Need some advice

meowmily
meowmily Posts: 85
edited October 3 in Motivation and Support
When I had initially lost 10 or 15 pounds I felt really great about myself. However, now that I've lost over 30 I seem to be running into some problems. I feel like I'm a lot harder on myself when it comes to my appearance. Funny thing is, it feels now like my self-esteem was higher when I was bigger. I know I'm smaller, and I know I look way better than before but I seem to keep telling myself it's not good enough. I just seem to be so critical of myself now. I'm losing weight in a really healthy way (eating all my calories and getting regular exercise) but I'm much harder on myself now whenever I slip up. Maybe it's just because I'm paying more attention to my appearance now? Is anyone else having this problem?

Replies

  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    I posted a blog about this last week. After the inital excitement wore off, I've started being self conscious again. Sorry I can't offer any advice as I am figuring this out myself but want you to know you aren't alone!
  • SailingMike
    SailingMike Posts: 237 Member
    You have higher expectations on your appearance now. I think maybe because you are too focused on appearance rather than your health? If you agree, maybe you could loose the scale and the full length mirror for a while and just focus on healthy living. NORMAL healthy living... no fad diets, regular exercise. Think more about how you FEEL rather than how you LOOK... Happy people are MUCH more attractive! If you are down on yourself, you will NOT be a happy person.

    I wish you the very best!
  • CJK1959
    CJK1959 Posts: 279 Member
    Maybe because when you were bigger, you had grown accustomed to how that felt, and now that you are smaller there is the insecurity of what might be expected of you now. I think that it's just an adjustment that will come in time...;remember you are worth this and you are looking great! :flowerforyou:
  • MrsHephron
    MrsHephron Posts: 13
    I have had the same problem. But I have gotten alot of comments and I have decided to just take them well, love that people are noticing my hard work and try to let it remind me that I have made progress and as long as I'm healthy thats what counts. But I will tell you I am creeping up on my Highschool wieght which I thought would be a dream come true and I'm not all that satisfied!
  • sophieshaped
    sophieshaped Posts: 228 Member
    I felt that too... I think personally that I raised my expectations and hence became more critical. Before, I put up with the fat tummy – when I lost weight and realised that maybe I could actually one day have a flat stomach, I became critical of every bit of fat!

    So maybe take it as a good sign!
  • TinaDay1114
    TinaDay1114 Posts: 1,328 Member
    I think sometimes when we really start to like our bodies (how they look, how they feel, how they respond to exercise and challenges), we're afraid to just enjoy it -- maybe we're afraid we're going to go back to that place where nothing feels right, when we hated how we looked and how we felt...? I find myself feeling a twinge of that sometimes. Like somehow beating myself up feels more "right" than just sitting back and saying, "WOW, look what I did."

    BUT, I think that's the lesson to learn -- how to enjoy our accomplishments, how to enjoy how healthy feels, and not play the guilt trip with ourselves. And still trust ourselves to work hard.

    I think it's great that you're taking this journey now while you're young. It took me 40 years to find the balance I needed between pushing myself, and loving myself. I've finally realized how much easier life is when you're not flogging yourself the whole way.

    Just keep working on your head as well as your healthy body, and you'll get there.

    (You look FANTASTIC, by the way. Take a good look.)
  • Cat52169
    Cat52169 Posts: 277 Member
    I noticed the same thing about myself this morning putting on my make up. I've never cared about how people saw me or what they thought of me but now I feel like everyone is watching me and waiting for me to fail. I don't know. We are our worst critics though.

    I think that you should look at how far you've came and recognize the hard work it was to get there and take pride in that. :flowerforyou:
  • ju33
    ju33 Posts: 16 Member
    Hi,

    Well done on your weight loss :) fab:)

    When we lose weight, our physical apperence changes and we can see the reults

    However, what isn't so easy to deal with is the mental side of things,

    ie you go to try something on and you initially go for the size you were, realise your not that size and get a smaller one,

    its like..hey whats going on.. me in a size 12 etc...

    I think one way to deal with it is to remember what size you were, your reasons for wanting to lose weight and what you have achieved

    Dont be hard on yourself, no need to be, look how well you've done :)

    If you want to lost a bit more, then just carry on as you are, each day as it comes :)

    xxx
  • jennifer52484
    jennifer52484 Posts: 888 Member
    Congrats on your weight loss!! I just hit that 30lb weight loss goal today!!
    You've been working so hard to reach whatever your goals are that when you slip up your brain doesn't want you to revert back to "old" times. You just have to realize you've made it this far which is a HUGE accomplishment. I've told myself that if i just focus for 6 months then i can lead a normal healthly life, the rest of my life. It is amazing what i have learned about food from keeping a food diary.
    Keep up the great work!!
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