What motivates men to do nice things for women?

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  • Brandicaloriecountess
    Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
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    Just take it and enjoy it.

    Another thing I noticed in your post you said you motivation was so every man would notice you, being noticed is nice but idk if that should be your main motivator!
  • rafor
    rafor Posts: 78 Member
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    Ok, here is a guy's perspective. It probably wasn't a conscious thought as to whether or not he should do something nice...he just knew he should. If he looked back at it, he might have really appreciated the morning wake up cal you gave him *wink* or he has noticed how your mood has improved and your confidence soars. Also added into is would be the looks that other men give you lately. However, most (if not all) of this is completely subconscious. Unless your guy schedules good deeds (birthdays, valentines, anniversaries), he does it simply because he feels like you deserve it. He probably bought the latte because he knows you like them and he may have sampled it because if you like it, he may like it as well. Other than that, you have been doing a good job of making him feel special and in a small way, he wanted to make you feel special too.
  • Tegan74
    Tegan74 Posts: 202
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    Men are simple creatures ~ and over thinking the things they do will only give you a migraine. Just say thank you and move on :)
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
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    The best way to end your man's attempts at good deeds is to question his motive or critique the good deed. The best advice I got when I got married is "always assume your spouse has the best of intentions." If he is a good hearted person, why not just enjoy his good-heartedness? Maybe reciprocate by getting the next pumpkin spice lattes, but make em skim. :-)
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
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    As Freud said, "sometimes a latte is just a latte."

    Or something. :tongue:
  • sleepytexan
    sleepytexan Posts: 3,138 Member
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    I would hope a man would do something nice for a woman he loves, just because.
  • StarGeezer
    StarGeezer Posts: 351
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    I can virtually guarantee there were no ulterior motives to his actions. I can't speak for all guys, but THIS guy does nice things because I take pleasure in seeing people happy. That's it. But I'll tell you what can and will throw a wet blanket over that tendency, and that is to either be accused of sinister intentions where there were none, or to have that good deed thrown back in my face by it not being appreciated.

    Tread carefully, just sayin'.
  • kkellam1
    kkellam1 Posts: 182 Member
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    I couldn't speak to why he did something nice, but this is a great example of why we eventually stop doing nice things. :) We take the time to do something nice, then we are "in trouble" for doing that. It becomes easier to do nothing in the first place!

    Great lesson to be learned here...like many have said, just be happy and move on.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    Wow...after 17 years of marriage, he thinks you look good and even thought about you while he was out and brought you a latte. A pumpkin spiced one. My favorite.

    What a jerk!
  • HollieDoodles
    HollieDoodles Posts: 678 Member
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    I'm thinking.. that you're thinking.. too far into what he might be thinking..

    How about not assuming the worst.. or does he deserve it? If he has given you reason to think he must have other motives than to be a thoughtful husband, then maybe you should have just talked to him about it. If not, why not just be grateful.

    It could be so much worse. You could have to deal with what I had to deal with. Trust me, this is nothing to write a post about and have the whole world chime in on.

    I actually feel bad that I read this post, because I'm sure he never thought that doing something sweet would make you turn to the internet for advice.

    Seriously.... so silly.

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