Did you get enough to eat at your goal weight, or did your food allowance make you grumpy?

sugarfreesquirrel · August 2023

Did you have to readjust your goal weight to be happy?

I hear about former models and slim people never feeling happy because they were hungry all the time, but I wonder if it's because they didn't burn off enough calories to eat more or if their muscle tone was too low (sorry, I hope that makes sense!). I see people on here with really nice figures and they seem to eat plenty and have happy lives.

Were you at a point where you were like, screw it, I need to gain weight and eat more so I'm not grumpy or tired all the time? can you look good and still eat enough?

AdahPotatah2024 · August 2023

I've adjusted my goal weight. At first, i wanted to get back to 128-135. I was about 130lbs in my 20s eating mostly healthy, but whatever I wanted. I was moving 8 hours per day at work, though,and then going out all the time. There's no way I'm going to be that active at my age..I'll take the 10 extra pounds! Just trying to eat a healthy, balanced diet and walk about an hour every day and whatever weight appears is okay with me.

knotmel · August 2023

When I originally lost the weight in 2015, I thought I wanted to get to my college weight of 135, but stopped around 140 because getting lower was a pain and I was happy and strong and healthy. I find that an easy weight to maintain, all things being equal, but sometimes drift up to around 150 before I bring things back down. I also have in the back of my head that I’d like to be smack in the middle of normal BMI (which would be around 131)—but my body (with the habits that are comfortable to me) likes being near the top of that range instead.

pony4us · August 2023

I'm in my 70s and have always maintained around 5 lbs "overweight" I recently asked my doctor if I should try to lose those few pounds and was met with a strong NO!!! At my age and height I maintain at 1400 cal with maybe 100 more for walking. When I was losing I ate at this goal calories instead of dropping lower and then having to transition into maintenance. I am healthy, active, on no meds, have super bone scans. It's all good. Like others I do have a red line of weight, but then would just go back to weighing and measuring my food.

AnnPT77 · August 2023

sugarfreesquirrel wrote: »

Did you have to readjust your goal weight to be happy?

I hear about former models and slim people never feeling happy because they were hungry all the time, but I wonder if it's because they didn't burn off enough calories to eat more or if their muscle tone was too low (sorry, I hope that makes sense!). I see people on here with really nice figures and they seem to eat plenty and have happy lives.

Were you at a point where you were like, screw it, I need to gain weight and eat more so I'm not grumpy or tired all the time? can you look good and still eat enough?

I'm fine at a reasonable weight, as I define "fine". I'm not grumpy or tired all the time, probably less tired than when I was obese, actually. (No more grumpy than ever.) At 67, I'm not going to look super-cute (especially post bilateral mastectomies!), but I am reasonably slim, around 130 pounds right now at 5'5", probably roughly mid-20s body fat percent.)

I love food and eating. (I'm pretty hedonistic, and food is pleasurable.) I could eat more, much more, and enjoy it in the moment, but the consequences long term would be very unenjoyable. I'm happy at my maintenance calories, to balance current pleasure with future happiness.

I will observe that my maintenance calories are relatively high for my demographic, which I'm sure helps. (It's mainly for reasons within anyone's reach: Being active, being reasonably fit, having pretty good muscle mass (way short of bodybuilder), eating lots of high TEF foods, etc. Whether doing those things is as happy for others as it is for me, I don't know.)

I did adjust my goal weight upward a few years into maintenance, but only by about 5 pounds. For me, at sedentary, 5 pounds is a difference of maybe 30 to 40-ish calories per day, which isn't a deal-breaker happiness-wise, so that wasn't the reason.

But how slim a person wants to be, what they think looks good - that matters. So does individual physiology and psychology.

There are levels of bodyfat (low ones) that are going to cause most humans' bodies to push back hard, because they feel as if we're starving, not storing up for the famine ahead. Human history taught our bodies to be prepared for that famine, because the could-have-been-ancestors who didn't have those genes died during the famine, more or less. Our personal ancestors are the ones who lived.

The classic type of models are not just slim, they're punitively thin. They're usually at that kind of low bodyfat that triggers the misery that's supposed to drive us to eat so we don't die in the famine. Ditto for some people's preferred appearance, for example if they want their muscles to show all over their body.

Exactly where that line is probably does differ from one individual to the next. But there's some level of low bodyfat that's likely to trigger misery for anyone.

There are other factors that can make being slim unpleasant enough that some specific person doesn't want to go there. Exercise performance is one (lighter isn't always better, energetically or in strength). Hedonism is another: Maybe someone can't be happy without eating the deep-fried battered mushrooms (full order) every week, alongside a beer, or having a nice dessert every night, or whatever. Even appearance can be a reason not to be super-slim: Not everyone likes that look.

Something like energy level or grumpiness is more subjective: For sure, cutting calories too far for current weight will get a person there (so it could happen during loss but not necessarily predict similar feelings in maintenance). Poor nutrition can get a person there. So can over-exercising for current fitness level. It's probably true that for some (most?) people, there's an adaptation period to a new (lower) calorie level, part of which may be physiological, but a good bit of which is psychological (about habits, pretty much).

Certainly misery isn't universally built in to reaching and maintaining a healthy weight long term. If a person wants to look like a classic top model or elite bodybuilder all the time, then it may be more of a problem.

spiriteagle99 · August 2023

I have been maintaining between 120-125 for about 9-10 years. Ten years ago, I increased my daily exercise, which allows me to eat pretty much whatever I want, though not necessarily as much as I would like. (e.g. I eat two cookies for dessert, not 5.) I enjoy exercise, and need it for my mental health, so have no problem doing an hour or more of exercise every day. I'm retired, so time isn't an issue. At one point when I was marathon training my weight got a bit too low (118) so I decided to increase my calories so I wouldn't be quite as boney. In the past few years, I've cut back on my running a bit and have put on a couple of pounds. I am still within my goal range, so I'm fine with that. If I gained 10 lbs. I would still be within a healthy weight, I am just happier at my current size.

SafariGalNYC · August 2023

In maintenance I’ve always felt like I have had enough food.

I tend to fill up on low cal volume foods though. I can eat a whole head of cauliflower for 150 calories which is hard to do because it’s so filling.. where as a whole bag of potato chips I can keep going…

1800 calories for example - can be a lot of food!

Typical maintenance day:

Breakfast:
Veggie and fruit smoothie with added protein
Omelettewith greens

Lunch:
Fish
Greens

Snack

Dinner:
Vegetable
Poultry
Fruit

herringboxes · August 2023

For me, maintenance feels exactly like calorie restriction. I cannot tell where any extra calorie is, I thought I’d be able to eat 375 extra calories a day, and apparently I am, but I don’t see or feel them whatsoever. I thought I’d at least be able to, say, eat an apple for lunch instead of no lunch. Nope.

I am not grumpy, but do feel minorly deprived. I have just enough energy to get through my day, nothing more. I also cannot eat anything to power my workouts.

I have to admit, maintenance has been a disappointment to me. I did not expect I could throw caution to the winds, but I also did not expect it to feel identical to calorie deficit.

JaysFan82 · August 2023

I've never felt deprived. I've actually lost an additional 16 pounds since I hit my Maintenance goal. I kept losing because I'm very active now with my running/baseball and pickleball.

I had to start eating more now just to keep my weight up.

sollyn23l2 · August 2023

herringboxes wrote: »

For me, maintenance feels exactly like calorie restriction. I cannot tell where any extra calorie is, I thought I’d be able to eat 375 extra calories a day, and apparently I am, but I don’t see or feel them whatsoever. I thought I’d at least be able to, say, eat an apple for lunch instead of no lunch. Nope.

I am not grumpy, but do feel minorly deprived. I have just enough energy to get through my day, nothing more. I also cannot eat anything to power my workouts.

I have to admit, maintenance has been a disappointment to me. I did not expect I could throw caution to the winds, but I also did not expect it to feel identical to calorie deficit.

Just a thought... have you considered that maybe you're maintaining a little bit too low? Maintaining really shouldn't feel that difficult. No, obviously you still can't go crazy, but you should feel satisfied. I hope you can play around with it and figure out how to maintain in a way that doesn't make you feel deprived.

herringboxes · August 2023

In a few weeks, I will have more control over what I eat (currently prepare food with the needs of my teen in mind) and will play around with macros. I wonder if more fat and/or protein will help.

sollyn23l2 · August 2023

herringboxes wrote: »

In a few weeks, I will have more control over what I eat (currently prepare food with the needs of my teen in mind) and will play around with macros. I wonder if more fat and/or protein will help.

That's awesome. I think more protein might help, for sure.

cmriverside · August 2023

When I first arrived at Maintenance it was difficult. I was always hungry and I gained weight easily. So I'd say, yeah, it was hard. At first. I was trying to stay at XXXX calories and it just was never enough.

It took me a good year at maintenance for that to settle down. Not sure how or why, it was 16 years ago and I don't really remember other than 1. More vegetables 2. Less wheat and sugar. Both those things are important even today.

I do eat 300-600 calories MORE per day than myfitnesspal recommends, so I am not usually struggling, but I have to watch it, and at least one day per week I have a major over-age of 1000-1500ish extra calories...and that's above the 2000-2300 I eat every day.

SummerSkier · August 2023

Well one thing I have learned in maintenance is that it is MUCH MUCH better to give yourself more calories than to give up and binge because you are hungry or feeling deprived.

westrich20940 · August 2023

My 'goal weight' was simply to not be 'obese' according to my BMI (even though I know that BMI isn't a great metric for overall health). But - my weight gain was basically directly related to my activity level...which was highly affected by a time period of my life where I was dealing with some moderate/severe depression. So basically I had been a runner/active my whole life and generally fit/petite. Even through college. I did gain some weight in college but I was still 'thin'. But if I became sad/unmotivated I'd basically be completed sedentary. I have a desk job and then would go home and eat (whatever sounded tasty, and a lot of it) and then lay down in bed until I fell asleep...wake up the next day and do it all over again.

So, once I basically recognized the state I was in...my first focus was to get back to 'myself'...which includes the activities that I was neglecting. I got back into running -- which covid kind of sparked that as well. I knew things were going to be shutting down and I didn't want to be stuck inside all the time so basically as long as the weather allowed I went on a hike or walk. Slowly after building up some fitness I started interval running and the back to running. Through that process I built a closer/better relationship with my body...so now really if my body tells me it's hungry, I eat. But after logging food and activity for the amount of time I did - I basically know what most of the meals I'm eating contain and also what I burn with activity and what my general caloric needs are. I've maintained +/- 5lbs now for over 2 years without logging consistently. Maybe over the holidays the swing is more than 5lbs but I'm not fussed about that bc I know when there are no longer holiday parties and goodies, it'll go back to normal.

I think it's important to be honest - and know that when getting to the point of maintenance after being in a deficit can be a change and can come with some weight gain. However, as you approach your goal weight, you should be lowering your calorie deficit and getting closer to eating at maintenance anyway to avoid that abrupt change. But ultimately - if maintenance still feels like or requires calorie restriction...it may be a possibility that the goal weigh achieved is too low.

My original goal weight was 135 (I'm female and 5'3")... I got to that and was still progressing in my running and then continued to lose more weight. I figured, oh ok another few pounds would be nice...but also I didn't recalculate my overall maintenance calories so what was my maintenance level prior to become more active and physically fit was a bit lower than what it became...so I continued to lose weight unintentionally. I got down to ~115lbs (under 120 at least) and was there for about 6 weeks...but that's how long it seemed to take me to process that and ultimately purposefully eat more and gain back up to ~125 which is where I tend to stay consistent.

Currently with my activity level...I do not believe that I could comfortably sustain 115lbs even if I'd liked what I looked like then (which I ultimately didn't, I felt it was too thin for me, even though it's within the 'healthy weight range') without having to go back into a deficit or feeling hungry.

So if you get to a 'goal weight' and even eating maintenance still leaves you 'hungry' or you slowly slowly creep up in weight....it's likely that the goal weight is too low. Each of our bodies has a sort of set point/equilibrium...and while YOU may want it to be _______ (fill in the blank with a number on the scale), that might not be appropriate.

ahoy_m8 · August 2023

SummerSkier wrote: »

Well one thing I have learned in maintenance is that it is MUCH MUCH better to give yourself more calories than to give up and binge because you are hungry or feeling deprived.

QFT. Maintaining takes mental effort for me (sometimes more that it seems like it should) but it's always worth the effort. On many days, I WANT to eat/drink more. On any day I COULD eat/drink more. Some days I DO have more. It's the average that counts.

To answer OP question, I have not upped my weight range to get more calories, but after 30+ years maintaining, I am experimenting with ways of thinking about it to achieve the same result with less mental effort. Work in progress.

herringboxes · September 2023

I was the one above who said maintenance was feeling exactly like calorie deficit. I wanted to update in case my post discouraged anyone.

At the time I wrote that, I was about 7 weeks into maintenance, and right now is 4 weeks later. I had kept the same weight over the 7 week period. During deficit, I never would swing around in weight, half a pound up at most and usually just holding steady, and then the drop would show up every week or so. After 7 weeks, in maintenance, I was just holding steady week after week.

But after that I dropped a little more all at once - a pound I think. Ok, I just let it be and figured I could consider it in my range. Then another pound came off maybe two weeks later. Well now another pound two weeks after that, so clearly I need to eat a bit more.

If it’s a pound every two weeks, I can assume I have a 250 cal daily deficit on average (and I do eat consistently, don’t go out to eat). I also lately have not felt deprived (though I do feel like I eat quite lightly).

Maintainance is tough. And I realize I have nothing to complain about, scale keeps going down not up, but it’s not easy for me to make this transition. It’s still going. My new plan is to incorporate a snack to fuel my lifting days, which I do need, and see how that goes.

sollyn23l2 · September 2023

herringboxes wrote: »

I was the one above who said maintenance was feeling exactly like calorie deficit. I wanted to update in case my post discouraged anyone.

At the time I wrote that, I was about 7 weeks into maintenance, and right now is 4 weeks later. I had kept the same weight over the 7 week period. During deficit, I never would swing around in weight, half a pound up at most and usually just holding steady, and then the drop would show up every week or so. After 7 weeks, in maintenance, I was just holding steady week after week.

But after that I dropped a little more all at once - a pound I think. Ok, I just let it be and figured I could consider it in my range. Then another pound came off maybe two weeks later. Well now another pound two weeks after that, so clearly I need to eat a bit more.

If it’s a pound every two weeks, I can assume I have a 250 cal daily deficit on average (and I do eat consistently, don’t go out to eat). I also lately have not felt deprived (though I do feel like I eat quite lightly).

Maintainance is tough. And I realize I have nothing to complain about, scale keeps going down not up, but it’s not easy for me to make this transition. It’s still going. My new plan is to incorporate a snack to fuel my lifting days, which I do need, and see how that goes.

I'm so glad to hear you're adjusting to it! Absolutely, maintenence takes some effort, but you really get into the routine of how you eat and it gets easier.

ddsb1111 · September 2023

herringboxes wrote: »

I was the one above who said maintenance was feeling exactly like calorie deficit. I wanted to update in case my post discouraged anyone.

At the time I wrote that, I was about 7 weeks into maintenance, and right now is 4 weeks later. I had kept the same weight over the 7 week period. During deficit, I never would swing around in weight, half a pound up at most and usually just holding steady, and then the drop would show up every week or so. After 7 weeks, in maintenance, I was just holding steady week after week.

But after that I dropped a little more all at once - a pound I think. Ok, I just let it be and figured I could consider it in my range. Then another pound came off maybe two weeks later. Well now another pound two weeks after that, so clearly I need to eat a bit more.

If it’s a pound every two weeks, I can assume I have a 250 cal daily deficit on average (and I do eat consistently, don’t go out to eat). I also lately have not felt deprived (though I do feel like I eat quite lightly).

Maintainance is tough. And I realize I have nothing to complain about, scale keeps going down not up, but it’s not easy for me to make this transition. It’s still going. My new plan is to incorporate a snack to fuel my lifting days, which I do need, and see how that goes.

This post has been incredibly helpful for me as I’m about to go through the same thing. I appreciate your insight and hope you continue to post and update. We put in so much hard work to reach a goal weight and it’s an uneasy feeling not knowing where your new maintenance might be, especially with the usual monthly hormonal changes.

AnnPT77 · September 2023

ddsb1111 wrote: »

herringboxes wrote: »

I was the one above who said maintenance was feeling exactly like calorie deficit. I wanted to update in case my post discouraged anyone.

At the time I wrote that, I was about 7 weeks into maintenance, and right now is 4 weeks later. I had kept the same weight over the 7 week period. During deficit, I never would swing around in weight, half a pound up at most and usually just holding steady, and then the drop would show up every week or so. After 7 weeks, in maintenance, I was just holding steady week after week.

But after that I dropped a little more all at once - a pound I think. Ok, I just let it be and figured I could consider it in my range. Then another pound came off maybe two weeks later. Well now another pound two weeks after that, so clearly I need to eat a bit more.

If it’s a pound every two weeks, I can assume I have a 250 cal daily deficit on average (and I do eat consistently, don’t go out to eat). I also lately have not felt deprived (though I do feel like I eat quite lightly).

Maintainance is tough. And I realize I have nothing to complain about, scale keeps going down not up, but it’s not easy for me to make this transition. It’s still going. My new plan is to incorporate a snack to fuel my lifting days, which I do need, and see how that goes.

This post has been incredibly helpful for me as I’m about to go through the same thing. I appreciate your insight and hope you continue to post and update. We put in so much hard work to reach a goal weight and it’s an uneasy feeling not knowing where your new maintenance might be, especially with the usual monthly hormonal changes.

I totally understand nervousness about that - I had some myself. It will dissipate.

I think we feel like maintenance weight is a really, really fragile thing: That our weight will blow up with the slightest mistakes. (I'm not saying our rational brain thinks that.

)

In reality, if your eating and activity behavior is even remotely consistent, nothing dramatic is going to happen. If you keep monitoring body weight (or clothes fit, or similar), you will notice changes. By now, you know not to over-react to tiny or temporary changes that aren't explained by changes in eating/activity. Things don't feel OK at first, but high odds they'll actually be OK.

As time went on in maintenance, those ideas became viscerally more real and true to me. I hope and believe that you'll find the same thing: That your confidence will grow with the first weeks/months of success.

If you don't completely stop monitoring and behaving sensibly, the only negative thing that realistically could happen is a slow up-creep of weight, like a pound a month-ish. If you're monitoring, you'll notice; and you know how to re-lose a pound if necessary.

herringboxes · September 2023

@ddsb1111
Glad to hear I’m not alone in figuring out maintenance.

I think it’s about 3 weeks since my last post on this thread. I started eating more on lift days to fuel my workout. I also have been eating slightly larger portions at dinner, and/or eating a snack-sized lunch (after eating no lunch for 10 months). It’s all working fine and no longer feeling deprived.

It seems when I started maintenance, I may have been in a position to be sensitive to water weight jumping on with minor changes. I wasn’t gaining but I wasn’t losing for those 7 weeks - on the scale, that is. Looking back, it seems I continued a deficit that was being masked, and probably still am on a deficit though I’m closing the gap.

I started taking creatine about three weeks ago, and it pulls more water in. So even recently I may have masked more fat loss. But in the last couple of weeks, the extra things I eat just don’t show up on the scale, so I feel more relaxed about it.

I don’t think I’m done transitioning to maintenance yet, but I’m getting closer. I’m surprised at how much I am avoiding potential gain, as I don’t have a lot of emotional baggage around my weight. My heart goes out to those who have a burden there, and would just encourage everyone to work to gain trust in the process, as I am doing, and it just takes time I guess.

Did you get enough to eat at your goal weight, or did your food allowance make you grumpy?

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