Feeling Defeated

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Well my fellow MFPers, I just don't know what to do anymore. I keep telling myself this is going to get easier and it's one day just all going to fall into place. But it just seems to be getting worse. I feel like no matter what I do, I'm not beating my demons. I have no problems with the exercise. I can get my 5 days of exercise in without problems. My problem is with my eating. I've also been struggling with the thought of whether I should give up my gym membership. You see I'm going back to school to get my Phd in order to be a nurse practitioner and I'm not working alot, so I feel like I'm paying that price now, but soon it may be too much. Plus I remember in my past when I've lose weight, I did it all at home doing dvd's, free weights, walking outside. Plus now I do have an elliptical and exercise bikes at home. I'm just wondering if maybe doing home workouts will bump up my weight loss. Do you think my body is just use to everything I do? I try changing the workouts when I'm at the gym but all in all, you're doing the same machines, just different days. But again, that doesn't help my eating problems. Does anybody out there who has had to lose 100+ pounds or close to that tell me what you did to beat your food demons? I feel like I've tried everything. I'll do well for awhile then it's like I fall off the wagon and gain back weight that I've worked so hard to lose.

I will accept any advice, but please no mean sarcasm! Thank you!

Replies

  • lizzue
    lizzue Posts: 276 Member
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    I have 88 lbs to go after losing 12lbs so far, I have never beaten my food demons! All I can say is that I put loads of effort into my exercise and feel like if I then eat lots I am defeating the object! Something in my head says you just worked out for an hour do you actually wanna ruin it with eating that cake. Failing that I usually shout out load top of my voice THIS WILL MAKE ME FAT!!!! That usually gets the message across! :-) xx
  • rbryntes
    rbryntes Posts: 710 Member
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    It's hard to know what your eating is now because your diary is not public. What are the issues you have with eating? You only talk about eexercise which you then say is not your problem. Can you open your diary and tell us more about what your problems are?
  • michedarnd
    michedarnd Posts: 207 Member
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    I'd be interested in knowing what your "food demons" are. It would make it easier to answer you.

    Since you've lost 18, it's clear that you CAN, in fact, do this. Personally, I've been fitting my exercise around what I do for work. Now, for those of us who are a bit heavier, WALKING, if it is a brisk walk, can make a huge difference, and with the elliptical and the exercise bike, what I would suggest is going to interval training. While in school, push your walks as fast as you can go. Park further away from your destinations, etc. With the home equipment... I go forwards, backwards, high-resistance, and high-speed on my elliptical. I don't do the same routines. You might take advantage of your busy days to zig-zag diet so that you body doesn't plateau because it is used to what you are doing.

    I think that you can fit this program in without killing yourself. Play around with it and see how you can work it into your schedule. Plan ahead for the week, if you can (having piles of food ready/cooked on Sunday so that you just have to grab things. Pile up on healthy, nutrient-dense snacks.

    That's my suggestion.
  • HMonsterX
    HMonsterX Posts: 3,000 Member
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    What exactly are your eating problems? By the sound of your post I'd guess you're "on a diet", and keep falling off and binging. Try making smaller dietary changes, ones that are much more manageable, therefore you dont feel so deprived, therefore far less likely to go back to your old ways.

    Remember, you dont have to cut out all the nice stuff and live on rabbit food to lose weight!
  • cheekydeeky
    cheekydeeky Posts: 146 Member
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    I sympathize with you. It's hard to be around something that makes you crazy. How do you eat to live when all you want to do is live to eat. I struggle with that almost everyday. I'll say this, don't let one day or one meal throw you off track. It's all in perspective. You get lost a little and then you get back on track. It's ok. I emotional eat or eat because I'm bored, I've been trying to find things that I can have LOTS of but keeps me full. I do popcorn a lot. Just have to find things that you like that you can indulge in without ruining all your hard work. It's going to be ok! We'll get there! :) Congrats on all your progress so far.
  • JIsh09
    JIsh09 Posts: 158
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    Sometimes It's a little hard to defeat those "food demons" especially when you have kids around. You know how kids are with there snacks,and well sometimes we get tempted! Just try to exercise a little more and burn more calories,if your walking a lot try walking a little faster or maybe jog and see how that goes.
  • BProudOfU
    BProudOfU Posts: 83 Member
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    I have never "beat" my food demons, just learned to control them. I don't "diet", ever! I eat what I want, when I want. I just make sure I do some kind of exercise everyday, and log everything! If I want that cake, I can have it but it will cost me on my diary. I will have to add those calories that I consumed and probably have to exercise a little more. Don't deprive yourself of anything. I know that if I feel deprived "I can't have that",then that is the first thing I want! I just try to tell myself that I can have it, but will have to log it and is it really worth all those empty calories. I have over 100 lbs to lose and it is hard. I have been doing this for a little over 3 months now, I have lost 18 lbs. Seems like such a small number, but when I look back I am really pretty much on track. I set my profile to losing 1 lb a week...that's pretty much right on schedule. We just want it to happen faster, I know I do. Just hang in there. Our bodies have become conditioned to having all this food and now we are trying to cut back. It takes time, but you will get there. Just don't give up!! Best of luck on your journey!
  • awkwwward
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    I never really have had "food demons." Yeah, I've had some bad eating habits over time but I was always blessed to never be one of those people who felt food was a comfort or the like. I've lost 75 pounds and have another at least 40 to go but....the big thing is looking at what you're eating and how you're working out. Are you creating a calorie deficit? Are you losing a bit of weight every week? Are you losing inches? If those are "yes" answers, then you're on the right path be it a slow one. If you're not losing weight but within the needed calories and working out, try upping your cals for a week and lowering your working out. When you head back into it the next week, it'll help to boost you out of the plateau. What are your eating problems? Figure them out and work at them practically - just like a grad school homeowner assignment. Do you not know how to eat healthy? Hit the books, Google and figure it out. Do you binge a lot? Work to keep those things out of the home and plan meals. Do you have trouble staying in your cal limits? Work to plan out nutritionally packed meals so you're snacking a bit less. You'll get there - just keep at it!
  • JaneWrastle
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    I have been athletic and strong my entire life. always playing sports, always helping wiht the heavy lifting, but i have never been in shape. when i got on the 'band wagon' to take my health seriously i discovered that i could workout all day but controlling my diet was my biggest challenge. i went thru a mirade of feelings about it - i felt a lot of resentment - why could other people lose weight so easily while still eating the kind of food and proportions that i ate, etc. Somehow i learned to embrace that whatever my body needed is what my body needed. There's no need to judge it and say it's annoying or aggrivating, it just is what it is. after consulting with other friends on the same voyage they confirmed that sometimes they didn't lose weight until they dropped to 1500 to 1200 calories a day. that was a very, very hard transition for me. it took months before i was able to do it without feeling like i was 'starving'. One thing that did help was reading Geneen Roth's book Food, Women and God - no joke and it's not too god-ish, if you are not religious. i also started paying attention to the composition of what i was eating - i started eating more Mono-unsaturated fatty acids - i read the Flat Belly Diet book and it guided me to eating little bits of dark chocolate and guacamole and stuff i really enjoyed. the more i ate things i enjoyed, the more i didn't feel deprived and resentful.

    For those of us who know how to workout, we rely on it too much b/c it's what's easiest or natural to us - but obviously, working out is not our issue, the issue is food, and that's why i joined this site, i really needed help monitoring myself. So, do what you have to do to get your head around it but you and i know there's only so much your workout can do for you. every time you over eat you are working against yourself in a way that your workout can barely make up for - especially mentally and emotionally.

    And if you're in the mood for some additional reinforcement although you sound pretty busy going back to school, i've also kept reading about diet and health - the more the idea is in my mind the more i stick to it - i recommend the book The Zone and i also have a hypno therapy disc for 'good health' that i listen to at night when trying to get to sleep. Use all manner of power of suggestion to get your mind on track and then your habits will be easier to change :)
  • CJK1959
    CJK1959 Posts: 279 Member
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    First off, let me congratulate you for going back for your Phd....I think that is wonderful!! I too have 100+ lbs to lose and my biggest problem has always been my food demons....I like carbs and sweets, and I do a lot of mindless snacking and eating. I still struggle with it every day, but I find that logging my food really does help. I also try to have the mindset that I can have whatever I want, but I have to have enough calories left to "afford it". I don't worry so much right now about sugar vs. carb vs. fat etc...I figure that will come in time....right now I focus on the "affordability" factor and find I don't feel so deprived, which helps me not to fall off the wagon. So if you look in my diary, you will see potato chips, and the occasional McDonalds meal and ice cream, but very seldom do I go over my daily calories. Must be the shopper in me that associates the "what can I spend" mentality, but so far it's working for me. Good luck to you!
  • dietpop
    dietpop Posts: 37 Member
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    It's great that you are exercising. You got this part right!

    Food is just a series of habitual decisions. You just need to identify your bad food habits and make changes. Everyone here has had to change their eating and would love to offer you suggestions and tips.

    You're worth the effort!
  • greasygriddle_wechnage
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    the only suggetion i can give you, is to seriously look at a diabetic diet, or life style change. it sounds like your sugars are all out of whack. i know, been there done that. i eat very small, but more meals/snacks throughout the entire day, i am much more satisfied, and don't binge. these choices still need to be healthy ones, you can't eat snack size snickers throughout the day inbetween regular meals. also, machines have shown to be the least effective method of weight loss. swimming, biking, walking are WAY better, as you body uses MANY more muscles then the same ones grinding out the same pattern on a machine. see if that doesn't help.
  • RagtimeLady
    RagtimeLady Posts: 172 Member
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    Well, I don't have 100 pounds to lose - THIS time. In Oct. 2005, I weighed over 235. Don't know for sure because I wouldn't step on a scale. I got down to about 127 pounds and maintained it for a while. Bad meds and an aging metabolism caught up to me and I gained about half of it back.

    I will also add to the requests to make your diary public. Most of us won't judge you - it's just so we can help you. I don't know if you're old enough to be menopausal or perimenopausal - I stopped cycling when I was about 40. It knocked the hell out of my metabolism. Now that I'm over 50, it's even worse.

    Exercise? Yes!!! This time on the diet bandwagon, I was seeing little results from diet and daily exercise - 1/2h cardio + upper or lower body weight sets. What changed things for me was deciding to do 1-1.5 hours of cardio per day, weights when I feel like it. When the weather cooled off, I started walking, hiking, kayaking and bicycling. Now I'm burning 5000+ calories per week and the weight is coming off. I can also eat almost anything I want, within reason.

    All that exercise also helped me with one of my big food demons - midnight eating. I used to wake up 3 or 4 times a night, ravenous. Even though I had healthy snacks around, those munchie calories add up! Since I started the more rigorous exercise schedule, I sleep much better at night - munchies solved!
  • Bomber989
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    With a short term goal of 30 lbs and long term goal of 50 lbs, I realize I fall short of the goal you are looking to achive. However, I'm a little like you in that I can and have felt defeated when starting different weight loss efforts. Recently, I began a program that helps me curb my hunger so that I can loose enough weight to safely start running again. I also have a back issue to manage but first the weight loss and then the running. I've been using Shaklee's Cinch shakes which really curb the hunger but provide lots of good nutrition and an ingredient, luceine, that helps to not loose muscle during weight loss. I lost 11 lbs during the month of September and am tracking well for October. I don't want to sound like an advertisement so I'll stop here. It works for me so if you might be interested in more info, just let me know. Good luck and I hope you stick with it, I'm sure you'll be happy if you do.
  • MadPanda75
    MadPanda75 Posts: 73 Member
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    I know what really helped me was when I joined Jenny Craig. It can be pricey but for me it was the right motivation and inspiration that I needed. I have lost 100 lbs but I gained some back and its been difficult to get over this hump, then I found mfp and fingers crossed its really helping to boost my motivation and help me re-focus. If you have the time and money, what about working with a personal trainer a few times a week or trying some different healthy recipes? The best thing I could tell you though is to not loose heart and to know that a lot of people have been were you are now. You can definitely do this! Feel free to add me as a friend as well!

    Much love and support!
  • shurlox
    shurlox Posts: 1 Member
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    I think it is fantastic you have no problem with working out!!! Many overweight people including myself find that to be the real challenge in loosing weight. Focus on that positive!!!!! Are you recording all the food you eat everyday? I find that is important, even if I am going over my calories....over time you can see a pattern...do I eat more at night? Am I eating a lot of sweets? As you notice the patterns you can then focus on them and start making changes. For instance I find that I eat more when I veg in front of the TV...I made a few changes...1) Less TV 2) have foods ready for me if I do choose to veg out....i.e. cut up vegetables and light dip or light popcorn. Whatever you do, don't give up!
  • grannygethealthy1111
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    You are going back to school to become a NP. What would you tell your patient? What do you tell yourself? BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY ... your body is listening. I am 61-years-old and have lost 91 pounds over the past 18 months. Good health and a healthy weight is the greatest gift you can give yourself. If you have the discipline to complete the NP program, you can learn to adjust your eating habits. Overeating is a habit, not a disease. Eat foods that fill you up and benefit your goal of achieving good health. Drink lots of water and green tea. Have a cut off time at night where you absolutely refuse to put one bite in your mouth, starving or not. You have to want this all the way down to your gut. If you keep telling yourself that you will fail, you will. If you are eating healthy you will not starve. It takes TIME to develop bad habits. You did not get fat overnight and you will not take it off overnight. Nothing comes to you when you are sitting on the couch looking at your exercise equipment while eating pizza. I sincerely don't mean that to be mean, I am just being 100% honest with you. That is reality. You will get results based on YOUR actions. Keep trying. If you stumble, pick yourself up and start again. Best wishes!
  • webdiva1
    webdiva1 Posts: 326 Member
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    Good for you on the exercise! But you're right: if you can't control your eating, you're just not gonna get the results you want. Here are a couple things I've learned on my own journey. Use what you want and roll your eyes about everything else. :)

    Seems to me it all starts with what you're eating. Consider opening your food diary, would you? To do that, do to My Home > Settings > Diary Settings and scroll down to Diary Sharing. If you want all the folks who've responded to your post to be able to see it, you need to make it Public. If you want REAL accountability, this action will likely help you get there. It was also enable folks to give you suggestions about what to change.

    What I'd look for: how much water you're drinking, how many calories/how much sodium and sugar you're consuming, what percentage of your menu is fresh veggies, fruit and protein vs processed boxed and canned foods, bread, etc.

    Next, I'd look to see how many calories you're allotted per day, how many you earn through exercise and how many are left at the end of the day. Maybe you're not eating enough, given how much exercise you're putting in ... or maybe you're eating the wrong stuff, depending on what your food diary says.

    All I'm saying is, letting others get a peek at your diary should get you some helpful feedback.

    Next steps would depend on what I see when I look at your diary. Want my feedback? I'm not an expert ... I'm no doctor or scientist ... I'm not a trainer ... I don't work out the same way you do. I'm just a fellow MFPer who started out in Feb. with about 150 pounds to lose. If you want feedback, feel free to drop me a note once you've opened your diary, and I'm happy to give you some. I promise I won't judge you, criticize you or be mean. I will be honest and suggest things based on my own experiences. Totally up to you.

    Regardless -- hang in there. You CAN do this.
  • TinaDay1114
    TinaDay1114 Posts: 1,328 Member
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    I think good eating habits (and battling the food demons) really just starts in your head, not in a diet book, or willpower. We all have demons, and a lot of us (me, included) use food to comfort ourselves when the demons raise their ugly heads. I used to beat myself up over everything, including food, weight, and whether or not I exercised. I had a mean little voice in my head that said "You suck, you're not trying hard enough, you're not good enough, you're _______" Food really helped shut that guy up sometimes. And restricting myself made him hide for a while. But that demon always came back.

    It's only been in the last 6 months or so that I really feel like things have "clicked." The only thing that changed for me -- and trust me, it's been a LONG time coming -- was that I finally stopped letting that voice take over, stopped beating myself up so much. I still push myself, but now it's constructive, positive.

    Sounds corny, but if you can do the "head" work, the body will follow... Just my 2 cents...
  • jeremyofauburn
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    You need to remember that weight gain is typically slow and so is weight loss. There aren't any magic pills or formulas. (If your find a pill making claims, just give it a few years and you'll most likely see law suites and/or an FDA ban on the drug.) Persistence is the key to your success. You will notice your weight loss journal will go up and down. In fact, it you charted it on a bar graph it would most likely have a slightly downward saw-tooth pattern. Focus on the downward progress because it is PROGRESS! This progress is you making a real and beneficial change.

    Food intake is the number one factor affects a person's body fat. Re-evaluate what you are eating and how much. Don't guess! Measure everything! Don't cheat. I know you will find articles that suggest cheating but don't do it. It undermines what you are doing. If you use rewards, try to get away from using food or drinks as rewards.

    Eat a healthy diet. If you are unsure what that is, talk with a nutritionist or dietitian. One size diet plans do not fit all. A diet for a diabetic is different from someone that has had their gall bladder removed. An Olympic athletes' diet is different from someone that sits at a desk most of the day. Your body is different than anyone else's. Make sure it is getting the nutrients needs to function properly.

    Get a fitness buddy to help hold you accountable and keep you positive. This is completely manageable. Good luck on your journey!