I am an absolute failure. I have not lost 1 inch.

It can be difficult to figure out everything - all or nothing...

We don't have to figure it all out today - when I am starting, I find it much easier to break it up and make decisions at that meal... instead of trying to pre-plan and meal prep for a week. That comes later, maybe never.

Are there healthier fast food choices like a salad or grilled chicken, or cup of chili?

Or, stop at gocery and pick up food instead...

Or weekly, stock up on single serving and convenience food things like salad bags, cheese sticks, sliced cheese or meat, can of soup or chili - so it is available for you to snag and eat

Frozen veggies to pop in microwave or a premade tray of cut veggies or shrimp cocktail trays they have premade in delis.

Regarding night evening...

Instead of thinking of it as cheating or that you are powerless over the food - consider scheduling a mealsized 4th meal later evening... Dish it up, put the rest away, then eat it like you would any meal.

♡focus on having a satisfying meal when you do eat - enough that is a good amount, then stop. You can always eat more later today and tomorrow..

And start. This meal, each meal. Choose a good meal, just this meal, from what is available, eat and enjoy it, then stop. You can do it again, next meal.... For you, these choices are for you - so look at what you can do right now, do that. There will be more choices later - kind of like choosing which clothes to wear, you pick 1 outfit when you need to wear clothes... And a different outfit next time... go you!

... hope this helps... i'm trying to get started again too... hang in.

Meal prep isn't the only way to go. Personally, there's nothing I despise more than forcing myself to spend half a day cooking food that I'll probably get tired of long before it's gone. So I stock a lot of "ingredients" that can be thrown together with absolute minimum effort.

I keep things like salad kits, frozen vegetables, precut fresh vegetables, and 90 second pre-cooked rice and pasta on hand. For protein, I have frozen grilled chicken, cooked shrimp, canned beans, and meatballs. I'll also sometimes cook a "big meat" to use during the week. Something like a couple of chicken breasts, or a London broil that I can slice up and use in a lot of different things. I use things like dressings, jarred sauces, and spice blends to mix things up.

Once every few months I get a giant tray of lean hamburger, season and cook the whole thing and divide it into single serving freezer bags. I can then add it to pasta with sauce I can heat up and add things like frozen peppers and spinach to bulk it up or add to a plate of enchiladas. I do the same things with eggs for breakfast. I cook a pan of eggs with sausage, add hash browns, spinach, bell peppers, onions, etc. and divide it into freezer bags that defrost while I make a piece of toast for an actual hot breakfast. I can mix and match what I have on hand and have a meal ready in probably 10 minutes or less.

I eat sufficient protein (more than 0.8g per lb of lean mass, not aspirationally, but as a long term average), and more than my five a day veggies, and more than the recommended fiber for my age and gender. Again on a long-term average as opposed to aspirationally once in awhile. And sufficient candy, chocolates, cookies, ice creams and desserts to not, maybe, give three full sized donuts in a day a run for their money, but more than enough to at least average the better portion of a big one. Again average. This means more than 1000 Cal sometimes (yes, really) and also 0 Cal a few very rare times.

You and I can't diagnose why she's tired.

She could be depressed. She could be overworked. She could be unable to sleep. She could be severely undereating for all we know and thinking that her rate of loss is too slow when it's actually fine. We just don't know.

In general, to me, it sounds that she really should see a doctor. More than just food seems to be going on here. Very high stress too, it seems to me based on what's written

Most of us here a long time have taken more than a few moments to log and to think about how we spend our calories.

But the time investment was needed.

I decided I would rather have a Lindt chocolate than waste the same calories on sugar in a coffee. So I reduced the sugar in my coffee step by step. (Actually at the time it was Calories for more canned salmon but things do evolve!!!🤣)

Sure, I would rather have the calories for a Snickers bar than waste them on coffee cream. So I switched to milk initially. And then reduced the multiple "shots" step by step.

Till I went from four creams and four sugars to black. Almost easily. Over months not days.

Do you have any idea how many calories were in a 20 or 24 oz coffee (largest ones) with four creams and four sugars? Enough for a meal for *kittens* sake! They scale the quantity to the cup size. One cream and sugar for a small is not the same as one cream and sugar for a large.

So sure we can talk about a chili instead of a donut, or a bag of carrots, or apples in the car while driving

Or about ready to eat nuke in 6 minutes frozen dinners or items for 250 to 650 Cal augmented with a bag of frozen veggies for 200 to 400Cal. Have you checked out the calories in a 750g bag of California mix veg? And a pouch of mashed potatoes augmented with 350g of 0% Greek yogurt. Bet ya many people would be too stuffed to eat this as a meal or even two. (Yes I realize that these meals are too large for 1200Cal a day. But they're not for 2000Cal a day. Not everyone needs to cut at 1200 Cal a day and portions CAN be adjusted!)

But the person has to stop flailing. Stop self castigating. And get to a point where they can calmly think about what they're doing.

On a two hour commute you would think one would have time to think without going out for a drive again.

If this were my friend we would not be having a chat about weight management. But we would be having a chat about other stresses and issues in one's life and how they could be managed. To get to the point where one can manage weight. 🤷‍♂️

@PAV8888 , I usually agree with you, and I even agree with your most recent PP above. What you say is the main point possibly is the main point. But I think patriciafoley1 probably also has a point in this case.

I had to go back to February 28 in OP's diary to find a day that looked like it might be semi-completely logged. If that day is typical . . . just improving nutritional quality via different fast-food or food-product choices might help with the energy level. Any day I can find that has multiple meals logged is basically ultra-sugary foods and meat dishes, maybe meat dishes with bread-type stuff. That has blood sugar spikes and crashes written all over it, and that is very, very likely to have negative consequences energetically, if it's a consistent pattern.

Any positive step is a positive step. Subbing more protein for the donuts, even.

OP, I'm not trying to be mean here. I want to see you succeed, sincerely.

I'm not disagreeing that what I saw out of a sample of four partially logged days was not great nutrition!

Frankly I was crying for "precious calories" wasted on low "utility" (in the economics sense) options.

So I guess I will defer to those who looked into this more thoroughly.

I still do believe that self care requires a time commitment and the mental bandwidth to follow through with it.

I suppose fake it till you make it is a valid option too?!!!

@GiftedHealth - what do you want to try? Hang in and keep at it, you are worth it. There is a world of nourishing food to explore and things to help feel better.

Ooh, ok, didn't pay attention to that, lol