How do you deal with sleep and missing someone?
LarryLorenz
Posts: 54 Member
Sometimes it’s hard for me to fall asleep because I’m missing someone so much. I tried listening to music and podcast but nothing takes my mind off of the person I’m missing. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
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I have found that when my thoughts will not let me sleep that a brief bedtime yoga video (or 2) is helpful. It’s low key, physically feels good, and the different voice in my head helps me relax into sleep. Cole Chance on YouTube is good for me.
I am very sorry about this pain. Wishing you comfort and rest.3 -
Try the Sleep with Me podcast. It works well for me when my mind is stuck on something at night. I like to start listening as I’m winding down and getting ready for bed, and usually I’m out like a light shortly after hitting the mattress. (I set a sleep timer on Spotify so it turns off on its own.)
Scooter (the podcast host) really has his craft down to a science.
https://www.sleepwithmepodcast.com/
Sweet dreams!2 -
I have found that when my thoughts will not let me sleep that a brief bedtime yoga video (or 2) is helpful. It’s low key, physically feels good, and the different voice in my head helps me relax into sleep. Cole Chance on YouTube is good for me.
I am very sorry about this pain. Wishing you comfort and rest.takinitalloff wrote: »Try the Sleep with Me podcast. It works well for me when my mind is stuck on something at night. I like to start listening as I’m winding down and getting ready for bed, and usually I’m out like a light shortly after hitting the mattress. (I set a sleep timer on Spotify so it turns off on its own.)
Scooter (the podcast host) really has his craft down to a science.
https://www.sleepwithmepodcast.com/
Sweet dreams!
Thank you both for your suggestions. Tonight if I fall down the missing/longing 🐇 🕳️ I’ll give them a try.
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I have trouble falling asleep when there is something or someone on my mind too. I like the suggestions posted already. Something else that may help is journaling - it definitely helps me with repetitive thoughts that keep me up. When I write things down, whether it’s how I am feeling, or simply a list of things to do, it’s like it’s been dealt with for now, and my mind can relax.2
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sadie_baby79 wrote: »I have trouble falling asleep when there is something or someone on my mind too. I like the suggestions posted already. Something else that may help is journaling - it definitely helps me with repetitive thoughts that keep me up. When I write things down, whether it’s how I am feeling, or simply a list of things to do, it’s like it’s been dealt with for now, and my mind can relax.
I never thought of that and will add it to my list of things to try, Thank you
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So, when it comes to missing someone, I like to think back on fun, positive memories I have of that person. Then I write a letter to them, an old school pen and paper letter. I tell them I miss them, I talk about my day and things going on in my life, and then I talk about the things I remembered about them. Then I stick it in an envelope and into a box in my closet. If they're around in the future (and I feel like it) I could always give them the letter. If they've passed and our no longer with us....well....I kind of like to believe that maybe there is a way they might still get that letter after all.4
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mnhughes22 wrote: »So, when it comes to missing someone, I like to think back on fun, positive memories I have of that person. Then I write a letter to them, an old school pen and paper letter. I tell them I miss them, I talk about my day and things going on in my life, and then I talk about the things I remembered about them. Then I stick it in an envelope and into a box in my closet. If they're around in the future (and I feel like it) I could always give them the letter. If they've passed and our no longer with us....well....I kind of like to believe that maybe there is a way they might still get that letter after all.
That’s a really nice idea.
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I’ll see tonight how I feel and if it becomes an issue again I’ll try a few of these suggestions1
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Sorry for your pain of missing someone Larry. I’ve just come across your post. I listen to the sea when I’m feeling as you do, the sea is my Happy Place. Try this, I hope it brings you some comfort ♥️1
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I recommend melatonin gummies
And then there’s the old saying the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else….1 -
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@LarryLorenz
Give yourself permission to feel your feels, but then you can heal. Take long walks, soothing baths, swim, and spend time with animals. Animals are the best stress and shock absorbers in the world. Animals are healers. They absorb emotional and spiritual wounds of every kind. Interacting with animals helps you love yourself. Powerful.
I sit in the hot pots, aka hot springs. My body buzzes with energy when I get out. That's probably due to the natural arsenic found in geothermal springs, but I like it. My grandfather drank it, and I used to wash my face with hot springs water. I think it springs you into healing. Another springboard for me, music and dancing.
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@Larry_Lorenz What you feel, you can heal. There's really no such thing as closure. That would mean that someone very important to us, and part of us, has gone numb. Closure only happens in the movies. Only you really know, where you stand in this person's life.
You can learn how to handle it, by letting go. We may not always get what we want, but we get the outcome that we need. Chapters close without closure. Inhale your future, exhale your past. Breathe. You tried. That's the sweetest thing we can say for all of our past relationships.1 -
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My (now-ex) husband and I met at work, in the military. We lived near each other, and worked together, then married and lived together too. We were together all day, every day. He got out before I did and took a job that required him to be away for weeks at a time. It was a difficult transition for me. To manage, I overscheduled myself. On top of my 50 hour a week job, I also went to school two nights a week, and got a part time job for another 20 hours per week, and socialized with work friends. I was too busy and exhausted to dwell on his absence.
I think the "be busy" plan works for a variety of scenarios, but would add some things depending on why you are missing the person.
Break up? Join a gym/do more at the gym. Date, but casually at first, if it was a long-term relationship. Get a pet.
Death? Grief counseling/workshops. Volunteer work. Get a pet.1 -
Also, in general for sleep I'm helped by regular exercise. Sleep experts will counsel to not do anything too vigorous close to bed time. I do yoga a few hours before bed, plus more strenuous exercise earlier in the day.1
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If the person you are missing is a positive person in your life or was? I would think of them until i fell asleep. ( i have no idea the circumstance). But, what i have done is think about the person i love who is on my mind until i fall asleep... think of the loving good times.. or imagine a new ones.. or even hear their voice say.. "go ahead.. get some rest it is okay.."1
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A new puppy worked for me. YMMV.2
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Sorry for your pain. I have been there as many of us have and i wish you well. There is an app called Relax and Sleep by Glenn Harrold, who is a clinical hypnotherapist. There are several free sleep sessions (and many more paid). I have found his soothing voice, tone, and cadence combined with the background music to be extremely relaxing and helpful for sleep.0
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"Attitude of gratitude" is a little game I play. They say focusing on being thankful keeps the wolves at bay. So I good through the alphabet in my mind assigning one thing I'm grateful for to each letter. It's my game so I have my rules: no food (I don't want to go there), and no people names (it makes the game too easy). The idea is have just a bit of mental struggle to take you away to slumber land while having good thoughts. I almost never make it to Z.4
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A body pillow helped me through my divorce. Hope this helps.
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try to walk or jog to reduce stress, listen to calming music0
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I know I’m late to this, but have you tried conscious breathing with maybe a mantra? When you connect your thoughts to your breath, you change the physical patterns in your body, which then changes your mind patterns. With each inhale you can use a mantra like “I am loved”, and start to change your thoughts. 🤍0
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Sometimes when we hold on too tightly we resist our surrender to it. Surrender that your life is taking a different trajectory. It will get easier. Promise0
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I pray for peace about the situation.
Otherwise it breaks me.0 -
Depends why you're missing them.
I mean if she's an ex, that's a tough one and you'll just have to ride it out until you fill that hole with someone else or other positive things in your life. No quick fix to that sort of thing.
Hobbies, exercise, work, friends. There are a lot of things you can do to reduce her impact on your brain.
Good luck bro2 -
That is a tough one because there is no short sweet answer. Grief is hard an no one quite goes through it the same way. I really recommend reaching out to those you trust to talk about it and process. Sending lots of love and good vibes!0
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