Something that bothers me.

nerdyandilikeit

I think that seeing your entire self-worth as wrapped up in your weight is a problem in itself, whether you are thin or fat.

Bingo.

Exactly. I think the OP is terrible at articulating her point, but I get what she's trying to say.

At my highest weight of 275 lbs, I was probably in denial of JUST how bad my health had become because of my weight, but I KNEW I needed to do something about it. All the time I was gaining weight leading up to that highest weight, I just didn't have the motivation I needed to make the changes. I wasn't happy with myself at all, emotionally or physically.

Almost immediately after I started MFP and realized this was the tool that would make it all doable for me to be healthy, I began to think I wasn't so bad. Not that my weight wasn't so bad, that I wasn't so bad as a person. I started loving myself again because I knew I was striving toward being healthy. For once, it wasn't just about being 'skinny,' which is the thought that made every other attempt at losing weight so overwhelming and why I gave up time after time. I want to be strong, and awesome. I want to do things with my brother and my little cousins.

I'm by no means content with my weight, but I don't think that in itself makes me ugly, like I did before. But my worth is now being built on the things I'm learning how to accomplish every day.

brittanyjeanxo

Exactly. I think the OP is terrible at articulating her point, but I get what she's trying to say.

I said exactly what I meant to say exactly how I meant to say it, thanks.

nerdyandilikeit

Exactly. I think the OP is terrible at articulating her point, but I get what she's trying to say.

I said exactly what I meant to say exactly how I meant to say it, thanks.

I didn`t mean that as an insult. My opinion is that what you think you`re conveying is different from what everyone else is understanding. If it wasn`t for at least most people, you wouldn`t have had the disagreements about semantics even in this thread. I think you have valid points that could do with less simplication to get your point across. It is the interweb afterall. Things can get lost in translation.

DWilbanks

I get it. She's not in denial and saying that she's just fine the way she is. She's saying the first step to any process is to love yourself and don't worry about what people's perception of you is. Because after all if you didn't love yourself you wouldn't have the strenght and couldn't have started the process of loosing, or toning, or even for some gaining weight.

ItsCasey

I think there is merit on both sides of this debate. A person should never feel like they don't deserve to be happy just because they are overweight. At the same time, I don't like how we (meaning society in general) seem to cling to this belief that because the average American woman is overweight, that means it's okay to be overweight and that people should just be happy with the way they are. I have a friend who just yesterday told me she's giving up on her diet because she's decided to just accept that she'll always be fat. I think THAT indicates a low self-esteem.

There has to be a certain lack of satisfaction with the status quo to motivate people to improve. Wanting better for yourself than to be perpetually overweight and unhealthy doesn't mean your self-worth is wrapped up in your weight. In fact, changing for the better requires you to love yourself enough to MAKE the change.

malloriewebb

When I met my husaband 12 yrs ago I was a size 2 at 118 pounds. I also ate cheese burritoes everyday along with diet pills. soda and a ton of cigarettes. AND never worked out for a second.

Now, I am a size 8 at 155 pounds, eat a balanced diet, drink water, stay away from soda, take a multi-vitamin only and have quit smoking. And I workout 6 days a week at least an hour.

No skinny DOES NOT EQUAL healthy. Ive said that somewhere else here before.

elenathegreat

This is exactly how I felt when I was 270#. I was in completely 100% and total denial.

Well I'm sorry you couldn't change and embrace yourself at the same time, then

Oh I did.... when I was fat I was actually happy and thought I was awesome and if people din't like me the way I was-- screw them. Now I realize I was no fun to be around, shooting insulin in my stomach wasn't healthy, I ate like I wanted to kill myself. You can only be that much overweight for so long before you kill yourself. I sure didn't expect to have the realizations I did.

I loved what I had so much it almost killed me.

Then I'm sorry, you clearly misunderstood the point of the post. It sounds like what you were doing was embracing yourself and trying to justify to yourself being overweight. I am not justifying it; I am saying you should love what you have (and this is the important part) WHILE YOU HAVE IT. Is being overweight healthy? By no means. But you shouldn't hate yourself and be ashamed; you should learn to love yourself for how you look now, and as you look better you will only stand to love how you look even more.

You're missing my point. I DID embrace and love myself when I was fat. I did not hate myself and I was not ashamed. I loved how I looked, I liked having big boobs and curves and I did not think I was fat -- I was 270 pounds and 5'4" - I was morbidly obese and I had no idea. I told myself all of these things --- I love me! I'm awesome --- and trust me, after losing 120# at one point and seeing all my flabby extra skin and my saggy boobs .... now I embrace that. The point is, if you love being fat and you think you're healthy -- just wait -- it won't last. Everyone has a different wakeup call that finally gets them off their *kitten*. Mine was being told at age 45 that my heart was 74 years old due to my weight and all the factors associated with being obese for so long.

so then, do you recommend we tell all "fat" people that they're horrible, ugly and not worth the space they take up on this earth? is it better to NOT love yourself and instead hate yourself and just eat yourself to death even more because you now hate yourself? at least when you love yourself you actually want to stick around so hopefully you'll eventually put health first.

No! We don't tell them(ourselves)they are ugly and horrible. We tell them(ourselves) to wake up and smell the coffee! "You are overweight/obese and you need to do something about it to live your life to its fullest potential. Don't hate hate yourself, but face reality and stop making excuses!

grayc70

I totally agree with you!!!!! I hate what society does to our brains! we are all beautiful in our own way!!!! we have to love ourselves or no one else will !! I read a book ...fit or fat... and it was exactly about that, just because you are thin doesn't mean you are healthy... I work in a salon and talk to women all day who are thin and have diabetes.. knee problems, back problems hip replacements ..heart failure... these health issues do not just happen to fat people!!!! but saying that i believe that we should try to be as healthy as we can...just because i love myself doesn't mean that i don't try every day to be a better healthier person!

livnlite

I wanted to point out something that a post got me thinking about.

On the health side of thing, just because you are thinner than someone, doesn't mean it is safe to assume that you are healthier than they are in all aspects. And just because someone is thinner than you, does not mean they are healthier. At a healthier weight, certainly, but you might eat better, exercise more, have a better heart, immune system, etc. If you automatically associate being fat with being totally unhealthy, there's something wrong there.


As far as the beauty part goes, you CAN be big AND beautiful, just as you can be underweight and beautiful. Is it healthy? No. But does it make you ugly? Absolutely not. Embrace what you have while you have it. We are all here to become healthier, whether that's gaining,losing, or toning. The desire to gain, lose or tone and keep going should come from knowing it's good for you, not from low self-esteem. What I'm saying is, while you may be big (or thin, or flabby) now, OWN what you have for the time being, because right now, at this moment, you are stuck with it. It will not change overnight.


tl;dr: Learn to love what ya got while ya got it.

Your size doesn't necessarily dictate your health, or even your fitness level. Someone who is underweight can be just as unhealthy as someone who is overweight ... and both can be just as unhealthy as someone who is at a fair weight. Weight is a factor that can attribute to being unhealthy .. but it is only ONE factor.

Society's perception of beauty is ludicrous. Often unattainable goals set for what .. vanity, popularity? I'm not sure what it is exactly .. It's ridiculous.