Feeling really discouraged today.
Eve53
Posts: 178 Member
I'm typing this with tears in my eyes. I am getting so frustrated. I have been eating at a calorie deficit for months now and I'm not seeing any progress. At my weight (350) the pounds should be melting off in the beginning shouldn't they? In the beginning I lost about 15lbs, which I now realize was probably just water weight. Cause even though I eat less than MFP tells me to pretty much every day, I am not losing any weight. I have had a few bad days here and there, but I get right back at it the next day, and when I have those bad days the scale goes way up! And it doesn't come back down. So now not only have I only lost 15lbs since the beginning, but now I've gained back 8lbs.
And when I say a bad day I mean like going out on a date night and over indulging on wine some Saturdays, or something like that. Nothing too far out of the box. I don't think I should be having this much of an issue this early on and I'm starting to think something might be seriously wrong, and it's hurting my feelings! So I guess I'm looking for some advice, encouragement, and maybe some empathy cause I'm struggling today.
And when I say a bad day I mean like going out on a date night and over indulging on wine some Saturdays, or something like that. Nothing too far out of the box. I don't think I should be having this much of an issue this early on and I'm starting to think something might be seriously wrong, and it's hurting my feelings! So I guess I'm looking for some advice, encouragement, and maybe some empathy cause I'm struggling today.
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Replies
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I’m certainly no expert, but perhaps you’re not eating enough calories? If you’re too far below the recommended number, maybe your body is viewing it as starvation mode and holding on to everything as a defense.
Maybe try increasing your intake, making sure to fill the gap with nutrient rich foods - veggies, fruit, lean protein, dairy, nuts…
Try it for a week and see if your body responds differently!
Weight loss is so weird. It sounds like you have to shake up your routine a bit to see what is going to work for you. Please don’t give up! You are worth it!3 -
Hi so sorry to hear what you're going through. It's definitely frustrating when you're putting effort in but the scales aren't moving.
Honestly the first thing I would recommend is setting goals not based on the scales. Being able to walk/run further than last week without being out of breath, lifting a pb, learning a new dance, increasing mobility through stretches etc. Whatever it is or however small these can be great achievements and sources of motivation.
The next is doing some maths. It'll never be exact but I looked up what the BMR is for someone of my size (173cm/5'8" starting at 110kg/240lbs) and put that against how much I wanted to lose each week (net calorie deficit of 550cal/day to lose 0.5kg/week or 1100cal/day to lose 1kg a week). For reference it takes 7700 calories to lose 1kg. For me that adds up to 1800cal intake and burning 1000cal each day as I am quite an active person, I can reduce the calories I take in on rest days or increase them if I'm working out. I'm also not afraid to adjust as I go.
For me that understanding of my caloric needs jumpstarted what was initially a slow start to something more effective while still being sustainable.
Sustainability is the key, small changes add up over time. Try one for a week or so and add as things progress. I'll list some of mine that have worked for me:
- limit juice/soft drinks to meal times and carry water with you
- find healthier alternatives to your favourite foods like homemade pizza or low calorie ice cream instead of cutting them out of your diet completely
- pre-prep veggies by cutting them up and putting them in the freezer to limit prep time and waste/cost when cooking
- eating off of smaller plates to reduce portion sizes
- incorporate snacks or eating out into your daily calories
- brush your teeth after meals to limit snacking
- make your night routine earlier to limit late night snacking and improve sleep
- eat enough so you're full throughout the day to reduce binging
- try low impact stretching before bed
- don't buy high sugar snacks, you'll get used to them not being in the house so you're less likely to crave them
Again, it looks like a lot but adding in slowly means they don't feel like a lot. Even if it means losing weight more slowly it means like it's more likely to stay off as I don't feel miserable doing it and I'm not overly restricting myself.
I get where you're coming from. I've struggled with my weight since puberty and it's frustrating. This is what I've found has worked for me. Sorry for the long post. I'm not sure if it'll help but I wish you the best. Good luck2 -
Hey Eve,
I'm sorry you're feeling so frustrated. You're not alone in your struggles!
My first question to you would be how are you tracking your food intake? While we can create a deficit through physical activity, food intake is going to be the biggest factor so it's important to have a really good understanding of the calories you are consuming. Do you weigh your food at all or are you eye balling/estimating portion sizes? If you are eyeballing, it may be helpful to weigh your food. It's a bit tedious but it's really the most accurate method to ensure you are hitting your calorie goals. It also helps you get a better sense of portions so when you do eyeball, you'll have a better chance of being in a close ballpark.
I would take a 3-4 weeks of weighing/tracking your food this way and use the scale as a guide - if you are consistently gaining week after week after eating to your calorie goal then it may be time to reduce calories. This also comes with a disclaimer that I don't know your stats - nor do I know your current calorie goal. If you already slashed calories to very low, then reducing further wouldn't be something I suggest. But that's a different conversation so I will be going with the assumption that you have wiggle room to reduce calories further. But all of this depends on accurately accounting your food intake.
Also, how often are you weighing yourself? I'm not sure of your relationship with the scale, but if you can weigh yourself daily, you'll have more data points to assess trends. If you only ever weigh yourself 1x a week, it's not always a good indicator of where you are with progress.
Lastly, I would like to emphasize the importance of looking at your health from a wholistic approach. Diet is one part - but don't forget to look at your physical activity level, sleep patterns, digestion, stress management - all these things impact our ability to lose weight so improving them will also help you feel better (which is most important IMO), but should also impact the scale.
I know this is hard and frustrating, but remember to show yourself some grace! I believe in you6 -
Sorry to hear of your frustration. I second the advice to weigh food on a kitchen scale if you aren’t already doing so. Also, 15 lbs of water weight sounds like a lot, and the “gain”!of 8 means you are down 7 over a couple months, which sounds like progress. It’s not uncommon to have the pattern of loss you are showing; I always think of it as “consolidating”!the loss—some fat here, some water loss/return to normal after shedding a Lot, plus a plateau as I gained a little muscle from increasing exercise. Maybe if you think of it this way while taking a second look at your intake, you will see progress.2
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Thank you all for your responses. I'm not sure how to respond to each of you individually. But I wanted to say thanks for the encouragement and advice. I have been using a food scale, pretty meticulously. So I got that going for me.
I haven't been working out yet, but I know from past experience that weight loss is mostly about diet and not exercise so I'm currently working on diet and just moving more and not actual intentional work outs. And that's just because this is the biggest I've ever been, and I've been sedentary for a long time and it's difficult to jump up and start working out. So I've been focusing on stretching and moving more.
I do have a doctors appointment on Monday and I'm going to bring all of this up. I know weight loss isn't linear and everyone is different, but it has been several months. So maybe there's something else going on.5 -
Are you logging your over-goal days, like the wine and stuff of a Saturday? That would also be a good thing to do, if you aren't, even if you have to estimate.
Unfortunately, it is possible to have a few over-goal days here and there wipe out most of a week's calorie deficit, depending on the details. It's kind of easy to get quite a few days going very well, feel like we're working really hard, and that feeling can loom larger than the over-goal days (which probably most of us would rather forget about altogether, if we could!)
If you log every day, good bad or indifferent, you'll have some idea whether that could be happening.
P.S. "Starvation mode" in the sense of eating so little that one can't lose weight, is generally a myth. It's possible to under-eat or under-nourish, and experience subtle fatigue that means we lose weight more slowly than expected. It's also possible to see water retention from the pure stress of extreme dieting, and that can temporarily mask fat loss on the scale.
We can't operate without burning calories, any more than we can take a long car trip with no gas in the tank or juice in the batteries. Energy expended has to come from somewhere, and we spend energy just being alive and doing our daily life stuff. The energy to do that either comes from the food we're eating around that time, or from our stored fat. At a sufficiently low calorie intake level, we will lose fat.1 -
Hi So sorry to hear your struggling. It doesn’t matter how much you have to lose I think most people find it hard to get the balance right between calorie increase versus calorie deficit.
Even the slightest amount of calories over your daily intake on a regular basis can see an increase in the scales. Weight gain can also be from water retention, stress etc.
Just keep trying you did well to lose 15lb , I am struggling too for different reasons .
Keep going you can do it
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My husband weighs al ittle more than you and we are yet again back with mfp trying to lose weight. He eats 2200 calories a day and that's for a 2 pound a week weightloss.
I think 1500 sound really low for you.2 -
@Eve53 I just read your thread today and was going to suggest showing your mfp log to your doctor, but I see that today was your doctor appointment. How did it go? Did your doctor shed some light on your difficulties in losing weight? Hoping your appointment went well.1
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Are you exercising and eating those calories back? I'm finding that my Apple watch way over-estimates my calorie burn. When I was in serious lose mode, I ate almost none of my exercise calories. Not that I really exercised; I just walked a bit more. I didn't put those into MFP. I also weigh everything on a scale. You can do this. Gotta be consistent and have accurate data though.0
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