is journaling - it definitely helps me with repetitive thoughts that keep me up. When I write things down, whether it’s how I am feeling, or simply a list of things to do, it’s like it’s been dealt with for now, and my mind can relax.

    I never thought of that and will add it to my list of things to try, Thank you
  • mnhughes22
    mnhughes22 Posts: 61 Member
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    So, when it comes to missing someone, I like to think back on fun, positive memories I have of that person. Then I write a letter to them, an old school pen and paper letter. I tell them I miss them, I talk about my day and things going on in my life, and then I talk about the things I remembered about them. Then I stick it in an envelope and into a box in my closet. If they're around in the future (and I feel like it) I could always give them the letter. If they've passed and our no longer with us....well....I kind of like to believe that maybe there is a way they might still get that letter after all.
  • LarryLorenz
    LarryLorenz Posts: 54 Member
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    mnhughes22 wrote: »
    So, when it comes to missing someone, I like to think back on fun, positive memories I have of that person. Then I write a letter to them, an old school pen and paper letter. I tell them I miss them, I talk about my day and things going on in my life, and then I talk about the things I remembered about them. Then I stick it in an envelope and into a box in my closet. If they're around in the future (and I feel like it) I could always give them the letter. If they've passed and our no longer with us....well....I kind of like to believe that maybe there is a way they might still get that letter after all.

    That’s a really nice idea.

  • LarryLorenz
    LarryLorenz Posts: 54 Member
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    I’ll see tonight how I feel and if it becomes an issue again I’ll try a few of these suggestions
  • juliaclifford9194
    juliaclifford9194 Posts: 1 Member
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    Sorry for your pain of missing someone Larry. I’ve just come across your post. I listen to the sea when I’m feeling as you do, the sea is my Happy Place. Try this, I hope it brings you some comfort ♥️
  • Dellagirl5316
    Dellagirl5316 Posts: 24 Member
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    I recommend melatonin gummies

    And then there’s the old saying the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else….
  • Hiawassee88
    Hiawassee88 Posts: 35,754 Member
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    @LarryLorenz
    Give yourself permission to feel your feels, but then you can heal. Take long walks, soothing baths, swim, and spend time with animals. Animals are the best stress and shock absorbers in the world. Animals are healers. They absorb emotional and spiritual wounds of every kind. Interacting with animals helps you love yourself. Powerful.

    I sit in the hot pots, aka hot springs. My body buzzes with energy when I get out. That's probably due to the natural arsenic found in geothermal springs, but I like it. My grandfather drank it, and I used to wash my face with hot springs water. I think it springs you into healing. Another springboard for me, music and dancing.

  • Hiawassee88
    Hiawassee88 Posts: 35,754 Member
    edited July 2023
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    @Larry_Lorenz What you feel, you can heal. There's really no such thing as closure. That would mean that someone very important to us, and part of us, has gone numb. Closure only happens in the movies. Only you really know, where you stand in this person's life.

    You can learn how to handle it, by letting go. We may not always get what we want, but we get the outcome that we need. Chapters close without closure. Inhale your future, exhale your past. Breathe. You tried. That's the sweetest thing we can say for all of our past relationships.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,910 Member
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    My (now-ex) husband and I met at work, in the military. We lived near each other, and worked together, then married and lived together too. We were together all day, every day. He got out before I did and took a job that required him to be away for weeks at a time. It was a difficult transition for me. To manage, I overscheduled myself. On top of my 50 hour a week job, I also went to school two nights a week, and got a part time job for another 20 hours per week, and socialized with work friends. I was too busy and exhausted to dwell on his absence.

    I think the "be busy" plan works for a variety of scenarios, but would add some things depending on why you are missing the person.

    Break up? Join a gym/do more at the gym. Date, but casually at first, if it was a long-term relationship. Get a pet.

    Death? Grief counseling/workshops. Volunteer work. Get a pet.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,910 Member
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    Also, in general for sleep I'm helped by regular exercise. Sleep experts will counsel to not do anything too vigorous close to bed time. I do yoga a few hours before bed, plus more strenuous exercise earlier in the day.
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,287 Member
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    If the person you are missing is a positive person in your life or was? I would think of them until i fell asleep. ( i have no idea the circumstance). But, what i have done is think about the person i love who is on my mind until i fall asleep... think of the loving good times.. or imagine a new ones.. or even hear their voice say.. "go ahead.. get some rest it is okay.."
  • xrj22
    xrj22 Posts: 197 Member
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    A new puppy worked for me. YMMV.
  • Kechal12
    Kechal12 Posts: 3 Member
    edited August 2023
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    Sorry for your pain. I have been there as many of us have and i wish you well. There is an app called Relax and Sleep by Glenn Harrold, who is a clinical hypnotherapist. There are several free sleep sessions (and many more paid). I have found his soothing voice, tone, and cadence combined with the background music to be extremely relaxing and helpful for sleep.

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