Something that bothers me.
brittanyjeanxo
Posts: 1,831 Member
I wanted to point out something that a post got me thinking about.
On the health side of thing, just because you are thinner than someone, doesn't mean it is safe to assume that you are healthier than they are in all aspects. And just because someone is thinner than you, does not mean they are healthier. At a healthier weight, certainly, but you might eat better, exercise more, have a better heart, immune system, etc. If you automatically associate being fat with being totally unhealthy, there's something wrong there.
As far as the beauty part goes, you CAN be big AND beautiful, just as you can be underweight and beautiful. Is it healthy? No. But does it make you ugly? Absolutely not. Embrace what you have while you have it. We are all here to become healthier, whether that's gaining,losing, or toning. The desire to gain, lose or tone and keep going should come from knowing it's good for you, not from low self-esteem. What I'm saying is, while you may be big (or thin, or flabby) now, OWN what you have for the time being, because right now, at this moment, you are stuck with it. It will not change overnight.
tl;dr: Learn to love what ya got while ya got it.
On the health side of thing, just because you are thinner than someone, doesn't mean it is safe to assume that you are healthier than they are in all aspects. And just because someone is thinner than you, does not mean they are healthier. At a healthier weight, certainly, but you might eat better, exercise more, have a better heart, immune system, etc. If you automatically associate being fat with being totally unhealthy, there's something wrong there.
As far as the beauty part goes, you CAN be big AND beautiful, just as you can be underweight and beautiful. Is it healthy? No. But does it make you ugly? Absolutely not. Embrace what you have while you have it. We are all here to become healthier, whether that's gaining,losing, or toning. The desire to gain, lose or tone and keep going should come from knowing it's good for you, not from low self-esteem. What I'm saying is, while you may be big (or thin, or flabby) now, OWN what you have for the time being, because right now, at this moment, you are stuck with it. It will not change overnight.
tl;dr: Learn to love what ya got while ya got it.
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Replies
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This is exactly how I felt when I was 270#. I was in completely 100% and total denial.0
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Some very good points :-)
It is always good to remember not to judge - even if the person you are trying not to judge is yourself. It's possible to change, but not instantaneously, so we have to learn to enjoy the journey.0 -
This is exactly how I felt when I was 270#. I was in completely 100% and total denial.
Well I'm sorry you couldn't change and embrace yourself at the same time, then
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aren't you the philosopher? I like this and subscribe to this idea 0
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aren't you the philosopher? I like this and subscribe to this idea
Haha, hardly, but thank you honey. 0 -
Between the post that sparked this one, and this post itself my facebook status is now.....
Hmmm. Think I just found the inspirational pep talk I needed. So now I decide the funk is over!! I'm awesome And tough if you don't think so!
I'm sick of thinking little of myself. Thinking I'm not good enough. Not skinny enough. Not pretty enough.
I NEVER will be good enough if I don't start believing in myself.0 -
Between the post that sparked this one, and this post itself my facebook status is now.....
Hmmm. Think I just found the inspirational pep talk I needed. So now I decide the funk is over!! I'm awesome And tough if you don't think so!
I'm sick of thinking little of myself. Thinking I'm not good enough. Not skinny enough. Not pretty enough.
I NEVER will be good enough if I don't start believing in myself.
EXACTLY! Some people think that embracing what you have while you have it means you're "in denial"; but if you absolutely HATE yourself, when you get to your goal weight, guess what? You are not just going to magically love yourself and be happy where you are. Psychologically speaking it just does NOT work that way.0 -
EXACTLY! Some people think that embracing what you have while you have it means you're "in denial"; but if you absolutely HATE yourself, when you get to your goal weight, guess what? You are not just going to magically love yourself and be happy where you are. Psychologically speaking it just does NOT work that way.
That's a really good point. If I don't love myself now, why will I when all of a sudden that "magic" number appears on the scales. That number does not define me or the life I lead.0 -
With you 100% Brittany, there is no do over for today. We are what we are and we are meant to enjoy life and live it to the fullest no matter what our size. We are all here working to live healthier lives, all committed to improving ourselves.
The fact that we all see room for improvement, does not mean we must be ashamed of who we are right now. It surely does not mean the we can not enjoy our lives.0 -
It's very true.
There are plenty of people who are skinny but what is actually called "skinny fat" and that's not healthy either. Also plenty of larger people who's tests at the doctor come back 100% normal.
Being skinny doesn't equal healthy like people think it does.
People can be beautiful at any size and anyone who thinks otherwise is a tool and probably won't ever like themselves no matter how small they become, how sad for them.
Yes we all should strive to be healthier because we want to live long lives, but people need to stop focusing so much attention to outer beauty and have a look at the person within.0 -
This is exactly how I felt when I was 270#. I was in completely 100% and total denial.
AGREE!!!0 -
This is exactly how I felt when I was 270#. I was in completely 100% and total denial.
AGREE!!!
how sad for both of you.0 -
It's very true.
There are plenty of people who are skinny but what is actually called "skinny fat" and that's not healthy either. Also plenty of larger people who's tests at the doctor come back 100% normal.
Being skinny doesn't equal healthy like people think it does.
People can be beautiful at any size and anyone who thinks otherwise is a tool and probably won't ever like themselves no matter how small they become, how sad for them.
Yes we all should strive to be healthier because we want to live long lives, but people need to stop focusing so much attention to outer beauty and have a look at the person within.
Love and agree!0 -
This is exactly how I felt when I was 270#. I was in completely 100% and total denial.
Well I'm sorry you couldn't change and embrace yourself at the same time, then
Oh I did.... when I was fat I was actually happy and thought I was awesome and if people din't like me the way I was-- screw them. Now I realize I was no fun to be around, shooting insulin in my stomach wasn't healthy, I ate like I wanted to kill myself. You can only be that much overweight for so long before you kill yourself. I sure didn't expect to have the realizations I did.
I loved what I had so much it almost killed me.0 -
FAT is NOT healthy... no matter how you try to spin it. Which is different than saying you shouldn't love yourself... no matter what. I mean... we MADE ourselves fat in the first place. (NO ONE force fed me the food I ate or held me back from exercise!) Hopefully, you enjoyed the ride there. Unfortunately, the trip back is a lot tougher.
When I weighed 335#, I was not attractive nor was I healthy. But that is MY opinion. I don't think fat IS attractive. Some people do, not me.
I spent most of my life in a size 7 jeans and felt VERY comfortable in my own skin. After I became fat, I got really tired of hearing "you have such a pretty face..." Yeah, I got the message - I ate myself into an ugly body. It was true.
Well, I am NOT a size 7. I wear a size 9. I am 50, not 25. I am healthy. I am happy. I love who I am AND what I look like.0 -
This is exactly how I felt when I was 270#. I was in completely 100% and total denial.
Well I'm sorry you couldn't change and embrace yourself at the same time, then
Oh I did.... when I was fat I was actually happy and thought I was awesome and if people din't like me the way I was-- screw them. Now I realize I was no fun to be around, shooting insulin in my stomach wasn't healthy, I ate like I wanted to kill myself. You can only be that much overweight for so long before you kill yourself. I sure didn't expect to have the realizations I did.
I loved what I had so much it almost killed me.
Then I'm sorry, you clearly misunderstood the point of the post. It sounds like what you were doing was embracing yourself and trying to justify to yourself being overweight. I am not justifying it; I am saying you should love what you have (and this is the important part) WHILE YOU HAVE IT. Is being overweight healthy? By no means. But you shouldn't hate yourself and be ashamed; you should learn to love yourself for how you look now, and as you look better you will only stand to love how you look even more.0 -
FAT is NOT healthy... no matter how you try to spin it. Which is different than saying you shouldn't love yourself... no matter what. I mean... we MADE ourselves fat in the first place. Hopefully, you enjoyed the ride there. Unfortunately, the trip back is a lot tougher.
When I weighed 335#, I was not attractive nor was I healthy. But that is MY opinion. I don't think fat IS attractive. Some people do, not me.
I spent most of my life in a size 7 jeans and felt VERY comfortable in my own skin. After I became fat, I got really tired of hearing "you have such a pretty face..." Yeah, I got the message - I ate myself into an ugly body. It was true.
Well, I am NOT a size 7. I wear a size 9. I am 50, not 25. I am healthy. I am happy. I love who I am AND what I look like.
Thank you! People misunderstand and think I am trying to say being big is beautiful. It is not--being big is not good for you. But you can be beautiful, and feel beautiful, while you are big.0 -
once upon a time i weighed 250lbs and was unhappy. so i worked my *kitten* off and lost 70lbs and was even more unhappy. i thought that losing the weight was the answer to all my problems. i gained every ounce back and learned that you have to love yourself always. no matter your weight, or your money, or your friends, or your status, etc.
EXACTLY! Some people think that embracing what you have while you have it means you're "in denial"; but if you absolutely HATE yourself, when you get to your goal weight, guess what? You are not just going to magically love yourself and be happy where you are. Psychologically speaking it just does NOT work that way.Between the post that sparked this one, and this post itself my facebook status is now.....
Hmmm. Think I just found the inspirational pep talk I needed. So now I decide the funk is over!! I'm awesome And tough if you don't think so!
I'm sick of thinking little of myself. Thinking I'm not good enough. Not skinny enough. Not pretty enough.
I NEVER will be good enough if I don't start believing in myself.
i'm now down 75lbs and for once i AM happy! but that's because along this journey i learned that i am an awesome person. (i also started taking depression meds...and i know that helped). be happy with yourself no matter what your size, shape, color, etc is.0 -
This is exactly how I felt when I was 270#. I was in completely 100% and total denial.
AGREE!!!
how sad for both of you.
Oh, it's FAR from sad. It's reality. OUR reality.0 -
FAT is NOT healthy... no matter how you try to spin it. Which is different than saying you shouldn't love yourself... no matter what. I mean... we MADE ourselves fat in the first place. Hopefully, you enjoyed the ride there. Unfortunately, the trip back is a lot tougher.
When I weighed 335#, I was not attractive nor was I healthy. But that is MY opinion. I don't think fat IS attractive. Some people do, not me.
I spent most of my life in a size 7 jeans and felt VERY comfortable in my own skin. After I became fat, I got really tired of hearing "you have such a pretty face..." Yeah, I got the message - I ate myself into an ugly body. It was true.
Well, I am NOT a size 7. I wear a size 9. I am 50, not 25. I am healthy. I am happy. I love who I am AND what I look like.
Thank you! People misunderstand and think I am trying to say being big is beautiful. It is not--being big is not good for you. But you can be beautiful, and feel beautiful, while you are big.
I totally agree with you there.0 -
This is exactly how I felt when I was 270#. I was in completely 100% and total denial.
Well I'm sorry you couldn't change and embrace yourself at the same time, then
Oh I did.... when I was fat I was actually happy and thought I was awesome and if people din't like me the way I was-- screw them. Now I realize I was no fun to be around, shooting insulin in my stomach wasn't healthy, I ate like I wanted to kill myself. You can only be that much overweight for so long before you kill yourself. I sure didn't expect to have the realizations I did.
I loved what I had so much it almost killed me.
Then I'm sorry, you clearly misunderstood the point of the post. It sounds like what you were doing was embracing yourself and trying to justify to yourself being overweight. I am not justifying it; I am saying you should love what you have (and this is the important part) WHILE YOU HAVE IT. Is being overweight healthy? By no means. But you shouldn't hate yourself and be ashamed; you should learn to love yourself for how you look now, and as you look better you will only stand to love how you look even more.
You're missing my point. I DID embrace and love myself when I was fat. I did not hate myself and I was not ashamed. I loved how I looked, I liked having big boobs and curves and I did not think I was fat -- I was 270 pounds and 5'4" - I was morbidly obese and I had no idea. I told myself all of these things --- I love me! I'm awesome --- and trust me, after losing 120# at one point and seeing all my flabby extra skin and my saggy boobs .... now I embrace that. The point is, if you love being fat and you think you're healthy -- just wait -- it won't last. Everyone has a different wakeup call that finally gets them off their *kitten*. Mine was being told at age 45 that my heart was 74 years old due to my weight and all the factors associated with being obese for so long.0 -
This is exactly how I felt when I was 270#. I was in completely 100% and total denial.
Well I'm sorry you couldn't change and embrace yourself at the same time, then
Oh I did.... when I was fat I was actually happy and thought I was awesome and if people din't like me the way I was-- screw them. Now I realize I was no fun to be around, shooting insulin in my stomach wasn't healthy, I ate like I wanted to kill myself. You can only be that much overweight for so long before you kill yourself. I sure didn't expect to have the realizations I did.
I loved what I had so much it almost killed me.
Then I'm sorry, you clearly misunderstood the point of the post. It sounds like what you were doing was embracing yourself and trying to justify to yourself being overweight. I am not justifying it; I am saying you should love what you have (and this is the important part) WHILE YOU HAVE IT. Is being overweight healthy? By no means. But you shouldn't hate yourself and be ashamed; you should learn to love yourself for how you look now, and as you look better you will only stand to love how you look even more.
You're missing my point. I DID embrace and love myself when I was fat. I did not hate myself and I was not ashamed. I loved how I looked, I liked having big boobs and curves and I did not think I was fat -- I was 270 pounds and 5'4" - I was morbidly obese and I had no idea. I told myself all of these things --- I love me! I'm awesome --- and trust me, after losing 120# at one point and seeing all my flabby extra skin and my saggy boobs .... now I embrace that. The point is, if you love being fat and you think you're healthy -- just wait -- it won't last. Everyone has a different wakeup call that finally gets them off their *kitten*. Mine was being told at age 45 that my heart was 74 years old due to my weight and all the factors associated with being obese for so long.
so then, do you recommend we tell all "fat" people that they're horrible, ugly and not worth the space they take up on this earth? is it better to NOT love yourself and instead hate yourself and just eat yourself to death even more because you now hate yourself? at least when you love yourself you actually want to stick around so hopefully you'll eventually put health first.0 -
I agree with the point of the OP: fat = ugly no more than skinny = beautiful and neither is relevant to how we should value ourselves. The magical 5/15/20 pounds that will change all aspects of our lives when they're gone doesn't exist. If we're miserable at 200 we might still be miserable at 120 if we don't figure out why we're miserable and make changes. I think there are plenty of people who use weight as an excuse for why other things aren't good/positive for them. Weight absolutely influences many things--look at the data on how much less overweight and/or unattractive men and women earn than fit and/or attractive. Taking control and changing our weight can contribute to other positive changes in our lives but we can't expect the weight loss alone to be a magic "life is good" pill.0
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This is exactly how I felt when I was 270#. I was in completely 100% and total denial.
Well I'm sorry you couldn't change and embrace yourself at the same time, then
Oh I did.... when I was fat I was actually happy and thought I was awesome and if people din't like me the way I was-- screw them. Now I realize I was no fun to be around, shooting insulin in my stomach wasn't healthy, I ate like I wanted to kill myself. You can only be that much overweight for so long before you kill yourself. I sure didn't expect to have the realizations I did.
I loved what I had so much it almost killed me.
Then I'm sorry, you clearly misunderstood the point of the post. It sounds like what you were doing was embracing yourself and trying to justify to yourself being overweight. I am not justifying it; I am saying you should love what you have (and this is the important part) WHILE YOU HAVE IT. Is being overweight healthy? By no means. But you shouldn't hate yourself and be ashamed; you should learn to love yourself for how you look now, and as you look better you will only stand to love how you look even more.
You're missing my point. I DID embrace and love myself when I was fat. I did not hate myself and I was not ashamed. I loved how I looked, I liked having big boobs and curves and I did not think I was fat -- I was 270 pounds and 5'4" - I was morbidly obese and I had no idea. I told myself all of these things --- I love me! I'm awesome --- and trust me, after losing 120# at one point and seeing all my flabby extra skin and my saggy boobs .... now I embrace that. The point is, if you love being fat and you think you're healthy -- just wait -- it won't last. Everyone has a different wakeup call that finally gets them off their *kitten*. Mine was being told at age 45 that my heart was 74 years old due to my weight and all the factors associated with being obese for so long.
No, I understand your point. But you were fat and in denial. You made no effort to change because you at one point did not think you needed to. I am fat and I know it, I am making the necessary changes so that I am no longer fat, but I love what I have while I have it.0 -
so then, do you recommend we tell all "fat" people that they're horrible, ugly and not worth the space they take up on this earth? is it better to NOT love yourself and instead hate yourself and just eat yourself to death even more because you now hate yourself? at least when you love yourself you actually want to stick around so hopefully you'll eventually put health first.
I never said in any of my posts that fat people were horribly or ugly and taking up space. Don't put words in my mouth.
In fact I'm pretty sure I said the complete opposite.
No one can say anything that will make you lose weight if you don't want to - if you love yourself fat, just don't love yourself for so long that you're in denial and think you are immune to getting diabetes, high blood pressure, kneed problems, cholesterold issues etc --- becuse you're just not. I thought I was invicible. I actually wish it didn't take me 25 years of being so fat before knowing that.0 -
No, I understand your point. But you were fat and in denial. You made no effort to change because you at one point did not think you needed to. I am fat and I know it, I am making the necessary changes so that I am no longer fat, but I love what I have while I have it.
Good --- just don't love it so much that you don't think you need to change. That's it.0 -
No, I understand your point. But you were fat and in denial. You made no effort to change because you at one point did not think you needed to. I am fat and I know it, I am making the necessary changes so that I am no longer fat, but I love what I have while I have it.
Good --- just don't love it so much that you don't think you need to change. That's it.
I'm glad we understand each other finally lol. Trust me, I don't. I'm just unhappy enough that I know it's time to change 0 -
I do agree that being fat is not healthy, I NEVER had high blood pressure, cholesterol or anything bad associated with obesity, but I know that if I kept going the way I was, it was going to catch up to me. I love myself the way I am, I AM beautiful, but most important, I'm losing weight because I don't want my 4 month old baby boy to grow up having a fat mother.0
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I think that seeing your entire self-worth as wrapped up in your weight is a problem in itself, whether you are thin or fat. You can love yourself and still hate the obesity, because the obesity is not all that you are. I know lots of really smart, kind, wonderful people who happen to have problems with their weight. But, that is not all of who they are. I have been miserable fat and thin, but that was because I didn't love who I was. Now, I love myself fat or thin, but that is actually motivating because I feel that I am worth taking care of.0
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I think that seeing your entire self-worth as wrapped up in your weight is a problem in itself, whether you are thin or fat.
Bingo.0
This discussion has been closed.
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