Is saying thank you lost among people?
brittanyjeanxo
Posts: 1,831 Member
I don't know about everyone else, but I was raised to mind my Ps and Qs. Say please, say thank you, yes sir, yes ma'am, no sir, no ma'am, etc. Where I'm from, it's a common thing, even among people who are otherwise not very polite. But up here, it's completely lost on people! You hold the door open and people just walk through without even glancing at you like you're just SUPPOSED to do it. Today I let a man go ahead of me in line because he seemed in a rush. His response was to quickly cut in front of me saying "Oh." Same thing happened at Starbucks not too long ago only the girl all but pushed me out of the way and didn't even look at me. It's not like I do these things expecting people to jump and down with gratitude, but at least a little smile can go a long way. Yet I keep doing little things like that expecting people to be different. I guess it's because there is that ONE occasional person who genuinely appreciate it, like one woman who was holding a bunch of bags and trying to watch her two toddlers who I ran to get the door for (even though there were plenty of people that saw it and could have and should have easily gotten the door for her.) She seemed genuinely appreciative, which was nice. I guess I just needed to vent.
What about everyone else? Do people say please and thank you? Do YOU say please and thank you?
What about everyone else? Do people say please and thank you? Do YOU say please and thank you?
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Replies
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This is how I feel whenever I leave Canada and go visit places in the states, haha (Minus southern states - they're just as polite I've found!).0
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A lot of adults around here say please, thank you, yes sir, no ma'am, BUT we live in a military town. However, among our youth, it is much less common, unfortunately.0
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I most definitely do say please and thank you! Good karma all around, no matter what the recipient's actions are (or aren't!)
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I do ALL the time. When I go out to eat, I probably say thank you 20 times.
I say thank you for any little thing. And I make sure to make eye contact so they know I mean it, being gracious means a lot to me.
At the same time.... I'll hold the door open for like 5 different people. MAYBE get one thank you.0 -
i can't imagine not saying please or thank you...my parents drilled manners into me...and i in turn am doing the same to my kids. i live in a small town so around here you do hear alot of please and thank yous. but when i go into town it is a different story..the people are just down right rude. and i get extra rudeness sometimes when a cashier realizes i don't speak french (live in a english/french city)0
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This is how I feel whenever I leave Canada and go visit places in the states, haha (Minus southern states - they're just as polite I've found!).
I do apologize for the rudeness of my people :P But seriously, I know. I grew up in Florida, and even some of the most impolite people would at least say please and thank you, and respect their elders. A guy rushing ahead to get the door for a woman wasn't chivalry, it was just POLITE. Here in CT, forget about it. It's everyone for themselves.0 -
oh and I think saying it's something regional is BS.0
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I say please and thank you, but I think it has more to do with the size of the population where you live than anything. In a small town, people are more polite than in a large city.0
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I definitely believe that there's rude and polite people anywhere (Canada is no exception). It always bugs me when I'm visiting my boyfriend, and nobody says "please" or "thank-you" when ordered foods through a drive-thru. Weird quirk, but I think I'm used to saying it excessively, as another person posted, when dining out at a restaurant or something.0
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I always say thank you, and even when walking past someone at the grocery store I will say excuse me!0
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The last time I went to my city centre shopping area I nearly blew my stack, it was busy, people were bumping into one another, no problem, but I was the only one saying sorry...that miffed me. Then I was the one opening the door and holding it for others but they'd walk thru without taking it and without so much as a nod...after a couple of hours of this one particular woman waltzed thru the door I held open and trod on my toe, no thank you, no sorry and glared at me......I quietly let rip at her for her total lack of manners. She was head to toe in posh designer gear and I was just in smart casual high street...she may have money but I know which one of us had better breeding!
Manners cost nothing0 -
I say please and thank you, but I think it has more to do with the size of the population where you live than anything. In a small town, people are more polite than in a large city.
I totally disagree. I think it depends on how you were brought up, as in your family.
I've lived in about 20 different cities ranging from small to large. I've seen it no different anywhere I go.0 -
I always say please and thank you. Whenever I buy something, there's always three thank yous, first the cashier, then me when I get change, then me again when I actually walk away haha. I find people around here are good with thank yous, holding doors, picking up things for people they might drop etc, good manners in general. I even have had a few people offer to help carry my groceries when I walk home with them. But I'm also in the Maritimes in Canada, so we're supposed to be old fashion like that out here haha0
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It's strange to me the way you "north america" people say for example thank you ma'am.
Ma'am? I've never head anyone say that here in the uk!
I only ever call anyone "Sir" if they are actually a "Sir", i.e. they have a knighthood. Calling any male "sir" is saying they are superior to you, which, they aren't! In the same vein, if i'm phoning a genuine doctor from work, ill always say "May i speak with Dr.so-and-so please?". They have earned their title, and as such should be recognised.0 -
I live in Chicagoland area and I think its pretty friendly here (although maybe its because I always mind my Ps and Qs and so people around me just do it, too). I will say when I do notice someone skipping the common courtesies, they seem to be pre-occupied...looking at their smartphones or talking or just seem to be somewhere else mentally. I've chalked it up to people just being busy and having a lot on their minds.0
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There are lots of opportunities for improvement! We need to be good examples. It is always right to treat people the way we wish to be treated. I also bring grocery carts out of the parking lot so cars don't get dinged. In the Southern States we are raised to say yes ma'am, no sir, please, thank you, and my pleasure. Some people are so stressed they really are not aware and really don't care, but you never know when your kindness will plant a seed. Have a nice day y'all.0
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I say "please, thank-you, excuse me, bless you" but I notice alot of the younger generation doesn't. For example (and this is not straight across the board but it happens alot) the cashier will say "that's $15.50" no "please" and when I give them the money there is also no "thank-you."
I have teen children and these experiences have made me instill things like this in them.
Someone recently told me that when they met my 18 year old son they were so impressed with him because when he shook their hand he looked right into their eyes and said "nice to meet you." I was NEVER more proud of him
Thank-you for your post it's important that we keep these traditions alive :flowerforyou:0 -
I have experienced similar.
I think there are many flawed people that think they deserve special treatment.0 -
I just stick to doing what feels right to me, regardless of people's reactions or non-reactions to it. I haven't noticed fewer people saying thank you .0
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I say "please, thank-you, excuse me, bless you" but I notice alot of the younger generation doesn't. For example (and this is not straight across the board but it happens alot) the cashier will say "that's $15.50" no "please" and when I give them the money there is also no "thank-you."
I have teen children and these experiences have made me instill things like this in them.
Someone recently told me that when they met my 18 year old son they were so impressed with him because when he shook their hand he looked right into their eyes and said "nice to meet you." I was NEVER more proud of him
Thank-you for your post it's important that we keep these traditions alive :flowerforyou:
You're quite welcome honey! And I bet as a nurse, you probably don't hear thank you nearly as often as I think you should so THANK YOU for taking care of those in need 0 -
I say "please, thank-you, excuse me, bless you" but I notice alot of the younger generation doesn't. For example (and this is not straight across the board but it happens alot) the cashier will say "that's $15.50" no "please" and when I give them the money there is also no "thank-you."
I have teen children and these experiences have made me instill things like this in them.
Someone recently told me that when they met my 18 year old son they were so impressed with him because when he shook their hand he looked right into their eyes and said "nice to meet you." I was NEVER more proud of him
Thank-you for your post it's important that we keep these traditions alive :flowerforyou:
Completely agree, we defiantly need to keep the traditions alive..I believe it is all in how you are raised..I grew up in a small town in Texas and have always say thank you and yes ma'am but that's not due to the small town, that's due to my parents telling and explaining proper manners to me.. It's a completely a respect thing. Also you shouldn't expect to get more than you give!!0 -
I'm glad thread wasn't just directed at youngsters!
The rudest people I've seen have been old women! I hold the door open, i just get a dirty look. They walk into ME in a shop, and give me a dirty look.
It's the "kids", late teens, are the ones who actually apologise when they bump into me, THEY are the ones offering help, holding doors, saying thank you etc.
At least, in my experience 0 -
I say please and thank you, but I think it has more to do with the size of the population where you live than anything. In a small town, people are more polite than in a large city.
I totally disagree. I think it depends on how you were brought up, as in your family.
I've lived in about 20 different cities ranging from small to large. I've seen it no different anywhere I go.
Fair enough, but that has generally been my experience.0 -
I'm glad thread wasn't just directed at youngsters!
The rudest people I've seen have been old women! I hold the door open, i just get a dirty look. They walk into ME in a shop, and give me a dirty look.
It's the "kids", late teens, are the ones who actually apologise when they bump into me, THEY are the ones offering help, holding doors, saying thank you etc.
At least, in my experience
I think I've come across an equal amount of politeness and rudeness from all generations, though the most blatantly rude ones seem to be 18 to 20 year old females. But that's my experience 0 -
I believe in being curteous and polite. I've also drilled it into my child. I work customer service so it's a necessity. With that said, today I had a man come into my work today and interupt me while I was with a customer by saying "Hey babe, where's the atm?" I absolutely had to bite my tongue. I politely replied "We don't have one and my name is Carrie". This came from a Military man. Military!!! I was sooo pissed. That was sooo rude.0
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I Agree with OP. But keep doing what your doing, even if ppl dont appreciate it! It's people like you who can make somwone's day and restore faith in the general goodness and altruism of ppl.
The other day I was on the bus and I asked the driver if it would stop at X stop. He just sorta shrugged and went "I dunno- this is my first time doing this route."
I was about to leave when a lady who was walking in asked me to repeat the sstop I wanted and then told me that it wasn't this bus, but the one coming in a few mins that I should take, It's silly, but it made my day that she took the time to do sth most people whouldn't have, despite thier ability to.0 -
I'm glad thread wasn't just directed at youngsters!
The rudest people I've seen have been old women! I hold the door open, i just get a dirty look. They walk into ME in a shop, and give me a dirty look.
It's the "kids", late teens, are the ones who actually apologise when they bump into me, THEY are the ones offering help, holding doors, saying thank you etc.
At least, in my experience
I agree, there are a lot of mean old ppl as well ^^ Ive met mean and rude ppl of all ages...This may be controversial, but prettier/wealthier people tend to be nicer to me ^^ <-- I think this has to do with upbringing and maybe self-confidence ^^0 -
This is a sad state unwhich a large part of society has fallen into. . but alas for me. . when I do something kind. . . I don't look for worldly acalades. .. my recognition will come from one much higher. . therefore. . it makes it easier to be kinder in this world and expect very little in return.0
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I always say please and thank you. Growing up in my Mother's house, you didn't get anything you asked for unless the word please was inserted and the thank you followed.
I do try to understand if the person looks distressed or flustered. Other than that, even if they don't say thank you, I still follow up with "you're welcome".0 -
I was raised in the South and still live here so those types of things are just a way of life for me. Plus, I have a 2 (almost 3 year old) that I am trying to teach these things to as well so we say yes sir, thank you, etc a million times per day to anything (our dogs!!!) and anyone.0
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