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happypy · September 23

I’m trying my fitness pal again, I never seem to get to my goal weight, this is decades of trying, but clearly not hard enough, I feel I sabotage myself, anyone reached their goal?….. I do feel my fitness pal is the best way to do it. I need to lose 23 kg, any fabulous advice out there 😃

rms62003 · September 23

What do you mean by 'sabatoge yourself'?

I'm getting close to my goal, have 90lb (40ish kg) lost so far and another 35 lb (16 kg) to go. Here's some advice for you:

Try to make SMALL changes. When people hit it hard and fast they tend to feel deprived and fall off the wagon. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Track all your food for a week or two without doing a deficit. This is your base that you currently eat. Then, lower the calorie goal by 300-500 from your base. This will make you feel less deprived and hungry. Also, you can see what are your 'problem' foods, then try to cut down (NOT OUT) those problem foods. Ex: are you a chip eater? Try smaller portion sizes or less times a week. Same idea if you are a sweets eater. If you drink sugared drinks, then try cutting down to out on those as first line - high source of calories.
Don't get frustrated if you don't see a lot of weight loss, especially in the first few months. This is the hardest one for me. I get frustrated with plateaus and have to keep telling myself this is natural Our bodies don't like to lose weight, so you will have stalls. Keep up with the program, and it will get better. If a stall is more than 2-3 weeks, you can try small adjustments in calories or increase in exercise.
On the weight loss front, remember that smaller increments of weight loss are better for us. Focus on only 0.5-1 lb (0.25-0.5) kg/week. This might seem really low, but it allows your body to adjust and not fight you as much. People that try to lose huge numbers every week usually end up failing.

rockyhi512 · September 23

You are going into a challenging time of year to reach your weight loss goal with fall hearty foods and the Christmas season. Recording what you eat is important as is daily weigh ins. Mark it on a Calendar, but choose one day of the week as your official weight on MFP usually after a good motivational weekly try. This way you can recover from a sabotaged day. Give yourself a good time frame to accomplish your goals. Set a weekly goal and a monthly goal on that Calendar in pencil so that you can adjust for the changes that have occurred. For 23 kg I would say about 6 months which would put you through to end of March. I do not know where your start weight is, but give yourself sufficient calories. I personally do not like the suggested calorie amount that MFP wants you to use (1200 to 1350). You cannot form proper meals which causes frustration and sabotage.

I use 1600 as my goal give or take 100. I also follow a high protein/ low carb program with occasional forays into keto. I keep my carbs to about 30 grams with the rest split between protein and fat as need be. I also recommend a tasty protein powder with a low carb drink like coconut water to reach your nutrition goals. I started in February at 250 lbs losing about 10 lbs monthly and in the last 2 months the loss has dropped to 7 and 5. I am currently at 192. I have another 13 lbs to go till the end of November when I will go into maintenance. I will need this time (14 months) to adapt to a new lifestyle of eating, before I continue to lose down to my full goal of 160 lbs. I hope this helps, and keep trying. Patience…you will get there.

SafderKarim · September 23

Both comments are really practical and very insightful. Thank you

Strudders67 · September 23

Take it slowly and also look at trends, not just day-to-day weigh-ins to gauge your progress. If you weigh less at the end of October than you do now, that's a win, even if it's only a small difference.

I reached my goal in March 2020, having taken about 15 months to lose 14kg. I'm a little over 5' so even eating only 1200 cals a day (plus exercise calories), my deficit was small and therefore my rate of loss was slow. That was fine - I used the time to figure out what worked to keep me feeling full, what high calorie things I could substitute, what lower calorie foods I actually like eating etc. No point swapping to cottage cheese on my post-dinner thin crackers as I can't stand it, but swapping pasta, rice or potatoes (when cooking at home) for a plate-load of vegetables is fine. I formed habits that I've stuck with and have remained a healthy weight as a result.

Jthanmyfitnesspal · September 24

Many times! It does come back and then I have to do it all over again. But I just keep coming back for more!

The sucky thing about weight loss is that it just takes so long and you have to be disciplined the entire time. For a 50lb loss, you typically need to budget 50 weeks— very close to a year. That might as well be the rest of your life!

And that's what it should be. Why lose the weight if you aren't going to maintain your new weight? Thus, any changes you want to make to start to lose weight, you have to be willing to continue for the rest of your life. Bam!

AnnPT77 · September 24

I'd say yes, I've reached my goal, and MFP was an important part of that for me.

After being overweight/obese for around 30 years, I lost the same amount you're aiming to lose, 23 kilos, at age 59-60, while menopausal and severely hypothyroid (medicated). It took a bit under a year. I've been at a healthy weight and in the same jeans size for 9+ years since. Currently I'm 69, 165 cm, 61 kilos.

For years, I said I wanted to lose weight. I even pretty much knew what I'd need to do to lose weight. I didn't do those things. The only thing I can conclude is that I didn't really mean it, since what I eat and how much I move are 100% things within my control. I was simply putting a priority on what felt fun in the moment, at the expense of feeling good in the longer run. That was a choice.

Once I committed seriously to losing weight, it turned out to be easier than I'd expected. It wasn't essential to be perfect every single moment, just gradually to be better on average over a period of time, enough better that my weight trend was heading in the direction I intended. It wasn't necessary to suffer for the sin of getting/being fat, it was just necessary to find new, practical, tolerable - ideally enjoyable - new routine eating and activity habits. I could chip away at that gradually. As long as I kept moving generally in the right direction, it worked.

I agree with the recommended strategies in the posts from @rms62003 and @Strudders67above.

I absolutely do not suggest setting goals that are a weight loss timeline, X kilos by Y date. IMO, the calendar is not a weight loss tool. For someone like me, someone who was over-fat for decades, the real golden prize isn't reaching a healthy weight, it's staying there long term. That's not a project with an end date. It's about finding new, permanent habits that can run nearly on autopilot when other parts of life get challenging . . . because eventually they will. That's a forever endeavor.

Personally, I decided I wasn't going to do anything to lose weight that I wasn't willing to continue long term to stay at a healthy weight, except for a sensibly moderate calorie deficit until I reached a good weight. That's a very different mindset from "lose weight fast".

"Lose X pounds by Y date" is a goal we don't control, because bodies are weird. Instead, I'd recommend what I call process goals: Goals about things I can fully control. Examples: Log my food accurately every day, do some active thing X times this week, try one new vegetable every month, etc. (Not all those things at once, either: More like one or a couple at a time, in the mode of experiment - find better habit, practice habit, choose another habit to try, repeat.)

Not every experiment succeeds. Some things I tried flat out didn't work. That's not a failure, it's an opportunity to learn, cross something that doesn't work off my list, try something else. As long as I keep going like that, I'll eventually figure it out, right? For me, that worked.

I think weight loss is a thing you can do, too, if you commit to it. If a hedonistic aging hippie flake like me can do it - a woman with a near-zero budget of willpower, discipline, or motivation - I think most any reasonably sensible adult can. Which exact tactics to use will vary from one person to the next, because we're each unique individuals with different preferences, strengths, challenges and lifestyles. Other people can give us ideas to try, but we're the only one who can figure out what really works for us.

The bottom line is that if your experience is like mine, the quality of life improvement that results is much more than worth that it takes to accomplish it. Persistence and perseverance are important. Perfection isn't, because "pretty good on average most of the time" works fine. Misery, IME, is completely optional.

Wishing you success!

HealthierGranny68 · September 26

Hello, I am not actually new here but decided to try this again. I decided to check out (BACK. AGAIN) . This reminds me of how I have done in the past. I desperately need to lose weight, but struggle with unhealthy snacking. I love MFP and am still a member, but I gave up and haven’t taken my health seriously. I would also appreciate any advice as well that could keep me on track again. I know how you feel (happypy ). I pray that we both can get back on track. I also appreciate the support that your friends have given you here. It is a great help to me as well. : )

tmbg1 · September 26

Same here! Every time I have gotten close to my goal, I've gone off the rails and gained everything back. I don't know why I think this time will be different, but here I am. My goal is to drop 40 and I'm down 6. We'll see how it goes. I feel like this is my last chance to get it right.

rms62003 · September 29

I'm back on my journey - had a healthy weight for about 10 years, then fell into bad habits for the last 20+ yrs.

The biggest thing that got me back on track is that I finally wanted it. I got fed up with myself! To change a bad habit, you have to want to change for yourself, not your doctor, not your family, not for social media.

And, I think a big thing for staying on track is to somewhat take the focus off the weight loss. If you focus on that, you are going to risk falling off track when you 'reach your goal.' Instead, focusing on building the healthy habits that will continue even after you reach your goal. That is why so many people are still in the 'maintenance' phase but on MFP! They have adopted the healthy lifestyle and are continuing with it.

Every time it seems to get hard, or you want to stop, keep thinking of that healthier you that you are striving for. Also, if you have a bad day, or get off the rails, don't give up! We all do it, and we just need to acknowledge this happens and get back on track. One day of bad eating or one missed workout isn't going to negate everything you have done (or, even a week of it if you are on vacation.) And, over time, if you stick with the healthier habits, you will find it harder to derail yourself. Your taste buds do change over time, and you start to like the healthier stuff more.

cmriverside · September 30

I don't know how we can help much. For me it was just, I didn't want to be fat. Full stop.

I did what I had to do to lose the weight. Was it easy? Not really, but it also wasn't that hard. Lots of changes had to be made to my eating patterns and habits but that was all to the good. It's too easy to not make good meals, too easy to eat too much. Discipline is hard. Eating good healthy nutrition is not hard. It's delicious once I figured out where my calories were concentrated.

If you don't have an over-lying reason it's going to be tough. Parties and eating out are going to take mindfulness.

Visiting with friends and family changes by necessity. Making celebrations be all about the food has to be carefully considered when visiting or planning to have people over.

Shopping has to change. I no longer go to the bakery aisle and wander around trying to decide which goodie I want. I just don't buy them. Decision done.

It may sound or feel like deprivation but that's an immature way to look at it. I know I felt that way at first until I snapped myself out of it. My mindset went from waaaaaaaah, "I can't have _ _ _ _ _ _ _," to, "This is a delicious substitute and I am so glad I found this!" and, "I am so much healthier and happier now."

Until you've lost a lot of weight you probably won't understand the massive mental change that happens with long-term weight loss management. It's a blessing and even though at times I have a twinge of, "Remember when you used to eat everything," and maybe miss some long-ago food, I am SO much happier at this lower weight. It is and was worth it.

ddsb1111 · September 30

Learning to diet is a lot like learning to drive. Sure, you might keep it between the lines for a little while, but the moment there’s a sharp turn or something unexpected happens, you’ll end up off course. Dieting works the same way. If you white knuckle your way through some extreme plan, you might hold it together for a bit, but the second life gets tough you give up and gain it all back.

The only way it really lasts is if you learn the habits you can actually live with. You have to eat in a way that looks close to how you’ve always eaten, with some adjustments so you stay within your calorie goal. That’s what makes it stick. Otherwise you’re just making dieting harder on yourself than it needs to be.

That advice has always been out there, but people ignore it because quick fixes sound easier. In reality, if you can be content losing one or two pounds a week while eating food you enjoy, you’ll look back in six months or a year and see just how far you’ve come. If you can’t be content with that, then you don’t actually want it badly enough.

age_is_just_a_number · October 1

Congratulations on continuing your healthy lifestyle journey!

Full disclosure: I haven't read all the other replies.

These three words in your post jump out at me "not hard enough" —> Living a healthy lifestyle should not feel hard or like work. It should just feel like living your life.

I've reach my goal with MFP previously, then between menopause and COVID I gained 30lbs. In 2024, I was actively trying to lose weight and gained 7lbs. In January 2025, I did some reading and YouTubing and started daily tracking. I'm at day 268 and have lost 15 lbs. I have 15lbs to go, but already feel so much better than I did. There have been lots of ups and downs throughout 2025, but overall a downward trend. What has been a real game-changer for me was joining the MFP 100 day challenge. I started in April mid way through challenge #22. We are now mid way through challenge #24. At first 100 days seems really long and now the challenges fly by. I tried the shorter challenges, but found them too short. The 100 day challenge gives me the extra motivation and accountability that I needed to stay on track and focused.

You need to look at yourself and your lifestyle and determine what your one roadblock to success is. Then make a plan for how you'll get from where you are today to surpassing that roadblock. For example: Say you don't eat any vegetables. You want to eat 6 servings of vegetables a day. Going from 0 to 6 is a huge change. So, you plan to break up that change into four steps: 1) eat 1 serving of vegetables a day for two weeks, 2) eat 2 servings of vegetables a day for two weeks, 3) eat 4 servings of vegetables a day for two weeks, 4) eat 6 servings of vegetables a day on most days for the rest of your life.

Focus on what you can control (calories IN and OUT).

1 meal at a time
1 day at a time
1 pound at a time

My suggestions:

Track your food as accurately as possible, but don't let perfection be the enemy of done. In other words, do your best and get this to be a solid habit.
After two weeks of tracking, look at the data. Is there one small change you can make to reduce your calories IN? Common examples:
1. you're eating out 5 days a week —> reduce that to 4 days a week
2. you drink soda/pop/sugary drink —> swap this out for water
3. you don't eat any fruits or vegetables —> start adding 1 or 2 servings per day
Make that one small change. Continue to track. After another two weeks or once your small change feels like it is no longer a change, then review your data and identify another small change.
Rinse and repeat.

We are here for you if you have questions along the way. You got this!

lcharpentier2 · October 2

Well this must be my 20th time coming here I read a lot of good info. I also started my journaling I journal my weight and b/s every day. And yesterday was a fair day scale didn't budge but B\s was 6.5 so doing something right. Let's go we can do this.

Linda in the great Northern Ontario

xbowhunter · October 2

Been down the weight loss road more times than I can remember.

I am really good at forming healthy habits to get to goal weight. Once I am there, I let my gudard down and eat more than I need to. It slips away and I gain some of it back.

Currently I am in a calorie deficit again to lose another 5lbs or so to get back to goal weight where I feel my best. I feel so much better now that I am eating good whole food again and not consuming alcohol. :)

AnnPT77 · October 2

After reading some of the other replies, I'd like to add a few comments.

One is that people who struggle with keeping weight off might want to read some of the threads in the Most Helpful Posts subsection of the Goal: Maintaining Weight section of the Community here, and see how other people's strategies might apply to them. I'm suggesting doing that BEFORE reaching goal weight, well before, so you can think about how your weight loss strategy can create a good path into successful maintenance.

The other thing is to repeat some ideas - sort of rules of thumb - about maintenance, ones that are sometimes cited by folks who are in long-term maintenance.

Behave in maintenance like you still have 10 pounds to lose. (This is about commitment and attention, not about keeping a calorie deficit! 😉)
Maintenance is gradually losing and gaining the same 5 pounds over and over.
Weight management isn't a project with an end date. It's forever.

You can also take a look at conclusions and research from the National Weight Control Registry, which tracks people in the US who've lost a significant amount of weight and kept it off for multiple years. Those people have varying strategies, but there are some common elements.

http://www.nwcr.ws/Research/default.htm

The idea I'm promoting here is that if keeping weight off is the struggle, then it can help to work on weight loss in a way that makes that long term maintenance easier and more likely to succeed. Personally, I'd suggest focusing on creating new, permanent, more positive routine eating and activity habits, rather than focusing on losing weight fast.

I want you to succeed long term. I want everyone to succeed long term. It has been a huge quality of life improvement for me, and I want that for everyone.

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