Pregnant and anxious

kcd394
kcd394 Posts: 397 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I am currently pregnant with my first child due in July and i am 34 almost 35. I had lost weight all the way down to 164 from 205 and had maintained myself around 168 ish for a year or so but then just before I got pregnant I had resolved to make a push for losing some more weight (goal weight is like 145-150) while I tried to get pregnant as I had gained back to 178.

I was fortunate to get pregnant rather quickly, but that means I started out with an obese bmi and at almost 25 weeks pregnant I am horrified that the scale is at 194 today. I understand that I cannot try to diet right now, but I feel like in the last month I've gone off the rails and I'm eating way too much junk and I still haven't done much for physical activity. I know the glucose screening test is coming up, and so far I've had fantastic health with this pregnancy, but I feel out of control and I am super disheartened by the numbers on the scale that I had worked so hard to lose for years.

I had made a promise to myself that I'd never see 200 lbs again, and looks like it's pretty likely as I've got 3 months to go and she's just starting to really grow fast. That being said I am planning to have another baby after this and scared and anxious about how in the world I can possibly slim down some between the two pregnancies to mitigate and minimize the whale of a problem I've created. I just know that if at the end of this I am starting over above 200 lbs I will feel overwhelmed as if the last 4 years of work meant nothing, and this time it'll be that much harder as a busy mom and wife. Just trying to take a deep breath and realize I can do it again, especially once I have a little girl to do it all for this time, not just for myself. It's just disheartening to feel like it was all erased and you have to go through all of that again.

Any encouraging words and success stories for those of you who've been there might help lift my mood. I've finally said the thing bothering me, written down my fears, and with that I can finally make efforts now to combat some issues. I'm making more healthy meals this week, I'm not going to buy more junk food so I'm not tempted to eat it, and I made the effort to go for an actual 20 min walk today at lunch with my dog. Going to make a push for more walking, healthier meal habits, and avoiding purchasing junk food when possible. Currently that's what I can do and control. Trying to remember there's a miracle that's happening inside me (and kicking me all day) and be more accepting of the fact that weight gain is going to happen, but that I can do some things to try and stay as healthy as I can and minimize it. Just mentally struggling to see the scale approach that 200 again after all the work I did to bid it goodbye.

Replies

  • sollyn23l2
    sollyn23l2 Posts: 1,755 Member
    kcd394 wrote: »
    I am currently pregnant with my first child due in July and i am 34 almost 35. I had lost weight all the way down to 164 from 205 and had maintained myself around 168 ish for a year or so but then just before I got pregnant I had resolved to make a push for losing some more weight (goal weight is like 145-150) while I tried to get pregnant as I had gained back to 178.

    I was fortunate to get pregnant rather quickly, but that means I started out with an obese bmi and at almost 25 weeks pregnant I am horrified that the scale is at 194 today. I understand that I cannot try to diet right now, but I feel like in the last month I've gone off the rails and I'm eating way too much junk and I still haven't done much for physical activity. I know the glucose screening test is coming up, and so far I've had fantastic health with this pregnancy, but I feel out of control and I am super disheartened by the numbers on the scale that I had worked so hard to lose for years.

    I had made a promise to myself that I'd never see 200 lbs again, and looks like it's pretty likely as I've got 3 months to go and she's just starting to really grow fast. That being said I am planning to have another baby after this and scared and anxious about how in the world I can possibly slim down some between the two pregnancies to mitigate and minimize the whale of a problem I've created. I just know that if at the end of this I am starting over above 200 lbs I will feel overwhelmed as if the last 4 years of work meant nothing, and this time it'll be that much harder as a busy mom and wife. Just trying to take a deep breath and realize I can do it again, especially once I have a little girl to do it all for this time, not just for myself. It's just disheartening to feel like it was all erased and you have to go through all of that again.

    Any encouraging words and success stories for those of you who've been there might help lift my mood. I've finally said the thing bothering me, written down my fears, and with that I can finally make efforts now to combat some issues. I'm making more healthy meals this week, I'm not going to buy more junk food so I'm not tempted to eat it, and I made the effort to go for an actual 20 min walk today at lunch with my dog. Going to make a push for more walking, healthier meal habits, and avoiding purchasing junk food when possible. Currently that's what I can do and control. Trying to remember there's a miracle that's happening inside me (and kicking me all day) and be more accepting of the fact that weight gain is going to happen, but that I can do some things to try and stay as healthy as I can and minimize it. Just mentally struggling to see the scale approach that 200 again after all the work I did to bid it goodbye.

    The articles I've read state it's healthy to put on 25-35 pounds during pregnancy, if that helps.
  • kcd394
    kcd394 Posts: 397 Member
    I did start tracking again yesterday and reset my calories to 2000 a day (should maybe aim closer to 1800 I guess). What I've read on weight gain Is if you were obese bmi to start you want to stay between 15-25 lb of gain. Unfortunately I was in that category. But I'm pulling back on the reigns so to speak and trying to slow that down and focus on healthy options vs eating out and sweets. Brought lunch to work today, made overnight oats for today's breakfast, etc. Will chat with my arm more on Monday about the weight gain.
  • Deb_in_Florida
    Deb_in_Florida Posts: 2 Member
    Speak to your doctor about how many calories a day you need to be eating. I actually lost weight during pregnancy. Came out 6 pounds lighter. The main thing is to eat healthy foods. If you eat healthy and don't give in to cravings, you should be fine.
  • xrj22
    xrj22 Posts: 217 Member
    Don't panic. First of all, you will probably loose 20 lbs with the birth of the baby - you loose not only the weight of the baby, but also amneotic fluid, and also a lot of other water that your body tends to gain during pregnancy. Also many people loose weigh during breastfeeding. For now, focus on health, not on weight. If you are worried about diabetes, then do worry about that junk food that you mentioned.
  • sollyn23l2
    sollyn23l2 Posts: 1,755 Member
    edited April 11
    JBanx256 wrote: »
    sollyn23l2 wrote: »

    The articles I've read state it's healthy to put on 25-35 pounds during pregnancy, if that helps.

    That's assuming one is at a healthy/appropriate weight to begin with. A woman who is significantly underweight may be encouraged to gain > 35 and a woman who is significantly overweight may not need to gain anywhere near 25+.

    None of which is really relevant, since we don't really know any of those things about the OP.
  • kcd394
    kcd394 Posts: 397 Member
    Couple extra bits of info. I'm 35 or will be in may before giving birth (due in july) so I'm considered advanced maternal age and at higher risk of gestational diabetes and pre-eclampsia etc. I'm also 5'4" and was about 178 when I got pregnant which is a little over 30 BMI and considered obese. I was 205 lb in 2019 when I started my last push for weight loss and had reached 164 last year. This had finally put me below a 30 bmi and into the "overweight" category for the first time since probably Jr. High or high school maybe. I was really excited and proud of that, but i then regained a little bit and was ready to push back and get back under a 30 bmi and managed to get pregnant quicker than I anticipated.

    I am feeling a bit better about things now as I've been packing healthier lunches, made ahead my breakfasts, and successfully avoided some unhealthy takeout and snacks so far this week. Not quite as controlled as I'm aiming to be yet but definitely way closer this week than last. Also, I have gone for walks at lunch with my dog both Monday and today. I've also been logging everything I've eaten this week, which usually helps me to stay on track and make more conscious decisions about what I'm putting into my mouth. Getting back in the groove and I have a Dr. Appt on Monday so I can ask about calories.

    How do you new moms juggle trying to exercise with care of a new baby? Do you do it when they're down for naps? Walk with them (stroller or sling or something) to get in steps? Make dad take over for a while so you can go workout? And what kind of stuff did you do to start with, as I assume your body is pretty wrecked after the process of childbirth and not able to do full on workouts that are strenuous for a little while...

    Thanks for your replies so far, I was mostly just venting the anxiety and trying to regain a sense of self control and create a plan to control what I am able to and let go of what I can't. Would love to hear any post birth weight loss success stories!
  • sollyn23l2
    sollyn23l2 Posts: 1,755 Member
    kcd394 wrote: »
    Couple extra bits of info. I'm 35 or will be in may before giving birth (due in july) so I'm considered advanced maternal age and at higher risk of gestational diabetes and pre-eclampsia etc. I'm also 5'4" and was about 178 when I got pregnant which is a little over 30 BMI and considered obese. I was 205 lb in 2019 when I started my last push for weight loss and had reached 164 last year. This had finally put me below a 30 bmi and into the "overweight" category for the first time since probably Jr. High or high school maybe. I was really excited and proud of that, but i then regained a little bit and was ready to push back and get back under a 30 bmi and managed to get pregnant quicker than I anticipated.

    I am feeling a bit better about things now as I've been packing healthier lunches, made ahead my breakfasts, and successfully avoided some unhealthy takeout and snacks so far this week. Not quite as controlled as I'm aiming to be yet but definitely way closer this week than last. Also, I have gone for walks at lunch with my dog both Monday and today. I've also been logging everything I've eaten this week, which usually helps me to stay on track and make more conscious decisions about what I'm putting into my mouth. Getting back in the groove and I have a Dr. Appt on Monday so I can ask about calories.

    How do you new moms juggle trying to exercise with care of a new baby? Do you do it when they're down for naps? Walk with them (stroller or sling or something) to get in steps? Make dad take over for a while so you can go workout? And what kind of stuff did you do to start with, as I assume your body is pretty wrecked after the process of childbirth and not able to do full on workouts that are strenuous for a little while...

    Thanks for your replies so far, I was mostly just venting the anxiety and trying to regain a sense of self control and create a plan to control what I am able to and let go of what I can't. Would love to hear any post birth weight loss success stories!

    Good for you for sticking with it! You can do this.
  • melissaaridgeway
    melissaaridgeway Posts: 278 Member
    Just a bit of encouragement. I just had my 3rd baby a little less than a month ago. I had been on MFP and tracking and doing good for almost 8 months before I got pregnant and dropped 70lbs. Then I got pregnant and was in "survival mode" (eating whatever my body would allow during that first trimester craziness, which wasn't the healthiest diet) and then just kinda...did what I could. I gained 66lbs (which was far more than my previous two pregnancies). It was sad seeing allllllll my hard work down the drain however, after the birth event and the swelling went down, I lost about 20lbs. And now breastfeeding and following MFP tracking, I've lost another 10lbs.

    All this to say...just be kind to your body. You are making a human. The weight will come back off after baby is born. Don't stress about the weight flooding on you right now too much. You'll get to where you want to be health/weight-wise, but worrying about that while pregnant isn't the time, IMO. Also, if you plan on breastfeeding that will help weight to come off (I'm on the "1lb weight loss" goal per week and I'm losing weight more like I'm on the "2lb weight loss" goal)
  • SafariGalNYC
    SafariGalNYC Posts: 1,461 Member
    edited April 13
    kcd394 wrote: »

    How do you new moms juggle trying to exercise with care of a new baby? Do you do it when they're down for naps? Walk with them (stroller or sling or something) to get in steps? Make dad take over for a while so you can go workout? And what kind of stuff did you do to start with, as I assume your body is pretty wrecked after the process of childbirth and not able to do full on workouts that are strenuous for a little while...

    I’m sure you will get a vast array of experiences …
    Everyone approaches this differently.

    My perspective- for me pregnancy is an empowering experience and a feat of strength.

    Self care with a new child is important… it could be just simple stretching in the morning while healing the first few weeks. Then going for walks, arm weights, planks, etc at home. Building up to more strength exercises and core.

    Everyone’s point of view is different on the toll of childbirth and there are so many divergent experiences.. I’ve never thought of it as wrecking a body since its natural process. I always thought of it as an almost athletic experience where I get to influence the development of a feat of nature. I think it also depends on how much we take care of ourselves during the process as well.

    ☘️

  • ddsb1111
    ddsb1111 Posts: 871 Member
    edited April 13
    SafariGalNYC wrote: »
    kcd394 wrote: »

    How do you new moms juggle trying to exercise with care of a new baby? Do you do it when they're down for naps? Walk with them (stroller or sling or something) to get in steps? Make dad take over for a while so you can go workout? And what kind of stuff did you do to start with, as I assume your body is pretty wrecked after the process of childbirth and not able to do full on workouts that are strenuous for a little while...

    I’m sure you will get a vast array of experiences …
    Everyone approaches this differently.

    My perspective- for me pregnancy is an empowering experience and a feat of strength.

    Self care with a new child is important… it could be just simple stretching in the morning while healing the first few weeks. Then going for walks, arm weights, planks, etc at home. Building up to more strength exercises and core.

    Everyone’s point of view is different on the toll of childbirth and there are so many divergent experiences.. I’ve never thought of it as wrecking a body since its natural process. I always thought of it as an almost athletic experience where I get to influence the development of a feat of nature. I think it also depends on how much we take care of ourselves during the process as well.

    ☘️

    This seems out of context. She is speaking in terms of working out after childbirth and your body being “wrecked” or physically healing from such a feat, is my understanding.

    I love your attitude about childbirth though. Really empowering. I wish I felt that way personally but as beautiful as nature is, it doesn’t lack suffering and trauma. That, to me, is part of nature, good or bad.
  • SafariGalNYC
    SafariGalNYC Posts: 1,461 Member
    edited April 13
    ddsb1111 wrote: »
    SafariGalNYC wrote: »
    kcd394 wrote: »

    How do you new moms juggle trying to exercise with care of a new baby? Do you do it when they're down for naps? Walk with them (stroller or sling or something) to get in steps? Make dad take over for a while so you can go workout? And what kind of stuff did you do to start with, as I assume your body is pretty wrecked after the process of childbirth and not able to do full on workouts that are strenuous for a little while...

    I’m sure you will get a vast array of experiences …
    Everyone approaches this differently.

    My perspective- for me pregnancy is an empowering experience and a feat of strength.

    Self care with a new child is important… it could be just simple stretching in the morning while healing the first few weeks. Then going for walks, arm weights, planks, etc at home. Building up to more strength exercises and core.

    Everyone’s point of view is different on the toll of childbirth and there are so many divergent experiences.. I’ve never thought of it as wrecking a body since its natural process. I always thought of it as an almost athletic experience where I get to influence the development of a feat of nature. I think it also depends on how much we take care of ourselves during the process as well.

    ☘️

    This seems out of context. She is speaking in terms of working out after childbirth and your body being “wrecked” or physically healing from such a feat, is my understanding.

    I love your attitude about childbirth though. Really empowering. I wish I felt that way personally but as beautiful as nature is, it doesn’t lack suffering and trauma. That, to me, is part of nature, good or bad.

    I can see that POV @ddsb1111 ….

    Wrecked to me says broken or severely damaged … which is absolutely true for some people who have had traumatic birth experiences. My mind came from a non traumatic or non complicated birth. Trauma being personal and subjective.

    I was compelled to share a perspective that not everyone has a feeling of being broken or out of shape after … some do feel exhilarated and strong. God willing.
  • kcd394
    kcd394 Posts: 397 Member
    I am glad to hear that POV. Sometimes hearing that from someone who's been there brings hope and a new mindset that it may not be as traumatic and damaging as I fear it could be. That did help me shift my perspective a bit, though I know for some it is a bit more physically traumatic. Just met with OB and only gained 1 lb in the last few weeks so doing well there. She has me at a total of 14 lb gained so far and wasn't upset about it. Asked if 2000 cal a day was ok and she said so far its working, but yeah I don't really want you on a diet per se. So next visit is in a couple weeks for the glucose test and we'll see how it goes. Still have great BP and have come to terms with the scale climbing past 200 (was 199 today) but I resolve to try and keep it minimized while still allowing her to get the nutrition she needs to grow. Getting closer to the home stretch...
  • kcd394
    kcd394 Posts: 397 Member
    Well looks like it was actually 7 lb I gained not 1 (that was last month as the nurse hadn't put in that days weight yet). So I've supposedly gained 21 lbs since I got pregnant. Still working on healthier snacks and watching calorie intake so hopefully that will keep her healthy and minimize unnecessary gains for me.
  • Tab122377
    Tab122377 Posts: 81 Member
    Congradulation on your pregancy. I understand you're consern. What i can say is make healthy food decision and keep on moving even if it walking. After you have your baby while you can not exercise know that you can still put your little on in stroller and take them for a walk just keep moving. Do not stress over weight while pregant as the baby is part of that weight I know it hard but know that you lost weight onces you will do it again.
  • kcd394
    kcd394 Posts: 397 Member
    Update. Today is my due date. Woke up to a real contraction at 1:18 am and again at 3:45 am. This last week on Monday I think the scale at dr office was 215 or 212. My work scale is usually about 5 lb less. So that means in total I went from about 178 to 207. Some is swelling/edema, some is baby, some is amniotic fluid and some is the extra blood volume. I've learned to be ok with it and have overall been pleased with the weight gain that did occur. My mom came from out of state and said I was mostly baby by the looks of it which was a mental boost lol. If you're reading this down the road don't panic about the weight, just try to enjoy the ride and focus on the new life you're creating and trying to be healthy. Am I still concerned about recovery and losing the excess between this baby and next? Yes. But imminent birth and parenthood has a way of blunting that concern. I do know I've done it twice before though, and I can and will do it again.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,204 Member
    Congratulations, @kcd394: What a wonderful milestone, and it sounds like you've done very, very well along the way despite some initial concerns. Good show!

    I'm wishing you a smooth and successful labor and delivery - maybe let us know how it goes, if/when you feel up to it? - and good wishes for recovery (in all senses) after your new baby arrives, too.

    What a good update! :heart:
  • return2fitness
    return2fitness Posts: 3 Member
    Congrats @kcd394 ! How are you feeling? Hope you and the baby are well!

    I gave birth to my first last year. I actually lost weight the first half of my pregnancy due to nausea but ended up gaining a lot of weight the last trimester. I ended up losing quite a bit of the weight (at least 20 lbs) during the 2nd and 3rd weeks postpartum. However, I gained about 10 lbs over the next 6 months as I healed and adjusted to life with a baby. Now, I'm finally able to exercise and start working towards my health and weight loss goals.

    Every body is different, so go easy on yourself during the first year or so postpartum - your body is still healing and adjusting. And if you find the newborn phase difficult, know that you're not alone and it's okay - for me, that phase was about surviving.
  • kcd394
    kcd394 Posts: 397 Member
    You're not kidding.The newborn phase is definitely about survival. I ended up giving birth 2 days after my due date. Everything went fine. I only had an episiotomy and epidural. At 4 or 6 weeks postpartum. I was sitting around 186 pounds. I think pretty soon I'll be able to start working out and be comfortable doing so. We have been on some walks this last week though which helps. I've just been very overwhelmed with pumping as my baby won't breastfeed and generally trying to get the hang of being a mom and caring for a newborn.

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