Healthy living = Bad parenting
ahsongbird
Posts: 712 Member
I took my kids to the zoo today with my sisters and their kids, they heard me talking to my step daughter about how I was going to stop buying junk food completely and that we would be eating fruits and veggies and more natural foods for snacks so that we have an easier time staying away from junk and so she could learn to eat healthier so she isn't overweight like me when she's older. That earned me several dirty looks and rude comments from my largely overweight sisters about how I was going to give my daughter a complex and she is going to be "anorexic" all bc " I want to go on a DIET." Honestly I want to scream at them sometimes, they make me feel bad for trying to give my kids a healthy life and I just feel like saying screw it eat what u want. Why can't they see I'm not torturing my kids by giving them actual nutrition? Why do so many people think it's okay to teach children to be lazy and eat like crap? And WHY am I being made to look like the bad guy!?! I'm so frustrated!
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Replies
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Of course you are not being a bad parent by wanting your kids to eat healthier. That sad though, I will caution against the "no junk food" idea. My mom was like this growing up- she simply did not buy junk food. If I wanted a snack, I was told to eat a piece of fruit. Needless to say, I felt very "deprived." We only got "junk food" if it was a very special occasion and we "deserved it." Since I was never taught to enjoy "junk foods" in a healthy manner (in moderation), I've struggled with this my whole life. I had an eating disorder as a teengager and to this day I am an emotional eater. Although I know my mother was trying to look out for me and make me eat nutriously, having no junk food in our house backfired. Absolutely buy healthier foods and teach your kids to enjoy them- but teach them that it's okay to have that "junk food" in moderation too.0
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Your children will learn from the example you set. Keep up the good work and don't let others bother you. Maybe they will slowly see the benefit and change their ways too.0
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It is important to teach your kids about healthy eating and your sister might be feeling guilty and taking it out on you. As long as you don't tell your kids they are fat and need to lose weight, I think it is okay to teach them about the effects of poor eating habits.0
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I am so sorry about this :C You aren't a bad mom, hell you are a better mom for teaching your kids what to eat. Generally kids want to eat whats fun and what their friends are eating so I commend you for trying to making your kids eat good food.0
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You are a great mom for teaching healthy eating habits!0
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Don't feel bad. I am doing the same thing with my daughter. Should we not discipline our kids when they disobey? how does that work out for them when they get to be adults?
Why should our diets be any different? We teach our kids to do the right thing even if it is not the popular thing so they grow up to be responsible adults instead of spoiled overgrown children.
Keep on doing what you are doing and don't worry about those who want to keep pulling you down to the bottom because that is where they are.0 -
This is basically what happened to me. Junk food was seen as a no-no so I would gorge in private. I'm just now even realizing that I had a problem with it. I don't think that's where you're going, but the healthiest thinnest people I know eat what they want just have REALLY GREAT moderation techniques. They grew up with them so it's easier for them than for me.
But I definitely agree with you in general and I hate that western idea of a 'diet' like it's temporary or something. we all know that's not how it works.Of course you are not being a bad parent by wanting your kids to eat healthier. That sad though, I will caution against the "no junk food" idea. My mom was like this growing up- she simply did not buy junk food. If I wanted a snack, I was told to eat a piece of fruit. Needless to say, I felt very "deprived." We only got "junk food" if it was a very special occasion and we "deserved it." Since I was never taught to enjoy "junk foods" in a healthy manner (in moderation), I've struggled with this my whole life. I had an eating disorder as a teengager and to this day I am an emotional eater. Although I know my mother was trying to look out for me and make me eat nutriously, having no junk food in our house backfired. Absolutely buy healthier foods and teach your kids to enjoy them- but teach them that it's okay to have that "junk food" in moderation too.0 -
Jealousy attracts a lot of bad attention, don't worry about them xx0
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I took my kids to the zoo today with my sisters and their kids, they heard me talking to my step daughter about how I was going to stop buying junk food completely and that we would be eating fruits and veggies and more natural foods for snacks so that we have an easier time staying away from junk and so she could learn to eat healthier so she isn't overweight like me when she's older. That earned me several dirty looks and rude comments from my largely overweight sisters about how I was going to give my daughter a complex and she is going to be "anorexic" all bc " I want to go on a DIET." Honestly I want to scream at them sometimes, they make me feel bad for trying to give my kids a healthy life and I just feel like saying screw it eat what u want. Why can't they see I'm not torturing my kids by giving them actual nutrition? Why do so many people think it's okay to teach children to be lazy and eat like crap? And WHY am I being made to look like the bad guy!?! I'm so frustrated!
FORGET THEM! Do they raise your kids or do you!
I want to say the same thing to My Sister...She allow/buy her kids so much chips, candy, soda, sweet cereal, cookies, ice cream...it is CRAAZY. But because none of them are over weight now, she thinks it's ok. I just keep My Mouth shut...let her rear her kids like she wants to.0 -
How are you a bad parent for trading junk food for veggies? That is just insane. We have a snack drawer at home that the kids if they ask can grab anything they want out of it. In there are small bags of carrots, grapes, rasins, fruit gummies, cheese sticks and bite size candy bars. I never want to deny them anything and make it into a taboo so they gurge themselves on it when they can I keep it available but contained. 90% of the time they will come out with the carrots or grapes or what ever fruit was on sale that week (hey healthy is expensive lol ) Yeah they grab a candy here and there but they are healthy and they make the right choice 90% of the time. That is more then I ever did and it is about getting them to make the right choices isn't it.
Keep up the good work.0 -
because that's an issue you touched that THEY know they're guilty of but too lazy to do anything about it.0
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Of course you are not being a bad parent by wanting your kids to eat healthier. That sad though, I will caution against the "no junk food" idea. My mom was like this growing up- she simply did not buy junk food. If I wanted a snack, I was told to eat a piece of fruit. Needless to say, I felt very "deprived." We only got "junk food" if it was a very special occasion and we "deserved it." Since I was never taught to enjoy "junk foods" in a healthy manner (in moderation), I've struggled with this my whole life. I had an eating disorder as a teengager and to this day I am an emotional eater. Although I know my mother was trying to look out for me and make me eat nutriously, having no junk food in our house backfired. Absolutely buy healthier foods and teach your kids to enjoy them- but teach them that it's okay to have that "junk food" in moderation too.0
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My son is 19 months old and eats more fruits and veggies in ONE day then sadly i do in a month...no joke. He loves them! He's had a couple bites of ice cream in his short life, but why not substitute with a treat that he loves anyhow?! I'm with you...the kids are growing, they don't need junk to survive.0
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I completely agree!!
Do what is best for your family, don't let any negativity get in the way. You're a great mother for what you are doing for your children, they will thank you when they're older!!because that's an issue you touched that THEY know they're guilty of but too lazy to do anything about it.0 -
You should tell them their insecurities are showing and it is not becoming on them.0
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[/quote]
FORGET THEM! Do they raise your kids or do you!
I want to say the same thing to My Sister...She allow/buy her kids so much chips, candy, soda, sweet cereal, cookies, ice cream...it is CRAAZY. But because none of them are over weight now, she thinks it's ok. I just keep My Mouth shut...let her rear her kids like she wants to.
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see thats one thing, ur sister isn't seeing the negative results of her childrens diets, but my sisters daughter is 10 and already considered obese. She lets her eat whatever , whenever, even today when we were at the zoo I had a little bit of a mocha moolatte at DQ and my step daughter asked if she could have one, I told her no but she could have any non coffee treat she wanted, then my sister turns around when I'm about to throw my mocha moolatte away and she gives it to her 10 yr old after she had already eaten 2 ice cream cones and a large freeze with ice cream in it. But yea I'm the bad parent...0 -
I can tell you from experience you are going about it the right way. If there is no junk in the house and EVERYONE is partaking in just having a hleahtier lifestyle you are in no way going to hurt her. I was my moms only overweight child so she alienated me , making me feel bad for eating what everyone else got to eat and even going so far as to slip me diet pills.We only had junk in the house and that made it difficult.I never learned what healthy eating habits were becasue I had no example only ridicule and that is what makes for a complex. There is a difference and wanting your whole family to have healthier options is a wonderful thing. I think they are confusing a better diet with dieting. The next time they bring it up just say you are teaching your family better eating habits not putting them on a diet. And if they still don't get it, tell them to MYOB.
You could also make healthier cookies and stuff so they feel like they are eating a treat but w/o the crazy stuff in store bought sweets.0 -
Of course you are not being a bad parent by wanting your kids to eat healthier. That sad though, I will caution against the "no junk food" idea. My mom was like this growing up- she simply did not buy junk food. If I wanted a snack, I was told to eat a piece of fruit. Needless to say, I felt very "deprived." We only got "junk food" if it was a very special occasion and we "deserved it." Since I was never taught to enjoy "junk foods" in a healthy manner (in moderation), I've struggled with this my whole life. I had an eating disorder as a teengager and to this day I am an emotional eater. Although I know my mother was trying to look out for me and make me eat nutriously, having no junk food in our house backfired. Absolutely buy healthier foods and teach your kids to enjoy them- but teach them that it's okay to have that "junk food" in moderation too.0
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I am a father of 7. YOU are the parent and you are doing a good job. Personally, we limited the junk food but never eliminated it. We only bought soda for parties or for the rare treat, but always had juice in the fridge.
We had a snack schedule on the fridge allowing them to choose ONE limited snack of a set size twice a day (1 popsicle or 3 small cookies, etc) but allowed eating fruits etc anytime. This worked well for us and the kids were not pestering their mom all the time. They also had only a 2 hour window to eat that snack, so if they missed it.... gotta go for the apple.
All kids are different and teaching them good nutrition is important as teaching them to avoid drugs, alcohol, tobacco etc. its all connected.
Just ignore your sisters. They have their own problems and are justifying their bad behavior. Don't get mad at them, feel bad for them and the mistakes they will regret.0 -
Of course you are not being a bad parent by wanting your kids to eat healthier. That sad though, I will caution against the "no junk food" idea. My mom was like this growing up- she simply did not buy junk food. If I wanted a snack, I was told to eat a piece of fruit. Needless to say, I felt very "deprived." We only got "junk food" if it was a very special occasion and we "deserved it." Since I was never taught to enjoy "junk foods" in a healthy manner (in moderation), I've struggled with this my whole life. I had an eating disorder as a teengager and to this day I am an emotional eater. Although I know my mother was trying to look out for me and make me eat nutriously, having no junk food in our house backfired. Absolutely buy healthier foods and teach your kids to enjoy them- but teach them that it's okay to have that "junk food" in moderation too.0
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