How do you get judged?

CorrieV1976 · October 2011

I have been judged harshly for being a lesbian and an atheist. I've lost both friends and family because of both aspects, and that's fine with me because if someone cannot like/love me for who I am then I have no place for them in my life anyway. Luckily I work in a field that is strongly based in science, and most of the people I encounter are fairly rational, but before I was in this field I was discriminated against in school and employment...especially school. Anyway, things have gotten better and they'll continue to get better, and maybe someday the masses will realise that judging others for such things is just silly, pointless, and completely irrelevant to their existence.

This is what drives me nuts ...completely insane...with religious people (not all but a lot).... Let me first say...I do believe in God, however, your preference and your thoughts on religion or sexual preference is totally 100 % your choice and NO ONE has a right to judge that. I dont mean to preach because I am totally against people judging you....but in my thoughts...Only god has the right to judge ... no one else. (I know people will be judging me on this comment...) My brother is also an atheist , but that is his choice.... i'm sorry you get judged ...no one has the right to hurt another person, with words, or actions.....I wish people would understand that. By following the word of god, people are supposed to be kind to one another, and they are just being hypocrites by judging.

unsuspectingfish · October 2011

A lot of people seem to think that, because I work retail, I'm uneducated. I have a college degree. This job? It's called "paying my rent".

Alternately, a lot of people seem to think that, because I have an extensive vocabulary and frequently use a wide range of said vocabulary, that I'm trying to act more intelligent and/or trying to make them look stupid. It's how I talk. It's how I've always talked. I'm not going to stop just because you're intimidated. They should hear me when I'm drunk. I swear, my vocabulary gets even more extensive, then.

Oh, and people automatically assume that, because I am intelligent and well-educated, I must have grown up in the city. I grew up on a farm (consisting of apple and various other fruit orchards), several miles from the closest town, the population of which was 2,000 people. I read encyclopedias for fun.

nerdyandilikeit · October 2011

I heard a lot growing up that people thought I was a snobby ***** because I was so shy I couldn't talk to anyone until I got to know them. Then they always said "I can't believe I thought you were going to be like that!" lol I still keep to myself a lot when I'm new some place, after I get used to my surroundings people think I'm funny and just a little bit crazy, but always admit they weren't sure about me in the beginning.

Oh, hell. That's EXACTLY what people think of me! I'm SOOO shy when I first meet people. My best friend from high school (who is still my best friend to this day) said the first day she met me she thought I was a raging *****! It's so funny to think back on it now. Haha!

solpwr · October 2011

Judging vs Perceiving is a component of psychological types.

Essentially, most people (greater than 50%) are good at making decisions (a form of judgement) and additionally assess the decisions of others and judge those decisions as positive or negative.

A minority of people (less than 20%) defer making decisions. They develop a process for having the decision fall out of their devised process. These processes evolve, and often these people are caught in the position of not being able to decide (or judge) for themselves the best course going forward. Additionally, these people aren't interested in assessing the decisions of others or judging those decisions. These people may speak up to correct what they perceive as a blatant error in information, while not having a particular opinion about the person disseminating that information. They themselves don't view this as judgment per se, but those who are "judging" types would definitely view this as judgment.

Then there is the other 30% who may either prefer or defer making decisions, but don't also assess the decisions of others. These people tend to not appear to others as judging types. But they may be good at judgment. Or not. It doesn't really matter, because they tend not to assess others in those terms.

Personalities are interesting. To better understand them, do research on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator or the Keirsey Temperament Sorter. These assessments are tools designed to measure psychological preferences in how people perceive the world and make decisions. These preferences were extrapolated from the typological theories proposed by Carl Gustav Jung and first published in his 1921 book Psychological Types.

brittanyjeanxo · October 2011

my theory is that people judge and critisize you just as much as you critisize and judge others. so if you're not ready to cop that, perhaps you should be a bit nicer in thoughts and words.

I certainly hope "you" is a generalized statement, because quite frankly you don't know me, and you don't know how often I do judge others.

MrsFarrow · October 2011

Most men envy me. I'm a stay at home dad with a part time job (by choice) as a Personal Trainer/Group Fitness instructor not working more than 10 hours a week. I work out when I want, and get to do all the cooking so the family has to eat what I make. I get to kick it at home, watch movies, but best of all I get to be a dad to my daughter and a husband to my wife. Yeah, life is good.

However I have had people on forums call me a wimp for letting my wife bring home the bacon, and not manly enough since I do all the housework, laundry, cleaning, etc. IMO, they're jealous of my situation.

This came off as quite arrogant to me. I don't think it was how it was meant, but who are you to say if they're jealous? They may have been brought up differently. I was brought up in an environment where the man worked, the woman stayed home to take care of the children. Period. No questions asked. That's how my husband grew up as well. However, we have switched roles because I can't stand being a "housewife".

As far as I'm concerned, as long as the housework, cooking and such gets taken care of and the children get an amazing up bringing, I could care less if it's the male or female who's doing it.

But jealous? Not I.

HollieDoodles · October 2011

My husband is a pastor, so people assume I am the typical pastor's wife in the South. So, you can imagine the assumptions that go along with that. It really pisses me off that people assume things about my marriage based on whether or not I bake cookies or make it to every single Bible study. People also assume that I am close-minded and judgemental because I am a Christian. We are not all like that, I promise
I am also a doctoral student, so many people assume that I am a snob and I think I am better than them (which I don't). My family assumes that I am lazy, because I am in school instead of working. On the other hand, I get judged by people in the church because I am not a stay-at-home mom. I think people in the church mostly think of my going to school as a cute little hobby, except when it interferes with baking cookies...and no, I don't play the piano. So, pretty much no matter what I do someone thinks some crap about it.
Honestly, I don't care anymore. I know who I am and my husband loves me for who I am. The rest of them can suck it!!

You ROCK! If you were in my area and your husband's messages were 1/2 way as laid back as you sound, I would definitely attend a service or two

People have said things to me about who they think I am. I used to just keep my mouth shut, but not so much now.
I've been told that people assumed that just because I'm a church goer, volunteer at a local support/shelter, want to eventually volunteer as a Pet Assisted Therapy Team Member, and I'm majoring in Social Work at a major Christian university...... it means I'm a goodie-goodie, don't know how to have any fun, can't get rowdy, I think I'm perfect, I can't accept anyone for who they are unless their values/morals line up with mine, only listen to Christian music, have nice manners, and stellar grades.

Are they right???? NOT EVEN CLOSE

ninerbuff · October 2011

This came off as quite arrogant to me. I don't think it was how it was meant, but who are you to say if they're jealous? They may have been brought up differently. I was brought up in an environment where the man worked, the woman stayed home to take care of the children. Period. No questions asked. That's how my husband grew up as well. However, we have switched roles because I can't stand being a "housewife".

As far as I'm concerned, as long as the housework, cooking and such gets taken care of and the children get an amazing up bringing, I could care less if it's the male or female who's doing it.

But jealous? Not I.

It's my opinion because I hear at the gym everyday from many guys saying their job sucks, they wish they didn't have to commute, wished they could have more free time, don't like to go home to a nagging wife, etc. If that's the average male, and I compare my life, then it leads me to believe they are jealous because I may have it better than them.
You don't have to agree. Your opinion is your own, but like the theme of this thread people will judge others kinda just like you judged me.

ninerbuff · October 2011

I have been judged harshly for being a lesbian and an atheist. I've lost both friends and family because of both aspects, and that's fine with me because if someone cannot like/love me for who I am then I have no place for them in my life anyway. Luckily I work in a field that is strongly based in science, and most of the people I encounter are fairly rational, but before I was in this field I was discriminated against in school and employment...especially school. Anyway, things have gotten better and they'll continue to get better, and maybe someday the masses will realise that judging others for such things is just silly, pointless, and completely irrelevant to their existence.

We have a lot in common. I like women like you do and I'm an Atheist.

MrsFarrow · October 2011

This came off as quite arrogant to me. I don't think it was how it was meant, but who are you to say if they're jealous? They may have been brought up differently. I was brought up in an environment where the man worked, the woman stayed home to take care of the children. Period. No questions asked. That's how my husband grew up as well. However, we have switched roles because I can't stand being a "housewife".

As far as I'm concerned, as long as the housework, cooking and such gets taken care of and the children get an amazing up bringing, I could care less if it's the male or female who's doing it.

But jealous? Not I.

It's my opinion because I hear at the gym everyday from many guys saying their job sucks, they wish they didn't have to commute, wished they could have more free time, don't like to go home to a nagging wife, etc. If that's the average male, and I compare my life, then it leads me to believe they are jealous because I may have it better than them.
You don't have to agree. Your opinion is your own, but like the theme of this thread people will judge others kinda just like you judged me.

I didn't judge, I merely stated how a comment came off to me. I didn't say YOU seemed arrogant

If you want to get into it, you are judging them by saying they are jealous. You know? It's no biggie, I'm not trying to ruffle your feathers or anything. Like I said, it was the comment that seemed a bit off, not you personally. Chill, no harm no foul

How do you get judged?

Replies

Categories