please help this is serious

ashleyb9 · September 2011

Sorry if this sounds weight, I am 20- 5'2 and posted this on my personal blog site for help as well..

Alright, here it is. I am struggling right now with my life. I know i have posted many times about being unhappy and needing to maintain and/or gain weight so I decided to make a page out of it. As you all know I started my weight-loss journey in May and have been very successful. This came with eating fewer calories then previous and exercise. I have always worked out but the problem was my over eating and compulsive eating of fatty foods, fried foods, sweets, and soda. I took those out of my diet completely and have never been happier or felt better. Yes, I will have a sampling of a sweet here and there but they don't even tempt me anymore. I lost a good thirty or so pounds this summer and came back to college weighing about 108. I was VERY worried about weight gain seeing I bought all new clothes and all. I was worried what others were going to say about me. Coming back to school has NOT been easy but I haven't changed. I get the "anorexic" comments, the "have you GAINED" weight jokes that I think are so rude, and positive reinforcement. Anyways, I am not down to about 99.6 which I am not proud of. I eat throughout the day but the problem is the foods I eat now are so low calorie and I go to the gym about 5 days a week and do a lot of cardio as well as abs and strength training. So, I am still burning way too much and I don't know what to do. I try to increase what I eat and it doesn't work because I honestly eat when I am hungry and when I am full I stop. Sometimes, I over-eat or make myself feel sick because I am trying to eat more. With cardio, it's my time to get away and seeing "5 miles" is such an accomplishment. I DON'T do it to lose weight, I honestly ENJOY it. This is my first step to getting help, this is hard for me...you have no idea. I did not go to the gym yesterday and I am not going today which kills me and makes me so upset because it is the one thing that takes my mind off of life and makes my day better, it always has been. I am in such a bad mood because this is so hard. I am also eating more which makes me feel gross physically because my stomach isn't big enough. I don't know how to do this and I know I need to go to counseling or something but this is my first step. I don't have an "eating disorder" and I never planned on losing so much. I do count calories which I know I need to stop but I don't do it just for the calories I do it for the sugar and iron levels as well. I hate hate hate hate hate seeing such a high number regarding what I eat to be honest but it's never like oh I ate 900 calories I need to stop eating for the day. I don't starve myself or fast, I legit fasted for one day in the end of May and that was it. I'm not sure what I am trying to get across with this post but I need to start recovering somewhere. I am scared to gain weight and not fit into my clothes but I bought these clothes at 115 so I think I should be okay. I have NO boobs what so ever and I just feel week. I strength train as well at the gym so that's not the issue. If anybody would like to be of help please let me know. This is very serious and important. What was supposed to be a happy time for me is now causing extreme stress, depression, and tears everyday. I talk about this with my roommates and they are so supportive but obviously cannot help me because they are not informed enough. Some of the foods I eat are chicken, fish, scallops, oatmeal, greek yogurt, fruits and veggies, soup, tea, cereal, flax seeds, etc. My grocery list provides a good example. Anyways, I just feel like a counselor can't help me and is only going to judge. Thank you for reading this, it means a lot. I hope this comes of help to girls or anybody who may experience a similar situation. I NEVER PLANNED TO WEIGH EVEN 105 NEVERMIND 99.6. This is out of control, I am scared. Thanks guy!

Chairless · September 2011

High protein shakes may help you get more in without making you feel too full.

meeperoon · September 2011

You may not want to hear this but if you think you have a problem this serious I think you may need to go and see a doctor. You are only 5'2 which means you can weigh less but if your still losing and are SCARED of losing then maybe you should go see a doctor even for a medical check up and make sure you aren't doing any damage.

Be safe not sorry.

Unwrapping_Candy · September 2011

I believe that you need to seek professional help. The physical solution for your problem is simple, and it could be stated here on a MFP Forum, and you could follow it, and be fine, but the mental side of things will likely be neglected. You've indicated a desire for help, so go get help. How can you think that a counsellor is going to judge you, and that a bunch of non-professionals on a internet forum won't? Or is judgement from us OK?

The good news is that you are 20 years old, 5'2'' and 99.6 pounds. This means you're not really much underweight yet, and it can be turned around rather quickly with a proper diet change. You just have to break the mental blocks that are keeping you from doing what is best for your body. I am estimating based on your height, weight, sex, age and an assumed activity level that is moderately active, that you need to eat at least 2,000 calories per day to maintain. I am assuming at this point, if you're reading this, that you just grunted or growled or had some otherwise negative reaction to seeing that number--that would be those mental blocks I am telling you about.

So, the truth of your situation is that you need to eat more; eat healthy, yes, but eat more. I am sure your doctor could verify this next point for you: at your current weight and food intake you will continue to deteriorate. You will get weaker, and weaker losing more and more weight and you will end up in hospital with a NG tube feeding you.

Go get help. You won't find the kind of help you really need here. Cheers.

Candace Prescott

rml_16 · September 2011

I suggest you go and get a physical.

That is a very low weight for your height. However, you're very young right now, so that could have a lot to do with it. When I was in high school, I had a friend who was about 5'6" and weighed 100 pounds. She tried as hard as she could to gain just 1 pound so she could weigh 100 and COULD NOT do it, no matter what she did. It was the weight her body was happy with.

My thought is that perhaps your body is just happy at that weight right now. If you're honestly eating a healthy diet and not trying to lose weight, I don't think that could be considered an eating disorder. Some people are able to healthfully weigh less than their "ideal" weight.

But, again, a DOCTOR is the best person to talk to about this. Get a physical. They'll do blood work, check all your vitals and be able to tell you if what's happening is truly hurting you. And your doctor can also refer you to a dietician who can help you devise an eating plan that's healthy and will help you gain the weight you want and maintain at that level.

Good luck! (And for the record, when you lose weight and people are used to seeing you heavier, the anorexic comments are common. I'm 5'3" and at 132 pounds, my mother was seriously concerned that I was anorexic. Um ... no. lol)

moneydiva24 · September 2011

You have had quite a journey, but it sounds like it has taken a very dangerous turn! There's nothing wrong with enjoying eating and exercise, but when it becomes obsessive or dangerous to you, it's time for some adjustments. Throwing up so that you can eat more is damaging to you in many ways, and, I'm sure you know, not normal behavior. Make sure you are eating enough calories to sustain your weight in the light of your workout schedule, and get thee to a counselor, young lady! Having a professional to talk to can be very helpful, and they are trained to help you look at yourself more honestly. Seeing a behavioral therapist would be beneficial to you, particularly since are clearly frightened of the path you are on. This is my opinion, and I'm not a doctor, but I beg you to talk to someone, even if it's just to try it out. I wish you luck, but more imortantly, I wish you strength!

elizahbeth · September 2011

she did'nt say she was making herself sick!

honestly I don't think this young lady has an eating disorder, a lot of people are over reacting to her post!

She is healthy and is figuring out for herself that she needs to make some adjustments to do what is best for herself.

I'm standing firm with the thoughts that she can do this.

moneydiva24 · October 2011

I don't think she has an eating disorder, either, but she did say she would get sick so she could eat more sometimes. I was more concerned with the tone of what she wrote, which sounded pretty scared.

ksself · October 2011

I think you may need another outlet for your feelings and something to help you stop obsessing over the scale and exercise. I look foward to excercise too and get upset if I can't do what I wan there, but I just think maybe this has become and unhealthy obsession. If you won't get help, maybe join a club or something to get you off this track you are on and get busy with something else. Just my 2 cents.

please help this is serious

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