Struggling

StormRenae90 · February 18

Need help pushing forward. I'm tracking but eating like crap and having a hard time caring. Why can't I just push past the mental block and stay focused?

sollyn23l2 · February 18

I don't know that there's anything outside of yourself that can make you care or stay focused. Setting up routines and boundaries for yourself can help, but you have to care enough to follow them. When you're ready, you'll do it. Until you're ready, nothing can make you. Taking it one step, one day at a time can be helpful. Find something that you can either stop or start doing. Just one thing. Like candy or full sugar soda. Do that. Then take another step.

Crochetluvr · February 18

Hey....I've been there. I had to hit rock bottom before I was ready to stop the madness.

I lost 50 pounds here on MFP. Then I got complacent. I was regaining and I came back to MFP twice....but I wasn't ready. When I gained back 30 of those 50 pounds, that was when I got serious again. I have lost 15 of that 30 so far.

Interacting with the people here does help. Try joining a challenge. I joined one....helps to keep you on track. That's not to say you'll be perfect....I'm not. But you get some support from others who are going through the same challenges you are.

You can do it....really. If I can, anyone can. 🙂

totameafox · February 18

I would talk to your doctor. It is possible that you have depression and/or anxiety.

TexasTallchick · February 19

I can relate! I stay focused and care SO much, logging every bite for about a week...and then I say F it and eat a bunch of junk...until I get mad at myself and start over again.

I wish I had a good answer for you. I don't know how much you want to lose, but my goal is VERY far away from where I am now and it feels overwhelming. I also dread the thought of having such a long path ahead of me to be diligent about what I consume.

It helps to keep my focus on today. JUST FOR TODAY...I will log every bite and stay within my calories. Just for today, I will live in support of achieving my health goals for the future.

Looking at just the next 24 ahead makes my goal seem realistic. I can do anything for one day! Then, I refocus in the morning until it becomes just how I live and eat now.

csplatt · February 19

Success motivates. Set an initial goal that you can actually achieve. Two weeks of logging everything you eat, even if you go over your goal, for example? A 20 minute walk (at any speed) each day?

Jillygirl0220 · February 19

I have so been where you are more times than I can remember. It took years before I finally was able to commit to eating better and working out. I tried every diet program out there but in the end it was CICO (calories in, calories out) that was successful for me. Don’t give up. I still struggle on some days as I work to lose my final 30 lbs. Developing a strong list of whys is very important. I refer back to it often when I’m tempted to get off track. Building in a cheat meal on Saturday also helps (I eat at maintenance on this day but whatever I want cause I love a good hearty breakfast). Working out has become a habit. The hardest part about losing weight is getting started. Start with making a commitment to yourself then get your numbers - get your TDEE at calculator.net to determine the amount of calories you can consume to maintain or lose 1-2 lbs per week. Slow and steady is the way. I’m down 150 lbs (this took years) with 30 to go. We can do this! Come back here for support plus there are great groups on Reddit. You CAN do this!

AnnPT77 · February 19

Maybe this is not a part of the problem, but just in case it IS a factor: Please don't think you need to adopt the very most aggressive plan in order to make progress. Others have given related advice to take one step at a time in a positive direction.

A gradual weight loss rate, or a gradually increasing manageably challenging can sometimes get us to a goal in less calendar time than some extreme, revolutionary, theoretically-ideal plan that causes bouts of deprivation-triggered over-eating, low energy, procrastinated/skipped exercise, disrupted sleep, low mood, breaks in the action, or giving up altogether because It's. Just. Too. Hard.

Too many people arrive here thinking they need to adopt some extremely restrictive set of eating rules, not eat their favorite foods, never have treats, and then they maybe stack punitively intense, unpleasant daily exercise sessions on top of that. That usually doesn't end well, but does usually end quickly. Here's the thing: Excess fat or sub-ideal fitness isn't a sin we need to expiate by suffering.

Better approach: Think about gradually finding, practicing, and grooving in happy new habits a person can keep up long term, ideally permanently, that lead in a positive direction. Evolution, not revolution. If not truly happy habits, at least tolerable and practical ones!

I don't know about you, but I can't keep up white-knuckled discipline, willpower or motivation for the entire rest of my natural life . . . but after getting the feel for how great I feel at a healthy body weight and with reasonable fitness, those are benefits I want to have lifelong. That requires a manageable plan, one that fits my personal willpower and energy budget.

So: Consider whether a simpler, step-by-step, gradual plan might work. When a bit of useful willpower is available, experiment to find a new, positive habit, and practice it until it's on autopilot. Keep going. Next willpower surge, another positive change. I predict you could surprise yourself with where that would lead you over a few months or so.

Best wishes!

Lady_Magenta · February 19

@StormRenae90

I can't tell you what to do, but perhaps tomorrow morning you can look in the mirror and whisper "I love you" to yourself and while you might feel silly the first time you do it, do it again until you mean it.

And then, when you love yourself (it took me 60 years) tell yourself (Ioud or quietly) what you hope to achieve. Do it every morning. Love yourself unconditionally with all the flaws you think you have and all the flaws you know you have.

It might take a while but it's a strange working exercise for women because most of us are so busy loving everybody else, that we forget to love ourselves. Fat or thin, tall or small, old or young, unconditionally.

When I started to love myself and when I got scared about my health (Type 2 diabetes) that's when I was able to change my lifestyle for me. Not for my husband or the kids, not for family and friends, not to match a beauty image. Just for me.

Love yourself enough to change your way. I know it sounds weird but believe me it works. And then, when you feel like eating 'crap' again, tell yourself you love yourself enough to know what's good for you.

You can reach me via message, or if you want, you can come and join me in the group I founded "Determined Losers on a Mission"

I will be around for a year or two. I have lost 45 lbs so far and I have 100 more to go.

Only you can push the mental block away. All these silly food noises we hear, are just the result of our bad habits. "Cravings are not a command."

I am not sure if I could help you, but I tried.

mgalsf12 · February 21

One day at a time...if you eat poorly one day or two or three...don't beat yourself up. Just start again and again. We've all been there.

Struggling

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