When will I have more self control with food intake?

Fitness220Gal wrote: »

I record through MFP, over all I find it very helpful to see what I’m eating.
I’m doing a calorie deficit for the time being.

But I’ll suddenly get swarms of major urges to ingest food! It’s like a drug addict jonesing for their fix! I get tunnel vision to the food and I gotta have it!

I’ll still record it and see the numbers sore above my limit, then MFP tells me what I’ll weigh if I keep going that way.

The guilt hits me and I feel useless and like a failure. Is this part of the beginning of the this whole process to get better ? ❤️‍🩹

It will only get better when you decide to do better. You're not going to magically wake up one day and have no desire to binge and no guilt. You have to take actions for yourself to make that happen. Find other things that matter more to you than food, and spend time doing those. Eat regularly so you don't get too hungry. Eat protein rich foods. These are all things that MAY help. But in the end, you just have to decide to do it. When will that happen? When you get fed up with being overweight and just.... do it.

ETA: guilt is a tool and a useful thing. It lets you know you've gone off track from your goals. Without guilt, there would be no drive to change what you're doing.

The cravings will pass.

Try to stay busy and if you have used up all your calories try to drink water or eat a bit of protein and go for a walk...

What does your diet mainly consist of?

ybhwjhmwk8 wrote: »

HaviMom75 wrote: »

You sound like me. I’ve determined I’m addicted to sweets. I’ve gone 2 weeks now without eating any junk food and my calories have just adjusted down. I know everyone says “all things in moderation” but that hasn’t worked for me. Steering clear of junk entirely seems to be doing it.

I am the same way, I have to avoid the sugar entirely which causes me to avoid the social situations where the sugar is. Makes me also want to avoid any social situation with food. I also suffer from free food is free of calories.

Ah. I bet you play bunco. I’ve tinkered with and fought bunco nights for the 1997 days I’ve been on MFP.

These are my “tips” for social situations, FWIW.

I save up calories on Bunco day, although if I push too hard I arrive hungry, so just like before grocery shopping, I make sure I eat something before I go.

What helps me (though it makes me unpopular with some hostesses!) I have a quart sized insulated Bubba cup. I make a giant iced decaf coffee with Jordan’s Skinny Syrup and sip on it all night. For some reason iced coffee is very filling and the sweetness is satisfying.

What seems to cheese some hostesses off is I make a giant cookpot of air-popped popcorn, add a couple tbsp margarine and some truffle salt and bring it with me. I don’t know why that upsets them so but I does not care anymore.

I permit myself to eat anything I want BUT it has to have a big handful of popcorn on top and I have to eat that first. That takes the edge off pretty quick.

I actually came home with calories in the bank last time. That was a definite win.

It makes me nuts because they know I count calories, it feels like they all watch and silently judge everything that goes on my mouth, and just as silently wonder “why hasn’t she put the weight back on?”

I swear at least one busts her *kitten* to make the highest calorie foods she possibly can and then stays on my butt all night “have you tried it? Have some. It won’t hurt. Oh, Come on.”

Outside of the food thing, which is probably mostly in my head anyway, they are truly lovely ladies. But man, feeling like their eyes go from my hand to my mouth……it’s unnerving. Half of them are on Ozempic now, too, lol.

I sooooo feel ya about sugary, snacky, tempting social situations.

@PAV8888 what a great post. MFP gold there!

May I please add:

Lack of Education: for those of us who attended school in the 70’s - and probably for years after that- our only education about nutrition was maybe a ten minute film reel about the food pyramid during a bi-weekly or monthly “health” class, screened by teachers who were teaching all subjects, including math, history, science, reading. They didn’t have time to learn up and teach kids nutrition it was way low in the totem pole.

So as a result, what I “knew” about nutrition came from screaming headlines at the checkout counter, or maybe tiny ads for quick weight loss pills in the back of magazines.

Many of us have no concept of good versus bad foods because of lack of education. Even now, what “education” I have comes from posters here, and sometimes the arguments are overwhelming and I (honestly) shut down and tune out.

A friend is always harping on and on about this is bad, that’s bad, this chemical is going to kill me, or that ones been proven bad.

The noise in our heads can be deafening, even when we have done comparatively well.

So I get where she’s coming from with guilt. I’m thinking less guilt, and more likely confusion and frustration.

I have a wonderful (and sometimes confusing and frustrating) yoga teacher who tells us to feel it, acknowledge it, and let it go.

He’s referring to pain or stress in the body, but good words for guilt, too.

Thank you for the nice words you two.

Last night when I was writing my previous post I *was* tired and got myself twisted in a loop with the old processed food arguments we used to have on the boards. And because of the time I didn't re-read my answer within the hour!

I had to run into @kshama2001 's answer to the OP's same question in "Health and Weight Loss" to realize that I was just circling around the world "hyperpalatable" -- it just wasn't popping to mind due to advanced age no doubt

Pretty much all of us are keyed to "hyperpalatable" foods... that attraction and pull is their DEFINITION.

Team A can handle hyperpalatable stuff. They eat awesome tasting stuff till they have taken in enough calories and then... lose interest. And Stop. What kind of magic is that? I'm not a Team A person! I am also not sure that there is an abundance of Team A members logging on MFP! That's it for Team A!

Team B can "handle" hyperplatable stuff. They build processes, tricks, rules, fences, boundaries, organize a rearguard, create plans, and then practiced escaping from the hyperpalatable black hole during weight loss!

Sounds like a lot of work (but it isn't really because you DO have time to deal with stuff if you are losing weight at a moderate pace). And, in the end, if you build your brick house patiently, persistently, and ultimately well enough, the hyperpalatable wolf will huff and puff, but the brick house will stand--more times than not -- or at least sufficiently to be able to successfully manage your weight!

Team C realizes they cannot or do not want to either handle or "handle" the hyperpalatable stuff. C.1. swears that they will never touch it again. C.2. tries to find ways of eating that exclude it.

C team people sometimes succeed in keeping to their chosen options long term. Sometimes they fail to do so, but do adapt and keep going. Or, the majority, fail to continue long term (5+ years) AND also do not manage to adapt.

Frankly the same applies to the B team people (the 5+ year stuff) Except that, by definition, a process of building and rebuilding "defenses", i.e. active management, assumes that one continues to tinker with and build incremental habits while engaging in some self reflection. And, I think, ultimately, such a process ends up with a custom suit that may better fit a particular individual.

I don't dis team C.x. The options are powerful and give immediate results. If the methods suits the people. And if they manage to keep to it.

But I think that too many of the people who choose C assume that the magic is in the C process itself instead of giving themselves the power to recognize that the power is in THEM in that they have selected and chosen to manage themselves via the C process.

And that if it no longer suits them they still have the power to choose a different method instead of assuming that the magic is gone (or too difficult, or no longer worth it) and they might as well give up.

Basically I "feelZ" that team "B" ends up creating more of a custom fit than C. But that's what it is. A "feelZ". Colored by what I've seen with others around me and what I know about myself.

So now we come to pizza!

I used to eat a large pizza and a 2L pop when I was in my 20's (even 30's). In fact in my 20's I would even order two at a time so that I would have some for the "next day".

I now do one, two or three, at the most, SLICES. If I am eating three slices chances are extremely high that it will be in the context of a maintenance or overage day. Remember that my average TDEE over the past 9+ years has been between 2900 and 2950. That's there for context. The rest is simple arithmetic.

In the context of weight loss you WILL have to evaluate WHAT is "worth" it and what isn't "worth" it to you. That's where logging and review come in. And you will have to come up with HOW you are going to fit it in your day. Or abstain from having it at all.

As is obvious I am on the Team B, fit it in camp, if it is worthwhile enough to you.

Just like @kshama2001 if my "meal" is pizza I will usually eat it with a low calorie salad or fresh veggies. Heck I used to surround pizza slices with cherry tomatoes and carrots! OR I will be treating the pizza as a snack to keep me going and I will have my remaining meals structured so as to provide the lower calorie "filler" This is more what I tend to do these days.

I do try to avoid dinners where two of us will split a pizza by ordering something individual that is NOT a personal pizza. If "forced" into it (f.e. restaurant) I tend to load up on diet pop BEFORE and during the meal, try to eat slowly, and realize that it will be a maintenance/overage day. One option would be to immediately ask for a take out box and put a slice or two in it before you start eating.

But the above (fitting a pizza in your day) is a very different scenario from the one where "I've just left the hospital after visiting my xyz friend or relative and on the way back home at 1:00 am I go into the dougnut place, order a 24 pack, and then proceed to stuff my face with everything in the tray while driving the rest of the way back home! THAT is not caused because the food is hyperpalatable, or processed, or has sugars, fats, or protein!

@PAV8888 Interesting team descriptions...


my thoughts on op question, teams and whatnots...

Perhaps, with practice can change teams.

Perhaps unrealistc to expect one to go from team c or x to team a or even team b by deciding to when the person is suffering overwhelming urges and often unable to resist.

On a broader look across many MFP discussions -- telling team c or x just to be in team a... or b... and/or minimizing/dis-missing the struggle can shut down authentic requests/discussions, recognition of real, significant problems... It comes across this way too often... when this should be a place to talk about these things...

For this discussion, a lot of ideas and encouragement has been shared.

In the process of change, we goof up, try more. Set aside the guilt, but assess... what hapoened, why, what can i try next time?

Think of an athlete learning something new like how to dive into a pool. First the beginning skills, get in water, hold breath, kick, swim, jump in... a coach suggests trying something, assesses what happened, suggests an adjustment or next step to try, and athlete tries/practices it.

The cycle repeats. It is good to recognize it might be super hard or feel impossible... And, to set aside feelings of guilt or failure. When we practice, change, it is normal to goof up. Just need to try again and keep trying and through this process, we make progress, improve, learn new skills.

How we deal with food and changing what we do can be a lot like that... worth it to keep at it