Dad jokes
JFinn26
Posts: 708 Member
Give me your best dad jokes:
I’ll start:
A priest, minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar.
The bartender asks “whaddaya having today?”
The rabbit replied: “I dunno...I’m only here because of autocorrect”
But the bartender is on his game... The bartender guesses correctly the bishop wants a glass of water, no ice so he can bless it. The priest got a glass of wine so he could use it for a small communion ceremony. They are amazed at the bartender’s ability. When he gets to the rabbit he puts down a big pint of beer. They all waited for an explanation....
‟I figured he’d want something kosher with hops.”
I’ll start:
A priest, minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar.
The bartender asks “whaddaya having today?”
The rabbit replied: “I dunno...I’m only here because of autocorrect”
But the bartender is on his game... The bartender guesses correctly the bishop wants a glass of water, no ice so he can bless it. The priest got a glass of wine so he could use it for a small communion ceremony. They are amazed at the bartender’s ability. When he gets to the rabbit he puts down a big pint of beer. They all waited for an explanation....
‟I figured he’d want something kosher with hops.”
1
Replies
-
Bump0
-
Why is a cemetery like a bathroom?
When you’ve got to go you’ve got to go2 -
The dr told me I should do lunges to start getting in shape. It would be a big step forward3
-
A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood.
The nurse asked the rabbit: "What's your blood type?"
"I'm probably a Type O", said the rabbit.2 -
Why do you always take an extra pair of socks when you go golfing? In case you get a hole in one2
-
Why don't pirates take a bath before they walk the plank? They just wash up on shore.1
-
You think swimming with sharks is expensive? It cost me an arm and a leg1
-
What is Forrest Gump’s email password?
1forrest1.0 -
When does a joke become a “dad joke?” When it becomes apparent.3
-
Megan_smartiepants1970 wrote: »When does a joke become a “dad joke?” When it becomes apparent.
OMFG0 -
Destanieroberts06 wrote: »Megan_smartiepants1970 wrote: »When does a joke become a “dad joke?” When it becomes apparent.
OMFG
LOL0 -
What’s the formula for water?
Hijklmno
Huh?
H to O
0 -
*Drives past cemetery*
Oh look a party! Everyone must be dying to get in!0 -
I knew this guy with a wooden car. It had wooden wheels, wooden seats and wooden engine. Problem was, it wooden go.1
-
I imagined I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda.
It was just a fanta-sea.0 -
Trying to revive this thread, not because i am a dad, because i am not, but because i like this sense of humor.
Here goes
"The other day i was in a restaurant, and they served their meat in portions of 2,3,5,7 or 11
It was their Prime Rib"
"Which country is has a lot of bad singers? Singapore"
"Me and some friends started a band. We call it Blanket. It's a coverband"1 -
ladder rungs are made further apart than last century because people are taller
Climb it change.2 -
How do you remember your anniversary? Forget it once.2
-
How do you wake Lady Gaga? Poker Face0
-
Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked under it.1
-
Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands1
-
Whats so good about living in Switzerland ?
I don't know either, but the flags a big plus.0 -
Did you know 90% of bald people still own a comb?
They just can’t part with it.1 -
What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don't know and I don't care.1 -
Doctor, it hurts when I touch my leg, when I touch my stomach, when I touch my face! What's wrong with me?
You have a broken finger.1 -
I live between a tennis player and a lawyer. It’s makes things convenient. Every morning i just say “good luck on the court”1
-
I gave my handyman a to-do list, but he only did jobs 1, 3, and 5.
Turns out he only does odd jobs.1 -
I was playing with my toy boats.
One tipped over so I used it as a hat.
Because it was cap sized.1 -
I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places.
He told me to stop going to those places.1 -
What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.1
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.3K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 422 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions