Struggling

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debbiebyf
debbiebyf Posts: 9 Member
edited July 2023 in Motivation and Support
Can anyone relate to this. I start calorie counting , give up by Day 4 or 5 then go and buy cakes and biscuits etc . Why am I self sabotaging and do I really want this enough? I question myself and know I feel unhappy at the weight I am . Why do I keep doing this 😢

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  • foliographerdoha
    foliographerdoha Posts: 35 Member
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    debbiebyf wrote: »
    Can anyone relate to this. I start calorie counting , give up by Day 4 or 5 then go and buy cakes and biscuits etc . Why am I self sabotaging and do I really want this enough? I question myself and know I feel unhappy at the weight I am . Why do I keep doing this 😢

    We trie we fail we try again we fail again don’t feel embarrassed start from scratches keep motivated yourself. Cheer your progress even if its small. Greatness will come

  • Corina1143
    Corina1143 Posts: 2,933 Member
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    I forgot the truth, but I know it shocked me.
    I read somewhere that the average number of times the average person who quits smoking has to try before they succeed was something like 10. If that's the average, there must be lots of people who had to try more than 10 times.
    In other words, get up, dust yourself off, and get right back to trying. What can you do to make it easier and more effective this time? On which day do you usually cave? The fifth? Or sixth? Plan your start day around this day. Have meals and snacks prepped and ready for this day.
    If sweets is your big downfall, plan for one bite of your favorite on the 8th day, or the 10th. Circle it on the calendar. Spend all your time between now and then deciding what your very favorite is. Figure out how you will have one bite and not the whole thing.
  • Corina1143
    Corina1143 Posts: 2,933 Member
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    Also. In the old days they told us when you give up sugar the first day you think about sweets all day long. The second day you don't feel great and may snap at others. The 3rd and 4th day you get mean and feel really bad, so please warn loved ones ahead of time. The 5th and 6th day are better, much like getting over the flu.
    It's real. Get ready for it.
  • KickassAmazon76
    KickassAmazon76 Posts: 4,563 Member
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    I find that unless I have some sort of accountability, I cannot stick with it. Whether it's a challenge or a silly bet with a friend, or lately, a goal tracking spreadsheet, it has to be something.

    I hate tracking my food. Hate it. But I also know that because of counting cals, I cannot eat three handfuls of chocolate almonds and still have normal food the rest of the day without losing ground. It sucks to realize just how much you're eating, and how easy it is to blow your cals

    Perhaps it's worth not worrying about a deficit for the first two weeks and just get used to logging everything. Every. Thing.

    Then look at working towards a deficit. And if you can get a friend (or a spreadsheet) to keep you on track, even better.
  • Kst76
    Kst76 Posts: 935 Member
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    I found that being in a hurry and overwhelmed is my biggest enemy. I don't know why I have to lose weight so fast. 1 pound a week is alot for me. It gives me no more than 1300 calories a day to eat. Talk about discouraging. I have to exercise for a couple of hours to at least bump that total up to 1500 calories. So I think 1/2 a pound is much more realistic. I think people are so focused on losing a great amount of weight by a specific date and they end up getting so disappointed when things are not going as planned.
  • Antiopelle
    Antiopelle Posts: 1,184 Member
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    Visualise it and then write it down!! That’s what got me going. Write it down and read it every day. Flash cards, reminder on your phone, whatever you want, but be reminded of your WHY every day 😉
  • yirara
    yirara Posts: 9,402 Member
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    What is your motivation for losing weight? Consider this very careful for yourself. Just wanting to lose weight is hardly ever a reason to actually pull through, you know. You might as well start the next day and have a snack today, or the next. Much better motivations might be to be able to play with the (grand)children and see them growing up, a huge health scare might work, wanting to run a marathon or walk up that mountain outside of town, basically something more tangible than being xlbs lighter.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,529 Member
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    Antiopelle wrote: »
    Visualise it and then write it down!! That’s what got me going. Write it down and read it every day. Flash cards, reminder on your phone, whatever you want, but be reminded of your WHY every day 😉
    This. Post your goal on your fridge, bathroom mirror and the visor in your car. Constant reminders make it much easier to reach goal especially if it's one you thoughtfully wrote out.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 32,178 Member
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    That is an absolutely adorable dog. She will enjoy more walks, and - if she's like dogs I've had - as those walks become easier for you, she will sense your ease and your own increasing enjoyment, and that will add to her enjoyment. Our dogs can be quite sensitive to our feelings and mood, in my experience.

    What I'm going to say isn't a new thing vs. what others said above, but I want to pull out an underlying concept and emphasize it: Don't think about how to lose weight fast. Think about how to lose weight as easily as possible.

    Eat food you enjoy (just a little less, and maybe in different portion/proportions). Tweak your eating habits if/as you need to, to feel full most of the time, stay energetic, etc. But do that eating foods you actually like. You don't need "diet foods" "superfoods" or any of that other much-trumpeted stuff. You can have treats, though you may need to find ways to moderate them.

    Same deal for exercise: Keep it enjoyable and practical. Walking with the dog is excellent!

    Being fat isn't a sin we need to expiate via suffering: Miserable, restrictive deprivation diets; intense, punitive exercise. It's just a practical problem to be solved, and we can chip away at it in small steps, It's like a fun, productive science fair project for grown-ups: We do some experiments with our habits, find which ones succeed, keep those, discard the ones that don't help, and keep going. Progress results. We don't have to "perfect our lifestyle" all in one go.

    You can do this. I'm cheering for you. The results are worth it!
  • podperson1
    podperson1 Posts: 207 Member
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    I think most of us have been there, and I feel you as cakes/biccies/sweet things tend to be my worst temptations as well.

    Things that have helped for me are:
    distraction techniques - I used to eat snacks at certain times, eg when I was sitting down to watch a movie in the evening. I try and do something else with my hands, like playing with beads, messing with my phone, painting my nails.
    not having certain things in the house. I'm doing quite well in terms of portion control, but there are still certain things (like one particular kind of biscuit!) that I cannot have in the house without eating the whole packet in one go lol.
    not denying myself completely. This needs to be a long term thing for me so I've looked for ways to do moderation. Something that helps me a lot is I will go to a bakery or a cafe, get a really nice, home-made slice of cake etc. Eat it slowly and enjoy every bite. So, I'm not missing out, I'm still getting a taste of something I like, but it's helping break those habits of just munching through a pack of biscuits, barely even tasting it, and then feeling horrible when they're all gone.

    Good luck and hang in there x
  • Dianedoessmiles1
    Dianedoessmiles1 Posts: 12,109 Member
    edited July 2023
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    @debbiebyf ,, these are all terrific hints!! Also, I'd to add when we truly have support and are a part of something bigger than we are (While getting smaller or the way I love to put "getting healthier") having the SUPPORT and being Needed helped me to go from 188 to 172! I now am in congestive heart failure, my Dr when I asked "Would I of lived if I'd not lost the weight?" Replied, "We do not think so." I am so thankful I HAVE!!! I'm not young, there are 2 little boys of which one calls me "Grandma" and the other one will join his sweet brother once he can talk in doing so!!

    If you'd to check us out on the 2023 Summer 5% Challenge please do!! We are in week 4 of week 8, but the support you'll find is fantastic!! We do add in new members all the time.

    AFTER you join please go to this feed and post you'd like a team 📣We Will be Adding New Members Throughout the Challenge📣 It is listed under the ANNOUNCEMENT section.

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10894810/we-will-be-adding-new-members-throughout-the-challenge#latest

    Here's the link to the 2023 Summer 5% Challenge (PLEASE remember to hit JOIN)

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/group/144897-2023-summer-5-community-team-plz-join-us
  • Latitude27N
    Latitude27N Posts: 6 Member
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    I was just reading in “Badass Habits” that it helps to have an idea in our minds of who that person is that wants these changes and to begin to identify with that person. This new person wants to be comfortable in a healthy, graceful body. If we keep the idea of our old self who is maybe comfortable with overeating to soothe emotions, that old self WILL sabotage because it’s not at ease with the new behaviors. I dunno, it made sense to me. ☺️

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