Im going through a terrible break up

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Meli_fitness
Meli_fitness Posts: 9
in Motivation and Support
We broke up after being together 3 years and this happened 2 months ago, and hes been stringing me along, I just found out he is with someone else... how did you find the courage to continue working out with your heart ripped out? tell me your personal experiences? knowing im not the only one who has been thru this will definatelly help me feel better :(
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  • sc1572
    sc1572 Posts: 2,309 Member
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    I'm SO sorry! :( I haven't gone through a bad break up, but when I had family struggles this summer, I used it as my motivation to workout, and used that time to block it all out. Feel better!!!
  • PennyNickel14
    PennyNickel14 Posts: 749 Member
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    Oh you are not alone.

    It is so painful and I am so so SORRY that you are going through this right now.
  • sjtreely
    sjtreely Posts: 1,014 Member
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    You remind yourself to breathe and you take it one part of the day at a time. Get through the morning, then the afternoon, then the evening. When you've got that under control, take it a half a day at a time until you can make it through by taking it one day at a time.
  • GouchisGirl
    GouchisGirl Posts: 321 Member
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    It is really hard to work out when you are upset, but if you can channel your emotions that you feel toward him into your workout you will be able to really push through. I'm sorry that this is happening to you, it makes life very difficult, but don't let him control your life... that is what he wants. Show him that you are moving on and become the hottest you that you can. :) (Feel free to add me or message me if you need to chat)
  • tomasart
    tomasart Posts: 306 Member
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    I pray that you will hang in there, till you are strong again. Happy times will return.
    just hNG IN THERE. wE ARE HERE FOR yOU dEAR.
    tOMtOM
  • Loko_Ino
    Loko_Ino Posts: 544 Member
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    Truthfully what else you gonna do?
    Pine over a guy who has moved on or continue your life and make it better than it was before.
    Get in the gym..work it out, make yourself sweat, push hard..and forget for a few hours.
  • sagetracey
    sagetracey Posts: 607 Member
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    Show him how much he has lost out by continuing on to become the best that you can be. You don't need him to define you and you don't need to give him any power over how you feel about yourself. You are worth it and you will come out of this really tough time a stronger, happier and healthier person.

    Hugs!
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    Break ups hurt, the trick is to remember that we define ourselves, other people only define you if you allow them to. This is the perfect opportunity to focus on yourself.
  • hadl0032
    hadl0032 Posts: 117
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    I'm sorry to hear that. =( I have not been thru a break-up recently(I have been through several of them b4 though), I just think MEN suck in general! haha...some of them are such fu*king pricks.

    Anywho- move on! Exercise is the best natural mood booster you can give to yourself. You may feel like not getting out of bed or eating or going to work, probably all of them....but trust me...force yourself to workout. You dont have to do it for hours....just break a sweat everyday. You will be doing yourself a favor!!! Your mood will be much more positive, and your self-confidence will begin to turn in the right direction!

    Everytime I have gone thru a break-up, all I wanted to do was go out and drink copious amounts of wine and beer.....well, it doesnt help. You need time for yourself. Exercise, sweat, cry if you need to, but take time for yourself, and reflect on what went wrong and learn from it and move on!!!!!!

    best of luck! Stay positive! =)
  • IndependentMe
    IndependentMe Posts: 182 Member
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    So sorry to hear. Use that anxiety and turn it to energy, you will be better off emotionally and physically. Hang in there!
  • QueenCat25
    QueenCat25 Posts: 130
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    I've been through this before. The break up lead me into the darkest hole I've ever been in my entire life. What helped me crawl out was when I realized that I need to make ME happy. I started doing things I always wanted to do. I went to the gym and transferred the pain into progress. Also, the thought of him seeing me as slim and hot then kicking himself was a great motivator. =) I wish you the best. This is hard, but in time you'll see that it was a blessing in disguise.
  • idahogirl71
    idahogirl71 Posts: 1,110 Member
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    There is NO easy way to get through it!! My husband left me in July for another woman and I went through all the motions....anger, depression, tears, using my anger to work out more, and then I fell. I gained back 16 of the pounds I worked so hard to lose over the previous 6 months. Then the day came ( 2 wks ago) that I said enough is enough, I was losing this weight for me and he is NOT going to win. I got back on my program and have taken off the 16 plus and additional 2 since starting over. Then today he signed the papers for the divorce and all the emotions have come back. The difference is I am not falling again...emotionally falling apart yes, but not falling off my program.

    You deserve this for yourself!! Don't let someone leaving you take that away from you. Fight every day for your life and don't give up!!
  • LillyMosley
    LillyMosley Posts: 166
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    I went through a terrible break up years ago, and I wish the today me could talk to that person, if that makes sense. The trouble is you don't know what cool things are going to happen in your future and you are mourning sad things that have just happened. Perfectly understandable. But tell yourself there IS going to be fun and excitement in my life again, the sun will shine again, and when that happens don't you want me be the hottest you can be? Right now you are in period of your life of working towards good things, so work hard! The best revenge is him seeing you look amazing. And believe me you wont want him back then. You will find someone to treat you right, not to string you along while looking for someone else. You can't trust this person so it could never be long term with them. The right person is out there for you, how exciting, enjoy looking!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,679 Member
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    We broke up after being together 3 years and this happened 2 months ago, and hes been stringing me along, I just found out he is with someone else... how did you find the courage to continue working out with your heart ripped out? tell me your personal experiences? knowing im not the only one who has been thru this will definatelly help me feel better :(
    It will hurt, but think of it this way................if you were together do you think he'd be happy? And if not, then it sets you up for another downfall.
    I lived with someone for 3 years and after breaking up, within 8 months time I was back out and dating. Time heals wounds and experience makes you better. Cheer up, could be worse.....................people with terminal diseases, living in 3rd world conditions, etc. would be excited to just exchange places with you.
  • shellybarbal
    shellybarbal Posts: 42
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    Working out will lift your spirits and make you feel better about yourself. Plus, when you are ready to move on, you will look and feel your best and that will make you that much more attractive to potential mates. I threw myself into working out and eating well when I went through a major breakup and I met my husband two months later. I'm sorry you are going through this. Chin up :-)

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  • MrsCon40
    MrsCon40 Posts: 2,351 Member
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    Looking hot is the best revenge. Now go get hot and make him suffer.
  • LaPistolaSexola
    LaPistolaSexola Posts: 243 Member
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    for me, working out and sweating makes me *feel* when i'm otherwise trying to numb myself out.
    when on a break from my bf, i would go to zumba and dance my heart out....and sometimes cry whilst doing it. i probably looked like a freak, but damn it felt good.

    i'm so sorry for the pain you're feeling.
  • SoFLYFireman
    SoFLYFireman Posts: 170 Member
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    Honestly, I work(ed) out 10x harder when I was going through something rough. The night me and my ex broke up I ran 2 miles longer than normal, just put in some music and go at it, it helps relieve stress and keeps your mind off of it
  • JenUB
    JenUB Posts: 84
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    So sorry to hear you're in pain. It always helped me to think of how smokin' hot I would be the next time I saw him, how guys would be swarming to me, and how he'd regret it forever. (Hint: most men try to come crawling back at some time. By that time hopefully you'll be stronger physically, stronger mentally and emotionally, and you'll kick him to the curb because you'll have better prospects.) Hang in there, sweetie.
  • bmqbonnie
    bmqbonnie Posts: 836 Member
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    I just got dumped by my fiance whom I was with for five years. We were supposed to get married in June, canceled that, officially broke up about a month ago.

    It's actually been great for weight loss, lol. I was struggling and once we broke up 10 lbs just flew off. I NEED to work out to relieve the stress, and time that normally would have been occupied by him is now time I have to work out. Plus while I was a frequent emotional eater when dealing with stress from our relationship, for some reason I don't feel that urge from the stess of our breakup so my eating has been much healthier. On top of all that, I'm more motivated because a) I want him to regret it and b) I'm back on the market.

    So, weight wise the breakup has been great. I hope you find that silver lining as well. Appreciate what working out can do for you, both physically and mentally, and cling to it.

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