Weight Loss, each day is day 1

EveryDayisDay01 · March 15

I’m 5’3. 273lbs.
I want lose it but I’m very stuck in my head about doing it. Working full time and homeschooling my young is very straining. I’ve not had fun at the lake or beach for a bunch of years. I don’t smoke or drink or socialized or party.. food is my only crutch.

cmriverside · March 15

If you think of food as a crutch, then maybe therapy would help?

Other than that, I'd suggest starting to do nice things for yourself in other areas. Go to the beach. Buy a new thing you've wanted. Take a long bubble bath.

Then, lose just five pounds. Start by logging all the food you eat and not worrying about eating a certain way. Just log food and learn about yourself from the FOOD diary.

frhaberl · March 15

@Fitness220Gal Well done on having the courage to post this. It sounds like you are identifying the mental blocks that are keeping you from getting started or staying on track. I think that's the true key to starting a sustainable journey. Once you understand what things you will tell yourself that will keep you from your goal, you can start to rewrite the narrative in your head. It could look something like this:

"Working full time and homeschooling my young is very straining" - Translation = I'm too busy and tired because I'm giving everything I've got to earning a living and caring for others. Reframing = I want to have more energy and be around for those I care for. Carrying extra weight isn't helping. I want to fuel my body with healthy food and find activities I love that will build my strength and stamina. I will carve out x minutes a day to focus on that goal.

"Food is my only crutch" - Translation = "Food is the only thing I do for myself and the only thing bringing me comfort/joy". Reframing = I don't have to stop enjoying food, but I should start working towards finding joy/comfort in other things because the level at which I'm seeking joy/comfort in food is leading to the opposite. While I'm figuring out the portion sizes and substitutions that will keep my enjoyment of food in a healthier calorie range, I will look for other activities that bring me joy/comfort.

"I've not had fun at the lake or beach for a bunch of years." - Translation = My ability to take joy in things is tied to my weight. Reframing = It's really sad that society has told me I'm not worthy of enjoying beach time unless I look a certain way. The truth is that I'm just as worthy of a sunny day on the beach now as I will be if/when I weigh less, and holding onto that is part of what will help me have a healthier relationship with food and my body. I'm going to practice not investing in what they think or say about me and focus on being me.

I may be misinterpreting your statements, but hopefully you get the idea of the process of understanding the thought patterns that are holding you back and finding ways to look at them differently.

Please know that I have been in your shoes for many years of my life. I decided about a year ago to "just do it". I've had to face a lot of thought processes that were not healthy, including the one that said I needed to do this weight loss thing perfectly, or it wasn't worth doing. I learned the saying "Progress over perfection" from a podcast, and taken that as one of my mantras. I have struggled with not wanting to take off my cover up and get in the water because "I look disgusting". I have spent many hours blaming my family for not understanding how/when I need to eat and derailing my efforts. I have tackled the "too hot/cold/rainy/snowy/windy" to take a walk. I have fought to balance a sourdough hobby with a calorie controlled lifestyle. I have learned that I can turn down food from my mother-in-law without destroying our relationship.

You absolutely can be learning something new every day, so even when you are "succeeding" on this journey your title will apply. Each day is day 1, and one day closer to where you want to be.

emmamcgarity · March 15

I can feel how overwhelmed you are and your desire for a healthier lifestyle. I think sometimes when we start this journey of weight loss we think about ALL the goals we have at once. We imagine that the process will have us eating salads for every meal and spending hours each day working out. Then we become paralyzed and feel like we can’t start the journey. It’s frightening to take that first step. We are so focused on the end of the journey that we can’t even see that first step.

I would suggest to you that the first step doesn’t even involve eating at a calorie deficit. I think the first step is somehow tracking what you are eating now for a couple weeks (even if over calories). Make that first step just to add tracking. Don’t focus in meticulously weighing and calculating every single calorie. Just focus on tracking what you eat. Then after a couple weeks look for small ways to improve your current diet. Make this journey the goal instead looking too far ahead. I’d encourage you to track the last thing you ate right now to the best of your memory. Even if you feel it was an unhealthy choice, tracking is the current goal.

springlering62 · March 15

@frhaberl what a wonderful, insightful post!

As @emmamcgarity recommends, log a “normal” day.

When I first started on MFP, at the recommendation of my dietician, I’d already lost about 20.

But I was curious to see what I was/had been eating.

I calculated what I ate in a day before beginning weight loss. I was absolutely shocked at the numbers- north of 10,000 calories a day. I was so ignorant of nutrition and stupid about exercise, I had zero idea of what food “cost”. I honestly thought a slow, three mile walk in the evening offset the half a carton of Breyers ice cream or the package of Oreos (whole package, mind you!). I mean walking was so hard, right? Surely it was tit for tat?

Even my “new” style of eating was 3000+ a day, and I had lost 20 pounds at that!!!!

I think my body was so relieved at the constant onslaught of junk food finally slowing down it just went into “heck yeah!” mode.

Logging helped me realize where, how and when I could make changes.

I still enjoy snacks, but the type of snack has changed. Ice creams are now homemade and sugar free versions. I can’t keep bags or loose chocolate in the house. Ditto for baked goods.

I’ve had to learn control. Logging was the first step- actually the easiest step.

Much success to you. Being able to get on the floor and play with my granddaughter has been a blessing. If only I’d done it when my own kids were younger. You’ve got that opportunity.

Reframe your world as opportunity, instead of “gotta does”.

ddsb1111 · March 15

"Never give up on a dream because of the time it will take to achieve it. The time will pass anyway." -Earl Nightingale

Sometimes people assume they’ll miss out on something (delicious, fun, on happiness) because they’re on a weight loss journey, or assume they’ll be hungry and suffering because they won’t get to eat as much as they want. Here’s what I’ve come to realize personally:

I don’t have to eat diet food to be on a diet. I can eat food I love and pretty much the same way I ate before. I just need to eat in my calorie limit. Small tweaks in portions can achieve that. I not only feel happy but I’m proud of myself for taking control of something that felt out of control.

If I want to eat more I can adjust the ratios to volume eat. For example, I can reduce some of the fat or carbs and increase the lower calorie (volume) food. At the end of the meal, I can’t tell the difference, and I don’t feel deprived. I also learned a life hack to help with maintenance for the rest of my life.

Sometimes the idea of dieting is a mountain we create in our minds, and it doesn’t have to be that way. It gets easier because you take it one day at a time. You learn. You make tweaks to find your perfect balance between satiation and enjoyment. Your days become weeks, and you start to feel and look better, and then you don’t want to go back. You’ll know what to do and it will change your life.

If I looked at dieting as taking everything away that I enjoy, slaving away at the gym, adding more work to my plate, and not having a social life, I wouldn’t want to start either. The good news is, none of that is necessary to reach your goals.

I hope you go to the beach and enjoy your life. It’s so precious and it’s fleeting, and you deserve to be happy, like yesterday!

EveryDayisDay01 · March 16

Wow thanks everyone. This is a hard journey. It’s great to have so many of you with relatable feedback ✅

MaggieGirl135 · March 16

We would love to hear your progress. Please consider posting here again for support.

mlgdsantos · March 18

Have you tried meal prep? Make sure you have good foods around you so you eat whats good and healthy... tempation usually spoils it all. I would work on the mindset and to free yourself from that "crutch" of yours... I hope it makes sense :-)

CrazyMermaid1 · March 19

For me, food was my only stress relief and sense of comfort for a few decades. My subconscious realized that the last thing I needed was to take that away, but my conscious self had no idea what was happening. All I knew was that despite my best efforts, I couldn’t lose weight. As a result of my psychotic break, my stress level plummeted and I started to lose weight almost without trying. I wouldn’t wish this weight loss method on my worst enemy but my journey has been eye-opening.

Julieann404 · March 19

So many inspiring words (and people) on this forum. I was a healthy eater but a very overweight one. I just couldn't understand why. Finally, after again getting on the "tracking wagon" and printing out a month of food diaries, I could see what was REALLY going on! So food tracking (even if you don't change anything for a while) might be a good starting point. It's sometimes hard to be honest with yourself about what you are eating, but it sure is worth it (and no one will see it but you!)

One other idea I haven't seen mentioned. You mentioned you have a child or children. I wonder if there's a way you can incorporate some of their schooling in ways that will help you. Are they old enough to help with food prep (teaching them about measurements, etc.) or help with walking so it feels more like a fun family activity than punishment? I bet others would have some great suggestions on involving the kids?

sollyn23l2 · March 19

Julieann404 wrote: »

So many inspiring words (and people) on this forum. I was a healthy eater but a very overweight one. I just couldn't understand why. Finally, after again getting on the "tracking wagon" and printing out a month of food diaries, I could see what was REALLY going on! So food tracking (even if you don't change anything for a while) might be a good starting point. It's sometimes hard to be honest with yourself about what you are eating, but it sure is worth it (and no one will see it but you!)

One other idea I haven't seen mentioned. You mentioned you have a child or children. I wonder if there's a way you can incorporate some of their schooling in ways that will help you. Are they old enough to help with food prep (teaching them about measurements, etc.) or help with walking so it feels more like a fun family activity than punishment? I bet others would have some great suggestions on involving the kids?

Exactly! I just started closely tracking again because I put back on a few pounds. Low and behold, while I thought I was drinking maybe 50-100 calories of creamer a day in my coffee, I was drinking more like 200🤦‍♀️

Weight Loss, each day is day 1

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