Any idea how I can make my husbnd healthy? LMAO!

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siabevis
siabevis Posts: 811
in Health and Weight Loss
Lets seem my hubs only drinks soda, eat chips, cookies, fast foods, you name it. If its bad, he will eat it lol. I am starting to worry about the future of his health and would like to see him adopt some healthier ways.. Thinking hopefully I can set a good example. I cook for him and therefore was thinking about tweaking his dinners and making them a tad bit healthier. Thoughts? :)
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  • XDoodlebugger
    XDoodlebugger Posts: 54 Member
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    Don't worry about it until he starts to look like he eats that stuff. Healthier for your marriage.
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,453 Member
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    If you're doing the cokoing there's nothing stopping you from making his meals healthier. You don't even have to mention it to him because then he might get all rebellious about it. I know that when I want my husband to have a healthy snack (if we're not around a mealtime), I'm better off just putting it in front of him and he'll eat. If I ask him whether he wants it, the answer is NO but if I just put it in front of him, it's eaten!
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
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    You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. It's not your responsibilty to make him healthy. You're not his mama :)
  • QueenCat25
    QueenCat25 Posts: 130
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    You just gotta make changes for yourself and hope it influences him eventually. You can try talking to him about your concern although I've done that several times before with my husband and his response was, "Wanna go to McDonalds?"
  • tuneses
    tuneses Posts: 467 Member
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    I havent pushed my husband at all because it has the opposite effect on him. I've found that by just eating healthy myself and the kids, loosing weight and just feeling good he is now starting to want to do the same. He's slowly cut out soda, takes an apple to work etc. I think leading by example is the best way because you cant make them change but you can make them want to. Good Luck :)
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,453 Member
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    You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. It's not your responsibilty to make him healthy. You're not his mama :)

    This disturbs me a bit - in a marriage it's our responsibility to look out for the welfare of our spouses (on both sides), in a sensitive and caring way of course.
  • SZewski
    SZewski Posts: 14 Member
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    My husband sounds similar so I don't bring the junk into the house. If it's not there, he won't eat it unless he makes the special trip to the store to get it (which he does sometimes). I keep some lo-fat ice cream in the freezer to satisfy his sweet tooth after dinner. If he doesn't like the healthy meal I cook at least he won't tell me as to not to hurt my feelings. I can't control what he does for lunch, but he's a big boy and I like to think my healthy habits are starting to rub off on him.
  • maysflower
    maysflower Posts: 180
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    I am responsible for making dinner and since I am trying to be healthier I cook what I want and leave it up to him to eat it or not. Since he doesn't want to make me upset he usually tries it and 90% of the time he likes it. Now I can't control what he does outside of the house, but I have learned from my own experience that until HE is ready to make the change you won't be able to force him.

    Suggest alternatives for some of the foods he really likes. Maybe giving him some choices he didn't know existed may help.

    Good luck!
  • plantgrrl
    plantgrrl Posts: 436 Member
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    Mine too. Remember, they have to reach the point that they want it, if they don't want it, then we are just nagging them. He says he wants to, goes to the gym with me a few times and then goes and eats 1/2 pint of ben and jerry's ice cream. He joined here, but alls he does is log his weights, thinks tracking won't work for him...*sigh* His choice, I can't make him do it. I've talked to him about it, but he doesn't want it bad enough yet.

    That being said, my husband knows that if I'm making dinner, and there's rice, it's gonna be brown rice. He doesn't like it, he can make his own (he never goes out of the way to make his own rice). So yeah, tweak his food a little, slip in some veggies, start serving salads with dinner (before the main dish hits the table) tell him you want dinner to feel more special, like you're on a date at a restaurant, or something, if he ask why you're doing it. Choose smaller meat portions that take up 1/3 the plate and serve with two cooked veggie sides or one extra large veggie side(I like stir-fried green beans). When you grill, replace his potato chip portion of the plate with some roasted red potatoes, grilled asparagus or and ear of corn. He may notice the difference, but with the right recipe he might not mind. ;)

    Good luck! Let us know how it goes.
  • jilliebk
    jilliebk Posts: 252 Member
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    Same thing for me, I let him be, and I hope and pray monkey see monkey do! lol.... After a while when he started noticing guys was coming up to me, more he got a little frustrated now he is working out but not how he should at least he is doing something. give him time.
  • Dandersonjr32
    Dandersonjr32 Posts: 73
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    You can't push someone into healthier habits without the use of abject humiliation, which is probably better left for his friends to do than his spouse. It's difficult to have these conversations between husband and wife.

    To a much greater extreme, I tried to have a conversation like this with my ex-wife once. Read, ex-wife. She was REALLY letting herself go, and was tipping the scales around two-thirty when I finally decided to speak up. Now, I was no Adonis, but her physical condition was really affecting the marriage. I tried to couch it as gently as I could, citing health concerns and a want, on my part, to live a longer and healthier life with her. I knew the jig was up when she blurted out, "So you think I'm fat."

    In retrospect, I should have said, "There's no thinking about it," but I digress.

    To this day she doesn't take care of herself. She's gotten bigger and unhealthier. So there's only so much you can do for other people.

    I say control the meals you can and try to live as an example. As unpopular a statement as this might be it's true but, wives trying to change their husbands... eh, not a great idea.
  • patrick77327
    patrick77327 Posts: 6
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    Keep up with cooking some healthier meals at home, but don't go overboard with too healthy or he'll probably not eat and get upset and just go out and get some fast food. I basically ate like crap for years and wasn't a problem until I quit working out a few years ago and just started to pile on the weight and when I decided to get a physical after years of neglect, I found out my blood pressure was a bit high and my cholesterol was high. That and seeing what I was becoming made me change and I hope to keep it up. Sometimes it takes some hard evidence to get men to change our eating and exercise habits. I'd start with small steps at home with the healthier meals and maybe suggesting to him to get a physical if he hasn't for quite some time. It's hard though, but just don't get on his case too much or that could lead to problems.
  • crazy4jesus
    crazy4jesus Posts: 3
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    Well, from experience DON'T NAG!!! That being said. It took a trip to the doctors for my husband to finally get on board with the changes that I had made in my life. ( He does nothing 1/2 way) So it was like a mini tornado went through the pantry and fridge and took out only the processed, sugary, high fat foods. That was at the end of May he is now down 55 lbs. He's lost in four months what it took me a year to do!! (little jealous) SO VERY PROUD OF HIM!!
    It's been a total lifestyle change for us!
    I would say, Keep doing what your doing and eventually hopefully he'll see how amazing you look and feel. And want to join with you on this new healthier lifestyle
  • 1goodymom67
    1goodymom67 Posts: 125
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    First off, you can't make your dh do anything. I have been married nearly 22 years boy do I know it!! LOL But seriously with that said I do the shopping here so I buy just about everything that ends up in our house. If I want to have vegetarian meal, guess what that is what is for dinner. I have stopped buy that junk, if he wants it he buys it. Tough love baby!! I also have changed our menu, he says if it didn't have feather my wife is not making it!! LOL This has been a process of about 3 years that I have done that. It didn't happen over night. My family has gotten used to it and they know that this is not just a phase mom is going though, this for the rest of my life!! As your palete changes his will too. :)
  • luv2ash
    luv2ash Posts: 1,903 Member
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    Don't worry about it until he starts to look like he eats that stuff. Healthier for your marriage.

    hmmmm......this is the problem with many people in that they think its okay to eat this stuff because it has not affected their health yet---IT WILL!!!!!!!!!!!! so why wait until then ?????? Good grief, just get rid of the junk in the home and stop buying it!!!!

    Married for 23 years
    do not tell him, nag him or suggest to him. Just don't buy the food and tell him, it was your decision.
  • Enforcer25
    Enforcer25 Posts: 350 Member
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    I like the idea of tweaking the meals to make them healthier, just be subtle about, actually, you know your husband better than us, so you will know what works best. Good luck, hopefully he will come around.
  • prettyfitchick
    prettyfitchick Posts: 502 Member
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    I cook healthy meals and He eats just about anything as long as you dont tell him its healthy foods he dosent know i quit using salt in our meals about a month ago
  • atsteele
    atsteele Posts: 1,359 Member
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    My husband is in good shape but he could also improve his eating habits. I have made recipes from Skinnytaste.com (Sicilian rice casserole, ziti, baked chicken, chicken parm, cookies, etc) that are lower in fat and just generally healthier and he loves it. He's a very picky eater too so for him to be asking when Im going to be making such-and-such recipe again, it's a big deal. Like everyone is saying, you can't make them change what our significant others decide to eat for themselves but you can continue to be a good example and provide good food choices.

    I also refuse to nag him about his poor choices. I think that it's counterproductive. But when he comes home from the grocery store with two giant bags of cheddar flavor rice chips and tells me how much healthier they are compared to other snacks, I call him to the carpet. But I dont do it every time I see him eating those salt-laden nutrition-devoid pieces of cardboard. I just hand him his blood pressure monitor and tell him, Good luck, buddy! Because Im subtle like that. (just kidding)
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    You can't push someone into healthier habits without the use of abject humiliation, which is probably better left for his friends to do than his spouse. It's difficult to have these conversations between husband and wife.

    To a much greater extreme, I tried to have a conversation like this with my ex-wife once. Read, ex-wife. She was REALLY letting herself go, and was tipping the scales around two-thirty when I finally decided to speak up. Now, I was no Adonis, but her physical condition was really affecting the marriage. I tried to couch it as gently as I could, citing health concerns and a want, on my part, to live a longer and healthier life with her. I knew the jig was up when she blurted out, "So you think I'm fat."

    In retrospect, I should have said, "There's no thinking about it," but I digress.

    To this day she doesn't take care of herself. She's gotten bigger and unhealthier. So there's only so much you can do for other people.

    I say control the meals you can and try to live as an example. As unpopular a statement as this might be it's true but, wives trying to change their husbands... eh, not a great idea.

    This!
  • siabevis
    siabevis Posts: 811
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    It is affecting his health, hence why I am concerned. He is not close to being overweight, he is actually skinny.. but just because you are skinyn does not mean you are healthy. A skinny person can have a heart attack from all that fat just as fast as an obese person... Not to mention what 4 cans of soda per day can do to a persons insides: headaches, stomach lining deterioration, bowel bleeding, etc. THATS why Im concerned. I dont nag him, I simply tell him why he feels the way he does and hoping I can make a difference. Like it says in the bible, we are responsible for our spouse and SHOULD look after their wellbeing. Obviously I cannot and WILL NOT force him. I just want him to see the importance and that I want him to stick around for a long time without varioud health issues. Obviously some of you guys need to watch FOOD INC or Forks Over Knives to see what Im talking about :)

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