Boyfriend trouble
lbrockman2197
Posts: 10 Member
in Chit-Chat
My boyfriend told me a couple days ago that our relationship won’t last til next month because I recently decided to be abstinent. But yesterday he took me on this amazing date. He gave me valentines gifts, took me to a nice Italian dinner and belted songs in the car with me. I love him but if he’s serious I don’t know what to do. Why’s he sending me mixed signals?
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Replies
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mixed signals happen when communication breaks down... it happens far too often sadly2
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Hold your ground. Pressure does not equal real respect.4
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He was hoping you'd reconsider putting out if he wowed you.
Is this decision a temporary thing?2 -
He made the effort to see if you might change your mind.
He shouldn’t give you ultimatums it’s your body and your decision, if he truly cares he will respect it.3 -
lbrockman2197 wrote: »My boyfriend told me a couple days ago that our relationship won’t last til next month because I recently decided to be abstinent. But yesterday he took me on this amazing date. He gave me valentines gifts, took me to a nice Italian dinner and belted songs in the car with me. I love him but if he’s serious I don’t know what to do. Why’s he sending me mixed signals?
Were you always abstinent in this relationship or is it something you changed in the relationship recently? You of course have every right to make your own decisions on your body and beliefs. Any one who cares about you should respect this. However, in an adult relationship if a dynamic of it changes where one party is no longer happy, that party has every right to not want to be in the relationship any longer. Respect goes both ways. And difference in beleifs on what is important to a relationship should be respected on both sides.
I would add this. If you were always abstinent in your relationship then your bf knew what was up and should not have a problem with it now. Also, if he is trying to manipulate you to try and change your mind that is a d nozzle move and you should kick him to the curb.
As an adult a person has every right to say i do not want to be in a sexless relationship just as much as someone that says they want to be abstinent. The only thing that each has to do is respect the opinion of each other.5 -
lbrockman2197 wrote: »My boyfriend told me a couple days ago that our relationship won’t last til next month because I recently decided to be abstinent. But yesterday he took me on this amazing date. He gave me valentines gifts, took me to a nice Italian dinner and belted songs in the car with me. I love him but if he’s serious I don’t know what to do. Why’s he sending me mixed signals?
Were you always abstinent in this relationship or is it something you changed in the relationship recently? You of course have every right to make your own decisions on your body and beliefs. Any one who cares about you should respect this. However, in an adult relationship if a dynamic of it changes where one party is no longer happy, that party has every right to not want to be in the relationship any longer. Respect goes both ways. And difference in beleifs on what is important to a relationship should be respected on both sides.
I would add this. If you were always abstinent in your relationship then your bf knew what was up and should not have a problem with it now. Also, if he is trying to manipulate you to try and change your mind that is a d nozzle move and you should kick him to the curb.
As an adult a person has every right to say i do not want to be in a sexless relationship just as much as someone that says they want to be abstinent. The only thing that each has to do is respect the opinion of each other.
That’s a good point
Something about this post tingles my Spidey senses3 -
itchmyTwitch wrote: »lbrockman2197 wrote: »My boyfriend told me a couple days ago that our relationship won’t last til next month because I recently decided to be abstinent. But yesterday he took me on this amazing date. He gave me valentines gifts, took me to a nice Italian dinner and belted songs in the car with me. I love him but if he’s serious I don’t know what to do. Why’s he sending me mixed signals?
Were you always abstinent in this relationship or is it something you changed in the relationship recently? You of course have every right to make your own decisions on your body and beliefs. Any one who cares about you should respect this. However, in an adult relationship if a dynamic of it changes where one party is no longer happy, that party has every right to not want to be in the relationship any longer. Respect goes both ways. And difference in beleifs on what is important to a relationship should be respected on both sides.
I would add this. If you were always abstinent in your relationship then your bf knew what was up and should not have a problem with it now. Also, if he is trying to manipulate you to try and change your mind that is a d nozzle move and you should kick him to the curb.
As an adult a person has every right to say i do not want to be in a sexless relationship just as much as someone that says they want to be abstinent. The only thing that each has to do is respect the opinion of each other.
That’s a good point
Something about this post tingles my Spidey senses
Yup, i get that feeling too2 -
itchmyTwitch wrote: »lbrockman2197 wrote: »My boyfriend told me a couple days ago that our relationship won’t last til next month because I recently decided to be abstinent. But yesterday he took me on this amazing date. He gave me valentines gifts, took me to a nice Italian dinner and belted songs in the car with me. I love him but if he’s serious I don’t know what to do. Why’s he sending me mixed signals?
Were you always abstinent in this relationship or is it something you changed in the relationship recently? You of course have every right to make your own decisions on your body and beliefs. Any one who cares about you should respect this. However, in an adult relationship if a dynamic of it changes where one party is no longer happy, that party has every right to not want to be in the relationship any longer. Respect goes both ways. And difference in beleifs on what is important to a relationship should be respected on both sides.
I would add this. If you were always abstinent in your relationship then your bf knew what was up and should not have a problem with it now. Also, if he is trying to manipulate you to try and change your mind that is a d nozzle move and you should kick him to the curb.
As an adult a person has every right to say i do not want to be in a sexless relationship just as much as someone that says they want to be abstinent. The only thing that each has to do is respect the opinion of each other.
That’s a good point
Something about this post tingles my Spidey senses
I always assume these are troll post - but hopefully it works out for op4 -
😐0
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PaperDoll_ wrote: »😐
You give the best advice !0 -
PaperDoll_ wrote: »😐
You give the best advice !
Thank you. And I just want you to know, we can continue to be friends whether you put out of not. 🤗
Though some chocolate once in awhile would be nice.
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PaperDoll_ wrote: »PaperDoll_ wrote: »😐
You give the best advice !
Thank you. And I just want you to know, we can continue to be friends whether you put out of not. 🤗
Though some chocolate once in awhile would be nice.
How do you feel about sweeet and sour candies ?? Sour straws - sour patch kids and what not - otherwise I guess I’ll have to put out 🤷♂️1 -
Sex is very important to me. So if all of a sudden the decision of my SO was to abstain from having it, then I would likely move on.
But this doesn't sound like an adult relationship.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 35+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Isn't lent coming up? That's what I was thinking.2
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PaperDoll_ wrote: »PaperDoll_ wrote: »😐
You give the best advice !
Thank you. And I just want you to know, we can continue to be friends whether you put out of not. 🤗
Though some chocolate once in awhile would be nice.
How do you feel about sweeet and sour candies ?? Sour straws - sour patch kids and what not - otherwise I guess I’ll have to put out 🤷♂️
No sour candies! When should I expect you?1 -
Relationship are hard but he might be confused himself.1
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lbrockman2197 wrote: »My boyfriend told me a couple days ago that our relationship won’t last til next month because I recently decided to be abstinent. But yesterday he took me on this amazing date. He gave me valentines gifts, took me to a nice Italian dinner and belted songs in the car with me. I love him but if he’s serious I don’t know what to do. Why’s he sending me mixed signals?
In all seriousness, I’m very sorry your boyfriend lost both his hands. It’s probably been hard for him to adapt. ❤️0 -
PaperDoll_ wrote: »lbrockman2197 wrote: »My boyfriend told me a couple days ago that our relationship won’t last til next month because I recently decided to be abstinent. But yesterday he took me on this amazing date. He gave me valentines gifts, took me to a nice Italian dinner and belted songs in the car with me. I love him but if he’s serious I don’t know what to do. Why’s he sending me mixed signals?
In all seriousness, I’m very sorry your boyfriend lost both his hands. It’s probably been hard for him to adapt. ❤️
Also, without the use of his hands, I can see why you don’t mind abstaining. 🤭 Okay I’m done now.. 🚪 🦒
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PaperDoll_ wrote: »lbrockman2197 wrote: »My boyfriend told me a couple days ago that our relationship won’t last til next month because I recently decided to be abstinent. But yesterday he took me on this amazing date. He gave me valentines gifts, took me to a nice Italian dinner and belted songs in the car with me. I love him but if he’s serious I don’t know what to do. Why’s he sending me mixed signals?
In all seriousness, I’m very sorry your boyfriend lost both his hands. It’s probably been hard for him to adapt. ❤️
I think I missed that chapter1 -
itchmyTwitch wrote: »PaperDoll_ wrote: »lbrockman2197 wrote: »My boyfriend told me a couple days ago that our relationship won’t last til next month because I recently decided to be abstinent. But yesterday he took me on this amazing date. He gave me valentines gifts, took me to a nice Italian dinner and belted songs in the car with me. I love him but if he’s serious I don’t know what to do. Why’s he sending me mixed signals?
In all seriousness, I’m very sorry your boyfriend lost both his hands. It’s probably been hard for him to adapt. ❤️
I think I missed that chapter
I added it. Isn’t this one of those continue on the story posts? 🤔1 -
You would be amazed how he compensates0
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itchmyTwitch wrote: »lbrockman2197 wrote: »My boyfriend told me a couple days ago that our relationship won’t last til next month because I recently decided to be abstinent. But yesterday he took me on this amazing date. He gave me valentines gifts, took me to a nice Italian dinner and belted songs in the car with me. I love him but if he’s serious I don’t know what to do. Why’s he sending me mixed signals?
Were you always abstinent in this relationship or is it something you changed in the relationship recently? You of course have every right to make your own decisions on your body and beliefs. Any one who cares about you should respect this. However, in an adult relationship if a dynamic of it changes where one party is no longer happy, that party has every right to not want to be in the relationship any longer. Respect goes both ways. And difference in beleifs on what is important to a relationship should be respected on both sides.
I would add this. If you were always abstinent in your relationship then your bf knew what was up and should not have a problem with it now. Also, if he is trying to manipulate you to try and change your mind that is a d nozzle move and you should kick him to the curb.
As an adult a person has every right to say i do not want to be in a sexless relationship just as much as someone that says they want to be abstinent. The only thing that each has to do is respect the opinion of each other.
That’s a good point
Something about this post tingles my Spidey senses
I always assume these are troll post - but hopefully it works out for op
I refuse to pay the troll toll
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He was hoping you'd reconsider putting out if he wowed you.
Is this decision a temporary thing?He was hoping you'd reconsider putting out if he wowed you.
Is this decision a temporary thing?He was hoping you'd reconsider putting out if he wowed you.
Is this decision a temporary thing?
I wasn’t always abstinent, no. But I have been for a bit and recently he’s been pressuring me more and more to do it. While he’s said he’d support me and that he’s proud of me, he seems to be contradicting himself.
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Oopsies responded to the wrong one 🤷♀️0
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Sex is very important to me. So if all of a sudden the decision of my SO was to abstain from having it, then I would likely move on.
But this doesn't sound like an adult relationship.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 35+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Errrrmm no we are both adults 😂
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Sorry he continues to pressure. Imagine you have told him why. Some things are deal breakers, some not, and that is really only something you can determine.
Fwiw, coercion and ultimatims, manipulations were dealbreakers for me. And no regrets. Hope you wake up one morning and know, either way.0
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