People Avoider

I think you will soon want to be showing off you new look.

I find myself doing the exact opposite sometimes. When I notice that I've packed on the pounds and decide it's time to start working them off, I sometime purposely wear clothes that I think make me look fat so that when I lose it will seem more dramatic.

OMG, that sounds so pathetic when I read it back. I'm such a tool sometimes!

Been there, done that. I pretty much pushed ALL of my old friends away. I'm lucky I got any of them back when I came to my senses. I'm still the queen of doing that from time to time... Not good.

I don't avoid people so much as situations where I'll be making a scene denying or turning down food/drinks etc. I'm trying to avoid alcohol as a general thing (of course there are occasions I will drink) but in my job... the bar is sort of the only "social" out of hours place in the mess and you are mocked for not drinking so I find it best not to go. Either that or you get **** about being on a diet and that you must be obsessed/possessed and that you look fine yet they're all talking about girls in a very brutal way...

The danger with pushing people away and avoiding social gatherings is that people will stop inviting you if you keep saying "no" to them. Just something to consider.

This.

If one of my "friends" is always turning down invitations, I stop inviting him or her.

My friends don't want me around because of the way I look. They genuinely like me as a person. Your post makes me sad.

True, but you're also hot.

Well, yeah.

I'm the same way,plus a majority of my friends are skinny but make really bad food choices and consider drinking a weekend hobby.I have a family now and choose not to consume alcohol anymore,even though other friends who are married with kids still think going out every weekend is ok.I've chosen to surround myself with people with a similar lifestyle as me and are trying to live healthier.Also the last time I lost weight,the old friends started acting weird and actually sort of jealous even though they have always been skinny themselves,so I didn't understand that.I'm still cordial but rarely see them,because now that I am trying to lose weight and get healthy for good,they aren't that positive in the looks and comments they make when I mention it.

I don't have that issue. My friends are my friends.

They've seen me fat, they've seen me thin(ner), and they've seen me fat again, and I'm not making a secret out fo the fact that I'm trying to lose again--but I also don't obsess on it or make it the only topic of conversation. My friends have supported me, ignored my weird eating rituals, kept their mouths shut when I make poor food choices, tell me that I look GREAT when I wear something that looks good on me, and again keep their mouths shut when I'm frumpy and sloppy and not looking so fab.

I have nothing to hide from my true friends, and who the hell else matters?!

I do but not intentionally because most of the people I know are not supportive when I am trying to lose weight or they just can't really relate. Trying to eat healthier and exercise is a real lifestyle change and that includes changing some friends or better making new ones.

I avoid social situations with my friends and our friends. AND I hate when someone asks me if I've lost weight, it's embarrassing to me. (I even deny that I've lost weight when I clearly have) I can't explain why I do this...... Now if they just say something about me looking good, I react in a whole different way. *shrugs part of my illness I guess!

i think working on oneself makes you vulnerable. Avoiding social interactions is a protective impulse ... at least thats what im finding in my journey. so i set up catch up dates ( walking the beach with a friend, coffee ) and make sure i go out, socially, once a week. Not only does this keep my confidence up, but allows me to see that i can blend my new lifestyle with the "real world".

I know exactly how you feel and do the same. I consider myself to be lying low rather than actively avoiding everyone. some people can be sabatours by pushing drink or food onto you often without any idea how much of problem that can present, and it is only self preservation to keep them at arms length. And of course that ta dah moment will be all the sweeter for being a suprise. Lots of luck with your journey and I hope you find the support you want.