is this the right thing to do?
babyblake11
Posts: 1,107 Member
in Chit-Chat
sorry this isnt about nutrition or exercise but i really need some opinions here. so me and my partner have been together for about two years and we have a beautiful daughter that is 5 months old. hes always been a bit controlling and mean to me sometimes, but it was always outweighed by how nice he was the rest of the time. i love him, but lately he has been so disrespectful to me, and i havnt seen the nice him in a while. he will tell me to do things, and says that if i dont he will 'throw my food on the ground so ive got more to clean up' or 'make me sleep outside'. he says these things all the time and orders me around so much, then if i try to stand up for myself he will tell me to 'shut the **** up, my house my rules listen to me or ill deck you' and its just horrible, and ive finally decided ive got to leave him, as much as i wanted to stay a family for my daughter, i dont deserve this. i will ask him to feed her or change her nappy and he will tell me 'no thats your responsibility' as he is sitting his *kitten* on the couch. so im going to start looking for a place and buy some furniture without him knowing, then im going to take the baby and leave, is this the right thing to do?
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Replies
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yes, break it off before it turns physical.0
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You do NOT deserve to be treated like this...Get out before it gets physically violent.0
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I would. It will only get worse. What is that teaching your daughter? It is okay for a man to treat a woman with disrespect and threats. What if he were to actually hit you? Your daughter will learn that it is okay to be abused. You need to get out before it gets worse.0
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Get out. Tell a close family or friend who can help you. Take care of yourself and your baby!0
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You know in your heart what the right thing for you and your daughter is. You both deserve to be in a loving, stable home - so if that's not what you have now, you need to find it.0
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Do you have another place to go temporarily until you can save up money? I had a similar situation with my ex-husband. I ended up leaving him and moved back in with my folks. I had to block him from my bank account so that he couldn't use it on drugs and alcohol.
You need to get out as soon as you can. There are safe houses everywhere for women in your situation if you can't stay at family or friend's houses.0 -
pack your bag and run. I was in a realationship for 5 years like that. It does not get better. Good Luck! and God Bless0
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Wow, no you don't deserve that. Nor does your daughter deserve to grow up seeing her mother treated that way or be treated that way herself. It may feel like you are breaking up your child's family, but getting into a healthier, happier, more functional environment will better show her how family should be. Get out and good luck.0
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Verbal abuse is still abuse and is almost always the step before physical abuse.0
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Babe, I'm so sorry. This is gonna be hard but you need to get out of there before he hurts you and your beautiful daughter!0
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thanks guys, its so hard though im still in love with the guy that he can be, but not the guy he is...0
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Leave! if not for yourself do it for your daughter, no one deserves to get treated that way and as your daughter gets older she should not have to see you be treated that way either!0
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Okay if this is where you are at now then it is time to seek personal counseling and a safe haven.
It is too far down the road where a promise from him to try to do better will work out.
Get familiar with state or local agencies,talk to family if around there and or seek out spiritual guidance if you are so inclined.
A physical threat to you is not a matter to be taken lightly.
Ladies reading this that are in the lead up to the situation described read this line from her op.
"hes always been a bit controlling and mean to me sometimes, but it was always outweighed by how nice he was the rest of the time. i love him".
You can`t imagine how often I have heard this said or seen it written and it never,ever gets better.
It always gets worse.
I am not talking about getting into an argument and people getting mad but if a guy is mean at any time he is not worth having around no matter how charming or exciting he may be other times.
He will always return to what gives him security and it is at your expense.
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Be very careful, and get out of there as fast as you can.0
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thanks guys, its so hard though im still in love with the guy that he can be, but not the guy he is...
It is hard...I've been in a similar situation. Thankfully I got out before it got physical; but the mental & emotional damage was severe. A broken heart is easier to heal than a broken spirit or broken body. For the safety of both you & your daughter, get out before it escalates further than it already has.0 -
Yes, yes, yes. It is the hardest thing to do, but this is abuse. Abuse is not acceptable behaviour. You do not want your child growing up with abuse. Leave!0
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Totally the right thing to do! You don't deserve it and you don't want your daughter growing up thinking it's okay to be treated that way. Your life will be much healthier by leaving and your daughter's future relationships will be, as well. Be strong; it sucks, I know it does, but imagine how much worse it'll be if you stayed.0
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You do NOT deserve to be treated like this...Get out before it gets physically violent.0
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Absolutely. That is not a good place for your daughter to be either. As she grows up you will be teaching her that this is how a man is supposed to treat a woman. Get out while you can. No one deserves to be treated like that. Good luck!0
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You can't change him to the guy you think he can be. He is the guy he is. Full stop. Sorry, but I am talking from experience!!! Go and find someone who deserves your love.0
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