LESS Alcohol ~ MAY 2024 ~ One Day at A Time
MissMay
Posts: 3,749 Member
Do you want to drink LESS? Completely stop or just cut back?
Cutting back can mean ONE less drink a day, week or month. Or deciding to drink on only weekends or at special occasions.
On the flip side, maybe you could use this nudge to finally get to that completely sober point and be all in-alcohol free.
Join us in drinking LESS (whatever that means for you) as we continue to support and learn from each other.
■ LESS ALCOHOL RESOURCE & GENERAL INFORMATION LIST ■
USING THIS THREAD:
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Join us at any time.
•Set your own goal - this thread is about drinking less and you decide what that means to you.
•There are no scheduled check-ins - post as often or as little as you want or need.
•AF is an acronym for Alcohol Free. For others commonly used on this site see - https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1069278/acronyms-and-terms-for-new-mfp-members-v-6/p1
•To follow this thread easily, bookmark it by clicking on the star at the top right of this thread.
•Remember that we are here for you and care about you. Check in with us when you have time and let us know what you need!
TIPS & OBSERVATIONS FROM OUR USERS:
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Getting Started or Starting Over.
•Some people find it easier to set small attainable goals at the beginning to help boost confidence.
•If you have been drinking daily the first days will be some of the hardest and drinking again will feel like a cure but it delays the relief that only time can provide.
•There will always be a reason to delay the start/restart of your journey.
•For those ready to commit to being alcohol-free permanently, the videos on YouTube by Craig Beck will help. He also has a program you can join.
•You may experience mood swings and anxiety during your first two weeks. It is suggested you try and focus on the benefits of your goal.
•Cravings are said to last only 6 minutes, so find something to distract you like arming yourself with alternatives: tea, mock-tails, activities, etc.
•You may find that filling the time you drink with other activities like exercise or hobbies can be a helpful distraction.
•If you find them tempting try and avoid events/outings that will have drinking for a time.
•Don't let pride or shame keep you from asking for the help you need.
•Sometimes talking it out or posting your thoughts/feelings/struggles may help you work things out for yourself.
•It is okay that you don't always have all the answers.
•Some days will be easier than others.
•You may have initial/increased sugar cravings.
•You should never take a day that you have lived up to your goals for granted.
•Celebrate the smaller victories too. Less alcohol is still less alcohol even if your goal was zero at that moment.
•Once you begin sticking to your goals for one day to many days you should believe you are capable of the same and more because you are.
•Failure is not giving in and drinking. Failure is to stop trying to accomplish your goals.
•Annie Grace (This Naked Mind author) has a free program on her website (https://www.alcoholexperiment.com/) called the 30 day experiment which can be joined anonymously.
Life with Less Alcohol:
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•It can be helpful to educate yourself with books and web research (Some suggested books and links listed below).
•There is no benefit to comparing yourself to others because this is a personal journey.
•You may often feel conflicted. You will know that there are numerous real benefits to sticking to your goal while at the same time think that alcohol is an important part of stress relief, relaxation, celebration, etc.
•You may feel punished by not drinking or drinking less but that feeling usually fades with time.
•Sometimes drinking less or quitting will strain friendships that centered around alcohol.
•Having a list of reasons to stick to your goals handy for yourself can be helpful. Some lists have included remembering how bad it feels to have a hangover, excess/unwanted calories, having a racing heart during the night, sleeplessness, anxiety, and depression.
•It is a good idea to have a plan for how you might deal with various tempting scenarios before engaging in a social situation.
•Self-Reflection is an important part of the journey. Once we figure out why we drink we can hopefully use that information to form new habits and make better and more mindful decisions.
•Sometimes doing something nice for yourself like a little reward for a success makes the journey easier.
•You will see many helpful suggestions and ideas that work for some people. However, finding what tactics work for you may involve some trial and error.
•It is not uncommon for certain activities that were once combined with alcohol to trigger temptation. Many have said that outdoor activities in warmer weather made alcohol very tempting.
•Many that have spent time with no alcohol after drinking again realized that it doesn't enhance experiences like they once believed it did. Some have said they no longer like the taste.
•Don't forget how sticking to your goal has made your life better and remember it to motivate you again if you fall off your path.
•If you begin drinking daily again whether planned like a vacation or unplanned you may once again face a struggle to get it under control.
•For some people it is easier to not drink than it is to moderate drinking. Others have found moderating impossible.
Reported Benefits of Less or No Drinking: (Results may be incremental, and/or they may vary)
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Improved sleep after 2,4,7,10,& 60 days
•Improved skin/complexion after 10 days
•Improved ease in weight loss. Not only from the savings of alcohol calories but some report making poor food choices after drinking.
•Increased energy after as few as 2 days
•Increase in other fun activities. Some have found that daily drinking became their main recreational activity and their world was decreased in size.
•Increased productivity
•Reduction of high blood pressure
•Lower resting heart rate
•Less Acid Re-flux
•Significant financial savings
•More creativity
•More productivity
•Better relationships with family
When Alcohol Is Used for Avoidance:
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•We drink to ease the stress of the working day, to avoid it.
•We drink to avoid anxiety in social situations.
•We drink to avoid making decisions about not drinking.
•The Takeaway on Avoidance, our problems don't go away if we avoid them. We need to learn to face them.
•Having a clear head makes our problems seem much smaller.
•Having a clear head makes problems easier to solve.
How to Be Kind to "Tomorrow You":
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Instead of lumbering with guilt, headaches, and poor nutrition hangovers in the morning, Think of think how nice it would be not to feel that way tomorrow.
•Worry about "me" and don't let "tomorrow Me" feel awful.
•Instead of thinking alcohol is something nice to have *now*, think of *NOT drinking* as something nice we can do for the person we are when we awaken in the morning.
•Do you bank calories for a festive occasion? (Handy tactic) We can bank a good mood for when we wake up.
•We need to have sympathy for "Tomorrow You" and be kind to her/him.
•Don't look at a day without alcohol as a punishment for being bad or having no willpower.
•Not drinking is a lovely, sympathetic gesture towards the person we are now, and whom we will wake up as.
•You’d be kind to a stranger. Be kind to "Tomorrow You".
LINKS:
▪▪▪▪
•General Information/Blog Sites:
https://thesoberschool.com/
https://thisnakedmind.com/blog/
https://alcoholmastery.com/blog/
•Sobriety Blog:
http://mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com/
•The Thirty Day Experiment:
https://www.alcoholexperiment.com/
•Ten Things That Helped Me Quit Booze:
https://unpickledblog.com/2017/01/04/replacement-behaviours-ten-things-that-helped-me-kick-booze/?wref=tp
•The Neuroscience Behind How We Make Decisions:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201505/the-neuroscience-making-decision
•Summary of Book on Addiction:
https://drgabormate.com/book/in-the-realm-of-hungry-ghosts/
•Article on the Difference Between Being an Alcoholic and Really Liking to Drink:
https://www.self.com/story/alcoholic-or-just-really-like-to-drink
•To the Mom questioning her drinking habits:
http://www.scarymommy.com/questioning-drinking-habits/
•Guided Meditations:
http://marc.ucla.edu/mindful-meditations
ALTERNATIVE DRINKS:
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Overnight Cold Brew Iced Tea:
https://www.splendidtable.org/story/you-can-cold-brew-iced-tea-while-you-sleep
•Mocktail Recipes:
https://www.allrecipes.com/recipes/1822/drinks/mocktails/
https://www.foodandwine.com/cocktails-spirits/mocktails
https://www.townandcountrymag.com/leisure/drinks/how-to/g785/best-mocktail-recipes/
APPS:
▪▪▪▪
•Daybreak iOS link. A Deakin University study of hundreds of health apps found that Daybreak is one of only four that have proven effective and provide quality assistance.
•Dry Days by AlcoChange iOS is for those who want to cut down or cut out the booze throughout the year, while seeing the impact it has on your health and wallet.
•nomo - Sobriety Clocks iOS - In addition to an alcohol clock and monetary savings this app lets you check in and do a sobriety exercise if you're tempted and connect with accountability partners.
•Sobriety Counter - Stop Drinking (Sobriety Counter - EasyQuit pro version) Android- Provides health stats, money saved, games to distract you, motivational tips, and several other features
BOOKS:
▪▪▪▪
•Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol
by Holly Whitaker
•The Naked Mind by Annie Grace
•Alcohol Lied to Me by Craig Beck
•Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey
•The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray
•The Liars Club, Cherry, and Lit by Mary Karr (3 different publications)
•Kick the Drink...Easily by Jason Vale
•Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp
•Being Sober: A Step-by-Step Guide to Getting To, Getting Through, and Living in Recovery by Harry Haroutunian
•The Easy, Illustrated Way to Quit Drinking by Alan Carr
•Alcohol Explained by William Porter
Credit and thanks to the MFP Less Alcohol One Day at a Time participants
For their willingness to share their insights and resourcefulness in finding this information
~Established 2017~
Cutting back can mean ONE less drink a day, week or month. Or deciding to drink on only weekends or at special occasions.
On the flip side, maybe you could use this nudge to finally get to that completely sober point and be all in-alcohol free.
Join us in drinking LESS (whatever that means for you) as we continue to support and learn from each other.
■ LESS ALCOHOL RESOURCE & GENERAL INFORMATION LIST ■
USING THIS THREAD:
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Join us at any time.
•Set your own goal - this thread is about drinking less and you decide what that means to you.
•There are no scheduled check-ins - post as often or as little as you want or need.
•AF is an acronym for Alcohol Free. For others commonly used on this site see - https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1069278/acronyms-and-terms-for-new-mfp-members-v-6/p1
•To follow this thread easily, bookmark it by clicking on the star at the top right of this thread.
•Remember that we are here for you and care about you. Check in with us when you have time and let us know what you need!
TIPS & OBSERVATIONS FROM OUR USERS:
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Getting Started or Starting Over.
•Some people find it easier to set small attainable goals at the beginning to help boost confidence.
•If you have been drinking daily the first days will be some of the hardest and drinking again will feel like a cure but it delays the relief that only time can provide.
•There will always be a reason to delay the start/restart of your journey.
•For those ready to commit to being alcohol-free permanently, the videos on YouTube by Craig Beck will help. He also has a program you can join.
•You may experience mood swings and anxiety during your first two weeks. It is suggested you try and focus on the benefits of your goal.
•Cravings are said to last only 6 minutes, so find something to distract you like arming yourself with alternatives: tea, mock-tails, activities, etc.
•You may find that filling the time you drink with other activities like exercise or hobbies can be a helpful distraction.
•If you find them tempting try and avoid events/outings that will have drinking for a time.
•Don't let pride or shame keep you from asking for the help you need.
•Sometimes talking it out or posting your thoughts/feelings/struggles may help you work things out for yourself.
•It is okay that you don't always have all the answers.
•Some days will be easier than others.
•You may have initial/increased sugar cravings.
•You should never take a day that you have lived up to your goals for granted.
•Celebrate the smaller victories too. Less alcohol is still less alcohol even if your goal was zero at that moment.
•Once you begin sticking to your goals for one day to many days you should believe you are capable of the same and more because you are.
•Failure is not giving in and drinking. Failure is to stop trying to accomplish your goals.
•Annie Grace (This Naked Mind author) has a free program on her website (https://www.alcoholexperiment.com/) called the 30 day experiment which can be joined anonymously.
Life with Less Alcohol:
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•It can be helpful to educate yourself with books and web research (Some suggested books and links listed below).
•There is no benefit to comparing yourself to others because this is a personal journey.
•You may often feel conflicted. You will know that there are numerous real benefits to sticking to your goal while at the same time think that alcohol is an important part of stress relief, relaxation, celebration, etc.
•You may feel punished by not drinking or drinking less but that feeling usually fades with time.
•Sometimes drinking less or quitting will strain friendships that centered around alcohol.
•Having a list of reasons to stick to your goals handy for yourself can be helpful. Some lists have included remembering how bad it feels to have a hangover, excess/unwanted calories, having a racing heart during the night, sleeplessness, anxiety, and depression.
•It is a good idea to have a plan for how you might deal with various tempting scenarios before engaging in a social situation.
•Self-Reflection is an important part of the journey. Once we figure out why we drink we can hopefully use that information to form new habits and make better and more mindful decisions.
•Sometimes doing something nice for yourself like a little reward for a success makes the journey easier.
•You will see many helpful suggestions and ideas that work for some people. However, finding what tactics work for you may involve some trial and error.
•It is not uncommon for certain activities that were once combined with alcohol to trigger temptation. Many have said that outdoor activities in warmer weather made alcohol very tempting.
•Many that have spent time with no alcohol after drinking again realized that it doesn't enhance experiences like they once believed it did. Some have said they no longer like the taste.
•Don't forget how sticking to your goal has made your life better and remember it to motivate you again if you fall off your path.
•If you begin drinking daily again whether planned like a vacation or unplanned you may once again face a struggle to get it under control.
•For some people it is easier to not drink than it is to moderate drinking. Others have found moderating impossible.
Reported Benefits of Less or No Drinking: (Results may be incremental, and/or they may vary)
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Improved sleep after 2,4,7,10,& 60 days
•Improved skin/complexion after 10 days
•Improved ease in weight loss. Not only from the savings of alcohol calories but some report making poor food choices after drinking.
•Increased energy after as few as 2 days
•Increase in other fun activities. Some have found that daily drinking became their main recreational activity and their world was decreased in size.
•Increased productivity
•Reduction of high blood pressure
•Lower resting heart rate
•Less Acid Re-flux
•Significant financial savings
•More creativity
•More productivity
•Better relationships with family
When Alcohol Is Used for Avoidance:
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•We drink to ease the stress of the working day, to avoid it.
•We drink to avoid anxiety in social situations.
•We drink to avoid making decisions about not drinking.
•The Takeaway on Avoidance, our problems don't go away if we avoid them. We need to learn to face them.
•Having a clear head makes our problems seem much smaller.
•Having a clear head makes problems easier to solve.
How to Be Kind to "Tomorrow You":
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Instead of lumbering with guilt, headaches, and poor nutrition hangovers in the morning, Think of think how nice it would be not to feel that way tomorrow.
•Worry about "me" and don't let "tomorrow Me" feel awful.
•Instead of thinking alcohol is something nice to have *now*, think of *NOT drinking* as something nice we can do for the person we are when we awaken in the morning.
•Do you bank calories for a festive occasion? (Handy tactic) We can bank a good mood for when we wake up.
•We need to have sympathy for "Tomorrow You" and be kind to her/him.
•Don't look at a day without alcohol as a punishment for being bad or having no willpower.
•Not drinking is a lovely, sympathetic gesture towards the person we are now, and whom we will wake up as.
•You’d be kind to a stranger. Be kind to "Tomorrow You".
LINKS:
▪▪▪▪
•General Information/Blog Sites:
https://thesoberschool.com/
https://thisnakedmind.com/blog/
https://alcoholmastery.com/blog/
•Sobriety Blog:
http://mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com/
•The Thirty Day Experiment:
https://www.alcoholexperiment.com/
•Ten Things That Helped Me Quit Booze:
https://unpickledblog.com/2017/01/04/replacement-behaviours-ten-things-that-helped-me-kick-booze/?wref=tp
•The Neuroscience Behind How We Make Decisions:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201505/the-neuroscience-making-decision
•Summary of Book on Addiction:
https://drgabormate.com/book/in-the-realm-of-hungry-ghosts/
•Article on the Difference Between Being an Alcoholic and Really Liking to Drink:
https://www.self.com/story/alcoholic-or-just-really-like-to-drink
•To the Mom questioning her drinking habits:
http://www.scarymommy.com/questioning-drinking-habits/
•Guided Meditations:
http://marc.ucla.edu/mindful-meditations
ALTERNATIVE DRINKS:
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Overnight Cold Brew Iced Tea:
https://www.splendidtable.org/story/you-can-cold-brew-iced-tea-while-you-sleep
•Mocktail Recipes:
https://www.allrecipes.com/recipes/1822/drinks/mocktails/
https://www.foodandwine.com/cocktails-spirits/mocktails
https://www.townandcountrymag.com/leisure/drinks/how-to/g785/best-mocktail-recipes/
APPS:
▪▪▪▪
•Daybreak iOS link. A Deakin University study of hundreds of health apps found that Daybreak is one of only four that have proven effective and provide quality assistance.
•Dry Days by AlcoChange iOS is for those who want to cut down or cut out the booze throughout the year, while seeing the impact it has on your health and wallet.
•nomo - Sobriety Clocks iOS - In addition to an alcohol clock and monetary savings this app lets you check in and do a sobriety exercise if you're tempted and connect with accountability partners.
•Sobriety Counter - Stop Drinking (Sobriety Counter - EasyQuit pro version) Android- Provides health stats, money saved, games to distract you, motivational tips, and several other features
BOOKS:
▪▪▪▪
•Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol
by Holly Whitaker
•The Naked Mind by Annie Grace
•Alcohol Lied to Me by Craig Beck
•Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey
•The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray
•The Liars Club, Cherry, and Lit by Mary Karr (3 different publications)
•Kick the Drink...Easily by Jason Vale
•Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp
•Being Sober: A Step-by-Step Guide to Getting To, Getting Through, and Living in Recovery by Harry Haroutunian
•The Easy, Illustrated Way to Quit Drinking by Alan Carr
•Alcohol Explained by William Porter
Credit and thanks to the MFP Less Alcohol One Day at a Time participants
For their willingness to share their insights and resourcefulness in finding this information
~Established 2017~
1
Replies
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Summer days are right around the corner and May is going to be my makeover month! Can’t wait!
7 -
Oh hell ya I'm in...
7 -
I’m in too!5
-
Present and accounted for May! Please God let May be better!4
-
I'm in for LA. I guess I'm not ready for abstinence just yet. I will stay on my April trend of not drinking at home, though.8
-
I am here to cut back, not cut out as I do enjoy good wines from CA where I live.
Since January, my monthly LA stats have been well below my general target of 20 AF days a month or a max of 5-7 glasses of wine per week. This is where I feel my best and am within my own personal guidelines and limits for success. Working towards restoration in May! ♥️7 -
Thank you for the kind words about my dog. However I was ambushed at my door by my daughter and grandchildren and then my husband who "changed my mind...look how perky she is!" This was 20 minutes before her appointment.
They made me feel like the Grim Reaper. Apparently they prefer her to suffer. I took her to the vet and vented to her. She said, " she had a good day. She perked up when she saw your daughter. How are the rest of her days? Wouldn't your husband want her last day to be a good day instead of a bad day?" I had no answer for her as I agreed with her. Nevertheless, she gave her a pain shot and I took her home.
The next time I am not telling anyone, nor giving them the chance to say goodbye. I cannot tell you the roller coaster of emotion I went through yesterday. I felt completely thrown under the bus by my husband and daughter.
Thank you, Miss May for keeping this vital thread going. I plan on remaining totally AF as my liver enzymes were high last blood test and the Dr told me no more drinking. Not moderation; none.10 -
SunnyDays930 wrote: »Thank you for the kind words about my dog. However I was ambushed at my door by my daughter and grandchildren and then my husband who "changed my mind...look how perky she is!" This was 20 minutes before her appointment.
They made me feel like the Grim Reaper. Apparently they prefer her to suffer. I took her to the vet and vented to her. She said, " she had a good day. She perked up when she saw your daughter. How are the rest of her days? Wouldn't your husband want her last day to be a good day instead of a bad day?" I had no answer for her as I agreed with her. Nevertheless, she gave her a pain shot and I took her home.
The next time I am not telling anyone, nor giving them the chance to say goodbye. I cannot tell you the roller coaster of emotion I went through yesterday. I felt completely thrown under the bus by my husband and daughter.
Thank you, Miss May for keeping this vital thread going. I plan on remaining totally AF as my liver enzymes were high last blood test and the Dr told me no more drinking. Not moderation; none.
Oh man, sorry to hear you and your doggo went through that. Hopefully the main meds helped.
Also hope the elevated liver enzymes come down! Hugs to you!2 -
Two drinks last night, only because I didn’t care for the cocktail I ordered at the restaurant we went to. I didn’t finish it.
Today I’m traveling with my husband - he has an interview and we’re also going to check out the area to see if it’s someplace we’d like to live. Wish us luck!5 -
SunnyDays930 wrote: »Thank you for the kind words about my dog. However I was ambushed at my door by my daughter and grandchildren and then my husband who "changed my mind...look how perky she is!" This was 20 minutes before her appointment.
They made me feel like the Grim Reaper. Apparently they prefer her to suffer. I took her to the vet and vented to her. She said, " she had a good day. She perked up when she saw your daughter. How are the rest of her days? Wouldn't your husband want her last day to be a good day instead of a bad day?" I had no answer for her as I agreed with her. Nevertheless, she gave her a pain shot and I took her home.
The next time I am not telling anyone, nor giving them the chance to say goodbye. I cannot tell you the roller coaster of emotion I went through yesterday. I felt completely thrown under the bus by my husband and daughter.
Thank you, Miss May for keeping this vital thread going. I plan on remaining totally AF as my liver enzymes were high last blood test and the Dr told me no more drinking. Not moderation; none.
So sorry you experienced all that emotion in one day and many days before. Sending you a big hug!
1 -
@SunnyDays930 I'm so sorry they put you through that. That must be so hard.4
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@SunnyDays930 I read you would be letting your beloved dog go and then this happened! You will know the right time and do it your own way. I have to say I do love what the vet said about her having a good day vs. bad. My DIL and son had to let their 15 yr. old go recently and that is also what they told me…..”she had a really good day mom and was ready.”
You are inspiring as you continue to take care of yourself without alcohol.
@Womona enjoy the trip with DH and good luck with exploring the area!5 -
Wishing everybody an amazing May and that you all will reach your goals.
So sorry to hear about the puppy.
My May challenge is to log all my food and keep it between 1200 and 1500 calories.
I made it through April with no alcohol or N/A beer. 92 days alcohol free.
I will continue to work out with weights 3 days a week and do cardio of sort 5 days a week. I've been doing a lot of gardening, but not really counting that as anything, just as a bonus.8 -
SunnyDays930 wrote: »Thank you for the kind words about my dog. However I was ambushed at my door by my daughter and grandchildren and then my husband who "changed my mind...look how perky she is!" This was 20 minutes before her appointment.
They made me feel like the Grim Reaper. Apparently they prefer her to suffer. I took her to the vet and vented to her. She said, " she had a good day. She perked up when she saw your daughter. How are the rest of her days? Wouldn't your husband want her last day to be a good day instead of a bad day?" I had no answer for her as I agreed with her. Nevertheless, she gave her a pain shot and I took her home.
The next time I am not telling anyone, nor giving them the chance to say goodbye. I cannot tell you the roller coaster of emotion I went through yesterday. I felt completely thrown under the bus by my husband and daughter.
Thank you, Miss May for keeping this vital thread going. I plan on remaining totally AF as my liver enzymes were high last blood test and the Dr told me no more drinking. Not moderation; none.
I can totally relate.
I had to put my 7yr old Black lab female down on Jan 30th 2021 due to stomach cancer. She suffered needlessly for weeks because of multiple vet misdiagnoses. I swear they were stringing us along for a few weeks to make more $ on medication she didn't need.
On her last night with me she stayed by my side all night and I could see she was in pain by the way she looked at me in the morning. Her tumor had grown to the size of a football and a new vet diagnosed her cancer within minutes. I knew it was time to end her suffering. I am still emotional about it to this day. I have a new chocolate lab in my life, and she is an amazing dog, and she has helped me get through my grieving.
I wish you the best with your puppy.7 -
1 - A - went for the 3rd glass tonight oops6
-
AF = 1
A = 0
Starting May out positive!
1) MIL is now in a MUCH better facility! This place is amazing! The staff is attentive and seem very happy to be there and helping their patients. I pray MIL sleeps well tonight now that her anxiety has subsided from the other facility.
2) I made a plan to deep clean my house this week, and I’m on target. I just need to pull out the fridge and oven to clean under them. Tomorrow is reserved for my daughter’s unbelievably large amount of laundry, but Friday is bathroom scrubbing day.
3) I am still waiting for a start date for the new job, but I am trying to determine the best way forward for my weight-loss goals. Based on what I know of the position and depending on the time zones of the clients I serve, I should be able to complete at least an hour and a half workout of cardio and weight training after my kids leave for school and before I need to start working. It’s a telework job, so I can always take a break for a shower later.6 -
Great news, Nonnie!! What a relief for you and your family!
AF = 1
A = 0
5 -
@NonnieDoiron You were definitely in need of some good news. Glad to hear things are going better.
AF 92 days (Feb. 4)
Challenge: log food and be between 1200-1500 calories = 1 (My number will be a day behind since I typically don't comment in the evenings.
I'm also hoping to lose 8 lbs. by May 31. Will update that every Friday.7 -
I'm in for May! Just realized a day late that April flew away. Here's to a successful new month for all of us!
Goals:
1-keep my house as a no-drinking zone; wine purchases just not allowed; keep tart juices on hand in case
2-exercise daily (still not medically cleared medically for running or weights so bummed it's driving me nuts but swimming and walking instead)
3-track calories daily
4-REWARD myself if I "did it right" that week with a weekly purchase
Looking back all these years, it was the months where I rewarded myself consistently that were most successful staying AF. Whether the reward was weight loss or beauty products or new shoes, my brain needed to fill in that deprivation of no wine with a reward of sorts to stay motivated. If I skip this strategy, then I backslide. Exercise was also important in keeping my mood optimistic and goal-focused.
8 -
@SunnyDays930 sending you big hugs and strength! You also inspire me with the way you are remaining committed to self-care during this time. I had to put my very ill 15 y.o. lab mix down a few years ago and I handled it on behalf of the family. They thanked me for handling it but I carried a heavier share of the grief load or so it felt. I haven't gotten a new puppy yet, but maybe it's time and that is what I need to "move on".
4 -
SunnyDays930 wrote: »Thank you for the kind words about my dog. However I was ambushed at my door by my daughter and grandchildren and then my husband who "changed my mind...look how perky she is!" This was 20 minutes before her appointment.
They made me feel like the Grim Reaper. Apparently they prefer her to suffer. I took her to the vet and vented to her. She said, " she had a good day. She perked up when she saw your daughter. How are the rest of her days? Wouldn't your husband want her last day to be a good day instead of a bad day?" I had no answer for her as I agreed with her. Nevertheless, she gave her a pain shot and I took her home.
The next time I am not telling anyone, nor giving them the chance to say goodbye. I cannot tell you the roller coaster of emotion I went through yesterday. I felt completely thrown under the bus by my husband and daughter.
Thank you, Miss May for keeping this vital thread going. I plan on remaining totally AF as my liver enzymes were high last blood test and the Dr told me no more drinking. Not moderation; none.
My heart is aching for you - it's so incredibly difficult to make this decision and then to have family change must be agonizing. I think you have the right idea to just go it alone when you decide the next time is right.
I hope your enzymes start to drop with all the work you're putting into your AF lifestyle.4 -
@Womona Good luck to you husband for the interview, and have fun checking out the area.
@NonnieDoiron so happy to hear your MIL is in a better place, it sounds like your off to great start for this month!
May:
AF: 1
A: 0
Last month I wanted 50% AF - I almost made it with 16A and 14AF, so it was about 47%.
This month I'm shooting for 60% which means I need about 18-19 days AF out of the 31.
I was pretty successful with my extra challenge of no after-dinner snacking last month, so I think I'll try a new one this month. I really need to get back into a regular exercise routine, so I think my challenge for this month will be to do some type of exercise every day. Even if it's only 10-15 minutes of yoga or walking as opposed to a pre scheduled gym session, it's still movement, so I'm going to be kind to myself and count even those small bits.5 -
Back for May!
Goals for May
Mostly Dry (no more than 4 days (ie: 1 day per weekend)
Exceptions & Stats5/5 ~ Cinco De Mayo ~ My husband already has margarita's planned.
5/26 ~ Birthday party at a baseball game.
Month Stats
Current Streak - AF = 1
Longest Streak 2024 - AF = 16
A = 0
AF = 1
My goal is to cut back to get weight under control ultimately and where I want it to be. Then conquer maintenance but NOT resume to daily drinking.
I am wishing everyone great success on their personal goals in May!! You got this!
@Michieb125 ~ I hear you on the good wines. Where do you live. I use to live in CA between SF and SAC and often visited the wine country in Napa and Sonoma. Gosh, I might even be due back for a visit🙂
@Sunnydays930 ~ oh, was a dilemma. Wow, I'm really surprised at the vet's response. I wish you the best in this situation. It's hard enough without support.
@Womona ~ Good luck on your search!
@NonnieDoiron ~ Glad your MIL is doing well in the new facility. That has to be a relief for you both. Congrats on the new job!
6 -
@SunnyDays930 I think I was like your family with my rottie that had to be put down. I just couldn’t do it. My husband had to do it. Then, he came home and cried like a baby. With our cocker/lab mix, we both went after she collapsed in the yard. That poor sweet thing was ready to go. She had already beaten cancer, but she was just really old. We both cried! I’ll keep praying for your strength and courage.
@globalhiker I agree with your reward philosophy. I need to find “the thing” for my reward that won’t make my husband lock up his wallet! 🤣🤣🤣5 -
1 - A
1 - LA3 -
AF = 2
A = 0
No wine in the house.
I made some egg muffins today that turned out amazing! I had 1, my son with autism had one and said it tasted like pizza, and hubby had 4 and said I could make more. 🤣🤣 The best part… only 154 calories per muffin!
9 -
Here we go makeover May! Lots to look forward to. Took a walk with DIL last night and then again today with DH.
AF - 1
A - 1
LA - 05 -
How DARE you @NonnieDoiron give us such photos of those tempting muffins...without a recipie ?? Possibly spinach/Mozzarella/ sun dried tomato ??
Please please please ?? 👩🍳
Your MIL's transfer to a new facility must give you-her-the rest of her family such comfort. Please keep on being her advocate as she navigates her new reality.
And don't forget to advocate for YOURSELF as you try to go forward on your "Less Alcohol" journey.
"No wine in the house "...Great choice. I just got a shipment today of @ 30 bottles of wine. Should carry me through til well into the next year with my current record of abstinence for long periods, then a bottle a night for a few days .
🤦 Guess which habit I should ditch ??
7 -
@SunnyDays930 ...when Middle Daughter's longtime Feline companion passed away, she actually took a stuffed replica along on a family cruise to Bermuda. She had for more than a year denied the inevitable and pursued fruitless remedies and cures that only extended the poor critter's suffering [in my unappreciated opinion ]. Since then she has befriended several of our 'hoods feral kitty population. When one of them had an incurable issue, she let her go with love. She finally understood that sometimes the natural order of things is not something people can control.
Your Vet was so very kind. Saying goodbye is so difficult. When your pup does pass away, sending you warm hugs.5 -
globalhiker wrote: »@SunnyDays930 sending you big hugs and strength! You also inspire me with the way you are remaining committed to self-care during this time. I had to put my very ill 15 y.o. lab mix down a few years ago and I handled it on behalf of the family. They thanked me for handling it but I carried a heavier share of the grief load or so it felt. I haven't gotten a new puppy yet, but maybe it's time and that is what I need to "move on".
Commiserating with all of you that had to make that decision. I had to put my 6 year old English Bulldog down almost 2 years ago now. I also handled all the details and suffered most of the grief, but it was well earned because I was her person. I swore I'd never have another dog because I didn't want to go through that again. Fast forward a couple of months and the house just felt so empty. On a wine whim one night I filled out an application to rescue an English Bulldog from the Florida rescue group. Long story short, a month later we rescued a 5 year old girl, Princess, who had been used for puppies and discarded when she was used up. She's my girl and I am her person and it was the best "wine" decision I ever made...lol.
We're going to dinner with friends tonight and instead of fooling myself into thinking I'm not going to drink, I'm planning to have a glass or two with a side of club soda to stretch it out.
Still have not had a drink at home since March 29. I almost caved last night for no reason other than my SO was going out and I used to just sit and drink a bottle of wine and binge my shows while he was gone. I still did that...just with sparkling water.
Happy Friday, everyone!
AF = 2
A = 07
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