Spouses

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THISisTARRAN
THISisTARRAN Posts: 487 Member
in Food and Nutrition
So, this is my second post of the day, but about a different topic. I am wondering if anyone else is going through something similar to me. My boyfriend is also trying to lose weight, but he gets twice as many calories as I do. So the problem lies in that when he makes dinner he always still has like 1000 calories to eat dinner with and I have like 500, so do you have any tips for this or ways to deal with it mentally? Sometimes I get frustrated and then the food is so good and he gets two scoops so I feel like I should have two scoops (analogy). Thanks for the help guys!

Replies

  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
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    You really should be concentrating on what YOU need to do, for YOU. Dont worry about the fact he may have 1000 calories left. How he manages his weight loss rituals automatically will be different than yours (not to mention, their nutritional needs are going to be different, thanks to being MEN! LOL)

    If you worry about him getting two scoops, you will lose focus on you and be more apt to binge... I say this will all due respect.. but.... ignore what he is doing, LOL!

    I can eat well within the guidelines I have to follow in front of male Chefs at work who just shovel down the food like its their last meal... and it doesnt phase me one bit.... I sit back and laugh and think to myself "glad its not MY hips!"
  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
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    That's just portion control - you can eat the same things, just in different quantities.

    It's nice you have the other half to support and understand your progress - at least you dont have to make 2 completely different meals.
  • shortandfeisty
    shortandfeisty Posts: 38
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    I feel your pain, Tarran! I am only 4' 11" tall and my BF is 6' 3", so he gets twice as many calories as I do, too. Some days it bugs me, too, so don't feel alone in that!
  • Jennloella
    Jennloella Posts: 2,286 Member
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    yeah, it's already been said, worry about you. You don't have to have something completely different, just eat less. Have a glass of water before sitting down for dinner, put your fork down and chew slow between bites, then you won't be "done" way before him either. Use a smaller plate than he does, trick your mind into seeing a heaping full plate.
  • leynak
    leynak Posts: 963 Member
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    Yeah sometimes it seems not fair for me too- probably going back to "Mooom, she got mooore than me!"... :laugh:
    But I then I think I eat bigger portions than my kids, they are a lot smaller than me. And I am a lot smaller than my fiance- he needs more fuel. I just eat slower & savor now :) I can't believe I used to eat the same size portion as a man that's 6'3" & 300lbs...
  • barbiex3
    barbiex3 Posts: 1,036 Member
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    I likve with my boyfriend, and he eats anything he wants, and he never gains a pound. He weighs 150 pounds at 5'9.5". I'm jealous!!! But I know I am healthier, and I could beat him at ANY race ANY day..


    with that being said, before I started this whole "be healthy" thing, my boyfriend and I used to just eat all the meals together, and we would probably eat 1,000 calories or more per meal or junk.


    Now, he still eats the junk, but I eat healthy food. We don't eat together anymore :o and he refuses to eat my food, even though it's good. It just sucks buying food for the apartment... so yeahhh.

    You can do it though! It sucks because sometimes he will bring me home freaking king size M&M or some other candy bar after he gets off work, and I'm like... REALLLY?!?! I eat it, but it does not help at all!!! so bad!

    At least he gets the memo on diet pop lol :D !


    good luck to you! feel free to add me :D!
  • fatty2fabby
    fatty2fabby Posts: 415 Member
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    my boyfriend is such a skinny minnie and always has at least 2 portions to my 1 portion, so i kinda know what its like!
    eat slower and drink water in between bites, really helps! most times im on my few last bites as hes finishing his second portion
  • lucycaz
    lucycaz Posts: 191 Member
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    Oh so glad to be gay.....lol

    My other half is also joining me on this weight loss journey and being both female and aprox the same height and weight we get to eat on the same plan....

    in all seriousness you need to focus on you - maybe try to order different meals in the restaurant so you don't have a direct comparison or discuss with him that he uses up his additional calories during the day when you are not around so that you eat the same when you are together...
  • mrscortes2008
    mrscortes2008 Posts: 13 Member
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    This probably one of the most frustrating parts of loosing weight while in a relationship. Heck, my TWO YEAR OLD gets more for dinner than I do! What really sucks is that guys only have to make a minor change and they drop 10 pounds when you're not looking.
    One thing that I've done is make the entire dinner diet-friendly. Then you can make your calorie allotment go further. Granted, this takes longer than sticking to your tried-and-true recipes while you experiment, but it's worth it. Usually, my husband doesn't have a discerning enough palate to recognize that I've swapped out ingredients for more healthy choices. (like greek yogurt instead of sour cream). Look for foods you can eat alot of without consuming a ton of calories. If you've got a meat-and-potatoes guy like I do, try a beef stew. At roughly, 160 calories a bowl, you can have 2 heaping bowls for under 400 calories. And your guy will think you were sent from Heaven. :) In fact, I'm making my stew tonight and I'm planning on uploading the recipe.
    Also, I cut up half of a high-protein nutrition bar in little pieces and munch on those while I'm cooking. This way I'm not ravenous when I sit down to eat dinner with my family.
  • AngelikaLumiere
    AngelikaLumiere Posts: 862 Member
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    My husband started loosing weight three weeks after I did and he has already lost more than I have. I find this very annoying :grumble: and I say so, but at the end of the day we are both getting healthier and that is what counts. It isn't fair that men have an easier time loosing weight:glasses: , it isn't fair that they can eat more:drinker: , but no one ever said life is fair:ohwell: . The way I get over it is to remind myself of my goals. "Nothing tastes as good as being thin will feel" Don't deny your feelings, because it isn't fair and that sucks:sad: , but remember the odds are you will live longer than he will, so stick to the plan and live a long healthy life.:wink:
  • mrscortes2008
    mrscortes2008 Posts: 13 Member
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    I agree with you. My husband has a very high-octane job, so he can plow through 1500 calories in a sitting (this is more than I get in a whole day) and he's still losing weight. I guess we just have to blame it on our biology...our baby factories want us fat. :) We have to trick our bodies to loose weight and our minds into not feeling deprived. Double whammy.
  • arw060310
    arw060310 Posts: 256 Member
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    That's a tough one. My husband is trying to gain weight, and he usually eats around 4-5,000 calories a day. And I only eat around 1,500. I tried and failed many times before because I had such a hard time watching him eat everything, and me get nothing. So I overate ALL the time. (Hence the weight gain). I honestly feel like the only reason I've been successful this time is because he is currently in Afghanistan, and I have all the time in the world to eat the things I need to eat, and 11 months to re-learn portion control, and how to cook healthier meals.

    When he gets home though I'll be in the same boat, with all his food in front of my face. I guess I'll REALLY have to concentrate on eating slowly, and stopping when I'm full. We will eat the same things, just different portions. I wish you the best of luck because I definitely understand how tough being in that situation is! Damn men lol
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
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    Oh so glad to be gay.....lol

    My other half is also joining me on this weight loss journey and being both female and aprox the same height and weight we get to eat on the same plan....

    in all seriousness you need to focus on you - maybe try to order different meals in the restaurant so you don't have a direct comparison or discuss with him that he uses up his additional calories during the day when you are not around so that you eat the same when you are together...

    Actually I dont think hetero or homo-sexual couples have it different... my best friend (who is a self-proclaimed too gay to function), I absolutely love him to pieces... He is RAIL thin! His fiance is a big german guy who once he shakes your hand, you have been severely CRUSHED and may not live to tell the tale! LOL Anyways, Scotty (the thin one) eats well, exercises well, allows himself to indulge in some alcohol here and there.... but his fiance has the problem with watching his intake.. he struggles like some of the ladies here who have posted.... I send recipes for them to try (and they love it!) and Scotty works with Bill - and then runs like hell to eat the other portion he hid so his fiance doesnt feel 'left out' - so sweet! LOL
  • fiberartist219
    fiberartist219 Posts: 1,865 Member
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    I used to hide cookies from my husband when he was trying to lose weight. I'd get to eat them, but he didn't want me eating them around him, because then he'd eat the whole box at once.

    Now that I'm trying to lose weight too, it's actually convenient to have him around. The very second I push my plate away and say, "I'm done" he says, "Can I have it?". Then, I don't have any leftovers and he cleans up my plate so I don't even see the food anymore. He just wolfs it down.
  • cutmd
    cutmd Posts: 1,168 Member
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    Man, I know how you feel! I try to remember I am smaller,but our stomachs must be nearly the same size! :laugh:

    I use a smaller bowl or plate, try to drink water/eat my veggies first, and sometimes skip the carb in the meal altogether. It's easier when he's out of town though!
  • ETC80
    ETC80 Posts: 28 Member
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    Our bodies are made to have babies.

    Their's are made to build muscle.

    My husband can eat more than me and not gain weight. He also exercises the same amount of time and intensity, and burns more calories.

    Life's unfair like that...

    Embrace your femininity.

    I'd take being a woman any day over being a guy, but that's just me...
  • Marcel7
    Marcel7 Posts: 52 Member
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    I love the fact that my wife is eating healthy like I am. She is an inspiration to me. All of my healthy eating and exercise are 100% due to her. She had the idea to get the WI, she had the idea to eat healthy, and she had the idea to get the WIFIT PLUS. As I say, AngelikaLumiere is always right.:love:

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