Loss of Control

The first time I decided to loose wight i was 191.2 lbs. I was horrified at the time (currently 235.2, i've lost 3.2 lbs so far). Though this wasn't the best way to do it, I didn't buy anything that didn't have the calories on the box. everything was a frozen meal. I just counted calories. but the part that may help you is that if it wasn't what I should eat: mountaindew, ice cream, potato chips I didn't buy it. That was if I really wanted it I had to leave my house to get it. Was it worth going to the convenience store to pay way too much for a 16 oz soda or did i really want to go to mcdonalds for the ice cream cone. Usually the answer was no. eventually your control will get better.

Also I didn't cut out whatever i wanted to eat. If i wanted, or life required, me to eat a wendy's baconator, I simply allowed myself to eat up to my bmr for that day and logged the calories.

so now that i have more experience. you need to learn about food. I am diabetic so this requires the eating style i have now but i've lost weight a couple times previously before diabetes and it worked well then too. Focus on having meals high in protein and fiber. The protein is great for energy and the fiber bulks out your food and slows digestion so you feel fuller longer. Work on looking for recipes that you will enjoy eating so that your wants can shift to healthier options.

But most importantly you have to start making decisions and celebrating small wins. today is the 3rd day of my 'new' start. my house is mostly clean. there is nothing I would loose control with in the house. I will admit that breakfast wasn't that yummy but I want to be a healthy weight more than I want my food to make me dance in my seat. lunch was a salad... and it was huge. I wasn't upset when i dumped part of it on the floor by accident. I couldn't even finish the salad for dinner.

day 2 i knew i was going out to eat with my mother for dinner so i just needed a little protein and fiber for breakfast (couldn't finish the salad for breakfast either). but the point of me being long winded is that we went to wafflehouse. I had 2 eggs, grits, waffle, 2 slices of toast and probably 6 slices of bacon. I was dancing in my seat the whole time... but what i didn't have... was a double bowl of grits, no cheese (i love cheese) and i resisted chocolate chips on my waffle. So in two ways i can be proud of this day. 1) I didn't go over my goal calories but I also made decisions that had me saying 'no'

your way of thinking isn't going to change over night but you need to start somewhere. feel free to ad me as a friend if you want. I'm disabled so i'm usually on discord most days. i don't mind new friends.

I have such a struggle with junk food. I think in my mind, The next time I go grocery shopping there will be no junk food in my grocery cart. What did I do this afternoon,I brought home 2 PIECES OF CHOCOLATE CAKE,for my husband and I. It never fails. I have good intentions,but they get no where. I definitely need friends to help me.

One thing that I tell myself is that my tastebuds aren't in charge. I remind myself that though my tastebuds want this thing, the rest of my body (literally every cell) probably doesn't.

And then, I have also learned my trigger foods and decided it's best to abstain from those altogether. (Donuts... I can never stop at just one...have been known to devour entire boxes.) Zero is better, because my tastebuds aren't in charge.

Yep. One of my favorite sayings from a MFP user:

“My body is not a trash can”.

This varies from one person to the next, but if there are treats you can consume in moderation, there may be no need to put them totally off limits. Consider eating them in smaller portions, or less frequently.

Some people are entirely moderators or non-moderators by nature, some others can moderate some treats but not others. I'm the latter. There were things I needed to keep out of the house at first, and some I still buy only very, very occasionally, because I can't moderate them. Other things I found I could be satisfied with a small portion, and it often helps me to buy them in single-serve packaging. Some people find that if they crave a thing, they can tell themselves they can have it (say) on Friday, then they make calorie room for it then, or sometimes even find that the craving dissipates by the time Friday rolls around since they know the food isn't totally forbidden forever.

You don't say, so maybe this doesn't apply to you, but some people seem to arrive here thinking they can't ever eat treat foods, desserts, fast foods, so-called "junk foods" or whatever, EVER, while losing weight . . . or maybe even never again if they want to stay at a healthy weight. That's absolutely not true, though with some limitations based on the ability to moderate.

It can take some experimenting to figure out which foods we can/can't moderate, and how to accomplish it. The implication is that some of those experiments will fail. That's OK as long as we learn from that, and keep going. It's not a personal experience; it can be framed instead as a useful learning experience. Defining ourselves as a learner rather than a failure is a mindset shift.

This may be inaccurate, but your OP is phrased like "I AM like this, I do the wrong thing". That makes it sound like change is impossible. Can you find a way to create a little wiggle room in that self-concept, more like "I've been this way, and I'm going to work at finding a new path"? Just that little bit of space to imply that change is possible, that can be empowering, IME. Mindset matters.

Best wishes!