What motivates men to do nice things for women?

curvygirl512
curvygirl512 Posts: 423 Member
in Motivation and Support
My most recent goal is to shape up and lose a few pounds before a wedding in a few weeks. My long-term goal has been to make every man on the planet notice me and say WOW in a good way. Well, last night hubby and I went shopping for a new dress to wear for the wedding. He actually said I looked good (not his standard OK, but good) in a few of them. Then today, when he made his Sunday run for the paper and donuts, bought me a latte. Now, as a bit of back story, in 17 years of marriage, this man has never, ever even made me coffee at home, or bought it for me without my asking. Also, the rest of the family eats the donuts--I can pass on those.

So, I'm trying to figure out my guy's motivation: Is he noticing that I'm starting to look good? Is he jealous b/c other guys are noticing, and believe me, other guys ARE noticing? Is he trying to sabbotage my efforts (huh, I never thought to ask for skim milk)? Or, was he just curious about how the pumpkin spice latte tasted, so he bought one *for me* so he could sample it?

Initially, I thought he was just being nice, but the more I think about it, he was just curious and bought me the latte so he could try it. While none of you actually know my spouse, please weigh in--what motivates men to do nice things for their women?
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Replies

  • creatureofchaos
    creatureofchaos Posts: 65 Member
    In my experience, assigning complicated motives to a man's behavior is not a very productive exercise.

    He wanted to do something nice for you. It doesn't matter why.

    Just say thank you and do something nice for him.
  • bmqbonnie
    bmqbonnie Posts: 836 Member
    I think you think too much XD

    Thank him and do something nice for him! This is a good thing!
  • Ireshgurl
    Ireshgurl Posts: 559
    Girl, don't question it, just take it as for what it was!!! Now..... if it keeps happening then I'd start questioning his motives, lol. If my husband every became that thoughtful for a moment, I definately wouldn't question it.
  • farmgirlsuz
    farmgirlsuz Posts: 351 Member
    My vote is he either wanted to try it himself, or after he DID try it he decided he didn't like it so he told you that he bought it for you. But that is just me being cynical...

    My b/f is one of the best guys I have ever met but I have no idea what gets a man to do nice things. (If I did, I would do it once in a while so he WOULD do nice things!) When you find out, let me know!
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Stop analysing it to death.

    If you really have to find out why, ask him.
  • wutamunkee
    wutamunkee Posts: 440 Member
    In my experience, assigning complicated motives to a man's behavior is not a very productive exercise.

    He wanted to do something nice for you. It doesn't matter why.

    Just say thank you and do something nice for him.

    Say thank you and move on...
  • scott1024
    scott1024 Posts: 279 Member
    I thought my wife closed her account...
  • tonicia
    tonicia Posts: 145 Member
    I also think too much...it's a curse. I agree with the posters above but if you must associate a reason with the behavior....I don't know you or him, but maybe he realizes he's got a good thing and he thought of you and wanted to bring a smile to your face. = )
  • Nikki582
    Nikki582 Posts: 561 Member
    In my experience, assigning complicated motives to a man's behavior is not a very productive exercise.

    He wanted to do something nice for you. It doesn't matter why.

    Just say thank you and do something nice for him.
    ^^ this
  • TomehToxic
    TomehToxic Posts: 30
    Sex
  • SarahBeeMe
    SarahBeeMe Posts: 91 Member
    So funny! He could have a motive, but I'd be inclined to just enjoy it whatever the motive! Just take it as a positive and keep up all the good work because it's obviously paying off! :D
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
    I don't question these things, I just enjoy my time in the sun.
  • meeperoon
    meeperoon Posts: 270 Member
    Its very spur of the moment I find, I cant for the life of me get my bf to get me flowers, but he calls me first thing when I wake up (well more like waking me up but its the thought...) and when were shopping he'll suddenly choose to pay for it instead of me, or when rooting around for something for him and he finds something for me he keeps it to one side.

    It think it completely depends on their train of thought. Maybe something reminded him of you whilst he was getting the coffee, maybe he's just having a great day!

    Put it this way, he did it. And I wouldn't call him out on it because it might scare him off doing it again!

    I hope you were very very grateful for it, because if you were, it might happen more often!!

    :)
  • jgbigman
    jgbigman Posts: 63 Member
    I think you think too much XD

    Thank him and do something nice for him! This is a good thing!

    I completely agree!! The motivation could be something as simple as seeing you smile and letting you know that he appreciates you.. If a man does something nice there is not always motivation behind it, he could have just been thinkng of you, maybe you had said something in a past conversation about that particular latte..
  • ❤B☩❤
    ❤B☩❤ Posts: 634
    I thought my wife closed her account...

    HAHAHAHAHA! That's awesome! :laugh:
  • ❤B☩❤
    ❤B☩❤ Posts: 634
    Sex

    LOL! That was my very first thought when I read the topic. Great minds.....!
  • obstacleone
    obstacleone Posts: 228
    Why does anyone do anything for anyone?
    I give, I help, I support because it makes me feel good knowing I'm doing something positive for someone else.
    If you honestly think that his getting you a latte was jealousy based or he is trying to ruin your efforts (with the milk) you need to stop reading conspiracy theories. I can honestly say men are simple minded. We have few thought processes. We have no real motives with the things we do. If we can do something that makes you happy, awesome. If it's little to no effort? even better.
  • leylaaa87
    leylaaa87 Posts: 39
    It could be any or a combination of the reasons you listed. But as other posters have stated, it doesn't quite matter. Enjoy it! You deserve it!

    But I would avoid satiating your curiosity by asking him why he did it. I f he thinks nice things will make you suspicious/make you interrogate him (no matter how nicely) he won't do them again.
  • leanne2376
    leanne2376 Posts: 217
    I think you think too much XD

    Thank him and do something nice for him! This is a good thing!

    i agree
  • JulieSD
    JulieSD Posts: 567
    My best friend is a guy and quite seriously this is what he tells me all the time when I get carried away thinking about what guys think, 'Guys are simple, not overly complicated and generally what you think we're thinking about, we're not' lol

    I say hubby either A) wanted to do something nice or B) wanted to try the latte....either way, you got a latte and it made you happy. Just be happy :)

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