Is saying thank you lost among people?

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brittanyjeanxo
brittanyjeanxo Posts: 1,831 Member
in Chit-Chat
I don't know about everyone else, but I was raised to mind my Ps and Qs. Say please, say thank you, yes sir, yes ma'am, no sir, no ma'am, etc. Where I'm from, it's a common thing, even among people who are otherwise not very polite. But up here, it's completely lost on people! You hold the door open and people just walk through without even glancing at you like you're just SUPPOSED to do it. Today I let a man go ahead of me in line because he seemed in a rush. His response was to quickly cut in front of me saying "Oh." Same thing happened at Starbucks not too long ago only the girl all but pushed me out of the way and didn't even look at me. It's not like I do these things expecting people to jump and down with gratitude, but at least a little smile can go a long way. Yet I keep doing little things like that expecting people to be different. I guess it's because there is that ONE occasional person who genuinely appreciate it, like one woman who was holding a bunch of bags and trying to watch her two toddlers who I ran to get the door for (even though there were plenty of people that saw it and could have and should have easily gotten the door for her.) She seemed genuinely appreciative, which was nice. I guess I just needed to vent.

What about everyone else? Do people say please and thank you? Do YOU say please and thank you?
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Replies

  • Fayve
    Fayve Posts: 411 Member
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    This is how I feel whenever I leave Canada and go visit places in the states, haha (Minus southern states - they're just as polite I've found!).
  • dclouden
    dclouden Posts: 29 Member
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    A lot of adults around here say please, thank you, yes sir, no ma'am, BUT we live in a military town. However, among our youth, it is much less common, unfortunately.
  • themyriadthings
    themyriadthings Posts: 225 Member
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    I most definitely do say please and thank you! Good karma all around, no matter what the recipient's actions are (or aren't!) :)
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
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    I do ALL the time. When I go out to eat, I probably say thank you 20 times.

    I say thank you for any little thing. And I make sure to make eye contact so they know I mean it, being gracious means a lot to me.



    At the same time.... I'll hold the door open for like 5 different people. MAYBE get one thank you.
  • michelletr
    michelletr Posts: 236 Member
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    i can't imagine not saying please or thank you...my parents drilled manners into me...and i in turn am doing the same to my kids. i live in a small town so around here you do hear alot of please and thank yous. but when i go into town it is a different story..the people are just down right rude. and i get extra rudeness sometimes when a cashier realizes i don't speak french (live in a english/french city)
  • brittanyjeanxo
    brittanyjeanxo Posts: 1,831 Member
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    This is how I feel whenever I leave Canada and go visit places in the states, haha (Minus southern states - they're just as polite I've found!).

    I do apologize for the rudeness of my people :P But seriously, I know. I grew up in Florida, and even some of the most impolite people would at least say please and thank you, and respect their elders. A guy rushing ahead to get the door for a woman wasn't chivalry, it was just POLITE. Here in CT, forget about it. It's everyone for themselves.
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
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    oh and I think saying it's something regional is BS.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    I say please and thank you, but I think it has more to do with the size of the population where you live than anything. In a small town, people are more polite than in a large city.
  • Fayve
    Fayve Posts: 411 Member
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    I definitely believe that there's rude and polite people anywhere (Canada is no exception). It always bugs me when I'm visiting my boyfriend, and nobody says "please" or "thank-you" when ordered foods through a drive-thru. Weird quirk, but I think I'm used to saying it excessively, as another person posted, when dining out at a restaurant or something.
  • Fairysoul
    Fairysoul Posts: 1,361 Member
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    I always say thank you, and even when walking past someone at the grocery store I will say excuse me!
  • catcrazy
    catcrazy Posts: 1,740 Member
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    The last time I went to my city centre shopping area I nearly blew my stack, it was busy, people were bumping into one another, no problem, but I was the only one saying sorry...that miffed me. Then I was the one opening the door and holding it for others but they'd walk thru without taking it and without so much as a nod...after a couple of hours of this one particular woman waltzed thru the door I held open and trod on my toe, no thank you, no sorry and glared at me......I quietly let rip at her for her total lack of manners. She was head to toe in posh designer gear and I was just in smart casual high street...she may have money but I know which one of us had better breeding!

    Manners cost nothing
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
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    I say please and thank you, but I think it has more to do with the size of the population where you live than anything. In a small town, people are more polite than in a large city.

    I totally disagree. I think it depends on how you were brought up, as in your family.

    I've lived in about 20 different cities ranging from small to large. I've seen it no different anywhere I go.
  • poisongirl1
    poisongirl1 Posts: 93 Member
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    I always say please and thank you. Whenever I buy something, there's always three thank yous, first the cashier, then me when I get change, then me again when I actually walk away haha. I find people around here are good with thank yous, holding doors, picking up things for people they might drop etc, good manners in general. I even have had a few people offer to help carry my groceries when I walk home with them. But I'm also in the Maritimes in Canada, so we're supposed to be old fashion like that out here haha
  • HMonsterX
    HMonsterX Posts: 3,000 Member
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    It's strange to me the way you "north america" people say for example thank you ma'am.

    Ma'am? I've never head anyone say that here in the uk!

    I only ever call anyone "Sir" if they are actually a "Sir", i.e. they have a knighthood. Calling any male "sir" is saying they are superior to you, which, they aren't! In the same vein, if i'm phoning a genuine doctor from work, ill always say "May i speak with Dr.so-and-so please?". They have earned their title, and as such should be recognised.
  • shaj316
    shaj316 Posts: 161
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    I live in Chicagoland area and I think its pretty friendly here (although maybe its because I always mind my Ps and Qs and so people around me just do it, too). I will say when I do notice someone skipping the common courtesies, they seem to be pre-occupied...looking at their smartphones or talking or just seem to be somewhere else mentally. I've chalked it up to people just being busy and having a lot on their minds.
  • FitDC
    FitDC Posts: 63
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    There are lots of opportunities for improvement! We need to be good examples. It is always right to treat people the way we wish to be treated. I also bring grocery carts out of the parking lot so cars don't get dinged. In the Southern States we are raised to say yes ma'am, no sir, please, thank you, and my pleasure. Some people are so stressed they really are not aware and really don't care, but you never know when your kindness will plant a seed. Have a nice day y'all.
  • nurse_carolyn
    nurse_carolyn Posts: 348
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    I say "please, thank-you, excuse me, bless you" but I notice alot of the younger generation doesn't. For example (and this is not straight across the board but it happens alot) the cashier will say "that's $15.50" no "please" and when I give them the money there is also no "thank-you."
    I have teen children and these experiences have made me instill things like this in them.

    Someone recently told me that when they met my 18 year old son they were so impressed with him because when he shook their hand he looked right into their eyes and said "nice to meet you." I was NEVER more proud of him <3

    Thank-you for your post it's important that we keep these traditions alive :flowerforyou:
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
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    I have experienced similar.
    I think there are many flawed people that think they deserve special treatment.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
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    I just stick to doing what feels right to me, regardless of people's reactions or non-reactions to it. I haven't noticed fewer people saying thank you .
  • brittanyjeanxo
    brittanyjeanxo Posts: 1,831 Member
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    I say "please, thank-you, excuse me, bless you" but I notice alot of the younger generation doesn't. For example (and this is not straight across the board but it happens alot) the cashier will say "that's $15.50" no "please" and when I give them the money there is also no "thank-you."
    I have teen children and these experiences have made me instill things like this in them.

    Someone recently told me that when they met my 18 year old son they were so impressed with him because when he shook their hand he looked right into their eyes and said "nice to meet you." I was NEVER more proud of him <3

    Thank-you for your post it's important that we keep these traditions alive :flowerforyou:

    You're quite welcome honey! And I bet as a nurse, you probably don't hear thank you nearly as often as I think you should so THANK YOU for taking care of those in need <3

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