Dad jokes
 
            
                
                    JFinn26                
                
                    Posts: 708 Member                
            
                        
            
                    Give me your best dad jokes:
I’ll start:
A priest, minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar.
The bartender asks “whaddaya having today?”
The rabbit replied: “I dunno...I’m only here because of autocorrect”
But the bartender is on his game... The bartender guesses correctly the bishop wants a glass of water, no ice so he can bless it. The priest got a glass of wine so he could use it for a small communion ceremony. They are amazed at the bartender’s ability. When he gets to the rabbit he puts down a big pint of beer. They all waited for an explanation....
‟I figured he’d want something kosher with hops.”
                I’ll start:
A priest, minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar.
The bartender asks “whaddaya having today?”
The rabbit replied: “I dunno...I’m only here because of autocorrect”
But the bartender is on his game... The bartender guesses correctly the bishop wants a glass of water, no ice so he can bless it. The priest got a glass of wine so he could use it for a small communion ceremony. They are amazed at the bartender’s ability. When he gets to the rabbit he puts down a big pint of beer. They all waited for an explanation....
‟I figured he’d want something kosher with hops.”
1        
            Replies
- 
            Bump0
- 
            Why is a cemetery like a bathroom?
 When you’ve got to go you’ve got to go2
- 
            The dr told me I should do lunges to start getting in shape. It would be a big step forward3
- 
            A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood.
 The nurse asked the rabbit: "What's your blood type?"
 "I'm probably a Type O", said the rabbit.2
- 
            Why do you always take an extra pair of socks when you go golfing? In case you get a hole in one2
- 
            Why don't pirates take a bath before they walk the plank? They just wash up on shore.1
- 
            You think swimming with sharks is expensive? It cost me an arm and a leg1
- 
            What is Forrest Gump’s email password?
 1forrest1.0
- 
            When does a joke become a “dad joke?” When it becomes apparent.3
- 
            Megan_smartiepants1970 wrote: »When does a joke become a “dad joke?” When it becomes apparent.
 OMFG0
- 
            Destanieroberts06 wrote: »Megan_smartiepants1970 wrote: »When does a joke become a “dad joke?” When it becomes apparent.
 OMFG
 LOL0
- 
            What’s the formula for water?
 Hijklmno
 Huh?
 H to O
 0
- 
            *Drives past cemetery*
 Oh look a party! Everyone must be dying to get in!0
- 
            I knew this guy with a wooden car. It had wooden wheels, wooden seats and wooden engine. Problem was, it wooden go.1
- 
            I imagined I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda.
 It was just a fanta-sea.0
- 
            Trying to revive this thread, not because i am a dad, because i am not, but because i like this sense of humor.
 Here goes
 "The other day i was in a restaurant, and they served their meat in portions of 2,3,5,7 or 11
 It was their Prime Rib"
 "Which country is has a lot of bad singers? Singapore"
 "Me and some friends started a band. We call it Blanket. It's a coverband"2
- 
            ladder rungs are made further apart than last century because people are taller
 Climb it change. 2 2
- 
            How do you remember your anniversary? Forget it once.2
- 
            How do you wake Lady Gaga? Poker Face0
- 
            Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked under it.1
- 
            Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands1
- 
            Whats so good about living in Switzerland ?
 I don't know either, but the flags a big plus.0
- 
            Did you know 90% of bald people still own a comb?
 They just can’t part with it.1
- 
            What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?
 I don't know and I don't care.1
- 
            Doctor, it hurts when I touch my leg, when I touch my stomach, when I touch my face! What's wrong with me?
 You have a broken finger.1
- 
            I live between a tennis player and a lawyer. It’s makes things convenient. Every morning i just say “good luck on the court”1
- 
            I gave my handyman a to-do list, but he only did jobs 1, 3, and 5.
 Turns out he only does odd jobs.1
- 
            I was playing with my toy boats.
 One tipped over so I used it as a hat.
 Because it was cap sized.1
- 
            I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places.
 He told me to stop going to those places.1
- 
            What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
 Outlaws are wanted.1
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 398.4K Introduce Yourself
- 44.7K Getting Started
- 261K Health and Weight Loss
- 176.4K Food and Nutrition
- 47.7K Recipes
- 233K Fitness and Exercise
- 462 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.7K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153.5K Motivation and Support
- 8.4K Challenges
- 1.4K Debate Club
- 96.5K Chit-Chat
- 2.6K Fun and Games
- 4.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 17 News and Announcements
- 21 MyFitnessPal Academy
- 1.5K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 3.2K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions













