finally got back on the scale (it wasn't good)

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Hi, all. I'm Jen. I'm a 40-something SAHM to five and gramma of one.

I haven't been on a scale in a few months, but I knew I was gaining a lot because my clothes don't fit and everything hurts. I finally stepped on it last night and got a shock:

294lbs

I wanted to cry. That's the heaviest I've ever been. I've been trying to tell myself this is partly the fault of the medication I'm on for bipolar. It has weight gain as a known side effect, and boy, has it been affecting me. I've been debating changing meds with my provider for several months and this sealed it for me. I can't stay on it with this much weight gain (at least 40lbs since I started it last year). It's ruining my life.

I don't talk to my provider again until next week so today, I buckled down and forced myself to cut back on the food even though I feel hungry all of the time. I skipped breakfast (which is normal for me; I just don't normally feel hungry until lunchtime except for these meds messing with me) and halved my regular portions for lunch and dinner. I also forced myself outside before the heat set in today for a short walk. I used to love to walk, but my knees and hips just hurt so much now and we live in a really hilly neighborhood which makes even short walks high-stress for me.

I've tried to keep myself distracted to not think about eating and made it today under my MFP calorie goal even though I really want to go pop a bag of popcorn and munch on it while I goof off online. But I'm resisting because I did good today and don't want to ruin it.

On top of the issues with my meds, I'm a compulsive overeater and a carb junkie. I tend to eat out of boredom a lot and will binge on things like chips because I just crave them all the time.

About the only thing I have going for me is that my A1c is good (just had it tested last month) and my cholesterol is actually not that bad. A tad high on the bad side, but otherwise good.

My goals right now are portion control, better choices (a bit hard right now because I just did a big cookout of burgers and hot dogs for the 4th so those need to be eaten before I can make something healthier), get out walking in the mornings, and to get down to 275lbs. I'll be discussing my medication choices with my provider and either trying something new or going back on a previous one that had some side-effects but actually made me lose weight instead of gain it.

Once I'm down to 275, I'll celebrate that little goal before moving on to goal two which is 250lbs. That's been my steady weight pretty much since I started having children (20+ years ago). I'd love to get below that, but if I get to 250 and stay there, I'll be happy and my clothes will fit again.

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  • Dellagirl5316
    Dellagirl5316 Posts: 24 Member
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    I think you have a good plan to talk to the doctor about medication changes especially if the side effects don’t outweigh the benefits, being diabetic myself, you crave sugar when your sugar is high, it’s the weirdest thing and hard to get past. But you can do it and all those hotdogs left over, I give you full permission to throw that food away and start feeding yourself healthy foods today or eat them In portions that fit inside your calorie goal.
    You can do this.
  • justanotherjen13
    justanotherjen13 Posts: 419 Member
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    I think you have a good plan to talk to the doctor about medication changes especially if the side effects don’t outweigh the benefits, being diabetic myself, you crave sugar when your sugar is high, it’s the weirdest thing and hard to get past. But you can do it and all those hotdogs left over, I give you full permission to throw that food away and start feeding yourself healthy foods today or eat them In portions that fit inside your calorie goal.
    You can do this.

    Yeah, can't really afford to waste the food, so I cut the hot dog in half (they are those big ones from Costco) and ate them on plain bread instead of the buns which had over twice the calories of the bread. I basically cut everything in half for each meal.
  • AHarris7260
    AHarris7260 Posts: 1 Member
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    I just want to start by saying I’m so proud of you for deciding to face your fear of the scale and wanting to change! That’s a lot to process especially being bipolar! I’m 30 I just started my fitness journey with this app an got a fitness coach 6days ago and I’m also bipolar and my biggest I have ever been in my entire life (260) so that scare the crap out of me and made me want to change my ways just like you!!! Just take it one day at a time that’s all you can do I’ve learned! I’m so proud of you for making better choices! You and I both can get where we feel good again! I know how hard that can be. I wouldn’t give my zoloft up for my life! It has changed me for the better but it’s weight gain has me shook! But we Keep fighting because we want better mental and physical! 🥰🙂🥰 keep striving I’m proud of you