Im going through a terrible break up

Meli_fitness
Meli_fitness Posts: 9
We broke up after being together 3 years and this happened 2 months ago, and hes been stringing me along, I just found out he is with someone else... how did you find the courage to continue working out with your heart ripped out? tell me your personal experiences? knowing im not the only one who has been thru this will definatelly help me feel better :(
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Replies

  • sc1572
    sc1572 Posts: 2,309 Member
    I'm SO sorry! :( I haven't gone through a bad break up, but when I had family struggles this summer, I used it as my motivation to workout, and used that time to block it all out. Feel better!!!
  • PennyNickel14
    PennyNickel14 Posts: 749 Member
    Oh you are not alone.

    It is so painful and I am so so SORRY that you are going through this right now.
  • sjtreely
    sjtreely Posts: 1,014 Member
    You remind yourself to breathe and you take it one part of the day at a time. Get through the morning, then the afternoon, then the evening. When you've got that under control, take it a half a day at a time until you can make it through by taking it one day at a time.
  • GouchisGirl
    GouchisGirl Posts: 321 Member
    It is really hard to work out when you are upset, but if you can channel your emotions that you feel toward him into your workout you will be able to really push through. I'm sorry that this is happening to you, it makes life very difficult, but don't let him control your life... that is what he wants. Show him that you are moving on and become the hottest you that you can. :) (Feel free to add me or message me if you need to chat)
  • tomasart
    tomasart Posts: 306 Member
    I pray that you will hang in there, till you are strong again. Happy times will return.
    just hNG IN THERE. wE ARE HERE FOR yOU dEAR.
    tOMtOM
  • Loko_Ino
    Loko_Ino Posts: 544 Member
    Truthfully what else you gonna do?
    Pine over a guy who has moved on or continue your life and make it better than it was before.
    Get in the gym..work it out, make yourself sweat, push hard..and forget for a few hours.
  • sagetracey
    sagetracey Posts: 607 Member
    Show him how much he has lost out by continuing on to become the best that you can be. You don't need him to define you and you don't need to give him any power over how you feel about yourself. You are worth it and you will come out of this really tough time a stronger, happier and healthier person.

    Hugs!
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    Break ups hurt, the trick is to remember that we define ourselves, other people only define you if you allow them to. This is the perfect opportunity to focus on yourself.
  • I'm sorry to hear that. =( I have not been thru a break-up recently(I have been through several of them b4 though), I just think MEN suck in general! haha...some of them are such fu*king pricks.

    Anywho- move on! Exercise is the best natural mood booster you can give to yourself. You may feel like not getting out of bed or eating or going to work, probably all of them....but trust me...force yourself to workout. You dont have to do it for hours....just break a sweat everyday. You will be doing yourself a favor!!! Your mood will be much more positive, and your self-confidence will begin to turn in the right direction!

    Everytime I have gone thru a break-up, all I wanted to do was go out and drink copious amounts of wine and beer.....well, it doesnt help. You need time for yourself. Exercise, sweat, cry if you need to, but take time for yourself, and reflect on what went wrong and learn from it and move on!!!!!!

    best of luck! Stay positive! =)
  • IndependentMe
    IndependentMe Posts: 182 Member
    So sorry to hear. Use that anxiety and turn it to energy, you will be better off emotionally and physically. Hang in there!
  • I've been through this before. The break up lead me into the darkest hole I've ever been in my entire life. What helped me crawl out was when I realized that I need to make ME happy. I started doing things I always wanted to do. I went to the gym and transferred the pain into progress. Also, the thought of him seeing me as slim and hot then kicking himself was a great motivator. =) I wish you the best. This is hard, but in time you'll see that it was a blessing in disguise.
  • idahogirl71
    idahogirl71 Posts: 1,110 Member
    There is NO easy way to get through it!! My husband left me in July for another woman and I went through all the motions....anger, depression, tears, using my anger to work out more, and then I fell. I gained back 16 of the pounds I worked so hard to lose over the previous 6 months. Then the day came ( 2 wks ago) that I said enough is enough, I was losing this weight for me and he is NOT going to win. I got back on my program and have taken off the 16 plus and additional 2 since starting over. Then today he signed the papers for the divorce and all the emotions have come back. The difference is I am not falling again...emotionally falling apart yes, but not falling off my program.

    You deserve this for yourself!! Don't let someone leaving you take that away from you. Fight every day for your life and don't give up!!
  • I went through a terrible break up years ago, and I wish the today me could talk to that person, if that makes sense. The trouble is you don't know what cool things are going to happen in your future and you are mourning sad things that have just happened. Perfectly understandable. But tell yourself there IS going to be fun and excitement in my life again, the sun will shine again, and when that happens don't you want me be the hottest you can be? Right now you are in period of your life of working towards good things, so work hard! The best revenge is him seeing you look amazing. And believe me you wont want him back then. You will find someone to treat you right, not to string you along while looking for someone else. You can't trust this person so it could never be long term with them. The right person is out there for you, how exciting, enjoy looking!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,024 Member
    We broke up after being together 3 years and this happened 2 months ago, and hes been stringing me along, I just found out he is with someone else... how did you find the courage to continue working out with your heart ripped out? tell me your personal experiences? knowing im not the only one who has been thru this will definatelly help me feel better :(
    It will hurt, but think of it this way................if you were together do you think he'd be happy? And if not, then it sets you up for another downfall.
    I lived with someone for 3 years and after breaking up, within 8 months time I was back out and dating. Time heals wounds and experience makes you better. Cheer up, could be worse.....................people with terminal diseases, living in 3rd world conditions, etc. would be excited to just exchange places with you.
  • Working out will lift your spirits and make you feel better about yourself. Plus, when you are ready to move on, you will look and feel your best and that will make you that much more attractive to potential mates. I threw myself into working out and eating well when I went through a major breakup and I met my husband two months later. I'm sorry you are going through this. Chin up :-)

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  • MrsCon40
    MrsCon40 Posts: 2,351 Member
    Looking hot is the best revenge. Now go get hot and make him suffer.
  • LaPistolaSexola
    LaPistolaSexola Posts: 243 Member
    for me, working out and sweating makes me *feel* when i'm otherwise trying to numb myself out.
    when on a break from my bf, i would go to zumba and dance my heart out....and sometimes cry whilst doing it. i probably looked like a freak, but damn it felt good.

    i'm so sorry for the pain you're feeling.
  • SoFLYFireman
    SoFLYFireman Posts: 170 Member
    Honestly, I work(ed) out 10x harder when I was going through something rough. The night me and my ex broke up I ran 2 miles longer than normal, just put in some music and go at it, it helps relieve stress and keeps your mind off of it
  • JenUB
    JenUB Posts: 84
    So sorry to hear you're in pain. It always helped me to think of how smokin' hot I would be the next time I saw him, how guys would be swarming to me, and how he'd regret it forever. (Hint: most men try to come crawling back at some time. By that time hopefully you'll be stronger physically, stronger mentally and emotionally, and you'll kick him to the curb because you'll have better prospects.) Hang in there, sweetie.
  • bmqbonnie
    bmqbonnie Posts: 836 Member
    I just got dumped by my fiance whom I was with for five years. We were supposed to get married in June, canceled that, officially broke up about a month ago.

    It's actually been great for weight loss, lol. I was struggling and once we broke up 10 lbs just flew off. I NEED to work out to relieve the stress, and time that normally would have been occupied by him is now time I have to work out. Plus while I was a frequent emotional eater when dealing with stress from our relationship, for some reason I don't feel that urge from the stess of our breakup so my eating has been much healthier. On top of all that, I'm more motivated because a) I want him to regret it and b) I'm back on the market.

    So, weight wise the breakup has been great. I hope you find that silver lining as well. Appreciate what working out can do for you, both physically and mentally, and cling to it.
  • dkb228
    dkb228 Posts: 73 Member
    Use your hurt and anger as a motivator! That's what I did when my fiance (also the father of my daughter) and I split up in June. I realized that first and foremost, I needed to get healthy. Being in or out of a relationship doesn't change how important your health is. So go to the gym and sweat out all the negativity and know that it gets better. Good luck! :)
  • Dencrossgirl
    Dencrossgirl Posts: 501 Member
    Someone BETTER is out there, don't waste time on the man you think he is. Been there, done that, I cried for six months, my life fell apart, almost lost everything, I mean everything! So dumb, I was mourning the loss of who I thought he was and he was total LOSER. I married a hot guy and have the best life. But if I wouldn't have ever found anyone I still would have been way ahead alone. Take this time to improve yourself physically, spiritually, change things up, don't put pressure on yourself to find someone new. Live, love yourself, and laugh! Things will fall into place. Hope you have lots of friends to support you. That was one thing I didn't have and that made things hard.
  • SusanMcAvoy
    SusanMcAvoy Posts: 445 Member
    Show him how much he has lost out by continuing on to become the best that you can be. You don't need him to define you and you don't need to give him any power over how you feel about yourself. You are worth it and you will come out of this really tough time a stronger, happier and healthier person.

    Hugs!

    I agree 100%. Get yourself in shape and be the best you can be.
  • Thank you all so very much, this is hard.. this is really bad! but I have to work out, if I dont I will go crazy, everytime I work out I feel so much better about everything! I really appreciate all of you taking the time to give me support! I feel so much better! I will take yalls advice.. I will become a hottie :)
  • See it in a different way, you lost over a 100 lbs breaking up with him. A long time ago when I broke up with my boyfriend about 25 years ago because he was cheating. I started jogging crying the whole way. I eventually able to run marathons and how I met my husband of 23 years. Recently guess who found me? Yep, the ex. He wants me back. It was great feeling to tell him I am happily married to Mr. Right. All this said to say, cry your tears but continue to look to the future. Don't know what is around the corner but I bet it could be fun to find out.
  • learn from this past relationship so that if you see it in your future relationships you won't invest months and years into them. you'll thank him later for teaching you what to look for. my ex often tells my mom (he is still in contact with my family) how i was the sweetest girl he ever dated. i was devasted when we (he) broke up with me. it felt like my heart was actually aching (i promise to this day i remember having chest pains). i later i met my husband (29 years and counting) on the phone. i dialed the wrong number (just happened to be the RIGHT number for me) and we talked on the phone for 6months or longer before my mom (very strict mom) would even let him come over. we dated for about a year before he asked me to marry him. HE IS A GOD SENT, CHRISTIAN MAN. So different than what i had or even expected. A minister that loves God and loves wife and family (in that order and he never, never, never, never lets me forget it). But i tell my ex (whenever i'm at my mom's house and he just happens to call) or tell my mom to tell him , thanks for the lessons. i love you for what you taught me because you taught me what to look for. LEARN THE LESSON AND DON'T REPEAT IT.
  • NicRiv26
    NicRiv26 Posts: 20 Member
    From going thru something very smilar, this is what worked for me.

    My hurt turned into anger, which helped alot. I was being strung along as well. I got the feeling that he thought I could not do better. Which made me so angry. So I use that anger to better my self. I told myself that I can do better. Usethe to anger to work out harder. I used that anger to eat healthier. And you know what I lost the weight alright and I looked good. Went an bought a new wardrobe and started dating. I fun , also learned alot of thnings about myself. Like what man I really wanted in my life, I figured out he was a zero. I got my hero now!!!

    Good Luck!!!!!:flowerforyou:
  • cspence2270
    cspence2270 Posts: 229 Member
    First of all I'm sorry that you have to go through this. I don't know how old you are but from my experience everything happens for a reason. I am 41 years old and have been happily married for the last 5 1/2 years. We have a 2 1/2 year old son. So the reason that I'm answering you is, and I'll try not to be to wordy, is about 7 years ago I was dating a guy and I found out that while we were dating he was living with someone else. OK some history - we had dated for 5 years and lived together for 1 year when he decided to go back to school to be a police office, anyway after he finished school he got a job about 1 1/2 away and we dated long distance for about 1 year going back and forth on weekends or when ever we could. He was still saying " Are you going to marry me" the whole time. But if I said are you asking he'd say no. Hence the stringing me along. Durning our last conversation he asked me what it was I wanted and I said I want some one to come riding up on that white horse and save me. He said well that does not exist. I said oh yea it does. I had to believe it did. And I have to say it does. I had to wait and I also had to learn to live my life for me but I found it and so will you. He is out there. Don't give up

    Now for my advice on how to deal with this. Now is the time to look at yourself and your life and decide what YOU want. I wrote notebooks full after that breakup I wrote down everything I wanted to say to him but didn't, I never sent or showed those to anyone they were just full of my heartache and rants. I also wrote down everything that I wanted in a guy and I didn't settle until I found him. Not kidding, Ok so he doesn't have his ear pierced or ride a motorcycle, but everything else is there. After that was done and I finished crying daily for about 3 weeks- not kidding here either- I still remember when I finally smiled for the first time after that and it took 2 1/2 weeks. I stepped out of my old ways I took a pottery class, a knitting class and a photography class. I went for bike rides and walks and basically said this is MY LIFE and I will make it what I want. So find that place, do things for you and find out who you are. Keep working out, you weren't doing it for him were you? A good man is attracted to a women who can stand on her own. Good luck and remember a door doesn't close without a window opening, this happened for a reason and something or someone better is waiting for you.
  • LexieSweetheart
    LexieSweetheart Posts: 793 Member
    Breakups hurt like hell!! right now the pain is fresh and still hurts but over time you will heal. you will eventually learn to say **** that dude lol. Give yourself a weekend to let it all out and then focus on doing you.
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
    We broke up after being together 3 years and this happened 2 months ago, and hes been stringing me along, I just found out he is with someone else... how did you find the courage to continue working out with your heart ripped out? tell me your personal experiences? knowing im not the only one who has been thru this will definatelly help me feel better :(

    Get a punching bag. Put his picture on it. Go to town.
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