need to vent ( nothing to do with fitness/health )

JellyPrz619
JellyPrz619 Posts: 172
edited October 3 in Chit-Chat
Hello everyone,

I need to vent get someones opinion...

I had my brother in law and his fiance move in with me and my husband .. it was temp their living arrangments had fallen apart and needed the favor... so they moved in... we provided them with their own room absolute privacy, and they used my second living room as a storage room...

they were here for 3 months, the agreement was they would buy their own groceries, & clean up after themselves.

well the only groceries they bought were CHIPS AND BEER... they helped themselves to everything else, little things eggs milk bread meat... i was a little annoyed because i would run out of everything quick, my husband said it was ok seeing as they are "working hard and need help" okay i said so i started buying more of everything ... more groceries, more napkins, more soap, more toiletpaper

they didnt clean the bathroom ONCE, didnt take out kitchen trash ONCE...

now they just moved out and left some stuff they no longer want,.... left some extra flooring they bought ( scraps) because they have no where to throw it away...

ahem... my home is not the dump... am i wrong for being mad about this??? they left some kitchen stuff, decorations, some drawers and clothing .. WTF!!?? and they didnt bother to clean up the room i let them borrow either...

okay yes they paid us 100 dollars for rent a month,,, that is no where near what they wouldve paid somewhere else

and jst because they brought us flowers and a thank you card i am suppose to be okay with their junk here?
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Replies

  • ket_the_jet
    ket_the_jet Posts: 1,257 Member
    I'd start pawning their stuff.
    -wtk
  • TinaDay1114
    TinaDay1114 Posts: 1,328 Member
    UGH. No, no, and NO. That's just rude. If someone had saved my butt like that, I'd have cooked, cleaned, chipped in, and left everything spotless and just the way I found it. The fact that they're family almost makes it worse.
  • ak_in_ak
    ak_in_ak Posts: 657 Member
    it is very rude of them, you have every right to be mad!
  • KMSForLife
    KMSForLife Posts: 577 Member
    No - don't be ok with that! Vent your heart out!
  • microwoman999
    microwoman999 Posts: 545 Member
    Very FRUSTRATING! You should not be ok and you should make your husband clean it! I know its hard but that was being taken advantage of!
  • mispoohbie
    mispoohbie Posts: 31 Member
    I can understand your frustrations, I have been in the same boat before. Sometimes people don't respect your home because it is simply not their home, so they don't care.

    Now you have your home back to yourself and your husband. Enjoy it and just write it up as a lesson learned. I had to do the same thing.
  • MrsBlobs
    MrsBlobs Posts: 310 Member
    That would p!ss me off! They are either young and immature and will have a shock when having to do it all themselves. Or lazy bums who were taking it all for granted. Move in one of your own rellies for a bit with the express order that they behave/pay the same. I bet your husband would have something to say then.
  • Natural
    Natural Posts: 461 Member
    i find it best to establish the "rules" before agreeing on long/short term guests to stay. otherwise, they think they're at a hotel...
  • kimberly702
    kimberly702 Posts: 369 Member
    I'd take it to Goodwill... tax writeoff!
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
    Well at least next time you can say no way! and have a valid reason because you attempted to be nice the first time and they screwed the pooch. Smile you won't have to deal with it again :)
  • Sumo813
    Sumo813 Posts: 566 Member
    Definitely not wrong for you to feel that way... unfortunately, even family can be truly ungrateful for the opportunities they are given. I know it will likely cause friction, but may be time for a little chat with them to let them know how disrespectful that is of them.
  • Oz2011
    Oz2011 Posts: 58
    E-Bay that crap and make some money back!
  • Goal_Seeker_1988
    Goal_Seeker_1988 Posts: 1,619 Member
    I'd be sellin the stuff they left behind! I would have been pissed as well bout having to buy more of everything. I am greedy and hate it when ppl eat my food and use my stuff that I worked hard to earn the money to buy!!! Just sayin!!!
  • LoveleeB
    LoveleeB Posts: 560 Member
    You are so not wrong for being upset. You opened up your home to them and provided them with food and a place to live and they took advantage of it.

    I would tell them they have one week to remove their junk or it will be thrown away.
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
    I would wipe my butt on their pillowcases. But that's just me. :drinker:
  • farmers_daughter
    farmers_daughter Posts: 1,632 Member
    Nope, you are not to be ok with that. Regardless of whether they paid you any amount or not. Granted you were helping them out, but this seems to be a respect issue, not a "I can't afford to do anything about it" issue

    Anything that was left that is of any value, sell on Craigslist etc (if you are not interested in it yourself)
    Anything that is junk, take to the dump, write their name on the ticket (invoice) if there is one
    As far as cleaning your house back to normal, you may have to do that...
    And if you feel so inclined to write them a note, stating that you are very happy that they are back on their feet and you hope that they are doing well, you were happy to help them in their time of need, however it was unfortunate that they "used" your home and left a bad taste of disrespect in your mouth, you have taken care of the items that were abandoned, wish them well and move on. They won't change. They haven't grown up yet obviously.
  • Helenatrandom
    Helenatrandom Posts: 1,166 Member
    You have a right to be angry, but calm yourself anyway, for your own sake.
    You know what they are like now. Consider saying no the next time they want to move in... "We can't afford the expense of the extra groceries..." "I'm too tired to clean up after guests everyday..."
    As for the stuff they have left, let them know in a few weeks that you wish to prepare the room they left their things in for future guests (how far into the future is none of their concern...) and let them know that they have until the end of the week to pick up anything they still want.
    The clothing, kitchen stuff, decorations and drawers may be able to be picked up by AmVets or Goodwill or someone. Call and ask if they will schedule a pickup and find out what they will take. I wish I had a suggestion for what to do with their flooring scraps.
    You were right to be generous in the first place. They were wrong to take advantage. Now you know where you need to draw boundaries with them.
  • Stormy65
    Stormy65 Posts: 49 Member
    I would be upset too. But I probably wouldn't say anything, I just won't help them out anymore in hard times. Life is short and to fight over that would be (for me anyway) not worth not talking to one another. The next time they are in a pinch, I wouldn't do anything or help them. I stayed with my sister for a couple of months when we moved back to the area, but I bought all my own groceries for me and my kids, I cooked and cleaned and still worked full-time. I would not ever do that to my family, but some people are immature and just don't get it! I would be mad like you are, but I probably wouldn't say anything and I usually speak my peace until it comes to family, I really try to keep my mouth shut LOL! Not always successful but if I did say something and we had it out I would feel bad because we had it out. Thats just me.

    Im an opinionated person. Now if TOM was here that may be a different story ROFL!!!!! I would probably send her a bill for the clean up ROFL!!!!!
  • simber79
    simber79 Posts: 7 Member
    I was in the same situation before, and tried to take it all to goodwill...they told me it wasn't a tax write-off any longer??? I dunno, perhaps I was lied to.
  • RedPepper39759
    RedPepper39759 Posts: 10
    I would be mad too! But they "LEFT"!!! Thank goodness! Don't stay mad too long though, it is not good for your mental health. Considering cleanup their mess as a workout or a celebration of their leaving - we have to dig out the positiveness in a negative situation. Ask your husband to help since he was okay with his brother's behaviors. Then light up candles and take a bubble bath to relax and enjoy the peace and privacy.
  • Articeluvsmemphis
    Articeluvsmemphis Posts: 1,987 Member
    Well I hate to be the bad guy, YES it was very rude of them, all those actions lacked basic manners and didn't show much appreciation, but you let them do it. 3 months, after the 1st month we would have had a serious talk about what they were doing wrong. You're probably mad, but it doesn't help a bit since they didn't know about it. Just move on, and clean up because you let them do it for three months. Good luck, and they're family so hopefully the relationship stays good, that was nice of you though, $100 was such a bargain.
  • Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused
    Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused Posts: 935 Member
    Just put their stuff up on Craigslist in the Free Section. DO IT.
  • Tiggerrick
    Tiggerrick Posts: 1,078 Member
    Nope, you are not to be ok with that. Regardless of whether they paid you any amount or not. Granted you were helping them out, but this seems to be a respect issue, not a "I can't afford to do anything about it" issue

    Anything that was left that is of any value, sell on Craigslist etc (if you are not interested in it yourself)
    Anything that is junk, take to the dump, write their name on the ticket (invoice) if there is one
    As far as cleaning your house back to normal, you may have to do that...
    And if you feel so inclined to write them a note, stating that you are very happy that they are back on their feet and you hope that they are doing well, you were happy to help them in their time of need, however it was unfortunate that they "used" your home and left a bad taste of disrespect in your mouth, you have taken care of the items that were abandoned, wish them well and move on. They won't change. They haven't grown up yet obviously.
    I would do this ^^^^^
  • amelia_atlantic
    amelia_atlantic Posts: 926 Member
    Your anger is totally valid! It seems they really took advantage.

    True, they paid you $100 a month but that probably didn't off set the extra costs of them just being there.

    I would tell them flat out to come get their stuff or pay the cost of getting it removed. Put your foot down and make it clear this was a one time thing.
  • Avalonis
    Avalonis Posts: 1,540 Member
    The real thing to consider is this: you will be related to them forever. You don't want to have family strife forever over something that ultimately is completely insignificant.

    Yea, it was rude. Get over it. They are moved out, problem solved. Water under the bridge.
  • Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused
    Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused Posts: 935 Member
    The real thing to consider is this: you will be related to them forever. You don't want to have family strife forever over something that ultimately is completely insignificant.

    Yea, it was rude. Get over it. They are moved out, problem solved. Water under the bridge.

    ^^ THIS

    And the next time you're at their place, take a huge *kitten* to clog up their toilet. Then, walk out and let them know it's clogged but you have to go! Let them clean up the mess. That way, you just traded annoyance for annoyance.
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    The real thing to consider is this: you will be related to them forever. You don't want to have family strife forever over something that ultimately is completely insignificant.

    Yea, it was rude. Get over it. They are moved out, problem solved. Water under the bridge.

    ^^ THIS

    And the next time you're at their place, take a huge *kitten* to clog up their toilet. Then, walk out and let them know it's clogged but you have to go! Let them clean up the mess. That way, you just traded annoyance for annoyance.

    Ah...I love passive-aggressive revenge! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    The real thing to consider is this: you will be related to them forever. You don't want to have family strife forever over something that ultimately is completely insignificant.

    Yea, it was rude. Get over it. They are moved out, problem solved. Water under the bridge.

    ^^^This. And I'd put all their things in a box and ask them if they want to come get it or if they want you to throw it away. It was cool of you to let them rent a room from you for a while, and it sucked of them to take advantage. Glad they're out!
  • Avalonis
    Avalonis Posts: 1,540 Member
    The real thing to consider is this: you will be related to them forever. You don't want to have family strife forever over something that ultimately is completely insignificant.

    Yea, it was rude. Get over it. They are moved out, problem solved. Water under the bridge.

    ^^ THIS

    And the next time you're at their place, take a huge *kitten* to clog up their toilet. Then, walk out and let them know it's clogged but you have to go! Let them clean up the mess. That way, you just traded annoyance for annoyance.

    Better yet, leave em an upper decker. ;)
  • manda1028
    manda1028 Posts: 148
    WOW. id turn into satan and kick their *kitten*. that is very rude. :(
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